


The Past Never Stays There

by angels3



Series: The Crashing Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-12 17:08:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 104,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angels3/pseuds/angels3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A man from Jensen's past threatens his safety and his and Jared's happiness.  Chris always knew there was someone Jensen didn't want to talk about and he's about to find out who and why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This picks up immediately where When Things Come Crashing Down ended.

It was several hours later that Jensen snorted back a laugh. Jared picked his head up off the pillow looking down at the top of Jensen's head on his chest.

"What?" Jared asked.

"You know once the media gets hold of this, and they will eventually, that the war will be over." Jensen answered.

"Excuse me?"

Jensen shifted so he could look up at Jared, "I said the war would be over."

"Yea, I heard you the first time, I just don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"The war between fanfic writers, You know, the straight writers versus the slash writers. We've now validated the slash writers."

Jensen giggled, imagining the next convention and the questions that would be asked. Thank God he wasn't going to be available. Oh no, Jared would have that one all to himself.

Jared, obviously reading Jensen's mind, growled flipping Jensen over and under him.

"That's not even funny you little bitch. I wouldn't put it past you to leak the news just to see me sweat."

"Who me? Would I do something like that?" Jensen laughed again batting his eyelashes.

"Yes, especially since I had to bail on the last one, and wasn't there to protect you from attacking females at the other one," Jared grinned down at Jensen.

"That was not cool man, you're damn right you should pay the price I could have been damaged," Jensen poked his lip out, pretending to pout.

Jared rolled back over, pulling Jensen with him until Jensen was draped across him.

"Besides, that's only the battle not the war."

"How do you figure ?" Jensen asked perplexed.

"Because there's still the matter of the wincest. Sam and Dean have yet to prove that there is more there than just brotherly love," Jared's grin stretched across his face.

"Yea well, if Sera writes many more, we're going to be seeing the end to that battle too. I swear that woman walks a fine line." Jensen couldn't wait to see the response on the next Sera Gamble story because there was no way in hell, no matter how good an actor he was, that he'd be able to hide how he felt about Jared, which of course, would translate to Dean being a whole new level of kinky.

Jensen's phone rang in the other room, interrupting Jared's response.

"Bet it's Chris," Jensen said.

"Bet it's Steve," Jared disagreed.

"Oh God! I hope not," Jensen groaned as he headed into the living room.

Jared admired the view as Jensen padded into the living room naked as the day he was born. He didn't feel the least bit guilty at staying under the warm covers. This way he could warm Jensen up when he came back.

"So who won?" Jared asked as Jensen cleared the doorway.

"Shut up," Jensen growled. "Move over, you're hogging the bed."

"I was just keeping it warm for you Jenny, and I was right wasn't I?" Jared grinned at the venomous look he got.

"Don't call me that, damn it, and yes you were right. Fucking Chris tattle tailed," Jensen whined as he plopped down on the bed, quickly dragging the cover over his chilled body.

Jared pulled him across the bed until Jensen was draped over his chest. He ran his hands up and down Jensen's arms, chasing the goose bumps away. Jensen moaned as Jared's warm hands moved from his arms across his back, stroking warmth back into his skin. Jared let his hand travel down, lightly grazing the base of Jensen's spine with his fingertips. Jensen moaned again, a shudder running the length of his body. Jared smiled, loving how responsive Jensen's body was to his touch. Jensen's erection was pressed hard against his thigh, further proof of how turned on, he was.

"So what did he say?" Jared asked. His smiled even wider at the confused look on Jensen's face when he lifted his head.

"Who?" Jensen asked on a gasp as Jared stroked across his spine.

"Steve, what did he want?"

"Oh." Jensen's brow furrowed. He was having a hard time remembering anything through the sparks of pleasure as Jared's hands traveled across his body. 

"He wanted to know what the fuck was wrong with me," Jensen scowled at the memory of the conversation.

"Oh," Jared drawled. "Your answer was?"

"That there was nothing wrong with me other than it was cold standing there talking to him when I had no clothes on."

"Bet he loved that mental picture."

"He did mention something about mind bleach," Jensen said gleefully.

"Well, he should just be happy it was Chris that found us before then, huh," Jared said laughing.

"Don't remind me," Jensen groaned. "I still haven't heard the end of that."

"Did you put his mind at ease?"

Jensen sighed as Jared's hand swept across his back and up his neck to settle in his hair.

"Yea, he's not setting the hounds loose yet."

"I don't think Tom and Mike would appreciate being called the hounds," Jared snarked.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Jensen frowned.

Jared just grinned even bigger at the crinkle in Jensen's forehead. He leaned down, brushing it with his lips, his tongue sliding along the grooves smoothing them out.

"Stop frowning it's not good for that complexion all those fans love," Jared replied.

"Hey! They like my wrinkles. It says on all the websites," Jensen shot back, smacking Jared on the chest.

"Yes and your eyes, lips, freckles. Oh and lets not forget the bow legs," Jared smirked at the look of outrage on Jensen's face.

"Idonothavebowlegs," Jensen mumbled.

Jared snorted, "Sure you don't."

"Shut up," Jensen whined burying his face in Jared's neck.

"They can love it all they want as long as I'm the only one touching," Jared punctuated his statement by smoothing his hands down Jensen's side and over firm muscles to cup Jensen's ass. He pulled until Jensen was cradled between his legs.

Jared thrust up, grinding his hard cock against Jensen's hip, as he pressed their bodies closer together. Jensen moaned into Jared's neck, the friction of skin on skin sending sparks tingling through his veins. Jared knew he would never get tired of being able to touch Jensen, whenever he felt like it. He had never been particularly hesitant before but this was in a class all its own. 

Jensen shifted, trying to slide off Jared's body but was stopped only a few inches into his endeavor.

He looked up confused. "What?"

"Next time," Jared whispered.

Jensen looked at the dilated eyes and flushed features, the shaggy mop of hair and the kiss swollen lips and fell just a little more in love.

"What do you want, Jay? Tell me."

"I want to feel you Jen, want you to fill me up. Missed you, missed this," Jared stated quietly.

Jensen's breath stuttered out. In every relationship, he had always been the one to give and give until he was empty and used up. But with Jared he felt like it was a true partnership, something he had never felt in any of his past lovers Jared gave himself freely both in bed and out, it awed and terrified Jensen at the same time. Because it wasn't just physical it was emotional too, and Jensen tried very hard to keep his emotions under wraps, something he had learned the hard way more than once.

Jared watched the play of emotion flicker through Jensen's eyes, the confusion, astonishment, love and lust. He really needed to find whoever had hurt Jensen and beat the ever lovin' shit out of him. Jensen pulled his body further up Jared's until he could lean down, bracketing Jared's head with his elbows. He leaned down placing a slow gentle kiss on each corner of Jared's mouth, smiling when Jared chased his lips as he pulled back.

"Easy baby. I'll make it good for you," Jensen whispered in his ear.

Jared groaned knowing no amount of begging was going to rush Jensen.

Jensen wanted to touch every part of Jared, taste him, feel him writhe, hear him gasp and moan. He wanted Jared to come apart under his hands and body and he was going to take his time making that happen. He ran his tongue along the shell of Jared's ear, nipping the fragile flesh. Jared shivered under him as a soft puff of air was blown over split slick skin. Jensen trailed open mouth kisses down the side of Jared's neck, dragging his teeth lightly across stubbled jaw. Jensen captured Jared's mouth and slid his tongue between his lips, licking his teeth and gums until Jared opened, allowing him to delve into the wet heat of Jared's mouth.

Jared let Jensen take control as their tongues tangled together. Jensen hands fisted in Jared's hair, so he could keep him at just the right angle to deepen the kiss even further, stopping only when the need for air became imperative. Jensen rested his forehead against Jared's, they panted, sharing the same air as one breathed out and the other breathed in. He wanted Jared to know just how much he meant to him even if it took him all night to do it.

Jensen started a long slow torturous mapping of Jared's body, his fingers caressing over each inch of flesh, followed by blunt fingernails, lips and teeth. The drag of fingernails over Jared's hard nipples sent his body arching up pressing into Jensen, trying to get more contact, more friction, just more. Jensen sucked one into his mouth, fingers rolling and plucking at the other until Jared was shivering underneath him. Jensen slid his lips to the side sucking another bruise into the golden skin under his mouth.

Jared had taken to rocking his hips hoping to move things along a little. He had learned rather quickly that once he gave Jensen control, he wasn't getting it back until Jensen was finished with him. Jensen would have him begging and promising his first born child before he was through and, in Jared's case, it would be custody of his two dogs. Sometimes, he thought they loved Jensen more anyway, the traitors.

Jensen continued his quest to own every part of Jared, gripping Jared's hips to halt his thrusts. He slid his tongue along each rib, teeth nipping over tight packed abs to get to the other side, Jared's ragged breaths and constant moans ringing in Jensen's ears. He moved along the smooth planes of Jared's stomach, dipping his tongue into Jared's belly button, swirling it around and around, his teeth worrying the edges until Jared was gasping for air.

Jensen moved lower until his lips hovered over the weeping head of Jared's cock. He blew softly, watching the hard column of flesh jump under the stimulation. Jensen's tongue flicked out to gather the leaking flood of precome, following the trail it left behind to the base. He twisted his tongue along the shaft, laving across the crown. Jensen knew Jared was close but he wanted things to last as long as possible. He wrapped his fingers around the base of Jared's cock, squeezing just enough to pull him back from the edge. Jensen slid his lips down over the flushed skin, meeting the ring of his fingers, and traveled back up the expanse of blood heated flesh. He ran the tip of his tongue along the flare of the head before dipping into the slit to gather more precome.

Jared's fingers were white around the sheets he gripped, whimpers and moans escaping between pants for breath. Jensen released Jared's cock, leaving a kiss on the tip as apology. He leaned to the side where he could reach one of Jared's hands. He kissed across each knuckle, taking time to slide his tongue along the valleys in between. As Jared loosened his grip on the sheet, Jensen sucked each finger into his mouth, slicking his tongue up one side and down the other. Jared's breath stuttered to a stop before escaping out in a rush of air and Jensen's name.

Jensen smiled up at Jared's flushed and sweaty face as he let the last finger slide from his lips. He leaned the other way, lavishing the same attention on the other hand. Jared sucked in a gasp when Jensen turned his hand over slowly following the lines of his psalm with that talented mouth. The erotic sensations coursing through Jared's body seemed to electrify his blood, sending every touch resonating into each cell of his makeup.

Jensen pulled back staring down at the man he loved more than his own life. He leaned in, brushing his lips over Jared's, whispering his love into the kiss swollen flesh. Jensen rubbed his body the length of Jared's in his descent to the bottom of the bed, drawing a hoarse moan from Jared's chest.

"Jensen. Please." Jared whimpered, fingers clutching at the sheets again.

"Soon, I promise," Jensen whispered. "Just a little longer."

Jensen started at the juncture of thigh and hip, kissing and biting the muscled swell of leg and calf, fingers caressing over the top of Jared's foot and around his ankle. He dug his thumb into the arch of Jared's foot massaging the tensed muscles. The other foot and leg receiving the same affection until Jensen was again at the crease his dick loved to ride. Jensen slid back between Jared's legs, pulling him forward so he could nuzzle the velvety sacs, inhaling the rich musky scent. He lifted one leg resting it across his shoulder exposing the thin line of flesh hidden away. Jensen ran his tongue over it again and again until Jared's whole body was shaking.

Jensen pushed Jared's leg further back, opening him just that much more. He slid his tongue over the puckered flesh, savoring the most intimate taste of Jared he could find. He slipped his tongue past the tight ring of muscle, needing more, needing all of Jared. He pulled back, sucking his fingers into his mouth, slicking them with spit, before he slid his tongue back in. Jensen followed his tongue closely with a finger, pushing in and out. The looser Jared became, the further in he got his tongue, twisting it around, trying to get as deep as he could.

Jensen was unconsciously rubbing against the bed by the time he was buried three fingers and tongue deep in Jared's hole. He pulled both out reluctantly, shifting to his knees and pushing Jared's other leg out. He lined himself up, slowly sinking in to tight overwhelming heat. Jared finally gave up on not touching Jensen, the only reason he had held back was knowing that once he had his hands on him he wouldn't be able to control himself.

Jared reached up, pulling Jensen down for a kiss, needing to taste himself in Jensen's mouth. He moaned as he stroked his tongue along Jensen's, the fever bright burn igniting in his blood. Jensen's thrusts picked up in speed and intensity the closer he edged to orgasm, his control shattered, the need to bury himself in Jared the only thing driving his mind and his body. Jared was meeting each thrust with frantic rolls of his hips, trying to get Jensen that much deeper.

Jared's body was a mass of quivering, oversensitive nerve endings. Each time Jensen pounded into him, he was hitting Jared's prostate dead on and Jared could feel the burn of his orgasm spreading from the base of his spine through his stomach. One more frantic thrust and he was shooting come over his stomach and chest, his back arching off the bed and body tightening around Jensen, sending him shouting into blissed out oblivion.

When Jensen could move again he slowly pulled out, rolling off Jared. Jared was still sprawled across the bed staring sightlessly at the ceiling, the feeling not yet returning to the lower half of his body. Jensen maneuvered until he could pull Jared into his arms, Jared's head coming to rest under his chin. Jared fell asleep to the soft sounds of Jensen breathing and the feel of fingers stroking through his hair.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took them twice as long to get back to the city as it had taken Jared to get to the cabin. The snow continued to fall through the night and into the early morning hours, only tapering off an hour before they had planned to leave. Jared wanted to leave Jensen's truck and ride in together but Jensen wouldn't budge so Jared led the way with the bigger vehicle, plowing a path for Jensen to follow. When they finally pulled up at Mike's to pick the dogs up, both of them had white knuckled grips on the steering wheel. It took them a few minutes to unlock their joints, so they could make it to the door.

Mike opened it before they were halfway up the walk, his face a mask of worry.

"Don't do that shit again!" He growled.

"What?" Jared asked.

Mike ignored him, pinning Jensen with a glare. Jensen was smart enough to know why he was being yelled at, ducked his head, offering a sheepish apology.

"Next time, I'm dragging your ass back, and I can assure you it won't be near as much fun as Jared doing it." Mike said as he shut the door behind them.

"I left a message with Chris. It's not like I just disappeared." Jensen tried smoothing over the worry he had caused.

"Yes, and where is Chris? That's right. Not here. He has no idea what the weather's like not to mention it's hard enough to get him on a normal basis, but when he's on tour it's an even bigger bitch." Mike replied.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. You and Tom were supposed to be busy working and Jared was with his family. I didn't think anyone would miss me for a couple of days and I planned to be back before that happened." Jensen held his hands up in surrender. "Besides, who said I had fun?"

"Nobody had to say it. Those two Hoover size hickeys adorning your neck speak for themselves." Mike smirked at the blush climbing Jensen's neck and face.

"Damn, Jared, next time how about leave enough blood in his brain for it to function properly instead of trying out your own version of the Red Cross." Mike grinned as Jared ducked the punch Jensen was aiming at his shoulder.

" Fuck, I'm never going to hear the end of this from makeup," Jensen growled.

"You didn't seem to mind that much when I was giving them to you," Jared's grin eating up his face.

"Shut it," Jensen grumped.

"So where are the kids?" Jared asked, wondering how they hadn't been assaulted yet.

"The big brutes are out in the solarium. I let them out when I heard the trucks, there was no way I was getting a word in before you both went all gaga over them otherwise," Mike threw over his shoulder as he went to let Harley and Sadie into the hallway.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had taken them an additional hour to say hello to the kids and get them calmed down enough to load in Jared's SUV. Jensen decided, while he wasn't comfortable leaving his truck in the middle of nowhere, it would be fine in Mike's garage. Jensen left Mike with threats of dire repercussions if there was any new paint jobs or additions to his truck when they came back for it. An hour later found them at Jensen's house packing a bag and picking up the scripts they needed to go over. Jared would have offered to share his but along with the other millions of things they had in common they both tended to write clarification needs or particular emotions they wanted to get across in the margins of their scripts.

Jensen had unpacked and repacked his bag, grabbing his extra contacts and his glass case. Jared was standing by the door waiting for him and keeping an eye on the dogs just in case they decided the steering wheel would make a cool chew toy. Jensen noticed his answering machine was blinking. While most people called his cell, he had, had spotty reception while he was at the cabin, so he figured you thit would be a good idea to check them before he left just in case it was important.

The first three were telemarketer selling God knew what and were deleted before they finished the second sentence. The fourth was from Steve threatening anatomical impossibilities if he didn't hear from Jensen. Thankfully, these were dated before Steve finally talked to him. Jared was grinning so big by the time Steve finished ranting on the machine, Jensen was pretty sure he would have muscle strain.

"You know if your face sticks that way you'd make a good Joker for the next round of Batman movies," Jensen snarked.

"Mmmmmm, Christian Bale," Jared hummed.

"Next round I said. Batman will probably be played by Tom Cruise," Jensen corrected.

Jared made a horrified face and slapped his hand over his mouth. "Oh God, I think I just threw up in my mouth."

Jensen was still laughing when he hit play for the last message. He wasn't prepared for the lilting voice floating into his house. Jared knew he had never seen Jensen's face turn as white as it did. He also didn't think there had ever been a voice make his skin crawl or grind his teeth in under three words, but damn if this guy didn't hold the record.

"Jensen this is Kylan. Just got back on dry land. Been out at Seal Island and I just found out about the plane crash. I'm going to be in town in a couple of weeks and thought I'd drop by see how your doing, talk about old times. Anyway, I'm going to be in South Africa for a few more days and then heading stateside I'll give you a call when I make it back to the US."


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen hit the delete button, turning his body so his back was to Jared. He hadn't heard from Kylan in almost five years so he hadn't been prepared for that deceivingly mellow voice to seep through the machine, leaking poison into the air around him. He knew it was easy to get someone's land line even if it was unlisted. Hell! You could get a cell number if you were real good or paid someone who was . He figured he should be happy that he hadn't actually had to talk to the bastard, that he'd only had to listen to him over the mechanical whir of the answering machine.

Jensen jumped when a warm hand was placed on the back of his neck, squeezing softly and then just resting there. He never even heard Jared move. Either the man had developed stealth skills that Jensen knew nothing about, or he'd been buried so fucking deep in his own head that a full military incursion would have gone unnoticed.

Jared watched Jensen closely from the doorway the whole time, and no matter how well Jensen was at hiding things, it still took him a few seconds to bring up the walls and slam the shutters closed.

Jared could tell the message had blindsided Jensen, not only because of his body language but in the amount of time it was still taking for Jensen to marshal his defenses. He didn't miss the shift in Jensen's stance from profile to facing away from him. The slump of broad shoulders and the almost imperceptible in drawn breath at the caller's voice, something not quite a gasp, but close enough to draw Jared forward. The most telling sign was the way he felt Jensen jump when he touched Jensen.

Jensen always knew where Jared was. It was like Jensen had a homing device tuned to Jared's frequency making him show up when he was least expected. Jared had gone so far as to check his shoes, wallet, phone and keys looking for a microchip, once when he'd been trying to set up a prank only to have Jensen walk around the corner and catch him in the act. No, he wasn't insane they knew Mike so anything was possible. Jared accused him of putting one in his molar like the dude in Real Genius, only to have Jensen laugh so hard he was on the ground crying. That just made Jared pout harder, causing Jensen to lose it again. It was truly a vicious circle that Jared didn't appreciate, damn it.

He could tell the moment Jensen was able to pull himself together. Jensen's shoulders squared, his head came up, his chin pushed forward in a stubborn line. When he turned around though, he had a smirk on his face but no light in his eyes. Jared knew there was a time to push and a time to settle, and right now, it was time to let whatever this call had done settle into Jensen's head, so he could work it out. Jared needed to let Jensen know that he would give him time, but that he wouldn't let him stay there dealing with it alone.

"You ready to get the kids home?" Jensen asked brightly,

"Sure. You ready to talk about it?" Jared answered with his own question.

He saw Jensen take a long slow breath, the smirk softening to a small smile before answering.

"No, not yet," Jensen replied.

Jared nodded, bending down to pick up Jensen's duffle, and placing his hand on the small of Jensen's back needing the touch not only to comfort himself but Jensen as well.

"Well let's go then. We can pick up something to eat on the way home," Jared said as he ushered out the door, locking it behind them.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They sat in the living room floor stretched out, backs to the couch and food on the coffee table. Jared had started a fire while Jensen took the dogs out to stretch their legs and take care of business. The warmth seeping into their bones was making it difficult to keep their eyes open. Jared smiled when Jensen leaned over and laid his head on his shoulder.

"Thanks," Jensen said quietly.

"For what?"

"Not pushing."

"Hmmmm, you mean not pushing yet," Jared said shifting so he could put his arm around Jensen and snug him up against his side.

"Yea," Jensen said smiling as he nuzzled his nose in Jared's neck, inhaling sweat, smoke, snow and Jared.

"No problem." Jared answered burying his face in Jensen's hair, breathing him in before he pulled back to leave a kiss on the top of soft silky hair.

Jensen knew he needed to talk to Jared, and the amazing thing was he honestly wanted to, but not right then. Not when all he wanted to do was never move. He didn't think there was ever a time in his life where he had been so content. Jared loved him, and understood him, something Jensen thought was a miracle, since there were times he wasn't even sure he knew himself.

They sat in comfortable silence, happy to just be in each other's space until Jared noticed Jensen's struggles to keep his eyes open and his fugitive little yawns that kept escaping.

"Come on, let's go to bed," Jared whispered into Jensen's ear as he hefted his frame off the floor, pulling Jensen up behind him.

"I'm alright, we don't have to go to bed right now,"

"Oh, so you don't want to sleep with me now huh? You've had your fun, and now you just want to kick me to the curb," Jared grinned at Jensen's scowl.

"Shut up, you ass. You know damn well that's not what I meant. I just don't want you to think you have to go to bed just because I'm tired, not to mention it's real hard to kick you to the curb in your own house," Jensen complained rubbing his hands over his face.

"Well yea that could be a problem," Jared agreed.

He took Jensen's chin in his hand, raising it up until Jensen was looking him in the eye.

"I want to go to bed with you. The last few days have drained us both, so turning in early ain't a bad idea either, especially when I get to go with you," Jared smiled before leaning in and kissing Jensen gently.

Jared started pulling Jensen down the hall with him, stopping when Jensen dug in his heels. He turned around to ask what was wrong when Jensen pulled his hand away and headed back to the living room.

"I forgot my bag," Jensen explained.

"You have pajamas?"

"No, I have contacts, and I need to get them out. They're killing me."

"Oh," Jared's grin got bigger as he stood, waiting for Jensen to get back.

Jensen came around the corner and to a complete halt when he saw the grin on Jared's face. That grin was never a sign of good things, matter of fact, that grin had gotten them into trouble many times on set.

"What?" Jensen peered at Jared trying to figure out what he was up to.

"Nothing," Jared replied with what he hoped was a face full of innocence.

"Bull shit! I'm not taking another step until you tell me why you're grinning like a manic clown.

"Honestly, Jensen, you wound me with your distrust," Jared said as he moved closer.

"Again I call bull shit. Spill it," Jensen demanded, backing up a step.

"Glasses," Jared answered.

"Glasses?" Jensen face scrunched up in confusion.

"Yes, glasses."

"What about them?"

"I like 'em on you," Jared's grin turned dirty leer at Jensen's blush.

"God you are so weird," Jensen ducked his head, trying to hide the color climbing his face and ears.

"Hmm," Jared hummed.

"Want me to tell you what I want to do to you while you're wearing them?" Jared leaned forward and whispered in Jensen's ear.

Jensen wasn't sure if it was Jared's voice in his ear or the picture his words conjured in his head, but it caused a full body shiver and a definite lack of space in his pants. He'd have to reevaluate his opinion of that grin, seems like good things could happen when it appeared.

"Yes," he whispered back.

"I want to undress you piece by piece until you're standing in front of me with only those glasses on. I want to look down and see you looking up as my cock slides through your lips, watch my reflection as I come down your throat. I want to see them slide down your nose while you watch me take your dick in my mouth and swallow you down until you have nothing left. Then I'm going to smudge them up as I let you taste yourself on my tongue and I slide in slow and deep, fog them up as I pump into you until you come so hard you pass out. Then I'm going to slip them off and start all over again." Jared's voice was thick with lust.

Jensen's only response was a whimper as Jared pulled him into the room and shut the door.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared woke a few hours later to the sound of Kane. It was disturbing just how many musicians they knew that they could set their ringtones to names. Jensen was completely out, not even twitching as the music got progressively louder. He reached over and grabbed the phone, flipping it open as he slid out of bed and padded into the hallway and to the kitchen.

"Yea," Jared answered, pulling juice out of the fridge and grabbing a glass.

There was a moment of silence and then, "Why are you answering Jenny's phone?"

Jared could hear the smirk clear through the line.

"Well hello to you to Chris. I'm answering Jensen's phone because he's out cold, and I'm telling him you called him Jenny again."

"Like I care. He may be taller, but I'm meaner, and I fight dirty."

"This is true. You want me to give him a message?"

"Nah, I'll catch him later, no big deal. Just wanted to make sure things were okay."

"Hey Chris! Before you hang up I need to ask you something," Jared said before he could talk himself out of it.

Chris must have caught the undecided quality in the silence because he finally prompted Jared with a confused, "yea."

"Um I need to ask you something about Jensen, and I don't want specifics or anything. I want him to talk to me when he's ready but I just....."

"You just what? What the hell is going on?" Chris' tension rose with each second that ticked by in silence.

"We went by Jensen's to pick up some things, and he checked his messages. Most of them were regular things, you know telemarketers and Steve threatening some wonderful anatomical impossibilities which you know was really funny."

"Jared, I swear if you don't get to the point I'm going to let Steve practice those on you before he moves on to Jensen."

"Oh, sorry. It's just the last message set my teeth on edge, and I don't know I just have a real bad feeling..."

Jared knew he was rambling, but he'd kept his mouth shut for six hours, and he was having verbal diarrhea with no Immodium in sight.

"Jared! What the hell are you talking about?" Chris growled.

"Kylan," Jared spat the name out.

"Who's Kylan?"

"Well fuck it! I thought if anyone would know you would."

"Well I don't, so what about him?"

"Honestly I have no clue. We were laughing, listening to Steve rant, and then when this guy started talking it was like a switch. Jensen stopped everything, went still and tried to hide his face without me knowing he was trying. Chris I don't think I've ever seen him go that white, not even during the whole plane fiasco."

Jared already felt more in control just talking about the phone call with somebody, better able to put it in perspective, so he could think clearly instead of it eating at him. Jared hadn't even realized until talking to Chris that he felt like a pressure valve with it building up just waiting to blow.

"The first thing we're going to do is not tell Jensen about this conversation. The second is, you're going to tell me exactly what that bastard said."

It took a few minutes for Chris' orders to finally filter past the scenarios Jared was running in his head. Jared may not live in his head like Jensen, but Jared was a few steps above average himself, some would say pretty damn smart, not that Jared ever based his or anyone else's worth on what their IQ was. So he knew that the first part of Chris' plan was just asking, no make that begging with a capital B, for trouble.

"Chris, I really don't think lying is the way to go here man," Jared reasoned.

"We're not lying, we're just not volunteering information. You know if Jensen finds out before he decides to talk then he's going to lock up tighter than a clam."

Jared knew Chris was right, but he didn't have to be happy about it.

"Fine but if he asks, I'm not lying," Jared huffed.

"Well then we'll just have to hope he doesn't ask. Now what the fuck did this guy say?"

"Nothing much, just that he had finally made it back to land or something like that. I have no clue what the hell that means but Jensen didn't blink so he must know. Then he said he was going to be our way, well Jensen's, and that he wanted to get up with him to catch up on old times."

Jared waited out the silence while Chris mulled over what he'd been told. When it became too much, he decided to ask his own question, one that had been gnawing at him, since he found out Chris didn't know who Kylan was.

"I thought you knew everything that went on with Jensen?"

"I try but damn it, I'm not his fucking guardian angel. I swear, if he's ever had one, they quit the first day, that boy just tempts fate. I've known about every girl, he's hidden behind and every guy, he's ever been serious about, some before he knew."

"So why the hell don't you know this one?" Jared knew he sounded belligerent, but he couldn't seem to rein it in.

"Boy, don't make me fly up there and beat your ass. I do have a damn career too, such as it is."

"Yea, sorry. I just thought you could tell me something. I know it's not your fault, I'm just worried 's all."

"Best I can think of on short notice it had to be sometime between that damn show that never got picked up. Shit, what the hell was the name of it?"

"Still Life?" Jared supplied.

"Yea that's it, Still Life. It must have been between that and him taking that role on Smallville. There was like a six month period that he kinda dropped off the map"

"What do you mean dropped off the map?" Jared asked confused again.

"I was touring in between roles, most of the gigs were out in fucking nowhere. Me and Steve were dealing with some shit of our own making. Dumb shit now that we look back on it but anyway neither one of us realized that one or the other of us hadn't talked to him in almost half a year. He didn't call and like I said we were kinda self involved so by the time I got up with him, he was on his way to the white wonderland."

"So what it's been about five years? Maybe if this is where or who he was with when he went no contact." Jared knew he was grasping at straws, but he also knew under normal circumstances Steve or Chris talked to Jensen at least once a month if not more often.

"What makes you think it was during that time he hooked up with this jerk?"

I don't really know. Lack of a better time period, gut feeling, the fact that I've seen and dealt with almost every mood and range of emotion that Jensen accidentally lets leak out. When I finally tracked him down, he was just off somehow, kinda off kilter. I think I caught him while he was building higher walls, or at the very least plugging holes. 

Jared was shaking his head in affirmation. He knew exactly what Chris was talking about since he'd been witness to wall building on more than one occasion. It wasn't so much a visual as a feeling that Jensen was pulling back, shutting down. If Jensen had been a more volatile person Jared would explain it as a wild animal backed into a corner trying to protect himself.

"So what the hell should I do? I'm not going to push him to talk, well at least not for a little bit longer anyway. The guy shouldn't be showing up for at least a week since the message was a few days old. There's a little bit of time, but I feel like I need to take him and keep him away from any possible confrontations, and I know Jensen won't appreciate me trying to protect him."

"Nope that'd be a good way to lose your head and quite possible your family jewels, even if Jensen likes them a lot . Give me a couple of days. Let me see what I can dig up. Hopefully, Jensen will talk to you and I'll get a little more to go on. I'm going to call Steve and see what he can find out too. The more of us working behind the scenes the more likely we can control the damage."

"What about Mike and Tom? Should I see if they know anything, since he started filming with them not long after?"

"Hell no, if he finds out everyone is prying into his business behind his back, there will be no end to the hell on earth. It doesn't make a shit of difference if it's for his own good or not. Besides, I doubt they're going to know anything. Jensen doesn't open up to most people at all, and if he does, it takes some time, by then he's got it buried so deep it'd take an archeological team to dig it out."

"Alright, we'll do it your way until we don't," Jared said darkly.

"If the guy shows up, call me, and I'll let you know if I find anything out."

Jared hung up and made his way back into the room, stopping in the doorway, drinking in the sight of Jensen lying in his bed. Jensen was laying on his stomach, one leg bent at the knee, the other straight, the covers were spilling off the bed giving Jared an unobstructed view from the top of Jensen's head to the dip just below the base of his back. His skin glowed in the moonlight filtering through the window, it's light falling in lines across his face and back. Jensen had his arms wrapped around Jared's pillow and his face buried in it as if he was searching for a surrogate in Jared's absence. His hair was sticking up all over his head and the freckles across his shoulders danced with each breath, he took. Jared was positive there had never been anything in his life to prepare him for the love he felt for Jensen.

Jared slid into Jensen's vacated spot and snuggled up to his side, pulling the covers back up over them both. Jensen automatically shifted, letting the pillow go and burrowing into Jared's side a soft, happy sigh of contentment escaping his lips before he relaxed into Jared's warmth.

Jared wrapped his arm around Jensen and rested his chin on the top of Jensen's head. He made a silent promise that nothing and no one would hurt Jensen again, not as long as he was breathing.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared woke to sun streaming across his face where he'd forgotten to close the blinds, and the spot beside him empty. He touched the sheets, relaxing at the warmth they still radiated. He heard the soft sigh coming from the bathroom, answering the unspoken question of not only where, but what Jensen was doing. The bathroom was at an angle to where the bed was placed so he couldn't look straight through, but Jensen had left the door open. With just a little shifting, Jared could catch Jensen's reflection in the full length mirror that hung on the wall.

Jensen was completely naked with his feet planted apart for balance while he relieved himself. His head was thrown back, and his eyes closed at what Jared knew was almost an orgasmic feeling. Jared watched as the muscles in Jensen's back and ass flexed, his own morning erection jerking at the sight.

"You know, that's just a little bit creepy," Jensen's voice floated out of the bathroom.

"What's creepy?"

"Watching someone piss," Jensen replied, never opening his eyes.

"You left the door open," Jared rationalized.

"Yes, but you were asleep, and I didn't think you could see in. I didn't take into account your weird ass mirror placement," Jensen finished and made his way over to the sink.

"Did you really think I'd give up a chance at seeing you naked?"

"I was peeing, you freak," Jensen reiterated.

"Naked," Jared reminded.

"Fine! I give up. Move the hell over," Jensen sighed, pushing at Jared's shoulder to get him to move.

Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen and pulled him down on top of him.

"So what are we doing today?" He asked as Jensen settled himself more comfortably onto Jared's body.

"Well, neither one of us has looked at the script for tomorrow so I'm thinking we'd better get those lines down or Kripke and Kim will kill us."

"Yeah, not a good thing to face first thing in the morning," Jared agreed. "Oh, by the way, Chris called last night, or it may have been this morning," Jared mused, nuzzling behind Jensen's ear.

"What did he need?" Jensen asked tipping his head to the side to give Jared more room.

"No clue," Jared shrugged, because really Chris never did say. "He said he'd get up with you later."

"Alright, can't be too important if he didn't make you wake me up."

Jensen pushed himself up, sliding off the foot of the bed.

"Where are you going now?" Jared whined.

"To let the dogs out and start some coffee," Jensen said, pulling on lounge pants and an old T-shirt.

"Fine," Jared groaned, rolling over and sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'll start some breakfast, then we can go over the new episode."

"I'd like my eggs scrambled, bread lightly toasted, bacon not crispy and a couple of pancakes." Jensen just barely dodged the shoe that Jared aimed at him.

"Just for that, make sure you squeeze my orange juice fresh, none of that carton shit this morning," Jensen said as he disappeared out the door.

Jared could still hear him laughing all the way down the hall.

"Ass," Jared mumbled under his breath, standing up, contemplating just how wrong he could get that order and not get cut off for a year.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Five hours later, Jared was ready to beat his head on the floor he was currently sprawled across.

"Who the hell thought up this shit and then committed it to paper?" Jared complained.

"Jay, you know you'd make a pretty girl. You’re halfway there after all. I'd bet I could get your hair in pigtails and everything."

Jensen tried to keep a straight face but Jared's glare of death sent him over the edge.

"Why didn't they have you thinking you're a sixteen year old girl?" Jared was close to throwing a Padalecki tantrum the likes the world had never seen, and that was saying something since Jared had seen some of Megan's.

"Think of it as stretching your wings, something new to tackle," Jensen said, choking back more laughter.

"That's okay, you keep laughing, and I'm going to have a little chat with Sera, see if we can't come up with a nice juicy story for Dean," Jared smirked as he ran over interesting scenarios in his head.

Jensen stopped laughing his face going from mirth to worry. Sera was scary, there was no telling what she would come up with alone, but with Jared whispering in her ear poor Dean would end up tied to a bed half naked, with an Incubus hovering around. Okay, maybe not. Jared seemed to be a little possessive and somebody would have to play that part, but Jensen knew whatever they would come up with would be bad, very bad.

Jensen's little comment about spreading his wings had triggered a definite idea. Jared would have to talk to Sera tomorrow because the more he thought about it the more the the idea began to take shape and the harder he got.

"Jared? I don't know what you’re thinking, but stop. I didn't come up with the script." Jensen's voice disintegrated into a whine at the end. "You know you'd be laughing if it was Dean." 

"Oh, I know, but you certainly seem to be enjoying it just a little too much," Jared's grin grew wider. 

He knew he’d enjoy it if it had been Dean being zapped and thinking he was a teenage girl, but there was no way Jared was going to give up on the plan forming quickly in his head. He had no doubt that Sera would love the idea and the fans, they were going to go ballistic. The idea solidified when ten pages later, Sam was decked out in pink glitter pens, bracelet, and, Oh Hell No! There was no way he was wearing fluorescent pink nail polish. He'd forget to take the shit off and Jensen wouldn't tell him. Jared could already imagine the looks he'd get at the grocery store, or even worse, the bar.

Jared heard Jensen choking, and when he looked up, Jensen's face was bright red, his lips compressed in a thin line, trying to hold it in.

"I'm going to go..... the room..... be back," Jensen's voice broke as he rushed out of the living room.

Jared could hear the muffled howls of laughter and the wheezing coming from what had to be Jensen's face buried in a pillow.

"Oh yeah, I'm definitely talking to Sera tomorrow," Jared mumbled under his breath.

Wings were most assuredly in order. Jensen hated having to show his body off, preferring to be known for his acting, but sometimes you just had to do both. Jared was going to make sure wings were a part of it. He could picture it now. Dean cursed for opening his smart mouth as always, but to the wrong person, not that, that hadn't happened before, hello, Daddy Demon. They'd make it back to the place they were squatting, because a motel wouldn't do in this episode. Dean would double over before falling to his knees, his back hunched over as the pain arched through his body. Jared could see Jensen on the ground, shirt torn away when the wings broke through, sweat glistening across the plane of his back.

Jared wasn't picky about much else except the wings needed to be white, maybe with an iridescent glow to them, like the sheen you get from mother of pearl. The only other requirement was that Jensen would be shirtless for at least half the episode. Sera would love it, if she hadn't already toyed with the idea. Jared had no idea how he'd keep his hands off Jensen, but he'd find a way. Maybe he'd work out how to borrow them for the weekend. That would keep his mind occupied for a little while at least. Shit! He'd have to make sure wardrobe gave him the extra baggy Sam jeans because he'd be hard the whole time, but it would be so worth it.

Jensen stopped at the end of the hallway, watching the grin he had named 'Trouble' spread across Jared's face. He groaned, knowing there was definitely going to be payback. He ran his fingers through Jared's hair on his way back to the couch. They spent another couple of hours working on lines before calling an end to work, with Jensen preoccupied with all kinds of horrendous plot lines that Jared would be whispering to Sera come Monday morning.

Jensen had decided to cook, nothing spectacular, because they were at Jared's, and unless you wanted white bread sandwiches with sour gummy worms as filler, the choices were limited. Thankfully, there were pork chops in the freezer, he had taken them out to thaw during one of their breaks. It wasn't that Jared didn't know how to cook, rather the lack of time, coupled with the hatred of cleaning up behind himself that drove him to eat out nine times out of ten. It confused the shit out of Jensen because every time Jensen had cooked, Jared had helped him clean up. Jared had explained by saying, that was different but Jensen really despised paradoxes and circular thinking. It gave him a freaking headache, and Jared had to be one of the bigger paradoxes to exist, so Jensen did the only thing he could and just let it be.

Jensen seasoned the pork chops and placed them in the oven to bake. He set everything up to steam some rice and tried to decide what else he could find in Jared's barren cabinets. He finally gave up, and threw a salad together, leaving it in the fridge until everything else was ready. Jared had taken the dogs for a quick walk around the block. Jensen would have typically gone with him to do, but he had been caught sneezing and sneaking Dayquil and Jared refused to let him out of the house until they went to work the next morning. As he sat waiting for Jared to come back he got lost in past memories.

*****

He was nearing the end of his run on Dawson’s Creek, the story line slowly winding itself out and he had started to look at other projects. Things had been quiet lately with the exception of Chris and Steve. They had been his best friends for years and when they decided to start seeing each other he’d been thrilled for them, but worried that if things didn’t work out he would be in a no win situation with both pulling him in opposite directions. 

His sleep was interrupted by the insistent buzzing of his phone. Leave it to Chris to call him at seven in the morning, the fucker probably hadn't even been to bed yet. Chris was pissed about some guy hitting on Steve. Jensen just did not get it. Steve loved Chris and would never cheat on him, and Chris knew it, but his insecure side would raise up like a tornado, ripping anything in it's wake apart. Unfortunately, Steve was more often than not at ground zero. 

Jensen fielded calls from both sides of the equation, Chris needing someone to vent to, and Steve needing someone just to listen to him explain that he didn't want anyone else and since Chris was being hardheaded, Jensen was the next best thing. Jensen wondered sometimes when he got his degree in marital counseling. 

Jensen had daydreamed about knocking some sense into Chris' head more than once. Steve always sounded so lost and confused when Chris would slide into his own head, obsessing about Steve leaving him. Steve felt like Chris didn't trust him and Chris couldn't seem to shake his fear of abandonment. Jensen knew that if they didn't get their shit together they were going to destroy something special. It had taken a year of serious talks and lots of yelling, but they had finally figured it out. Jensen always measured his relationships by theirs and, so far, none had even come close. Well, until Jared. 

Needless to say, Jensen couldn't go back to sleep after Chris' call, so he packed up and headed to the beach. Filming in North Carolina did have it's advantages, after all. He only ever stayed a couple hours at the time as he was prone to burning, whenever he spent any time in the sun, his freckles looked like they had been splashed across his face with neon paint. He was just about to call it a day and head back to the cottage he'd rented when one of the girls a few feet away started screaming. 

Jensen followed the girls horrified gaze out to a surfer that seemed to be struggling with his board, but a closer look proved it wasn't the board he was struggling with, it was a shark. Jensen could see the dorsal fin moving back and forth as the surfer was shaken and disappeared below the waters surface. He kept his eyes trained on the last spot he'd seen the surfer running into the oncoming waves, while yelling at the girls to call 911. 

He was thigh deep when he saw the surfer bob back to the surface, the dorsal fin of the shark moving the other way before it disappeared under the water. It felt like it took an eternity to reach the surfer and the closer he got, he could see the blood tinted water as the man tried to paddle back in with one arm, the other trailing limply in the current. Jensen moved alongside the board until he was able to detach the ankle line so he could use it to pull the board back to shore, the whole time keeping watch for a return visit from the shark. 

Looking at the surfer, Jensen realized just how young the man was, not a man really more a boy in his late teens, probably not much younger than him. The kid was losing a lot of blood and his face was a sickly shade of ghost white and pale gray. Jensen stroked a little bit harder and faster, trying to get him to help . By the time he was able to walk instead of swim the rescue trucks could be heard on the main road and a couple of the guys that had been further down the beach when the screaming started were finally close enough to help him pull the kid onto the beach. 

They quickly worked together to apply a tourniquet to the upper portion of his arm, right above where most of the damage seemed to be, trying to stem the flow of blood that was coloring the sand around to a deep rust. One of the girls had grabbed all the beach towels she could find, covering the kid up to stave off shock as much as possible although Jensen was sure it was a little late for that. The surfer’s lips were blue and pressed tightly together, but he finally managed to answer Jensen's attempts to get his name, saying it was Mark. Jensen was also able to get a phone number for Mark's mom before the rescue team took over. 

Jensen still had sirens ringing in his ears and the taste of iron heavy at the back of his throat, while he rinsed his hands off repeatedly, using sand to scrub at them. He could still see blood under his fingernails and in the fine lines of his knuckles, but it was the best he could do at the time. He made a quick stop to pick up his book and beach paraphernalia, trying to compose in his head what he could say to Mark's mom to make it easier, but then decided there wasn't a way and to just go with what he knew. He had promised Mark as they were loading him into the ambulance that he would call and try to keep her calm. Mark seemed to be very worried about her falling apart. Luckily she lived in the same state but he didn't know how far away she was. 

The phone call went about as expected. Jensen told Mark's mom what happened, and that he'd been conscious when they left to go to the hospital, but that he didn't know anything else. 

Jensen called the producer and asked if he could have the day off, explaining what happened, and that he felt like he should go to the hospital at least until Mark’s mom got there. The producer told him he would shoot around his scenes and to do what he needed to do. 

When he got to the hospital, he handed over the contact information he had, explaining he had already spoken with Mark’s mom. Four hours later, and no information later, a woman rushed into the waiting room, distress and tears marking her face. She spoke with the nurse, taking the clip board she was handed. Jensen saw the nurse point at him, and the lady following the motion with her head. The woman, who Jensen could only assume was Mark's mom, made her way towards him. She dodged his outstretched hand and pulled him into a full body hug, thanking him profusely. 

Jensen could tell from the heat running up his neck that he was blushing the shade of a tomato. When she pulled back, allowing him to breath, he tried to tell her it was what anyone would do, but she didn't want to hear it. She felt he was a hero and he just better accept it, at which point Jensen made the wise decision to shut up and not fight it. She introduced herself as Cecelia but she said everyone just called her Celia or Celi. Celia told him the nurse was calling up to the O.R. one of the nurses would be coming down to tell them what was going on. 

A few minutes later, a nurse arrived in scrubs to speak to Celia. She dragged Jensen with her to the surgical waiting area, telling him he should know what was happening too, since she would be waiting at morgue if it wasn't for him. Jensen tried to explain that he wasn't the only one that helped, but she said he was the one that was here waiting when he didn't have to be. 

The nurse explained that they had stopped most of the major bleeding, and that it would likely be another two or three hours before Mark was out of surgery. The doctors were trying to repair as much damaged blood vessels and muscle and minimize the tissue loss as much as possible and that a plastic surgeon was there as well in the hopes that less reconstruction would be necessary if he could do what was manageable right away. 

Jensen spent the next few hours telling Celia what happened, and trading stories about things they'd done in their lives. Jensen talked about his family and how he got homesick sometimes. Celia talked about her job and how Mark had a penchant for trouble, even when he wasn't looking for it. When the nurse came to take her back to the recovery room she hugged Jensen again and told him that one day someone would know just how special he was and they better hang on to him, or they'd have her to answer to. 

Jensen hadn't been able to get to the hospital in person since the day of the attack. He was finishing up his filming for Dawson's Creek, and he had done several readings for a new pilot. He had kept in touch with Celia, and one week later he got a call asking if he would come by the hospital. They were releasing Mark, but she wanted a proper goodbye and Mark wanted to meet the guy with **the eyes**. Jensen's confused silence caused Celia to laugh. She explained that the only thing Mark could remember as shock took over was Jensen's eyes and his voice. The doctors said it wasn't unusual when someone that had experienced the type trauma Mark had for them to be able to focus on one thing, if at all. 

Mark was sitting on the end of the bed looking a hell of a lot better than the last time Jensen had seen him. Celia was in a chair with her back to the door, but what caught Jensen's attention was the guy talking to Mark. The guy was probably 6’ maybe 6’1" with dark wavy hair. His t-shirt was stretched across broad shoulders. Jensen followed the path of worn cotton where it was tucked into worn denim, and then lower, but it was the guy's voice that captivated Jensen. It had an almost lyrical quality to the accent. 

Mark saw him first, waving him in as the guy finished what he'd been saying. Jensen moved into the room as the man turned to see who Mark was waving at. Jensen found himself looking into eyes the color of the ocean. It took a minute for him to realize Celia was doing introductions. Jensen blinked a few times and focused, accepting Mark's thanks and nodding to the guy Celia introduced as Kylan Barclay. Celia explained that he was a marine biologist that specialized in sharks and their behavior and had been following the increase in shark attacks along the eastern coastline. 

Kylan said that he had been astonished at the high number of attacks starting in Florida and going as far north as New York, he asked if Jensen had some time that he could talk to him about what he'd witnessed. Jensen told him he did, but that he didn't see much it happened so fast, and he was more focused on Mark than the shark. The nurse came in with Mark's release papers and a wheel chair. Jensen said his goodbyes, promising to keep in touch. Kylan asked if he knew where he could get some decent coffee, and as they say the rest was history.

*****

Jensen heard the back door open and the sound of clickity click of nails on hardwood floor, followed closely by the thump, thump of Jared kicking his tennis shoes off. A few seconds later, Jared appeared around the corner, his nose leading the way.

"Something smells awesome," he said as he opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"You're lucky you smell anything. It's the grocery store for you tomorrow. On second thought, we'll both go, you'll come home with beer and candy and nothing else," Jensen scolded.

Jared just grinned and finished his water.

"Go take a shower, while I start the rice, you smell like wet dog," Jensen said, wrinkling his nose.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway," Jared kissed the top of Jensen's head as he went by on his way to the bathroom.

"Yeah, I do," Jensen whispered to himself.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Conversation flowed during supper and clean up, and Jensen tried to find some way to bring up the subject of Kylan, but he never found an opening where it seemed to fit in. He knew the longer he waited, the harder it would be to tell Jared everything because he was only going to tell this story once and then that was it. He didn't want to think about it much less talk about it ever again. Unfortunately, with the very real possibility of Kylan visiting, Jensen had a feeling it wasn't going to be over anytime soon.

They were laying on the couch watching a documentary on the maternal instincts of gorillas. Jared was sprawled across the couch with Jensen lying between his legs, his back against Jared's chest. Jared's arms were wrapped around his waist, hands resting on his stomach. Jensen hated to destroy the quiet mood, but he needed to tell Jared, and he thought he just might get it all out if he didn't have to look at Jared's face while telling the story.

"Jared?"

"Yeah?"

"About that message..."

"I'm listening," Jared said, squeezing Jensen just a little tighter before scooting down and bringing Jensen even closer to him.

"I feel like I need to start at the beginning," Jensen explained.

"Tell me whatever you want to Jen. It can be everything or just part of it. I just don't want you carrying whatever it is alone."

"Okay," Jensen said slowly as he hesitated. "I've never told anyone, not even Chris." He said softly.

Jared realized just how much Jensen trusted him and loved him to tell him something that someone Jensen viewed as a brother didn't even know. He readied himself for whatever Jensen had to say, knowing he would need to keep his questions until Jensen was finished. He'd learned that peppering Jensen with them when he was telling you something you not only allowed him the opportunity to think about what he was doing but the feelings that were so clearly seen in Jensen's eyes were lost in the stops and starts. Of course with Jensen's back to him he couldn't see his eyes, but if it made Jensen more comfortable then he’d get over it.

Jensen took a deep breath, traveling back five years, recounting Chris' phone call, the trip to the beach, the shark attack and the many hours spent at the hospital with Mark’s mom. Jensen took a moment to steel himself for what he was about to drag into the light. Jared ran his hands up and down Jensen's arms, hoping to will some of his strength into Jensen, wanting to shore up the damage that Jared was sure was about to be revealed. Jared decided a couple of questions would help ground Jensen before he continued, even if he had told himself he’d keep his mouth shut.

"Is that why you always change the channel when it's shark week?" Jared asked, thinking that this was the reason for Jensen's curious quirk.

"Part of it," Jensen acknowledged.

Jared figured he wouldn't be much into watching sharks either if he'd seen one tear a chunk out of somebody and then had the nerve to put himself in the water with it to help someone, thinking that any minute you could be the dessert.

"You feel like telling me the rest?" Jared asked, leaving a soft kiss against Jensen's temple.

"Feel like it?" Jensen's weak chuckled jolted his body. "No, I don't feel like it, but I need to tell you. I've kept it to myself a long time. I thought I'd pushed it down and hidden it away where I'd never have to deal with it again. I thought I was okay with it." Jensen said in one long rush. "But if that were the case, watching the specials shouldn't bother me should it? His voice on my machine shouldn't make me sick to my stomach or cause my heart to try to beat its way out of my chest?"

"Jared will you do me a favor?" Jensen asked, twisting a little, so he could see Jared's face. "Will you promise not to tell Chris? I know you asked him who Kylan was," Jensen put his hand up to stop Jared from trying to explain.

"I'm not mad, well maybe when I first thought about it, I was, but I understand, I really do. If you were upset or hurt, I'd do anything to find out what happened and who did it. I just don't want Chris in jail. You, I can keep an eye on, Chris not so much and Steve's not in the same state to do it for me."

"I'm not going to make a promise I can't keep," Jared responded, "You know how Chris is. I will promise to do my damndest to make sure he knows how upset you'd be if he did something stupid and got hurt in the process, not to mention how guilty it would make you feel. Not that you would have any reason to be, Chris loves you, and he's a big boy he makes his own decisions for good or for bad."

"Yeah, I know how Chris is," Jensen sighed. "Alright but can we at least sugar coat it and hope for the best?"

Jared nodded as he tightened his arms around Jensen, wishing he could never hear about Jensen being hurt.

Jensen leaned back on Jared, breathing deeply and settling into the warmth of Jared's arms.

"We went out for coffee, no big deal, I told him what I had seen, which like I said, wasn't much. I did remember seeing its tail, fin, whatever come out of the water and thinking it was a fucking big shark. He asked me about how big and did I remember anything about the dorsal fin. I told him it looked like the shark had shaken Mark like a dog with a chew toy before they disappeared under the water. Anyway, we talked about the attack for about an hour and I figured you know he'd be getting on with whatever he needed to do, but he kept talking, eventually about regular things like movie, music and books.

When we finally got up to leave, he said he was going to be in town for awhile and wanted to get together. I wasn't seeing anyone, and I was attracted to him, so I figured, hell, why not. We hung out at the beach, went to bars, did all the dating things. Kylan would leave for a few days at a time to investigate an attack, but overall we spent almost nine months together. I never even noticed the change in the relationship. I've never been attracted to possessive, jealous people, and he wasn't like that at the beginning.

Kylan got a little more aggressive, a little more possessive, we'd go to a party, and if I spent more than a minute with anyone, didn't matter if the person was male or female, he'd get an attitude. I tired to smooth things over but it just got easier not to go out, then to start a fight. I found out later he'd been screening my calls, going through my mail, when I realized just how out of hand it had gotten, I cornered his cameraman at the airport. They were checking out a hot spot off of Florida where there had been several accounts of feeding frenzies in the area, and they had just gotten back.

I wanted to know if he was normally like that, or if it was something I'd done to cause him to act the way he had been. I'd never really had a conversation with Terry before, every time I picked Kylan up, he always said Terry had a ride, or Kylan showed up wherever alone, so I wasn't prepared." Jensen took a shuddering breath and snuggled deeper into Jared.

"Weren't prepared for what Jensen?" Jared prompted massaging the tense muscles in Jensen's neck. He'd decided being quiet was not a condition he could mantain for long periods of time.

"Terry was nice. He said that he'd seen it happen time and time again and it made him sick. When I asked him what it was, he told me to give him a minute, so he could get his bags, and we could talk outside, Kylan was trying to locate his bags in the Bermuda Triangle of missing luggage and would be occupied for awhile." Jensen paused.

"Once we got outside he told me he was sorry, that I seemed like a real nice guy, that he hated the way Kylan treated people. I didn't really understand since every time I'd seen Kylan speak to someone he was always polite. Terry said that Kylan and one of his friends liked to make bets. They would email back and forth about the person they had picked out to play with. They had a point system based on the person, you got points for gender, race, sexual experience, you name it, and they had it on the list."

"I couldn't even say anything, I was in shock. Terry said he knew the guy that Kylan bet with had wiped the floor with him on the last bet and Kylan was looking to regain the points lead. Terry also said that apparently something was a little different with me, since he'd never seen Kylan stick around this long. Usually Kylan would get laid, tally his points and gloat but for some reason he seemed to want to keep me on the burner, and the other guy was giving him hell about it. He also told me that Kylan hadn't bothered to stop looking for new mark each time they went to a new area. Terry's cab pulled up, but he told me right before he left that I should be careful, that Kylan didn't like to lose."

"Fucking bastard," Jared said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, it gets better," Jensen stated softly.

"You don't have to tell me, Jen, if you don't want to."

"No, I think you deserve to know why I get a little shifty."

"Alright but if you want to stop, I'm not going to be mad."

"I know Jay."

"So what happened when you saw Kylan?" Jared asked.

"Nothing, well not right away. You know I'm not going to create a great big scene in public. I didn't really want to take him back to my place, and he had a hotel he'd been staying in so I took him there. He kept asking me what was wrong, I lied, of course, told him nothing, that I'd just had a rough day of filming. He kept touching me, putting his hand on my leg or the back of my neck. I thought I was going to puke. Every time he opened his mouth to talk, my skin would crawl."

"When we got to the hotel I confronted him about the bet, he tried to tell me it was just for fun that guys did shit like that. I told him the last time I checked, I was a guy, and I had never bet on getting into somebody pants much less had a fucking points system. He kept telling me it didn't mean anything, and that I was being to sensitive. I asked him how many points he had accumalted while he was gone. He didn't bother to deny it. When I went to leave, he didn't take it to well." Jensen stopped, hoping Jared wouldn't ask him what that meant, but he knew Jared and there was no way that was going to satisfy him.

"What do you mean he didn't take it well?" Jared asked.

"There was a physical altercation?" Jensen answer was more a question.

Jared growled at Jensen's obvious attempts to not answer his question. "What kind of physical altercation Jensen?"

"I had to go to the hospital, can we leave it at that?"

"No, we cannot leave it at that. Tell me what the hell happened." Jared lifted Jensen up and turned him around so that he could see Jensen's face. He knew he'd said Jensen could quit at any time but this was something he needed to know in order to keep Jensen safe.

"We got into a fight. I do know how to fight Jay."

"Yes, I know that. How about you tell me why you had to go to the hospital?"

"Well, we apparently were disturbing the peace. The police showed up and arrested Kylan. Of course he had to make his own trip to the emergency room before they could take him to jail," Jensen gave a sheepish grin.

"Good, now tell me why you had to go," Jared ordered.

"Fine," Jensen sighed heavily. "I had a black eye, busted lip, a concussion, three broken ribs and some bruises."

"Mother fucker!"

"When I went to leave, he hit me in the back of the head with a flashlight. He decided to kick me while I was down, literally, that's how I got the broken ribs.

"He wasn't expecting me to fight back I guess, he seemed slightly shocked when I broke his jaw and shattered his knee. The police tried to get me to file charges, but I was stupid. I thought it was over, that Kylan would just leave since the shit had hit the fan. I was wrong, again.

"He kept showing up everywhere I looked. He managed to make it on the set, I'd see him hanging around my apartment. I finally had to file a restraining order. It didn't stop him though. I found my tires slashed, my apartment was broken into. I changed my phone number four times, but he still found it and called all hours of the day. He never said anything, I could just hear him breathing. My answering machine would be full of nothing but static and breathing. It would have been less stressful if he'd been spewing threats, but to listen to minutes upon minutes of nothing, knowing the person behind it wanted to drive you insane."

"The most disturbing thing though was he acted like nothing had happened. Like we had some minor disagreement and he was trying to win me back, matter of fact he pretty much used those words. It's like he totally disconnected from the reality of what he did and was doing. The more I told him to stop and leave me alone the more determined he was that we would be together."

"I was almost glad when the pilot wasn't picked up. I got a call a month later about the Smallville role, read for it, got hired, and I left. Last time I heard, he was in Australia far, far away from me." Jensen finally ran out of words. "I don't know if I can deal with that shit again Jared. I never left the house, it got to the point where I seriously considered homicide or suicide."

Jared's breath caught in his chest at the thought of never having the opportunity to know Jensen, it left him cold inside and out. He had stayed as quiet as he could through Jensen's story, only pushing when he thought he needed to, and biting his tongue bloody trying not to curse the bastard to hell while Jensen was telling his story. He wasn't sure what it would take but there was no way in hell that Kylan was getting anywhere near Jensen if he decided to show his face.

"I'm sorry," Jensen apologized.

"What are you sorry for?" Jared asked, pulling Jensen into his lap and wrapping himself around him.

Jensen lay his head on Jared's shoulder before answering, "I guess for saddling you with all my shit, not being what you thought I was."

"Jensen you’re exactly what I thought you were. You're kind, and generous. You're so fucking talented it's sickening. You work your ass off even though you could skate by on your looks. You love your family and friends more than you do anything in this world and you love me better than anybody ever has or will. Everybody has baggage Jensen, sometimes it’s the whole ensemble, not just the carry on. If you love somebody, it doesn’t matter, you deal with it together and it makes you stronger. It makes us stronger," Jared finished. He pulled Jensen's face down to his to leave a soft kiss on his lips.


	4. Chapter 4

Jared came awake with a start, his heart still racing from the nightmare he'd been having. Jensen shifted beside him, mumbling what Jared thought was his name. He leaned down, brushing his lips across Jensen's temple and running his fingers through the disheveled light brown hair. He waited until Jensen settled back to sleep before sliding out of the bed and heading for the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and sat at the table, running through the story Jensen had told him earlier. Jared could feel his blood pressure rising and his temper flaring at the thought of Kylan waiting until Jensen's back was turned and hitting him. His mind kept giving him a vivid picture of Jensen on the floor, curled inward, trying to protect himself as Kylan kicked him. That right there was the things his nightmare had been made of.

Jared knew he needed to talk to somebody, and he knew it couldn't be Chris. He had not only promised not to give Chris a reason to do 20 to life, but he honestly needed someone that could calm him down and Chris wouldn't cut it this time. Chad, God love him, would be so far out of his depth with this one Jared had no desire to see him flounder. If it had been Jared that Kylan had done this shit to, Chad would have no problem coming up with a solution. Again, Jared was not ready to see any of their friends pulling hard time for murder.

Jared made the only decision he could at four in the morning. He picked up the phone and called Steve. Once Steve was finally able to pull the cotton out of his head from having only gotten two hours of sleep, the anxiety in Jared's voice woke Steve up quickly. Jared reassured him that no, no one had died or been involved in a fiery car crash or in their case plane crash, and that everything was honestly okay. Which, yeah, maybe Jared was stretching that a bit but at the moment there were no bodies, so he figured he could get away with it.

"So exactly why are you calling me at ass crack of dawn?" Steve asked around a yawn.

"I need to talk to somebody," Jared confessed.

"So go wake up Jenny," Steve said and then paused. "Jared why aren't you waking up Jensen?"

"Have you talked to Chris in the last few days?"

"Yeah, he said something about you calling, and he needed to check on some guy that left a message. Why? What the hell is going on?" Steve demanded.

"Long story short, one of Jensen's exes left a message on his machine. One that Chris didn't know about." Jared said, hoping Steve would get the picture.

"Chris didn't know about him?" Steve questioned again, his voice going low.

"No, and he told me to call him if I found out who he was."

"And you're calling me why?"

"Jensen didn't want me telling Chris."

"Jared, I swear to God, if you don't just tell me I'm going to fucking kill you. I know what Chris was talking about now."

"What do you mean you know what Chris was talking about?"

"I mean getting information out of you is like trying to get blood from a stone. Anybody that has ever talked to you would think that you couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it, but I'm realizing it's your hidden talent. So why don't you tell me why the hell Jensen didn't want Chris to know who this guy is? He did tell you right?" Steve growled.

"Oh," Jared said. "Yes, he talked to me, finally. It took him awhile but he told me tonight. He didn't want me to tell Chris because he didn't want him in jail, awaiting trail for murder," Jared paused, wondering if that was enough information to keep himself off the kill list.

"Jesus Christ," Steve breathed. "How bad is it Jared?"

" It's bad enough that I'm not going to let him out of my sight any time soon."

"Jared," Steve growled.

"Fine, but I promised not to tell Chris anything that would send him into a homicidal rage. However, I didn't say I wouldn't talk to you. Actually, he didn't ask me not to tell you," Jared mused.

"Probably because he figured you were scared of me, or he didn't think you would actually call me instead of Chad," Steve reasoned.

"Well Chad wouldn't get it. He would if it had been me, but with Jensen it's like removed somehow." Jared sighed, running a hand over his eyes. "Anyway, he said he met this guy when he was filming Dawson's, and things didn't end well."

"How did this escape Chris? That boy is worse than a mama if he doesn't hear from Jensen every couple of weeks."

"Um... I think it was when you guys were having marital trouble," Jared snarked.

"We're not married jackass, it's not legal. That makes sense though, Jensen was in a fucked up position then, and we were both whiny bitches," Steve acknowledged. " Well shit." Steve groaned. "Go ahead and tell me, so I can kick myself in the ass and then try to find a way to keep Chris out of the bottle and the handguns once he finds out."

"You want the whole story or the damage?" Jared asked, not sure how to soften the blow.

"Damage? We talking property or personal?"

"Both," Jared spat out, getting worked up the longer he thought about it.

"Fuck, I want to know it all, but right now give me the personal." Steve said, sounding like he'd been eating broken glass.

"Bruises, black eye, concussion, three broken ribs. I'm pretty sure there was more he held out on me too."

"Son of a bitch! I want to know everything, and don't tell Chris. If you have to, give him a full name and how Jensen met him but nothing else, not until I can be there. Better yet, I'll be the one to tell him."

"Okay, should I tell Jensen I told you?"

"That's your call Jared. I can't tell you what to do in your relationship. I know what to do in mine, and it took me long enough to figure that out. I wouldn't even begin to try and tell you how to navigate Jensen."

Jared relayed everything that Jensen had told him. Steve cursed under his breath when Jared told him Jensen had been a bet, but otherwise stayed quiet. Jared finished by explaining the message that Kylan had left on Jensen's answering machine.

"So he's planning on trying to hook back up with Jensen when he comes to town?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, at least that's what he thinks he's going to do. He'll find out otherwise if he shows his face." Jared promised.

"Speaking of face. Do you know what he looks like?" 

"No but I should be able to Google him. If he's been on any documentaries or published any articles then his face has to be on the net."

"It'd be a good idea to see what you can find, at least then you know who to be on the lookout for," Steve suggested. "That is, if he's got the balls to show up."

There was a moment of silence and then Steve laid down the law.

"He will not get near him again. You do what you have to, you tell who you need to, but that bastard better not make it within a 100 yards of Jensen," Steve finished with an intensity he usually saved for his music.

Jared couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine. Not only were Steve's words laced with deadly intent, but the complete and total fury behind them chilled his blood. He understood the meaning behind 'It's always the quiet ones' , and he'd be damned if he didn't believe it.

"Okay," Jared agreed, not even realizing he was nodding his head. He had always thought there was no one as scary as Chris, but he'd just been proven wrong.

"I'll be finishing up here next week. I was going to hang with Chris on the last two weeks of his tour, but I think I'm going to head your way." 

"Won't you have to explain to Chris why you're coming here without him?" Jared questioned. "You know he's going to want to know why?"

"Shit, I could tell him that I just want to make sure ya'll are settling back in okay. I don't think he'd buy it, though. He's going to want to know what's going on. There's no way I'm risking him going on an active search and destroy mission, not without me there to keep lookout. Quite honestly, I wouldn't mind helping him, but I don't think Jensen would appreciate having to hire a lawyer and posting bail."

Jared glanced down at his watch. It was going on five. He needed to wake Jensen up soon the car would be there to pick them up at six. He promised Steve that the only information he would give Chris, and only if he asked, was Kylan's full name. He hoped that Chris would believe that Jensen was still keeping things to himself.

Jared woke Jensen up with coffee and kisses, laughing at the little boy complaining about not wanting to get up. Jared had taken his shower while the coffee was brewing. He knew if they had taken one together, they would be late. As it was, Jensen was just putting on his shoes, and he was feeding the dogs when the car pulled up.

The first hour on the lot was filled with everyone from PA's to gaff's and even some of catering telling them how happy they were that they had made it back in one piece. Production started shortly after ten, makeup had still had a few assorted scrapes and bruises to cover that hadn't completely healed. The day went quick and Eric called a halt at three, not wanting them to overdo it on their first day back. The car dropped them both off at Jared's.

They spent the afternoon running to the grocery store and going over the next day’s scenes. Much to Jared's horror, they were still on the pink nail polish section. They took a break, and Jared went to walk the dogs, he still refused to let Jensen go with him. He said could still hear the congestion in Jensen's head and chest, which was true, but it still pissed Jensen off that he was right. Jensen started supper while Jared was gone and had just sat down in the living room when he heard the back door thump open. Jensen made his way to the kitchen when he heard Jared cursing, something he rarely did, unless he was pissed, drunk or during sex, and since it was neither of the last two that left pissed. 

When he rounded the corner he was stunned, all he could do was stare for a minute, then he just busted out laughing. Jared was standing in the utility room trying to get his jeans off. He was covered from head to toe in mud.

"Shut up, Jensen," Jared growled.

"What happened?" Jensen asked, trying to keep a straight face. He bent down and untied the laces of Jared's tennis shoes, so he could kick them off and free his legs from the prison of wet denim.

"Harley decided it would be really cool to run the opposite way of Sadie, and when I tripped, he thought it was a new game. Took me ten minutes to get out from under him and the leashes untangled," Jared said, scowling at the culprit through the screen door.

Jensen looked over at the dogs. Sadie was sitting there looking between Jared and Harley, an expression of disapproval on her face if Jensen had ever seen one. Harley was laying on his belly, his face resting on his paws. He had the most pathetic look Jensen had ever seen. His eyes were all sad and Jensen was just waiting for him to break into a mournful howl. 

"It's okay, baby," Jensen told him. "Daddy's just grumpy."

"Damn right daddy's grumpy, it's fucking cold out there without being wet and muddy."

He pointed at Harley. "Don't even give me those puppy dog eyes, they don't work on me. See, even Sadie knows you've misbehaved," Jared said, gesturing at her.

She gave a sharp bark before wandering off to the food bowl. "She's telling you that wasn't nice." Jared turned his head and glared at Jensen, who was trying to get the slippery buttons through the tiny holes of Jared's shirt so he could get it open and off.

"And you! We're supposed to have a united front in the presence of the kids. Next thing you know, Sadie will want to go out with that bull dog down the street, and we'll be fighting cause I say no and you said yes," Jared finished in a huff.

Jensen was so stunned by the silliness of the statement all he could do was stand gapping at Jared. When Jared threw his head back laughing, Jensen snorted back a laugh and smacked him on the head.

"You're a dumb ass."

Jared grabbed him around the waist and pulled him into a bear hug.

"Yes, but I'm your dumb ass," Jared said, grinning as Jensen tried to get away from his drenched muddy body.

"Shit Jared, you've got me all dirty!"

Seeing that the humans had better things to do than fuss at him, Harley scurried away while he had the chance.

"Well, we'll just have to take care of that won't we." Jared said, licking a path from Jensen's neck to his ear.

"But supper's cooking," Jensen complained around a groan.

"Turn it off. We can finish it later." Jared ran his fingers just under the waistband of Jensen's jeans and sucked the lobe of his ear into his mouth.

"Okay," Jensen agreed, a little breathless. "Let me get things settled in here, and I'll be right there."

Jared pulled back and gave him a quick kiss. He threw his clothes in the washing machine and hurried to the bathroom.

When Jensen entered the bathroom there was already a thin layer of steam floating in the air and Jared had lit the eucalyptus candles. The candles plus the steam helped to clear the lingering congestion in Jensen's head. He was still a little dizzied by the fact that Jared loved him, but he was never really surprised at Jared's thoughtfulness because he always did little things to make him feel better. Jensen stripped out of his clothes, kicking them to the side, before he opened the door and stepped in. Warm water, moist air and a naked, wet Jared enveloped him.

"Took you long enough," Jared complained.

"I put your clothes on a rinse cycle, figured it'd get some of the mud out before I put anything else in there with them," Jensen said as he leaned back into Jared.

Jared hummed his agreement, but his attention had already shifted from clothes to slick, wet skin. He skimmed his hands along Jensen's ribs, up over his chest, stopping to roll each nipple between his fingers until they were hard and aching. Jared nuzzled at the nape of Jensen's neck until he dropped his head forward, giving Jared and unobstructed path of assault. He nipped across the expanse of neck to shoulder and back again, stopping every few inches to suck the skin into his mouth, marking his path with red, raised patches that would darken to bruises.

Jared retraced each spot, scraping his teeth across tender skin, biting down on some hard enough to leave teeth prints, and in others, just enough to let Jensen feel the pressure, a promise that Jared would continue to mark him if he so chose. He could hear the sounds Jensen was making, the small sighs and the low moans as the intense sensations bombarded Jensen's nerve endings. Jared's hands at his Jensen’s waist kept him steady and still. The hard line of Jared's cock was nestled against Jensen's ass and back.

Jared was intent on driving Jensen insane before he was through. He had decided they were going to go slow and no amount of begging would change his mind. Jensen gasped as Jared ran his tongue around the shell of his ear, dipping inside to trace the maze leading inward. Jensen writhed against him as he continued to slide his tongue in and out, driving Jensen as well as his own desperation even higher. He moaned at the slip slide of Jensen's naked ass against his cock, the pressure in his balls turning painful, but he was determined to make this last, as long as he could.

Jensen's head fell back against his shoulder, lolling against him as if he hadn't the energy to keep it up. Jared loved when Jensen gave up control, trusting him to know what he needed and to give it to him. He snapped the top on the shower gel, squeezing a generous amount onto his hand. He built up a rich lather, running his hands down Jensen's arms and back up, before sliding his hand down over his chest, feeling the muscles flex and jump under his fingers. He counted each rib as he followed the path downward and then over, doing the same on the other side.

Jared's fingers slid over pebbled nubs, pinching them between his finger and thumb, rolling them until Jensen was gasping for breath and keening his desperation. Jared rubbed the pads of his fingers over the tips, continuing to torture the sensitive peaks until Jensen was begging for mercy. He let his hands fall slowly down over the flat planes of Jensen's stomach, slowing at his navel, taking the time to run his finger along the rim, dipping into the indention again and again, the soap making slick, slippery sounds. 

Jared's fingers scraped along the trail of hair leading further down until more hair tickled his knuckles. He wound his fingers around the strands, marveling at the contrasting textures of soft skin and coarse hair. When his hand slipped even lower, Jensen bucked forward, trying to find friction, a whimper escaping him. Jared wrapped his fingers around Jensen's cock, stroking from tip to base and back again, twisting his wrist at the top and sliding back down, scratching his fingernails lightly across the tight, hot, skin. He leaned forward so he could watch over Jensen's shoulder as the tip of Jensen's cock peeked out over his fist, the sight making his blood boil. At the next pull upward, he ran his fingernail over the slit and pressed inward, wrenching a low, guttural groan from Jensen's throat.

Jensen was so completely lost in sensation, he didn’t notice Jared moving around him. Jared had to hold him steady while he shifted to the front and sank to his knees. He poured more gel into his hand and went to work on washing each of Jensen's legs, lingering at the crease of leg and thigh. He let his breath ghost across the swollen shaft bobbing in front of his face as he worked the lather along the backs of Jensen's legs and up over his ass, letting his fingers slip down the inside and lightly rubbing against his hole, Jensen jerked forward before pressing back trying to get Jared to push in.

Jared looked up into eyes so dilated he couldn't even any green at all. He slowly leaned forward and licked the tip of Jensen's cock, letting it slip past his lips just a little to lay heavy on his tongue. He never realized just how much he loved the feel and taste until he had it again. Jared slowly took Jensen all the way down, swirling his tongue along the hard shaft, feeling it jump against the roof of his mouth when he hit a particularly sensitive spot. He hollowed his cheeks and increased the speed of his mouth pushing Jensen closer to the edge, wanting him to lose that control he kept on such a tight leash. Jensen was spewing a steady stream of filth, and Jared was afraid if Jensen didn't come soon, he'd lose his own battle, talking dirty during sex was a sure way to push him over the edge and Jensen knew it.

Jared decided it was time to yank the figurative leash back out of Jensen's hands. He slid one hand down to fondle the heavy sacks between Jensen's legs, getting a sharp jolt of hips forward at the stimulation. His other hand went back to Jensen's entrance, where he started to apply just a little more pressure as he rubbed his finger around the tight, hot knot of flesh. Jared tilted his head just a little more, relaxed his throat, let Jensen slide all the way in and swallowed, as he pushed his finger into Jensen's body past the second knuckle. Jensen's broken cry echoed off the shower tiles, ringing in Jared's ears as he drank down everything Jensen gave him.

Jensen was completely boneless, sagging forward with only Jared's hands on his hips keeping him from pitching onto his face. Jared manhandled him until Jensen turned and had his forehead resting against the tiles, his hands making a valiant effort of trying to keep him up. Jared cupped Jensen's ass in his hands, digging his fingers into the tight flesh and massaging them open until he could see his objective. He ran his tongue from the base of Jensen's spine along the crease and over his hole, flicking his tongue along the tender flesh behind Jensen's balls.

Jensen moaned and shifted his feet further apart, giving Jared a little more room to move. Jared slid back up until his exhales were brushing the base of Jensen's back, he could see the tremors running through the body in front of him and it made his dick throb and more precome dribble down his shaft. He ran his tongue along Jensen's spine, starting midway down his back until he stopped just before the base of Jensen's spine, and sucked on the skin there, getting just a tiny bit between his teeth, worrying it over and over. Jensen almost snapped his spine in two, where he had arched backward so violently. 

Jared kept the pressure on that spot for another few seconds while Jensen pleaded with him to keep going and stop all in the same breath. He slid down, pressing his thumbs on either side of Jensen's hole, opening him up and sliding his tongue in and out. Jared ran his tongue around the edges, just barely dipping in and then dragging it back around the outside, until he finally got down to business and started a serious tongue fucking. Jensen was completely hard again and trying to get some kind of friction from the slick tiles.

Jared pushed a finger in along side his tongue, making sure to find Jensen's prostate and hitting it each time he pushed. When his tongue finally started to feel the strain, he pulled back and slid two fingers in, scissoring them to loosen the tight muscle. Jared reached up on the shelf and grabbed the waterproof lube, let it not be said that he wasn't prepared, and coated his fingers, he pressed his forehead to the base of Jensen's back and watched as three of his fingers slide slowly into Jensen's body. He felt Jensen's groan vibrate through him before the sound reached his ears.

Jared took his time making sure Jensen was ready, getting lost in the hypnotizing sight of his fingers sliding in and out of the red, stretched opening, the way the flesh pushed in and then puffed out when he drew his fingers back. When he was sure he wouldn't hurt Jensen, he stood up, draping himself across Jensen's back, letting his cock rest against the stretched opening. Jared ran his hands around Jensen's waist and down over the front of his thighs, pulling them further apart and back until he was impaled on Jared's cock.

Jared kept the slow, steady push forward until he was buried completely, their bodies joined so fully it was like becoming one person. Jensen's breath hitched as Jared started the long, slow withdrawal, skin dragging against sensitive nerve endings, setting both of them on a fast burn. Jared pushed back in just as slow, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep the slow pace for long, but determined to make it last just a little longer. Jensen had obviously taken it as long as he intended to because he became active in trying to push his body back, seeking the  
fasterharderdeeper his mouth had been begging for, for what seemed and eternity now.

Jared finally complied, setting a punishing pace, he lifted up on one of Jensen's legs, propping it on the shower seat to give him a different angle. It must have been the right one because Jensen jolted like he been shot through with electricity, the cry wrenched from his throat sounding almost animalistic. Jared kept his thrusts angled right there, pounding into Jensen like he could mark him from the inside out. Jared reached around, pulling Jensen even closer, rolling his hips and grinding down on each thrust, making sure he kept the pressure on Jensen's prostate. It only took a couple of minutes and Jensen was pumping white hot against the black tiles of the shower, his cock never being touched.

The pressure surrounding Jared's dick increased two fold as Jensen came, clamping down like a vise until he couldn't hold out anymore and came with soul shattering intensity. His hips continued to move in short, shallow thrusts as he worked Jensen and himself through the aftershocks. Even in Jared's lethargic state, he could feel the water temperature changing, and he didn't want Jensen standing under cold water to clean up, especially with the cold he was already battling. He pulled back carefully, easing himself from Jensen's body and making quick work of their cleanup. Jared pulled him out of the shower and dried them both off, Jensen standing pliant and almost catatonic in his exhaustion. Jared tucked Jensen in and slid in behind him, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in the space between Jensen's shoulder blades.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Two weeks later*

 

Jared had risked Jensen's wrath, if he ever found out, and had taken a picture he had pulled off Google to Eric the day after he talked to Steve. He didn't go into much detail, not only wanting to keep Jensen's confidence, but also trying to keep the fallout if Jensen found out to just the regular run of the mill bomb versus the atomic bomb. He explained to Eric that Jensen had some problems with the guy stalking him in the past and there had been a reliable threat that he was would be in town and wanting to see Jensen. Eric didn't question why it was Jared telling him and not Jensen, but he seemed a little shocked when Jared asked that everything be done quietly and not let Jensen know. Jared just shook his head and told him it was way better if Eric didn't know, less chance for him to catch hell.

When Jared pulled the picture of Kylan up for the first time, he felt like he had his breath stolen. The guy was drop dead gorgeous, not in Jensen's league by no means, but Jared felt like a gangly teenager next to the image of Kylan. Jared also saw something in those eyes that raised goose bumps on his arms. It was like looking at the sharks he studied, eyes that saw everything but didn't feel a thing. Jared reaffirm Steve's stance. This guy wasn't getting near Jensen again.

Jared had confided in Mike and Tom as well, making sure they both knew to keep it quiet. Tom was a little worried about the deceit aspect, but he understood Jared was just trying to keep the stress off of Jensen. They weren't even sure if the guy would show up so he figured extra caution couldn't hurt and Jensen could be oblivious to the extra help unless something happened. Mike was harder to convince, he had no problem looking out for the guy, but he wanted to know why. Mike had guessed the stalking thing may be part of it but that wasn't the worst of whatever had happened. Jared was shocked that of all the people he had thought would catch on it wasn't Mike, not that Mike wasn't smart, cause he was, it was just that Mike tended to be in his own world most of the time. That was what Jared had always thought anyway. He figured he need to take another look at his observations and redefine what he thought he knew.

Jensen stayed at Jared's house every night and only went home to pick up clean clothes. Jared had started dropping hints about Jensen moving in with him and he didn't know if they were being ignored or if Jensen was just being seriously obtuse. Either way, Jared was going to have a sit down discussion about it in the near future. It didn't make any sense for them to be paying for two houses and only using one. He knew it didn't have anything to do with them keeping their relationship quiet because they weren't doing anything special to keep it under wraps. As a matter of fact, Jensen was more likely to grab his hand in public than not. Jared was just happy he felt that secure enough in their relationship to chance the public displays, and lets face it, Jared had never had a problem with public displays.

Jensen hadn't said anything else about Kylan, and was so relaxed when they were together Jared couldn't bring it up. He didn't want to see the look on Jensen's face that he'd seen when the message played ever again and he didn't want to let Kylan taint the time they spent together so he didn't mention him. Jared knew Jensen had left out some details, he honestly didn't think it had anything to do with trust. He had a feeling it had more to do with Jensen trying to protect him, and he knew a thing or two about protecting someone he loved. He just hoped Jensen would see it the same way if he found out.

Jared was positive he had seen the bastard a couple times around town, but when nothing happened and no contact with Jensen was ever made, he thought he may have been just a tad paranoid. As it was, Jared had been dodging Mike's attempts at clarification and trying to find time to talk to Jensen about moving in. They finally got a chance two days later when the production called for total rewrites on an episode that mirrored an actual tragedy taking place in the news.

Jensen was apparently being obtuse because he not only appeared shocked when Jared asked why he didn't want to move in but he thought it was a good idea. Jared felt a little cheated, he had gotten himself all ready for a fight, and then he didn't even get one. It was like someone stuck a pin in a balloon and deflated it. That lasted all of about ten seconds when he was able to comprehend the reality of Jensen would be here with him, in his house. Oops...their house and damn if that didn't make him giddy as hell.

Since they didn't have to go to work the next three days, they decided to go out with Mike and Tom that night and then work on moving some of Jensen's stuff over the weekend. Jensen and Tom had hit the pool table a little while after they got there and Jared was set to follow when Mike reached across the table and grabbed Jared's arm, causing him to fall back into the seat.

"Hey, I was going to go watch," Jared complained.

"Yeah, was being the operative word. Now tell me what the hell is going on," Mike hissed under his breath.

"Fine, but I swear to God if you say anything, and I do mean anything, you're going to see if it's anatomically possible for me to put my foot up your ass," Jared hissed back.

"Now Jared, all I did was ask for some information, no need to get kinky," Mike grinned, slipping back into the Mike everyone knew.

Jared had to blink a couple of times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. But he caught the very feral edge to Mike's grin. What the hell was up with all the personality changes around him lately?

"Jensen dated this guy, he wasn't very nice. He apparently got interested again with all the news about the plane crash and shit, and he wants to make a play date," Jared said, trying to brush it off as no big deal and him just being paranoid.

"Hmm, you really don't lie worth a shit. How about you give me the whole novel and not just the footnotes," Mike replied, leaning back and taking a large swallow of beer.

Jared glanced over at the pool table. Jensen was engrossed in the game, and it didn't look like it would be over anytime soon, seeing as there was money on the corner. He swore sometimes Jensen brought Dean home with him.

"I was serious about kicking your ass so keep it to yourself. Jensen helped a kid that got attacked by a shark, this guy shows up to talk to them. They hit it off and start seeing each other. Jensen found out the guy was an ass. That he had been a bet, and it was running theme with this guy and his friend." Jared paused and took a couple of swallows of beer. "Once they started going out he started changing. Getting possessive, not wanting Jensen to hang out with anyone." 

"So why does this guy think that Jensen would see him? There's no way our boy would take that shit," Mike asked, narrowing his eyes.

"The guy is fucking psychotic is why. When Jensen told him to get lost, he knocked Jen over the head and beat the shit out of him, and if that weren't enough, he started stalking Jensen," Jared said, leaning back in his seat and trying to relax just in case Jensen was looking.

"Let me get this straight. This jerk makes a bet about getting in Jensen's pants, beats him up, stalks him, and then wants to see him again?" Mike asked.

"Pretty much,"

"Okay, when you say beat him up, what do you mean exactly and how long ago was this?"

"Five years, and according to Jensen, which I still think who I still thing is not telling me everything, we're talking cracked ribs, and concussion," Jared said, waving the waitress over.

Once the waitress had taken their orders and left, Jared focused on the thoughtful expression on Mike's face.

"Five years would have put it right before Jensen started Smallville, wouldn't it?"

"Yea, he was able to put some distance between them when he got that role," Jared agreed.

"You know, I always thought there was something wrong when he first hit the set, but none of us knew him, so I didn't have anything to base my opinion on. He was really quiet, which hell, he's that anyway, but more so than what I'd term as normal for him now. He didn't hang out with anyone for a couple of months when he started either." Mike glanced over to where Tom and Jensen were finishing up their game.

"He probably didn't want anyone getting hurt. I'm sure he didn't know what Kylan was going to do next. When he found out the guy had left the country he was able to relax and start interacting with everybody."

"Hmmm, makes sense. The boy does have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility," Mike concluded. "So have you seen this guy around?"

"Thought I caught a couple of peeks at him a week or so ago, but nothing's happened so I don't know if it was him, or I'm just being paranoid as hell."

"Well it's better to be safe than sorry," Mike said.

"What's better to be safe than sorry?" Jensen said as he slid in next to Jared.

"Oh, I was telling Jared all about the man pill," Mike dead panned. "You know with you boys finally getting your heads out your asses and using them for something else we wouldn't want any unplanned pregnancies."

Jensen choked on the swallow of beer, he had just taken, and Jared proceeded to beat him in the back, while Tom giggled uncontrollably. By the time everyone had settled down, Mike had managed to redirect attention in a total different direction. Sometimes Jared was positive that Mike was an evil genius. No wonder they picked him to play Lex.

It had been a long night out, enjoying the time with their friends and each other, so it was later in the day when they made it to Jensen's to start packing. They stopped by a moving company and purchased several boxes, and dropped the dogs off with Tom since he was going to the park with his own dog. Jared had wanted to drive one vehicle but Jensen wanted to get as much done at a time as possible, so they he had finally given up and they drove both. They spent several hours packing, and moving them to Jensen's truck and Jared's SUV before they called it a day.

Jensen had sent Jared on ahead so he could pick up the dogs, and they wouldn't have to make a second trip out late tonight. He was making one last walk through to determine what they needed to finish up before the cleaners came in when he heard the door open and shut in the living room.

"What did you forget?" Jensen asked as he walked around the corner to see if he could help.

"Hello Jenny. It's been a long time," Kylan's lyrical accent floated through the air.


	5. Chapter 5

Jensen hadn't given a second thought to sending Jared ahead. It had been almost a month since Kylan left the message on his machine and nothing had happened. He kept expecting more calls, flat tires or to be ambushed by a visit. It had been so quiet Jensen had almost convinced himself Kylan forgot about him. All that was swept away at the first syllable floating through the air. As he rounded the corner the sight and sound of the man standing there had him freezing in his tracks.

"Hello Jenny,"

"Kylan, what are you doing here?" Jensen asked, willing his heart not to beat out of his chest.

"Now Jenny, is that any way to treat me when we've been separated for so long?" Kylan purred, taking a step closer.

"Since I was hoping to never see you again... I think it's a pretty fair question. Especially considering all the shit you put me through. And stop calling me Jenny!"

Jensen stood his ground, refusing to be cowed. He shoved his hand in the pocket that held his cell phone, trying to decide if he should make the attempt to call someone. He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt it vibrated against his fingers and leg.

"It's rude to not answer someone's call baby," Kylan said as he advanced another couple of steps.

Jensen let loose a silent fuck, leave it to the bastard to see everything. Jensen pulled his cell out and looked at the display. Jared's number flashed back at him. He shoved it back in his pocket without answering. There was no way he was talking to Jared with Kylan fifteen feet away from him.

"Don't call me baby either," Jensen growled. "You gave up that right with you lying to me, not to mention cheating, stalking and assault."

Jensen could see the annoyance tighten Kylan's face and anger darken his eyes. Jensen prepared for either a verbal or physical attack, he was confused when Kylan's stance relaxed and a grin spread across his face. 

"Come on Jenny, you know that was just a misunderstanding. You were leaving and we hadn't finished our talk. You know how much I dislike it when you don't listen," Kylan scolded quietly.

"I'm well aware of what you did and didn't like since you made it a point to tell me often. The point is, it doesn't matter what you don't like any more. We've been finished for more than five years now. Don't you have some other poor sap's life to make a living hell?" Jensen asked, his stress fueling his anger, sending it burning through his veins.

Kylan's face hardened with anger once again, and he closed the distance between them so quickly it caught Jensen by surprise. He'd be damned if he was backing down though. He wasn't going to live the way he had the last few months he'd been in Wilmington. He was a few years older and a whole lot wiser than he had been back then.

"Back the fuck off or you're going to get more than your jaw broke this time," Jensen growled.

"Oh, you broke more than my jaw last time didn't you, baby? Did you forget about my knee? Then there's the matter of my heart. You know, bones heal so much faster than heartache," Kylan responded, only a foot separating them now.

"Heart!" Jensen scoffed. "What heart? The only thing you were interested in was getting me in your bed. If anything was damaged, it was your ego not your fucking heart," Jensen snarled, refusing to give an inch.

He wasn't going to take the first swing, and have his damn face and name plastered across tabloids for assault or, even better, domestic disturbance. However, he was more than willing to throw the last one. He didn't think Kylan was packing more than hot air at the moment, but he'd been caught with his pants down last time, and he had no intentions of having a repeat performance.

"Not true, Jenny. You were different, but I didn't take the time to make sure you knew your place. I'll have to make sure I do that properly this time," Kylan stated matter of factly.

"My place? What the hell are you talking about, my place?" Jensen asked, astonished. He knew Kylan lived in his own warped world, but this was more than even he had expected.

"Which part of _we do not have a relationship_ do you not understand? I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to see you. I'd be happy to never even think about you again." Jensen finished breathing heavy with frustration.

Kylan closed the remaining distance, leaning forward so he was close to Jensen's ear without touching him.

"It doesn't matter what you want. It never has," Kylan whispered.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared left the apartment without it crossing his mind that it was a bad idea, but the further away he got from Jensen, the deeper the dread pooled in the pit of his stomach. There hadn't been any concrete sightings of Kylan, no more phone messages, but something just didn't feel right. He argued with himself for another five minutes before he took his phone out and dialed Jensen. He told himself it was to ask if Jensen wanted something to eat, but he knew it wasn't true. He couldn't relax until he heard Jensen's voice.

When the phone continued to ring with no answer, the more anxious Jared became. He left a message on Jensen's voicemail asking him to call, and hung up. Swinging the truck in a U-turn at the first spot he could find, he tried calling again, praying this time Jensen would answer and Jared could laugh at his paranoia. His stomach clenched when the call was forwarded to voice mail again. He was at only fifteen minutes away but it felt like hours.

Jared picked his phone back up, hoping Tom was home because lived less than ten minutes from Jensen. It wasn't much difference but he had a feeling every minute counted.

"Where are you?" Jared asked before anyone could say hello.

"Well, hello to you too Jared?" Mike's voice came back in answer.

Jared didn't even ask why he was answering Tom's phone. He just growled out another question. "Michael where the hell are ya'll?"

"We're at the studio, they called us in to do some promo shit. What's wrong?" Mike asked, confused.

"Jensen's not answering his phone."

"Okay, and you’re worried why?"

"Because I left him at his old place alone, damn it, and now he's not answering," Jared explained, running a red light, ignoring the angry blare of horns.

"How far away are you right now?" Michael asked.

"About eight minutes out," Jared said although he wasn't sure his answer was heard over Mike yelling at Tom to get his attention.

"Okay, calm down. It's not going to do Jensen one bit of good if you get flattened before you get there. Me and Tom are on our way over now, you're still closer though. It's probably nothing, but we'll be there just in case," Mike reassured.

Jared could hear Tom asking what the hell was going on in the background, to which Mike told him to get his ass of steel in the car, and he'd explain on the way, before the call was disconnected. He really hoped that he was being paranoid, that there was nothing wrong other than Jensen not having his phone on him, but the acid churning in his stomach and the fear ratcheting his heart rate into overdrive didn't seem to share the opinion. Neither did the helpful little voice parroting that Jensen always had his phone on him, and it was always charged, another little quirk Jared had learned about Jensen the first few nights Jensen had spent at his house. 

He tried to call one more time, listening to it ring until he wanted to just throw the phone out the window. Jared hung up when it went to voicemail, slinging it onto the seat instead. His grip on the steering wheel was so tight, his knuckles turned white and the plastic creaked, but none of it pierced Jared's single minded focus of getting back to Jensen. Images of every bruise, scrape, and broken bone Jensen described, plus a few he was sure had been left out, flashed past his eyes, sending his foot to the floor and the truck rocketing faster down the road.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen reared back, trying to put some distance between him and the man who had haunted his nightmares for way too long, his heart beating triple time.

"That's where you're wrong. It is about what I want, and I don't want anything to do with you." Jensen said through gritted teeth.

"Jenny, you know that's not true. You know I'm the only one who can give you what you need," Kylan purred running a finger down Jensen's arm. 

Jensen shuddered with revolution, his stomach rebelling, threatening to bring up his lunch. He clinched his jaw, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"Kylan you have absolutely no clue what I need, because if you did, you wouldn't still be here."

Kylan straightened up slowly, hands fisting in anger.

"You're starting to make me very angry Jensen. I don't want our very first day to start out with me having to punish you, but you keep pushing, baby, and I'm going to do what's necessary." Kylan's voice, deceptively calm and quiet, washed over Jensen, fraying his nerves even further.

Jensen was tired of talking, it wasn't going to do any good. He stepped around Kylan making for the door, but Kylan reached out and grabbed his wrist in a bruising grip. Jensen tried to yank his arm back but Kylan just tightened his hold.

"Let me go Kylan," Jensen growled.

"Or what? You going to break my jaw again, maybe try for the other knee?" Kylan taunted.

"I'm sure that's exactly what he'd do," Jared said appearing in the doorway. "But I wouldn't mind helping him if he felt like sharing," Jared finished moving further into the room. 

Jensen stood gaping at Jared, the man was supposed to be clear across town picking up the dogs not towering behind Kylan. Jensen hadn't even heard the truck pull up outside.

Kylan gave one last brutal squeeze before releasing Jensen's wrist. He turned slowly to the side, not quite putting his back to Jensen but enough that Jensen was aware he had been dismissed as a threat, which just pissed him the fuck off.

"I really don't think this is any of your business. It's between my boyfriend and myself," Kylan said. 

Jared's eyebrows shot up so far, Jensen was wondering if they wouldn't get stuck up there.

"Really?" Jared asked in a sarcastic tone. "Because I was under the impression Jensen got rid of your sorry ass five years ago, and since he's living with me, I would have noticed you hanging around," Jared crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for the explosion he could see working it's way over Kylan's face. He flicked his gaze over to Jensen who was shaking his head furiously. Jared ignored the thundercloud that was his boyfriend and looked back at Kylan.

"I see you haven't trained him very well," Kylan goaded.

"That would be because he's not a pet," Jared growled.

"Oh, but that's exactly what he is, a pretty, pretty pet." Kylan smiled a slow sadistic smile as he turned his attention back to Jensen.

"See, he doesn't know what you need does he baby? That's why you have me," Kylan said, reaching out to touch Jensen's face.

Jensen moved his head back far enough that Kylan's gesture fell short. He caught Jared's advance from the corner of his eye, the rage pouring off Jared was unmistakable. Jared stopped just short of Kylan's personal space but close enough to make Kylan think twice about trying to touch Jensen again. The silence that proceeded was so tense Jensen could feel the weight pressing down on him, making it hard to breath.

"Hey guys! Heard you needed a hand moving," Mike said loudly, coming through the door with Tom close behind.

Everyone jerked around at the interruption. Jared smiled while Jensen stood gaping at the unexpected calvary, and Kylan's face and body language morphed into a stance of casual nonchalance.

"Well, Jenny, I'll let you get back to moving," Kylan said, turning back to look at Jensen. "I'll be seeing you around," he promised, his tone making it clear he would make it as unpleasant as possible.

With one last glare, he turned and walked past Jared, making sure he was close enough that their sleeves brushed, before wishing Tom and Mike a pleasant day.

Jensen's shoulders slumped. It was as if he had worked twenty four hours straight and his body was telling him it was time to stop. His legs were like jelly, his arms and neck throbbed in harmony with the pain lancing through his head, his eyes felt like they were weighed down, and he was breathing through a wet wash cloth. Jensen felt the earth tilt and the walls sway. He reached out to steady himself but all he caught was air, as darkness closed in and everything fell away.

Jared watched Kylan swagger out the door with his teeth clenched and his fists itching to hit something. Tom followed Kylan out to make sure he actually left and didn't do any damage on his way, or no more than he had already managed before they got there. So when Mike's face turned white, and he shouted Jensen's name, it took Jared a few seconds to process before he was whipping back around. He had just enough time to get his arms wrapped around Jensen's chest to keep him from slamming his head on the end table as he went down.

Jared slowly lowered Jensen the rest of the way to the floor while Mike grabbed a pillow off the couch.

"Son of a bitch! Jensen wake up man, don't do this shit to me again," Jared rasped, lightly tapping Jensen's check trying to rouse him.

Jared could feel the heat rolling off Jensen's body, and it scared the shit out of him. He pushed Jensen's hair off his forehead, leaving his hand to test how hot the fever was just like his mama used to do to him. Jensen was burning up, and now that Jared was closer he could see the fine sheen of sweat beaded across his skin. 

"Mike, get Tom back in here. I'm going to need his help getting Jensen in the car. Can you drive?"

"Yeah, no problem. I'l go get him," Mike said, rushing out the door.

Jared wasn't sure what emotion was stronger, fear or anger. He was pissed at Jensen, because there was no way he hadn't been feeling like shit for a while now, and he never said anything. He was pissed at himself for not noticing, and furious with Kylan for showing up and harassing Jensen, obviously using up what little reserve of strength Jensen had been functioning under. Jared knew Jensen hadn't been able to kick the cold that had been dragging him over the last several weeks, and he was terrified Jensen had pushed himself too far this time.

They had filmed four times in the rain over the last couple of weeks and Jensen had been coughing more and more lately, especially at night. Jared had woken up several nights alone, finding Jensen on the couch, huddled under blankets, trying to stifle the coughing. When he suggested going to the doctor, Jensen said it was getting better, he just didn't want to keep Jared up when he couldn't sleep. Jared hadn't really believed him. Jensen was a grown adult, and he couldn't force him to go to the doctor, but damned if he wouldn't use the guilt card after this. He sat in the back seat with Jensen's head against his chest, running his hand through Jensen's hair. The strands were soaked with sweat, but it soothed Jared to be able to stroke through them.

"How's he doing?" Tom asked, turning to look at them as much as the seat belt would allow.

"Still not awake and I swear he's putting off heat like the sun. How much further Mike?" Jared asked.

"Another ten miles, I'll have us there in five though," Mike answered.

Usually Jared refused to ride with Mike for just that reason, but with Jensen unconscious in his lap, he would have been happy with quicker.

Tom called ahead and there were attendants waiting at the door with a stretcher when Mike screeched to a halt. Jared helped them gently place Jensen on the bed, and walked beside it until they reached the doors that would separate them. The orderlies disappeared with Jensen, and the doors snicked shut, locking him on the outside, leaving him blinking blankly ahead.

Mike pulled him into the waiting room while Tom took the paperwork from the nurse at the desk. Tom handed it to Jared who promptly dropped it, his hands were shaking so badly he finally sat on them just to try and still them. Tom filled in as much information as he knew, asking Jared for the one's, he didn't. When he finished, he took the paperwork, Jared's insurance card, and the power of attorney card to the desk. He smiled at the lady’s startled expression. Not sure the guys wanted their relationship to get out, he explained that Jensen's family lived in the states and his job could sometimes be dangerous so it was a precaution that was normally used.

"Has he been sick?" Mike asked Jared quietly as Tom took a seat beside him.

"Yeah, just a cold. He's been coughing a good bit at night though." Jared sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"He's going to be okay. You know that right?" Tom reassured.

"He better be," Jared said quietly, standing up to pace.

He spent thirty minutes chewing his fingernails before he even thought about calling Eric. When he hung up a few minutes later, he had instructions to call as soon as he knew something. Eric wasn't happy that they were again at a stand still but he was certain that would happen any day now with the writers strike hovering over everyone's head. He was more upset with Jensen for not telling anyone he was sick and putting himself at risk, and that was something which Jared could agree with him 100%

A nurse appeared a few minutes later and escorted them to a private waiting area. Their presence, while not disruptive, was getting a fair amount of attention from the others in the waiting room. No one had approached them, but the hospital suits felt it was better for everyone to keep things as low profile as possible, something Jared knew Jensen would appreciate. Two hours later the door opened and a doctor walked in asking for Jared. Mike and Tom excused themselves, promising to return with coffee, to give them some privacy.

"Mr. Padalecki, my name is Dr. Patterson. I'm Mr. Ackles’ attending physician," the man said, holding out his hand.

Jared shook it and waited as patiently as he could for the doctor to get on with it.

"Can you tell me what happened and how long Mr. Ackles has been sick?" the doctor asked, sitting down in one of the chairs.

Jared followed his lead, falling back into one like his strings had been cut. He sighed again, feeling the weight of guilt pressing down on him.

"He's been sick for several weeks, but it seemed to be just a cold. Jensen said he was getting better, but he couldn't seem to shake it. The cough was the worst part, it kept him up at night, but he wouldn't go see a doctor. We had that accident, so we've just gotten back into filming full time, and on top of that he's moving so we were loading boxes all day. He was just standing there one minute and the next he was collapsing."

"By accident you mean the plane crash correct?" Dr. Patterson asked, making notes on his chart.

"Yeah, Jensen hurt his ankle, and we had to walk several miles in the snow to find somewhere to wait out the storm," Jared explained.

"Yes, that's probably why he couldn't fight the cold off, his immune system was already compromised. Did he hit anything when he fell? His head or his arm?"

Jared thought about it for a minute, replayed the sequence of events leading up to, during and after Jensen passed out. 

"No, I caught him as he was going down. I was afraid he'd hit his head on the end table, but I got there before he could. Why? What's wrong?" Jared asked, his voice rising with his concern.

"Let me ask you one more thing, and then I'll tell you what's going on," the doctor said instead of answering.

Dr. Patterson waited for the other man's assent, paying close attention to his body language. "Can you tell me about the bruising around Mr. Ackles’ wrist?"

The doctor watched the young man tense and anger darken his face, as large as he was, the doctor didn't feel threatened. He could tell the anger wasn't about the question but about the injury itself.

"This is between us right? You can't say anything to anyone without Jensen's permission?" Jared asked, pinning the doctor with an intense look.

"Of course, as long as it's not something I feel I need to report. My patient’s health is my first priority though," Dr. Patterson responded.

Jared relaxed, he could understand that, anyone taking care of Jensen was someone Jared could appreciate. He realized the doctor had been making sure he wasn't the one that had hurt Jensen. Instead of being offended, it actually made him feel better to know other people were keeping Jensen safe.

"Oh, I can tell you how he got it, that's why I wanted to make sure this wasn't going to go any further. The guy that did that was one of Jensen's exes, a total psychotic freak," Jared spat out.

"I think this should be reported, there's some serious bruising to that wrist. I can see individual fingers all the way around. That requires a good bit of pressure and intent to injure."

"I think it should be too, but it's not my call to make. The last run in Jensen had with him put him in the hospital, that was five years ago. Jensen had a restraining order, but it didn't do any good, so I'm not sure how much it would do now." Jared said. His restraint had finally run out and in typical hyperactive verbal fashion, he hit the doctor full force.

"What's wrong with him? Is he okay? Can I see him? Can I take him home tonight?"

Jared knew he was on a roll but couldn't seem to shut up once he started.

The doctor smiled at the rapid fire questions that had suddenly started pouring from Jared's mouth.

"He'll be fine, it's going to take a little while, but he'll make a full recovery. He's managed to run himself into the ground which has resulted in walking pneumonia and bronchitis. We have him hooked up to antibiotics for the bronchitis, steroids to try help clear up his lungs and fluids for the dehydration, which was a large part of why he passed out. The body can deal with a vast amount of things, but dehydration will put you on your ass in a heartbeat."

Jared just stared at the doctor, flabbergasted by the extent of Jensen's illness. He couldn't fathom how Jensen had kept just how badly he'd been feeling to himself, but then again the man was an actor, and an amazing one at that. Jared tried not to feel guilty as hell, but between Jensen being sick and leaving him for Kylan to get to, he knew it was a lost cause.

"I still want to report that bruising as an assault but we'll see what we can do when Mr. Ackles is in better shape. I'd like to take some pictures to document it while we wait, if you'll sign the paperwork."

"Oh God, stop calling him that. I think you're talking about his dad. If he hears you he'll freak out, he just had a birthday, and I've been fielding the, I'm old comments," Jared complained. "Oh yeah, I'll sign the paperwork, between the two of us maybe one of us can get through to him. I have the guilt card I can play now too."

"Excuse me?" The doctor asked confused.

"He scared the shit out of me, if I have to guilt him into doing something to keep him safe, then I will. I'm going to use every trick I know to keep him that way," Jared stated. "So when can I see him?"

"Give the nurses another fifteen minutes to get him settled in, and I'll get you in there. I'd prefer you to be there when we take the pictures of that wrist anyway, since he's not woken up yet."

"Is that normal? The not waking up part?" Jared asked, fear hitting him in the gut again.

"Well, we always want our patients conscious, but in his case with the high fever it's his body’s way of trying to fix itself. It shuts down non essential functions in order to reroute power to the problem areas. With the medicine and some rest, he should be waking up in the next few hours. I'm not going to tell you to not worry, because I know that would be wasting my breath, but once the medicine has time to start doing it's job you should see a big improvement."

"When can he go home? I'm not asking for me, I think he needs to stay as long as it takes but he's not going to see it that way. He'll ask within the first ten minutes, if it takes him that long." Jared explained.

"I want him here for the next 48 hours at least. I want to make sure he's fully hydrated and the antibiotics are working. That way if they aren't, I can change the dosage or the type all together. Would you like me to have security set a guard outside?" Dr. Patterson asked.

"Jensen would freak out if we did that. If it's okay, I'd like me or one of our friends here while he is. He won't be happy about it, but he'll accept it a damn sight faster than having a guard."

"That shouldn't be a problem. I'll just let the staff know," the doctor looked down at his watch. "Well it's been about twenty minutes I think it'd be safe to take you up to his room."

Jared breathed a sigh of relief, coming out of the chair so fast it banged against the wall. He didn't think twice about it, the lure of seeing Jensen too great for even his mama's lessons in manners. Jared felt sure the doctor was going to ask him to back off since he was practically attached to the man like a leech, but he never said a thing just led him down the twisting corridors to the room Jensen was in. Jared made a mental note not to go anywhere without some form of string, there was no way in hell, he'd ever find his way back.

When they arrived at the third floor, the doctor stopped at the nurses station, he asked if his patient was settled and then explained that either Jared or one of their friends would be with Mr. Ackles at all times. The nurses seemed a little confused but just made notations on their charts and told the doctor that Mr. Ackles still had not regained consciousness. He was, however, resting comfortably. The fever was holding 104.7 but it hadn't gone any higher so they were taking that as a good sign.

Dr. Patterson stopped at the door and warned him that Jensen was hooked up to several lines, all of which were necessary in Jensen's treatment, but not to let them worry him. The doctor told him not to be afraid to touch Jensen, that he couldn't hurt him, and said that he felt patients could not only hear what was going on at times, but would know a touch from those they loved. He, of course, said this was in no way scientific but neither were miracles. He pushed the door open for Jared to walk through and closed it softly behind him, leaving Jared alone with Jensen for the first time since arriving at the hospital.

Jared couldn't believe just how much difference a few hours could make. Jensen had lines running to the tops of his hands, a blood pressure cuff wrapped around his arm, the little tube thingy that went in your nose for oxygen that he could never remember the name to, but the lines running to the little pads attached to his chest was what brought Jared to a screeching halt. He was sure if it was something major the doctor would have told him, but it still worried the hell out of him. 

Jared pulled the chair as close to the bed as he could get it and lowered the rail, so he could reach Jensen. He ran his hand lightly up Jensen's arm and then back down again, reacquainting himself with the feel of Jensen's body, even if it was a small portion of it. Jared gently wrapped Jensen's hand in his, careful not to put pressure on the IV, and he brought it up to his lips, kissing gently across knuckles and over the bruised skin of Jensen's wrist. Jared let the feel of Jensen under his lips and hands ground him. He took a deep breath to steady his voice and his nerves.

"I swear man, you're going to be the death of me. You can't do anything half ass can you?" Jared said quietly.

He leaned forward in his chair, so he could push the hair off Jensen's forehead, and ran his hand over Jensen's cheek, letting the stubble scrape against his palm.

"The doctor says you're going to be okay, you just need to rest, but it'd be nice if you woke up for just a minute, so I could tell you how much I love you," Jared confessed.

Twenty minutes later the door opened and Mike stuck his head in.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, where did you go?" Jared asked quietly.

"I took Tom home, so he could walk the dogs and get his own car. I ran back by Jensen's and locked everything up," Mike explained.

"Thanks," Jared said, turning back to watch Jensen. "He hasn't woken up yet."

"He will," Mike said with complete conviction.

"How can you be so sure things will be okay?" Jared asked.

He needed someone to remind him sometimes, and that was usually Jensen's job. Whenever he’d had a rough day on the set, or something was just not working the way it should, when he felt insecure about his ability to do anything right, Jensen was always there to hold and support him. With Jensen out of commission, it just drove home how much he depended on the man. Their relationship had developed just as quickly as their friendship had, and the bond they shared was an extraordinary melding of love, support and fierce loyalty.

"Has Jensen ever let you down?" Mike asked.

"No, you know he hasn't," Jared answered, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Well, he's not about to do it now. Besides, you know just how stubborn he is. He'll be bitching about leaving before the night’s over."

"God, I hope so. I just hate seeing him like this. I can't do anything for him."

"It's never easy to see someone you love hurting. He's strong Jared, an idiot sometimes, but he's strong. He'll be all right," Mike reassured.

"The doctor asked me about the bruises," Jared blurted out, staring at the bruises littering Jensen's skin.

Mike looked down where Jared was lightly stroking over the black smudges ringing Jensen's wrist with his thumb.

"Where in the hell did that come from?" Mike asked, moving closer so he could get a better look.

"When I got there Kylan had Jensen by the wrist, I saw Jensen yank his arm back a couple times but Kylan didn't let go. I knew it wasn't a light grip, but I didn't know it was hard enough to do this."

"Why the hell didn't Jensen just deck him?" Mike growled, sitting back again.

"I wish he had, but my guess is he didn't want to give Kylan ammunition against him. If Jensen hits him first all bets are off. He could say he did it in self defense, even though it would be a damn lie. Not to mention the restraining order would help support Jensen's side, but you know he's not going to take a chance on the press blowing it all out of proportion and not getting the facts straight."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Doesn't make me any happier about it. So what did the doctor say?"

"He asked me how Jensen got them. I think he thought I did it, but I told him what happened, (and) he apparently believed me, but he wanted to report it. I told him so did I, but it wasn't my call," Jared explained.

Mike snorted, "He thought you did it. Man definitely doesn't know you Mr. Ican'tsmashthebug because he didn't do anything to anybody."

"Shut up! I can to leave bruises."

"I do not need to know about Jensen and your kinks," Mike groaned, covering his ears.

"Oh really? I always thought you were freaky that way."

"He is," Tom affirmed, walking into the room.

"Secrets Tom! What have I said about secrets?" Mike asked, rolling his eyes.

"It's not a secret when there's video footage Mike."

"Shut up!" Mike whined.

Jared couldn't help it, the grin quickly grew to cover his whole face, followed by a series of undignified giggles before he could stifle them. God he loved his friends.

They talked quietly for the next hour, Jared repeated the doctor's questions and his diagnosis. He answered Tom's questions about the bruises and the past history Jensen had with Kylan. Jared asked if they would stay with Jensen if he had to leave for any reason, explaining that the doctor had asked about placing a security guard outside the room. They both were happy to help and Jared told them it had already been cleared and the doctor let the nursing staff know. None of them wanted a repeat performance of Kylan's unexpected visit.

Tom and Mike left a couple hours later promising to bring food and Jared's truck to the hospital, so when Jensen was released, they would have transportation. The nurses came in every hour, checking Jensen's fever and changing out the bags of fluids. They told Jared if Jensen didn't wake up soon they were going to do the usual procedures for unconscious patients. Jared cringed at the indignity of it and prayed Jensen would wake up on that basis alone. The antibiotics and fluids seemed to be doing their jobs, Jensen's fever had dropped to 104 and looked to continue the pattern of descent.

Jared propped his arms on the bed, never once losing his grip on Jensen's hand. He couldn't seem to let go, because of an illogical fear of something happening if he wasn't touching Jensen. Jared put his head down on his arms, exhaustion from lack of sleep and adrenalin rush wearing off. He only meant to close his eyes for a second, but when he opened them again the room was dark, there were boxes of food on the table along with his keys. However, every other sight paled in comparison to the picture of Jensen quietly watching him wake up, his eyes alert and focused solely on Jared’s.

"Hey," Jensen said quietly, a small smile gracing his face.

"Hey," Jared mimicked. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a pin cushion."

"Well, if you weren't so hard headed you wouldn't be doing an impression of a live voodoo doll," Jared responded, lightly squeezing Jensen's hand.

"How long have I been out?"

"Almost ten hours," Jared answered after looking at his watch.

"When can I go home?"

"When the doctor says you can and not before. You might as well get that look right off your face. I mean it, you scared the shit out of me!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I honestly haven't felt that bad."

"Jensen you have pneumonia and bronchitis. How can you not feel that bad?" Jared asked, dumfounded.

"Um, I had some left over antibiotic and some cough medicine with codeine in it." Jensen admitted sheepishly.

"So you were covering the symptoms and not treating the problem," Jared clarified.

"I didn't know it was going to get this bad, Jay. I swear I just thought it was a cold I couldn't kick."

"Okay, but from now on you don't get to tell me no when I say it's time to see the doctor. Damn near gave me a heart attack, passing out like that." Jared said, bringing Jensen's hand up to his lips. 

"Hey Jared."

"Yeah."

"I really need to pee."

The nurse was happy to see Jensen awake. She let Jared help Jensen to the bathroom, giving them as much privacy as possible in the situation. She told them she would let the doctor know Jensen was awake and she would be back shortly. Jared was just helping Jensen settle back into the bed when the doctor knocked on the door and then walked in.

"I'm happy to see you have decided to join us," Doctor Patterson said, smiling as he picked up Jensen's chart.

"Yeah, figured Jared would be bouncing off the walls by now, didn't want him setting off any alarms out of boredom," Jensen quipped, the effect ruined when he started coughing.

"I think if anyone's going to be setting off alarms it's going to be you. So why don't you tell me how your feeling,"

"Like shit," Jensen said before he could stop himself.

"Don't hold back there Mr. Ackles," Dr. Patterson chuckled.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. What's in these things?" Jensen asked nodding at the many tubes in his arms. 

Jared started laughing the minute the word shit left Jensen's mouth and the look of horror on his face when he realized what he had said just made him laugh even harder. Jensen was very polite when talking to people in authority. He became all yes sir and no sir, so for him to cut right to the chase and cuss at the same time was hysterical.

Jensen glared at him as he continued to laugh but the doctor just patted his hand and told him it was fine.

"They're giving you the good shit Mr. Ackles," the doctor mimicked Jensen's slip, looking over at Jared who was trying valiantly not to giggle.

"Please just call me Jensen, I keep looking for my dad when you call me that."

"Told you so," Jared muttered under his breath.

"That you did, you also told me you couldn't make the decision about reporting those bruises, so I think it's time to talk about them now."

Jensen looked at Jared confused, when Jared looked down, he followed suit and saw the bruising around his wrist for the first time. It wasn't even a conscious action when he tried to hide it under the covers.

"The doctor thought I might have something to do with it, but since I'm in the room with you, I'm guessing he believed me. He wants to report it and I agree but I told him it was your decision." Jared explained.

"They can't do anything, I reported it last time, and he found ways around it. He doesn't stop until he feels good and damn ready to, and obviously five years hasn't slowed him down any," Jensen rasped.

"Maybe not, but if you have the order on file it covers all your bases. If, God forbid, something happens the first question is going to be why didn't you report it." The doctor held up his hand to stall the rebuttals. "I do know someone in law enforcement that would probably come here and take your statement out of uniform, so he wouldn't draw attention. Look just think about it, in the meantime how about you tell me how a cold turned in to this grab bag of infections."

"Aren't you the one supposed to be telling me?" Jensen whined.

"Yes, if you wanted words that are fifteen letters long and don't mean a damn thing to you. I want to know how you've managed to go for weeks without everyone around you knowing you're about to keel over."

"Jeesh. Are you sure you're a doctor?" Jensen asked peering up at the him. He looked over at Jared who was staring in a mixture of awe and amusement, and then back to the doctor in disbelief.

"Did you check his credentials? " Jensen looked over at Jared again, who had obviously decided on amusement since you could see nothing but teeth and dimples.

"Jensen, I was a little more worried about you dying on me than looking at his badge, plus I'm sure that they would have noticed someone masquerading as a doctor by now." Jared snarked.

"Don't bet on it," Jensen grumbled.

Jared looked back over at the doctor, "I asked him that myself, he thought leftover antibiotics and cough medicine would work just fine."

"Traitor," Jensen growled, disgruntled.

"Hey, my job is to take care of you and if that's from yourself then so be it. I can go a few days with you pissed at me."

"Well, in the future how about you leave the medical practice to those of us who toiled for years to get the snazzy white coat and cool accessories." Doctor Patterson suggested.

"Yeah, alright. So how long do I have to stay here?" Jensen asked quietly.

"Well, it depends on how you respond to the treatment, but your temperature has dropped, your color is better, and you're awake so everything seems to be going the way it's supposed to. If it continues to progress favorably then I'd say day after tomorrow, but there will be no going back to work for at least a week."

"Eric's going to kill me," Jensen moaned, dropping his head back onto the pillow.

"I've already told him where we are, so he's expecting it," Jared confessed.

"Damn, this is going to set us back even further."

"Which is why next time you're going to tell me when you're not feeling well instead of waiting for this to happen," Jared stated.

Jensen's phone rang before either he or the doctor could say anything to Jared's statement. Jared searched through Jensen's jeans and excuse himself, so he could find a waiting room where he could see who it was and if the call needed to be returned. He finally found an unoccupied room and looked at the display.

" Shit," he muttered to himself, it was Chris. Jared didn't even have time to turn the phone off before it rang again. Jared swore again and then hit the talk button.

"Hey man! What's going on?"

"Jared?"

"Yeah,"

"Jared did you and Jenny get your phones mixed up again?" Chris asked.

"That happened one time, and it's not my fault you decided to serenade him the one day it happened," Jared sighed.

"Yes, but it was a damn good song, and I wasted it on you," Chris complained. "So why are you answering Jenny's phone if you didn't get them mixed up again?"

"Jensen can't get to it right now," Jared stalled.

"Well, since you're not home, I'm assuming you're not doing the dirty," Chris said.

"No, we're not home. Wait! How do you know we're not home?" 

"Well, sweetheart that might be because me and Steve are standing on your doorstep," Chris dropped his bombshell in obvious glee.

"Oh shit!" Jared moaned.


	6. Chapter 6

"Jared? What's wrong?" Chris asked.

"Is Steve with you?"

"Yes. Now tell me what the fuck is going on?" Chris growled.

Jared winced at the sound. "We're at the hospital."

"Hospital!" Chris shouted, nearly deafening him.

"Jensen passed out, he's all right though," Jared said in a rush, trying to calm the fear vibrating across the phone line.

He heard muffled talking, followed by a sounded like a brief tug of war, then Steve's voice filled his ear.

"Jared, the airport shuttle is still here. They're going to run us over there, so we'll be there in just a few minutes. Now tell me what happened." Steve said as calmly as he could at hearing Jensen and hospital in the same sentence.

"We had a long weekend, so we were moving Jensen's things. He sent me on ahead to pick up the dogs." Jared took a deep breath, trying to stop the tremble in his voice.

"I swear Steve, I didn't even think about it. The further away I drove the worse the feeling in my stomach got. I tried to call and he wouldn't answer, and you know how he is about his cell phone. I turned around and went back." Jared took a deep breath, so he could continue, nerves making him trip over his words. His stomach clenched remembering the fear climbing his thoat when didn't know what was happening to Jensen. 

"Jared, just clam down and tell me what went on," Steve soothed.

"Okay," Jared took another deep breath.

"I called Tom, I was hoping he was at home because he would have been closer, but him and Mike were at the set. When I got there Kylan had Jensen by the wrist. Jensen was trying to get him to let go without it getting violent. Kylan finally released him when he saw me, and not long after that Mike and Tom showed up, he left right after. I thought things were okay, next thing I know, Jensen's passed out." Jared finished in a rush, trying to still the fear that retelling the events had brought back.

"So, what did the doctor's say?" Steve asked.

Jared cringed when Steve told Chris to pipe down so he could hear. Chris was not only going to kill him for not telling him about Kylan, and leaving Jensen alone when he knew better, but Chris was going to make him a eunich for not realizing Jensen was as sick as he was. Not to mention he was going to have Steve and Chris' breakup on his head too. Jared knew he was being just a tad melodramatic, but damn, it had been a shitty day.

"He has pneumonia and bronchitis, plus he's dehydrated, that's why he passed out, well that and exhaustion. The doctor wants him to stay for 48 hours." Jared explained, he knew he was rambling but he couldn't seem to stop.

"All right, we'll be there any minute. I'll fill Chris in on everything, and then we'll go from there."

Jared sighed in relief, glad that he wasn't the one doing the explaining, at least he could do his explaing after the big fallout. Jared closed Jensen's phone and returned to the room. releived to see Dr. Patterson had waited until he came back so Jensen wouldn't be left alone.

"I just told Jensen that we'd remove the IV with the fluids tomorrow morning, but I want to keep him on the antibiotics intravenously until the day I release him. It's a lot more potent that way, and when you go home, I'll give you a prescription that needs to be filled." The doctor said, ignoring the scowl Jensen was giving him.

"Is there anything you can give him for the cough? He's not been sleeping well at all, because he's been coughing so hard."

"Hey, I'm right here," Jensen growled, waving his hand in the air.

"Yes, you are." Jared replied and went right back to ignoring him, so he could pay attention to the doctor.

The weak snarl coming from behind him just made Jared smile. He could picture Jensen's exact look. Arms crossed over his chest, well maybe not because his IV's would get in the way, but he was sure Jensen would find a way to look properly put out. His eyebrows would be furrowed, and eyes narrowed in irritation. His lips would be pursed in a pout, which always made Jared want to suck that bottom lip into his mouth and bite it. Oh yeah, Jensen would look totally fuckable and he really needed to find another train of thought before the doctor thought better of letting him stay the night with his sick boyfriend.

"I'm going to be giving him the same cough medicine he's been taking, just increasing the dosage, so he can actually get some rest," the doctor said with an amused look on his face.

Dr. Patterson looked past Jared to Jensen, "The detective I told you about is going to come by tomorrow morning. I'll stop in while he's here and give him a copy of the pictures we took."

"What pictures?" Jensen sputtered, looking between Jared and the doctor

"I'm going to leave that one to you," the doctor patted Jared's arm.

"Thanks ever so much," Jared responded, sarcasm heavy in his voice.

"Don't mention it. Jensen, I'll see you in the morning. You can tell me how awesome I am. Not only do you get the good shit, but you get the magic cough medicine too." Dr. Patterson shot Jared a grin and was out the door.

"Jared, what pictures?" Jensen growled.

Jared slowly turned around, steeling himself for the little seen but greatly feared Ackles temper.

"The doctor asked permission to take pictures of your wrist in case you decided to press charges."

"Oh, and I bet you just signed right on that dotted line, didn't you Jay?"

"Actually it was a solid line, but yes I signed it."

"You do realize if a tabloid gets hold of that they're going to have a field day?"

"Jensen, I couldn't give a rats ass what the tabloids say or do, not that I think they'll get the pictures. All I care about is making sure you're okay, and we have whatever we need to keep you that way."

Jensen sighed loudly, irritation still etched in the rigid posture, but his anger had drained away, unable to hold on to it in the face of Jared's need to protect him.

"Fine but you don't get to sign anything else. I'm revoking your signing privileges, I'm going to give them to Tom instead." Jensen huffed.

"Sure you are Jen," Jared agreed, crossing the room to sit on the end of the bed. "So the doctor talked you into reporting it?"

"Yes and no," Jensen answered, still giving Jared the evil eye.

" Explain please."

"Yes, because he swore on his grandma's grave this guy would keep it quiet. No, because you went and made sure Kylan knew who, and what you were to me. So if this will keep him away from you then I'll do it."

"Jensen, I don't need protecting."

"Yeah, that's what I said too and look what happened," Jensen responded.

Jared flinched at the quietly spoken words, and dropped his eyes to the blanket he'd been picking at.

"Hey, Jared what's wrong?" Jensen asked softly, leaning forward and taking Jared's hand in his. He had seen the flinch and Jared looked like someone had stolen one of their dogs.

"You weren't supposed to get hurt, not again. He wasn't supposed to be able to get anywhere near you. I tried to cover all the bases, and then I'm the one who left you, so he could get his chance."

Jared's voice thick with self reproach. He continued to pick at the blanket covering Jensen's legs.

"Jared. Hey look, at me."

Jared didn't want to see Jensen's face. He knew it would be full of forgiveness and love, something he didn't feel like he deserved any of at the moment.

"I'm sorry Jen. I fucked up, I didn't even think about it when I left," he said mournfully, lifting his eyes to finally look at Jensen.

"Jared, none of this is your fault. Jesus... Kylan is a freak. I never should have gotten involved with him. If it's anybody's fault it's mine." Jensen said, squeezing Jared's hand and smiling at him.

Jared turned his hand over so he could wrap his fingers in Jensen's solid grip.

"There's no way you could know Kylan was a psycho, dominant asshole. Last time I checked, you didn't walk on water, contrary to the fans popular opinion, so you're not the all knowing. You couldn't have known." Jared refuted.

"How about we call it a draw and try to figure out how to get rid of him?" Jensen asked, shooting for a compromise.

"So exactly what did you do anyway? I know you never really left me alone. Did you do something else?"

"Promise you won't get mad at me?" Jared begged.

"Jay, I think I've met my quota for getting angry tonight. I can't be angry at you for trying to protect me."

"Um...." Jared stalled.

"Jared, I swear I'm not going to be mad."

Jared took a deep breath letting it out slowly, he looked at Jensen waiting patiently. There was no way he was getting out of this, he decided to go ahead and bite the bullet and tell Jensen everything.

"I googled Kylan so I could see what he looked like, then I took the picture to Eric and asked him to make sure the guy never made it on the set. When we went out with Mike and Tom, one of us always stayed with you, and you already know you didn't get far from my sight. Well, until today that is." Jared said, feeling the need to say what the nasty little voice in his head had been shouting.

"Jared, I'm warning you, if you don't stop that shit I'm going to get pissed. I've already told you it's not your fault." a grin spread across Jensen's face. "I was kind of wondering why all of a sudden I had company when I went to the bathroom."

"Well if I'd been the one always going with you then the trips would have been much longer." Jared quipped.

"Yes, but it would have been a lot more fun than having Mike in there singing just to hear himself echo. So is this there anything else I need to know about?"

"No, that's pretty much it. Oh!" Jared stopped.

"What?" Jensen asked at the sudden outburst.

"I told Steve," Jared answered quietly.

"You told Steve what?" Jensen asked, confused by Jared's guilty expression.

"You told him everything? Oh Jesus, this is going to be fun. He didn't tell Chris did he?"

"No, and that's another thing." Jared cringed, moving out of range of flailing limbs. "Chris and Steve should be here any minute."

"What? Why did you tell them I was in the hospital Jared? They've spent enough time with their lives on hold because of me."

"I didn't, I swear, or I didn't until they called and said they were standing on our front porch. There wasn't much else I could do except tell them the truth," Jared explained in a rush.

Jensen relaxed a little with the knowledge that his friends hadn't dropped everything and flown out to baby sit him, but he still grimaced at the thought of not being able to mask just how badly he felt.

"Shit!" Jensen moaned.

"Yeah, that's what I said. Steve was going to explain about Kylan on the way over here so I have a feeling things are going to be tense when they finally show up."

"Hmm give me a few minutes alone with Chris when they get here, I'll take care of it. I'm sorry I got upset, I just don't want them interrupting everything their doing to come take care of me," Jensen said, squeezing Jared's hand again.

"I know Jen, but they just want to be there when you need them. You don't have to do everything on your own. It doesn't make you any less of a person or any less independent to ask for help. Wouldn't you want to be there when something happens to me or one of our friends? Do you think I'm weak when I need help or when I'm sick?"

"No, but..."

"No buts, it's part of being with someone. Love is great but we both know it takes more than love. It takes respect, communication and compromise, and I think we do a damn good job of all three, even though we still need to work on that communication thing some more." Jared finished, leaning forward and placing a kiss on Jensen's forehead. He lowered his head to rest against Jensen's.

"We just have to remember it's hard work, something that's worth it always is, and we are worth it." Jared said, moving down to place a gentle kiss on Jensen's lips, before he sat back.

"I know it's worth it, I just hate when my shit bleeds over into everybody's life," Jensen explained.

"Well I'm sure Steve and Chris didn't see it that way anymore than I do," Jensen sighed, leaning back into the pillows. The cough medicine the nurse had brought starting to make him groggy.

Jared watched Jensen battle to keep his eyes open. When it had been a few minutes and his eyelids didn't flicker open, Jared stood up and made his way to the door. He wanted to make sure Chris and Steve didn't burst in and wake him up. Jared had told the nurses station after talking to Steve, that there were two stressed and possibly frantic men coming to see Jensen, so they were already expected.

He stepped out of the room closing the door behind him, leaning against it, taking a deep breath. Jared shut his eyes, relaxing for just a minute letting the day fall away, he'd been furious when he saw Kylan with his hand on Jensen and then terrified when Jensen passed out. He'd been in a state of high alert for hours, and he was crashing both physically and mentally. When he opened them again he was met by the piercing blue glare of Christian Kane.

"Shit man! Don't do that! You almost gave me a stroke," Jared exclaimed, clutching his hand to his chest.

"Good," Chris growled. "If you keep shit like this from me again you'll have more to worry about than a stroke, are we clear?"

"Yeah, crystal," Jared answered, nodding his head. He wasn't going to make excuses, and he was going to give Chris time to see Jensen and cool down before he talked to him.

Jared knew when he made the decision to follow Steve's advice, there were going to be ruffled feathers, but if it kept Jensen safe and kept their friend out of jail, he was willing to face a few pissed people, even Chris.

"Be quiet when you go in, he just fell asleep," Jared cautioned as he stepped away from the door.

He received a murderous glare as Chris bypassed him and walked into the room.

"Damn," Jared breathed out.

"It'll be all right, he just needs to see that Jensen is okay with his own eyes. He'll start calming down after that." Steve said, patting Jared on the arm.

"I hope so, Jensen said to give him a few minutes with Chris, so when he wakes up, we can go get some food."

"Did the doctor say anything else about his condition?" Steve asked.

"No, but he did manage to get Jensen to agree about reporting it. The doctor knows this detective and he's going to come by tomorrow to take Jensen's statement and get the pictures the doctor made so they can keep them as part of the case."

"What pictures?"

"The one's the doctor took of the bruises...." Jared trailed off.

"What bruises?"

"I didn't tell you about the bruises did I?" Jared backed up a little just in case Steve decided he wanted to throw a punch.

"No, you neglected to tell me that part and Chris is in there discovering them for himself." Steve sighed.

"I told you Kylan had him by the wrist. I didn't know until later how hard he must have been holding on. The doctor even asked me about them before he'd tell me anything. I think he was worried about Jensen being in an abusive relationship, which he was, just not with me." Jared finished.

"Son of a bitch, Chris is going to rip him to shreds."

"Yeah, he's not the only one," Jared mumbled.

Jared held the door open for Steve, hanging back to give him a chance to do his own visual assessment of Jensen. Chris was sitting in the chair beside the bed, watching the machine measuring Jensen's heart beat. He looked over when the door opened, worry etched in his face.

"His blood pressure is still a little low and his heart rate is a little high." Chris said quietly.

"The doctor said his blood pressure will stabilize once he's fully hydrated again. The heart rate is probably the medicine, but we'll ask the next time the nurse comes in. It must not be too high, or they'd be in here right now." Jared replied.

"He get these from Kylan?" Chris asked, nodding his head at the bruises.

"Yeah, I didn't know he was holding on so tight, or I would have tore his arm off, but Jensen didn't want to start anything. He doesn't mind going at it, he's just not going to be the one to start it."

"Yes I know. What goods is teaching the boy to fight dirty if he's not going to use it," Chris huffed.

"I'm sure if he thought he needed it, he wouldn't hesitate," Steve cut in, sitting down next to Chris.

"Don't think I'm not still pissed at you for keeping me in the dark," Chris informed Steve and Jared.

"Oh, we had no doubt of that," Steve assured.

They sat and talked quietly for the next several hours about the happenings in their lives. Steve told Jared how the rest of his tour was, Chris talked about Steve joining him at the tail end of his. Chris was of the opinion he always sounded better when Steve was there, Steve, of course, said it wasn't true because he always sounded great. When Jensen finally started stirring Chris and Steve had dozed off, the flight and stress finally catching up with them. Jared moved around to the head of the bed so Jensen would be able to see him when he woke up. He hated the look of disorientation Jensen always had when they weren't at home and Jensen would start awake and look around wide eyed. There shouldn't ever be a time that Jensen looked like that as far as he was concerned.

When Jensen finally blinked awake, his lips curved into a small smile, his sight filling with Jared smiling down at him.

"So, that cough medicine is awesome isn't it?" Jared asked.

"I'm definitely going to have to add a few more puffs of air to Dr. Patterson's ego, I'm afraid." Jensen acknowledged.

"Oh that'll make his day. Chris and Steve are here now," Jared said nodding towards the sleeping pair.

Jensen turned his head and saw their friends sleeping in some of the most awkward positions he had ever seen them in. He couldn't stop himself from smiling at the sight. When he looked back at Jared he was ginning as well, dimples on full display. Jensen lifted his head off the pillow asking for a kiss, one that Jared gladly gifted him with.

"So how bad was it?" Jensen asked, needing to know how much damage control he had ahead of him.

"Not good, he pretty much threatened to kill me if I ever left him in the dark again. He's not touching Steve either which doesn't make me feel any better, since I was the one that called and dumped it on Steve's plate." Jared sighed, running his hands through messy hair.

"I'll talk to Chris. It'll be okay, he just needs time to calm down and think things through."

"Well it looks like you're going to get your chance soon," Jared whispered, as Chris shifted around, trying to find a more comfortable position.

"You haven't seen some of the places I've seen him crash in. We've got at least a couple of hours before he's back in the land of the living. How about coming up here and keeping me company?"

"There's no way we'll both fit up there," Jared whispered.

"Come up here and we'll see," Jensen patted the bed.

Jared sighed, looking doubtfully at the bed, Jensen moved to the side and Jared crawled up onto the bed with him, careful not to jar the IV. It was a tight fit with two large men, but necessity is the mother of invention or in their case improvisation, both needing to feel the other. Jensen scooted down until he could rest his head on Jared's chest, and Jared could put his arm around him. Twin sighs of contentment escaped their lips as they settled down to get some much needed sleep. Jared decided he didn't mind being wrong at all.

***************************************************************************

Three hours later, Chris woke with a knot in his neck that he wasn't sure would ever unwind and Steve drooling on his shoulder. He rolled his eyes and pushed Steve's head up enough to get his arm around Steve's back and pull him in closer to his side. His eyes traveled around the room looking for Jared, finally settling on the bed where he found both men wrapped around each other asleep. Chris stretched his legs out trying to remind them what blood flow was. Steve grunted as his pillow shifted beneath him but quieted quickly when Chris ran his fingers through Steve's hair. He let the quiet soothe his frayed nerves, the beep and whoosh of the machines a backdrop of monotony that had him staring off into space, no real thoughts forming, just a mind numbing void.

A nurse came in a half an hour later to change the empty bags and give Jensen more cough medicine, the rustle of plastic and clinking of metal effectively waking everyone not already up. Jared was sitting on the end of the bed looking like a five year old that had been rousted from sleep in the middle of the night, his hair plastered to his head on one side, crease marks running the length of his cheek where it had been resting against Jensen crumpled shirt. He wasn't fully awake yet, his eyes kept drooping and he'd reach up to rub at them, struggling for coherency.

Steve was in a similar state, blinking sluggishy at the nurse as he watched her go about her duties. Chris had pulled back into himself when Steve woke up, not ready to forgive what he felt was a betrayal. It hadn't been a lie really, but it was a secret, and it stung that Steve hadn't trusted him. The nurse finished up and told Jensen the doctor would be by to see him in a couple of hours and that if he needed anything to just hit the call button and she'd be right in. Jared's sleepy, dazed look changed to a grumpy scowl as the nurse left in a swish of support shoes.

"If he needs anything, he won't have to push the call button," Jared mimicked in a high, sarcastic voice.

Chris shot Jared a surprised look and Jensen almost choked on the water he'd been drinking.

"Jay?" Jensen asked when he finally stopped coughing.

"Don't you Jay me, you know what she was hinting at."

"She just caught you draped all over me! How could she miss the, I'm gay part." Jensen asked exasperated.

"You know they think they can turn us back." Jared's voice had that ' duh' quality to it.

"Oh dear God. Steve please go feed him, he's hallucinating," Jensen begged.

Steve shuffled to his feet. He leaned down and kissed the top of Chris' head, grabbing Jared by the arm and pulling him to the door. He was still shaking his head as Jared continued to mumble about buttons and stupid nurses when the door snicked shut.

Jensen looked over at Chris who had settled back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest, forehead creased in a scowl. Jensen knew this wasn't going to be a fun conversation, but he also knew there was no way he was going to let Chris act like an ass when he would have done the same things that Steve and Jared had done. He just had to remind Chris of that without getting his head chewed off.

"So what's got you so pissy?" Jensen asked, settling back into the pillows and focusing on Chris again.

"I don't think this is a good time or place to be having this conversation. How about you tell me about this Kylan prick," Chris countered.

Jensen decided the best thing to do was give Chris a little before asking for something in return. Jensen had learned over the years how to navigate the minefield that was Christian Kane. "Not to much to tell, just another mistake in a long line of mistakes."

"More to it than that." Chris grunted.

"No not really, he was just a bigger asshole than the others."

"Why didn't you ever mention him, or better yet, why didn't you say something about the three days you spent in the hospital after he beat the shit out of you?"

Jensen shifted in the bed and tried to get more comfortable. "Yeah not my finest hour, but how did you know I was in the hospital for three days?" He opted to answer the hospital part of the question, hoping Chris wouldn't bring up why he didn't tell him again.

Chris snorted, his voice bitter. "Steve decided his time was better spent digging for answers instead of filling me in on what was going on."

Jensen knew the other shoe was about to drop. He hadn't told Jared because ultimately nothing had happened, and it was something he'd hoped no one would find out, but if Steve had been digging, then they already knew.

"How about the fact that he tried to sexually assault you while you were dazed from the blow to the head?" Chris asked in almost a whisper, eyes pinning Jensen to the bed.

"Because it was a mute point Chris, he didn't succeed. I broke his kneecap and then his jaw. There wasn't any reason for any of ya'll to know that."

Chris looked at him through bloodshot eyes. Jensen could see the fear, relief, and self-recrimination pass over Chris' face, everything he'd tried to keep his friends from feeling, by not telling them.

"How is he not in jail right now? How the hell is he here and not being somebody's bitch in the shower room?"

"He got probation, physical therapy, and a one way ticket out of the country. Canada's not the U.S. Chris, he can still come here. Why he's waited five years I don't know, maybe he was doing time somewhere else or maybe he's been torturing someone other than me."

"Why are you so fucking calm about this?"

"What am I going to do Chris? Get hysterical? Fall all to pieces? Shit man, what good’s that going to do? You want me to get mad? I've already done that it didn't help. You think I'm not scared? I am, I'm not stupid. The guy is seriously off his rocker, I don't want you and Steve anywhere near me with him around. Shit, Jared pretty much waved a red flag in his face with great big letters saying come get me. Hell, fucking yea I'm scared, but I'm doing everything I can. For God's sake, Jared's done everything but lock me in the house and refuse to let me out, which I'm sure he's going to insist on now." Jensen wound down, as he was overcome by a coughing fit.

Chris stood up quickly and handed him the glass of water sitting on the table. His had hovered over the call button but Jensen shook his head and grabbed at Chris' hand. He waited as (until) Jensen finished it and leaned back into the pillow again. Chris sat back in the chair, kneading his temples where a gradual throb had been building.

"You remember when we were at that bar in Tennessee, the one where Steve was playing for two or three nights?" Jensen asked.

"How could I forget, you broke a couple of knuckles on that dude's face," Chris smirked.

"I wouldn't have had to if you'd have stayed out of the Tequila bottle. I saw him follow you to the bathroom. What was I supposed to do? You could hardly stand up by yourself, and I knew what he wanted, he'd been watching you all night."

"I still could have taken him," Chris grumbled.

"I'm sure," Jensen snorted. "Would that have been before or after he bent you over the sink you were shoved up against when I came in?"

"You do know, I know exactly what you're doing, right?" Chris asked.

Jensen just hummed an agreement. "I believe you made me swear not to tell Steve. Why was that? Do you remember?"

"You know why, but you’re not going to shut up until I say it are you?" Chris accused, glaring at Jensen.

"Nope." Jensen agreed with a great big grin.

"Fine, I didn't want him to mess up his set."

"And...."

"I didn't want him getting in a fight I couldn't back him up in. Didn't matter anyway, he found out," Chris huffed.

"Not because I told him. He does have eyes. He saw you putting them away, and if I knew the guy was watching you all night you can bet your ass Steve knew it too. He was getting ready to drop his guitar and go in there after you, that's why I went. We came out and the guy never did, coupled with your split lip and my busted knuckles it didn't take a rocket scientist to know what happened."

Chris turned his head to glare at the wall.

"I'm sure Steve was going to tell you man, he just didn't want to do it when he wasn't there to back you up and he didn't have all the information he needed. You know how he is about being prepared."

Chris rolled his eyes sighing because he knew exactly how Steve was. That was just one of the reasons he loved the man.

"Do I need to remind you of the time that chick was chasing Steve? She went to every event, all his shows, and made sure she got photos and autographs at every one." Jensen said around a yawn, snuggling even further down into the pillows.

"That bitch had issues!" Chris exclaimed.

"Yes, she was a little unstable. She thought her and Steve were soul mates or something, right?"

"Yeah, they were destined to be together because their planets and stars aligned or some shit like that. I don't know man she was just wacked."

"What did you do?" Jensen asked.

"You know what I did," Chris sighed. He knew he was cornered and there was no escape until Jensen made his point. Damn if he didn’t just hate Jensen's big brain sometimes.

"Yes, I do, but I want you to tell me."

"I hired a bodyguard so that if I couldn't be there he'd be safe. I may have cancelled a few gigs," Chris said grudgingly.

"A few? Try almost half a tour."

Chris just shrugged, refusing to look at Jensen.

"And...."

"You do know I hate when you do this shit right?" Chris whined.

Jensen just continued to stare at him until he sighed again and gave up.

"I didn't tell you. I didn't want you anywhere near us in case she went super nova."

"Would you do it again?"

"You know I would, damn it!"

"Why?"

"Because Steve gives good head and if something did happen I wanted to make sure you weren't around so I'd have another dick on standby," Chris snarked.

Jensen folded his arms across his chest and waited.

"I swear I don't know why I even like you, you’re an ass. I did it because I'd do anything to keep him safe, and I wouldn't tell you again because you’re like my brother, and I didn't want you anywhere near that shit. Hell, if I'd have been able to find a way for Steve to have disappeared I'd have done that too," Chris finished, exasperated. He slouched down in his seat, pointedly ignoring the sunny smile Jensen was aiming his way.

That's how Jared and Steve found them a few minutes later when they came back bearing food. Jared looked at Chris sitting in the chair pouting and then over at Jensen grinning from ear to ear. He carefully edged his way to the bed and sat down next to Jensen. Steve, however, walked right over to Chris and plopped down beside him. He took Chris' hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing across his knuckles.

"I was going to tell you. I just wanted to know what we were walking into first."

"Yeah, well maybe I'd like to know what we're walking into too," Chris grumped.

"That's just it, you wouldn't have walked. You'd have run and then dived in head first, and as much as I love Jensen, there's no way I'm going to risk losing you," Steve said, leaning over and kissing Chris gently.

There was a soft knock on the door before it opened and the nurse from before brought in towels and soap because Jensen had asked if he could shower. She placed the supplies on the end of the bed and told him he could shower at any time as long as he had help in the room. If not, he was to call the nurses station and one of them would be in to help. Jared scowled as the door closed, heat spiraling through his veins.

"I just bet you would be right in to help," Jared mumbled under his breath.

"Wow!" Steve exlcaimed.

Chris was a little stunned. He just sat there blinking at Jared for a minute. "You know I'm damn happy he doesn't have Sam's powers," Chris told Steve in a mock whisper.

Jared looked over at their friends a confused look on his face. "What?"

Jensen was trying his best not to laugh. He stifled a giggle and took one of Jared's hands in his.

"Jared you look like you're about to blow a gasket. You do realize you could break her in half if she tried anything," Jensen said.

"It's not funny. This is the second time in less than..." Jared stopped and looked at his watch, "Thirty minutes, she's tried to get in your pants, with me standing right here." Jared finished on a growl.

"She's just doing her job. She's supposed to be nice," Jensen said, still trying not to laugh. He pulled on Jared's hand until he leaned down. "By the way, I'm not wearing any pants," he whispered in reference to the hospital gown he was in.

"There's a difference in being nice and throwing yourself at someone, and don't remind me, we have company," Jared groaned.

Jensen just rolled his eyes and went back to eating. Chris and Steve were still in a state of shock. They were so used to Jared being the big goofball, they were flabbergasted by the possessive side of their friend. If they didn't already know Jared and had first hand knowledge that he'd never do anything to hurt Jensen, they'd be making plans to get rid of him, as in permanently, because he was just a little scary when he got jealous.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

They finally talked Steve and Chris into taking Jared's truck and going back to Jensen's condo. They had left enough items there on the advice of the realtor so when she showed the place it would look lived in, that Steve and Chris would have just about everything they needed. Jensen and Jared both went back to sleep for a few hours, Jared promising to help Jensen with his shower after the doctor saw him around nine.

Jensen's breakfast was delivered around eight, which Jared ate half of. Jensen didn't mind because he knew as soon as one of their friends showed up, Jared would go get them all some food or, if they were lucky, the guys would bring it with them. Jensen was chomping at the bit to go home, but he wasn't due to be released for another thirty hours or so and Jared was determined that Jensen would stay as long as the doctor wanted him there, even if he had to sit on him to keep him in the bed.

Dr. Patterson came around a little after nine. He was much happier with Jensen's color and said the antibiotics seemed to be working well. Jensen's fever had dropped to a more manageable 102 degrees, but he wanted it to be no higher than 99 when he sent Jensen home, which he assured Jensen unless something unforeseen happened should be within the 48 hour timetable, he had set previously. Dr. Patterson promised to stop back in around noon when the detective was supposed to come by, so he could introduce them and hand off the pictures he'd taken.

Jensen scowled at Jared every time the pictures were mentioned but Jared just ignored him, continuing his conversation with the doctor. Jensen decided he'd use the pictures to get his cell phone from Jared. It took some doing but Jared finally relinquished it and Jensen was able to call Eric. Eric reassured him everything was fine and that the writer’s strike was pretty much inevitable, so they were going to wrap up the editing on the episode they had just finished and shut things down until the strike was over.

Jensen was much easier to deal with after he found out he wasn't going to be holding up filming and wasting everyone's time, and piped down about having to stay for another day and a half. Jared helped Jensen into the shower, sitting on the closed toilet lid, so he could make sure Jensen didn't slip and crack his head, and he could continue to talk to him. Jensen had told Jared as soon as Steve and Chris left about Kylan's attempt to sexually assault him, knowing that not only would it come up again with the detective but there was a good chance Kylan would find a way to turn it around and make it sound like something consensual.

Jared was understandably pissed that he hadn't known before he'd met Kylan because it was just another reason he should have shoved the bastard in a chipper/shredder instead of letting him walk off, despite the arguments Jensen gave against it. Jared felt all along that Jensen had been holding something back, and he wasn't really surprised that this was what it had turned out to be.

No one wanted to admit to being violated that way, most of all someone as independent, and private as Jensen was. Logically, Jensen knew it wasn't a sign of weakness, he'd never thought people that had been attacked that way were weak, but emotionally and psychologically, Jared knew he berated himself for not knowing, and not being able to stop it. Jared had researched the repercussions of sexual assaults for a paper he'd done in high school and he understood that these were very common feelings. 

He wished with everything in him that Jensen had never been touched by that. Even if it was an unsuccessful attempt, it still left scars that couldn't be seen but would always be felt. He thought what hurt him the most was that Jensen had gone through it alone. That had been Jensen’s choice but Jared knew that it was killing Steve and Chris to know they hadn't been there for him. Jared thought he knew pretty much everything there was to know about Jensen's strength and fortitude but just when he thought he could dot his, i's and cross his t's and end that chapter of discovery, something else would pop up and need to be added.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was sitting up in bed flipping through the channels, trying to find something to watch, Jared was reading through the medical chart at the end of the bed, making up dire remedies for medical terminology that neither one of them understood. Jensen was just happy Jared had stopped exploring all the gadgets hanging on the wall. He'd threatened to call the nurses in several times when Jared started playing with some of the buttons on the wall and wouldn't leave the bed on one setting. Jared just bounced over to the cabinets and started poking through them. Jensen was pretty sure Jared had every available pocket stuffed with latex gloves and tongue depressors.

He'd tried to explain that you could buy surgical gloves anywhere but Jared refused to listen, stating that when they played doctor, he wanted it to feel authentic. Jensen was still shaking his head at Jared's grin and eyebrow waggle, when he asked Jared what he planned to do with the tongue depressors. He received a mischievous smile but no answer. Jensen was just about to start his threats of no sex when the door pushed open and the doctor walked in dressed in street clothes.

"Did you decide to take the rest of the day off?" Jensen asked.

The doctor looked at him funny. He opened his mouth to say something when the door burst open and Dr. Patterson came skidding around it. Jared and Jensen were so shocked that neither one of them could get a word out.

"You didn't tell them did you?" the man asked.

"No, I was going to get here before you but as usual you're early."

"Well, if you know I'm going to be early then why aren't you ever ahead of me?"

Jared was already confused enough without trying to follow a conversation where he thought half the words were being left out. He cleared his throat and waited for both men to turn their attention to him.

"So exactly what is going on?" Jared asked.

"This is my brother Garrett, he's also the detective I was telling you about," Dr. Patterson introduced.

"You said he was your friend, you didn't say anything about him being your brother," Jensen sputtered.

"He is my friend, you can't be twins and not be friends. We'd have killed each other growing up otherwise."

"Devon is just upset that I didn't go into medicine with him. That way, when he wanted to play hookie he would have had me to cover for him," the detective explained.

"Am not, I just don't want to see you coming through my emergency room all shot up, and you only covered for me once," Dr. Patterson huffed.

Jared snorted at the pranks that the men must have pulled when they were younger. He knew him and Jeff were bad enough, but if they'd have been twins he didn't think his parents would have survived. 

"Anyway, how about we get started, and you tell me what happened. I have the case files from North Carolina, but I want to know what happened here first before we get into that," Garrett said as he pulled the chair up to Jensen's bed.

"Hey, I have to get back to rounds but here are the pictures. I'll see you on Friday okay?" Dr. Patterson looked back at Jensen, "I'll see you around six or so before I leave tonight. I want to make sure that fever is still falling."

The door shut behind him and Jensen and Jared focused on the detective again, still a little dazed at the double vision they'd just witnessed. Jared scooted further up the bed so he could get comfortable, knowing this conversation was going to take a while.

"So how about you tell me what happened yesterday, and then we'll go from there."

Jensen relayed the day’s events, with Jared giving his part of the story at the appropriate times, ending with the trip to the hospital and the bruising around Jensen's wrist. The detective looked over the bruising, his frown getting deeper as he looked at the shifting colors in the bruised area.

"The first time he contacted you was when?"

"About five weeks ago but I didn't get it until four weeks ago." Jensen answered.

"Were you away when it was left?" Garrett asked?

"My parents were here, and then I went out of town for a few days."

"Do you still have the recording?"

Jensen looked at Jared who nodded his head. Jensen had wanted to get rid of it but Jared wanted it in case Kylan did decide to show up.

"I have it back a the house. When one of the guys shows up I'll go get it." Jared explained.

"Devon said you didn't want security? Why is that?"

"Jensen would have had a shit fit if there was someone standing guard outside the door. Privacy in our world is hard won and the press can make up some wonderful lies to go with everyone's morning coffee. So I asked Dr. Patterson if me and some of our friends could stay instead," Jared explained.

"Makes sense. Now how about you tell me what happened in North Carolina. I have a statement from a Terrance Waters about some of Mr. Barclay's little hobbies, but I want to know what happened in that hotel room. You didn't press charges but it came up in the restraining order since the state pressed them for you." Garrett said. He didn't sound judgmental just stating facts that were in front of him.

"I know I should have pressed charges even if it wasn't for me, maybe someone else wouldn't have to go through this, but I was young and stupid. I just wanted it to be over and forget about him, when I left town and he didn't follow I thought it was over." Jensen sighed at the lost chance, guilt weighing his shoulders down.

"Hey, you were alone, and you didn't want your friends getting hurt. You're not perfect Jen, you did what you needed to do for you and sometimes that's all we can do," Jared reassured, rubbing his hands up and down Jensen's arms.

"I'm not here to judge you Jensen, no one has the right to say what another person should do in any given circumstance, especially when they're not in your shoes. People deal with things in all kinds of ways, that's why we have to be careful not to stereotype reactions to things. One person may cry, another get mad, some shut down completely and others disassociate. I make all my decisions based on what I can see, the pattern it fits as a whole and then where my gut leads me. Any policeman that says they don't use their gut is lying out their ass, especially ones who have been on the job awhile."

Jensen leaned back on the pillows, bringing one arm across his forehead, trying to relax some of the stress out of his shoulders.

"It was pretty normal to start off with you know, boy meets boy, boys like each other and start going out. He'd gotten a little possessive after a few weeks usually when we went out, so I just thought, hell, it'd be easier to stay in. Then it was the emails from friends and if the phone rang he wanted to know who it was, when Terry told me about the bet and all the others that had come before me I'd had enough."

"I took him to his hotel because I didn't want a great big scene in public. I didn't figure anyone would know who I was, but I just don't think that's something that needs to be discussed in public. Anyway, he wasn't pleased when I told him it was over, and that I didn't want anything to do with him. I went to leave and he hit me with one of those mag light things they can use underwater. Heavy fucker, it rang my bell pretty good. He took the opportunity of me being down to do some free pounding, got in a few good kicks, when he thought I was out enough not to put up a fight I guess he decided he'd get in one more fuck you." Jensen trailed off.

"I've read over the reports, you got in a few shots and made them count, probably the only thing that kept him from getting further. According to this Terrance, it was a normal part of his M.O. When he was in town, he’d pick a girl or guy and see how far he could go. One of the detectives down there in North Carolina who took an instant dislike to the guy, started doing some digging with the help of Terrance's list of dates and places. Officer Mallory, that's the fella that did the legwork, found out Kylan usually went for the unique, always something just a little more special about them. He said it wasn't always their looks, maybe their jobs or their personalities but there was always that one little thing that set them apart."

Jensen sighed, "How many has he beat the hell out of, or was I just extra special?"

Garrett shook his head, "No you're not the only one things got physical with, but you are the only one, he put in the hospital. I'm guessing no one else fought back though. The most troubling case is one in Australia, a young woman he'd been seeing hasn't been heard from in over three years. From what Officer Mallory could piece together, Kylan was courting her fast and furious. Her co-workers said they didn't notice anything off but then the young lady was a very private person. They were worried when she didn't show up for work after a long weekend so they called her emergency contact. Her parents said she was supposed to be out of town with her boyfriend."

"The boyfriend in question was one Kylan Barclay. He acknowledged that they were supposed to go over to one of the beaches, but that he got a call about a group of sharks traveling together, as far as he knew Alisha was going to stay at her apartment. Australian police couldn't find any evidence of foul play, nothing linking Kylan to her disappearance, so were never able to charge him. They do have a standing flag on his passport so that if he enters the country they know about it, needless to say, they think he was involved but their hands are tied." Garrett finished looking up at the Jensen's face which had gone completely white. Jared's wasn't much darker either.

"They think he killed her?" Jared finally asked.

"Her credit cards haven't been used, none of her money has been withdrawn from her bank, usually a sign of a person no longer with the living. I'm not real happy with the no security guard but at the moment I'll let it be. Anything comes up that makes me twitchy, and I don't care how mad it makes you, someone will be outside your door or parked on your doorstep. I take folks under my protection very seriously, and since you're in my district, that means you." Garrett warned, as he stood.

"I'll be filing a report and dropping by here or your house to have you sign it. You remember anything else from before or yesterday, give me a call," he said, holding out his business card for Jensen to take.

Detective Patterson shook both men's hands and promised to get the ball rolling on trying to locate Kylan.

Jensen was very quiet after the detective left. Jared continued to watch as Jensen seemed to draw in on himself. When he couldn't take it anymore, he nudged until Jensen laid his head on his chest.

"Tell me," Jared demanded quietly.

"That girl could still be alive if I'd have said something." Jensen's voice shuddered out of him.

Jared had been afraid this was what had Jensen so quiet.

"Jensen, the state pressed the same charges you would have. They took it out of your hands, yes, but it doesn't change the fact that the same thing would have happened if you'd have done it."

"Yes, but I didn't. I was worried about what would happen if my friends and family found out. I didn't want anyone getting hurt because of me, Jared I was scared and all I could think about is how scared that girl must have been knowing she was going to die, knowing she'd never see her family again or get to say goodbye." Jensen voice broke and he buried his head in Jared's neck, his hand holding tight to Jared's shirt.

"Jensen, everyone gets scared, it's what makes us human and sane. We don't know for sure that's what happened to her. I'm not going to lie and say I don't think it's true, but we just don't know. I swear man, even if you'd have shouted it from the rooftops he'd have found someone else even if it wasn't that girl. He didn't rack up all the victims he's had by being an asshole, not to start off with. Cut yourself some slack. You were 24 years old, by yourself, in the hospital, and you'd been betrayed and almost sexually assaulted by someone you thought you could trust."

Jensen buried his face even closer, trying to breath Jared into his body. The scent and feel of him helping to ground and reassure him that he could survive anything. Jared pulled Jensen even closer, running his hands up and down Jensen's back, waiting for some of the tension to leave his boyfriend’s body. As Jensen started to relax the emotional and physical stress he'd been under started to take their toll, his eyes slowly drooping until they closed completely and his breathing evened out. Jared eased Jensen back onto the pillows but never released his hold. The detective's words echoed in his head over and over again.

He kissed Jensen's forehead, running his hand through the soft strands of light brown hair. Jared wouldn't survive if something happened to Jensen. He didn't care what it took, Kylan wasn't going to be a problem for anyone ever again.


	7. Chapter 7

Over the next day and a half, there was always someone with Jensen. Jared rarely left the hospital room, much less the hospital. He only went home for a quick shower and to visit the dogs, only staying gone a couple of hours at a time. Chris and Steve were in and out, while Mike and Tom stopped by the night before he was to be released. Dr. Patterson gave Jared several prescriptions to have filled and strict instructions on the care and feeding of one Jensen Ackles.

Jensen sat in the wheelchair glaring at the two men as they ignored him. Dr. Patterson finally turned, addressing Jensen.

"I gave Jared instructions about your meds because you’re on bed rest for the next week. The only places you are to go is from the bed to the couch or to the bathroom understand?"

Jensen nodded, trying hard not to cross his arms over his chest. He already felt like a five year old, he didn't want to look like one as well.

"If your temperature starts to climb, you experience chills or the coughing isn't being controlled by the Tussin, call me. I don't want to hear the ocean in your lungs at your checkup. Call my office and set that up for the beginning of the week." Dr. Patterson patted Jensen on the shoulder, shook Jared's hand and was out the door.

Jared leaned down and kissed the top of Jensen's head, before crouching down in front of him, trying to angle his head, so he could look Jensen in the face. He finally put a finger under Jensen's chin, lifting it until Jensen had to look at him.

"You know I just don't want you to be sick like that again."

"Yeah, but I'm not a kid," Jensen pouted.

"No you're not, but when you don't take care of yourself like you're supposed to, it's hard not to treat you like one," Jared said, laughing when Jensen stuck his tongue out.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was when you passed out? You wouldn't wake up, your fever was through the roof, and I couldn't do anything, but sit and wait for someone to tell me what was wrong." 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you Jay. I honestly didn't know it was that bad." Jensen said softly, squeezing Jared's hand.

"Well you're just going to have to get used to me being all in your personal space, because I don't intend for that to ever happen again," Jared said, dimples flashing.

Jensen snorted, "Since when have you not been in my personal space?"

"True, but now I have a free pass to nag the shit out of you when you don't take care of yourself," Jared informed him.

Jensen just rolled his eyes, since there really wasn't much he could say to that.

Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen's forehead as he stood up.

"Hey! What kind of kiss was that?" Jensen grumbled.

"The only kind you deserve right now," Jared answered, pushing the wheelchair to the door and into the hallway.

He leaned down next to Jensen's ear and whispered, "If I give you the kind of kiss, I want to, we won't be leaving anytime soon, and I don't think the whole 3rd floor needs to hear just how many curse words you can string together when I'm fucking you."

Jared straightened back up and headed for the elevators. Jensen groaned and shifted his overnight bag from his knees to his lap to hide the obvious effects Jared's words had on his body. Jared just grinned even bigger and started whistling out of tune while they waited for the elevator to stop.

Steve and Chris had the truck so Jared had called to tell them what time to be at the back entrance when Jensen was released. If anyone had found out about Jensen's hospital stay, Jared wanted to keep the coverage to a bare minimum. Especially, since it had been all they could do to keep Jensen's parents from flying out again.

They exited the doors to late afternoon gloom and Chad leaning against Mike's car, arms crossed, and a scowl on his face.

"Uh oh," Jensen whispered.

"What are you doing here?" Jared asked confused.

"I came to pick you up," Chad responded, pushing his body off the car and taking Jensen's overnight bag out of his lap.

"No, I mean what are you doing here, here."

"What Jared is so eloquently trying to ask is why are you in Vancouver?" Jensen translated, even though he already knew the answer.

"Oh. Is that what you wanted to know Jared?" Chad asked, scowling again.

"Well yeah?" Jared responded, nervously running his hand through his hair and pushing his bangs out of his face.

He leaned down and locked the brakes on the wheelchair and Chad moved the foot rests out of the way so Jensen could stand up.

"Well you see, I got this call the other night. Seems a couple of my friends were having some problems, and since they hadn't seen fit to call and tell me themselves Mike, being the 'good' friend he is, called and let me in on the secret." Chad said, helping Jensen stand while Jared held the wheelchair still.

"You guys do realize I can stand up on my own right?" Jensen asked, whining just a little.

"Oh yeah, that went so well before, jello legs," Jared said exasperated, referring to Jensen's failed attempt to make it to the bathroom solo the night before.

Jared had dozed off and Jensen decided not to wake him up, slipping out of the bed and making it just far enough into the middle of the room where there was nothing to hold onto before his legs started shaking, and refusing to function. It had been either wake Jared up or have him find an undignified heap of boyfriend on the floor, possibly in a puddle. Jared had not been pleased and Jensen cringed at the thought of hearing that particular lecture again.

"Fine," Jensen growled, glaring.

Jared just ignored him and pushed the chair back into the lobby while Chad helped Jensen into the car and shut the door. He settled into the driver's seat glancing back at Jensen through the rearview mirror. Jensen's head was resting on the back of the seat, and he was paler than Casper. Chad shook his head and frowned, waiting for Jared to climb in the passenger seat. He turned on a light jazz station to muffle the conversation he was going to have with Jared.

Chad planned on ripping his friend a new one for keeping him in the dark.

He knew it was Jared's decision not to call. They were all friends, but to avoid confusion, Jared and Jensen had a system for alerting them to plans, or emergencies. Jensen always called Tom, Steve and Chris. Jared always called him and Mike, except apparently this time Mike had to call him, and he was not happy about it at all. Jared slid into the seat, turning around to make sure Jensen was comfortable. He straightened back around and put his seat belt on when it appeared Jensen had dozed off.

"Now do you want to tell me why you didn't call?" Chad asked, pulling into traffic.

"You were filming, I didn't want you to get fired. You missed almost two weeks a couple of months back. I know you think you own the show, but you do have a contract."

"What do you mean I think I own the show? I do own the show," Chad declared.

"Whatever dip wad," Jared sighed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

He hoped Chad would drop it, but that thought was quickly shot down with Chad's next remark.

"I could have done some background shit. Mike says Jensen met this guy in Carolina, I do live down there nine months out of the year." Chad grumbled.

Jared rolled his head in Chad's direction and opened his eyes to stare at his friend. Chad glanced over and then back at the road.

"What? I do know how to read!"

"Yes, and when you finished reading you'd have hoped the first plane out."

"Still not seeing the problem," Chad persisted.

Jared sighed and closed his eyes again. Chad could be purposely oblivious when he wanted to be and Jared was too damn tired to keep arguing.

"He didn't want you to get hurt," came the quiet reply from the back seat, making both Jared and Chad jump.

"Damn it Jensen! You trying to make me wreck Mike's car?" Chad squawked, looking into the mirror at Jensen.

"I don't have to help for you to do that," Jensen replied, eyes still closed. "You looking at me instead of the road will get you there just as quick."

Chad looked back at the road, "I hate it when he does that Jedi shit."

Jared just grinned and looked back at Jensen who was still relaxing back into the seat.

"How do you live with him? He's just creepy!" Chad whined.

"You're just jealous," Jared said, laughing at Chad's incredulous look.

"Well, not because I want him. But just think of all the chicks I could bang using that parlor trick."

"I'm sure your girlfriend would love to hear that," Jared snarked.

"Girlfriend? What girlfriend?"

"You've gotten rid of her already?" Jared asked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Chad denied, pulling into Jared's driveway.

"I'm sure you don't," Jared acknowledged, rolling his eyes and opening the door, so he could help Jensen out.

Steve and Chris met them at the door, taking Jensen's bag and greeting Chad.

"Did you give him hell?" Chris asked.

"Yes, but not as much as he would have gotten if I'd have missed the ass whooping part," Chad said, getting louder at the end to make sure Jared could hear him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," floated back down the hallway, where Jared had disappeared with Jensen to get him settled.

Jensen wanted to lie on the couch but Jared had vetoed that idea in favor of the bed. He told Jensen once he had a nap and recovered from the afternoon exertions he could play with his friends. Jensen had given him the evil eye, making Jared really thankful that looks couldn't kill. Once he had Jensen settled under thick fluffy blankets, Jared stripped down, switched off the light and slid in beside him.

"If you'd have told me you were going to take a nap with me, I wouldn't have complained," Jensen scolded.

"Yes you would have, you'd have said you were being a terrible host, and that you shouldn't be sleeping while our friends were here. Then you would have told me to go entertain them, which last time I checked, they were all adults and could entertain themselves."

Jensen arched his eyebrow and waited.

"Okay fine, everyone but Chad and Mike are adults and can entertain themselves. I figure they can entertain each other, especially since that's where Chad is staying. We'll be lucky if we aren't bailing them out for blowing up something."

Jensen really hated that Jared knew him so well, because that's exactly what he would have said.

"You still don't have to lay down with me. You can go hang out with them if you want. I know you didn't get to see much of Chad before he had to fly out last time."

"I'm right where I want to be," Jared said, pulling Jensen's back even closer to his chest and wrapping his body around him.

"Besides, half of them are ready to disembowel me right now," Jared whispered.

Jensen snorted softly, words forming but never passing his lips as sleep snuck up on him and everything floated away.

Jared drifted off to the feel of warm skin pressed to his, Jensen's chest rising and falling under his hand and soft snores filling his ears.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared stumbled into the living room a couple of hours later, shocked by how quiet it was. He finally found Steve sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee.

"Where is everybody?" Jared asked, pouring himself a cup and sitting down.

"Chris and Chad went to get some food. I personally think they went cruising around to see if they can spot Kylan."

"Why didn't you stop them?" Jared asked alarmed.

"Jared. What are the chances of them actually seeing him walking down the side of the road? They just needed to do something, so why not let them. If I thought they'd actually find him, you can bet your ass I'd be there too."

Jared wasn't entirely convinced it was such a great idea, but he let it go since Jensen wanted to tell everybody about the latest information at the same time. Steve was probably right, Kylan wasn't going to be just strolling along making himself easy pickings.

"I called Mike. He and Tom are going to come by around six, and I told Chris to get everything for a steak dinner. Figured we could grill ' em in the garage, keep from freezing."

"There's a couple of space heaters out there too. Jensen swore there were icicles hanging off the rafters the last time we did that. Of course, man's prone to exaggeration when he whines." Jared said, shaking his head, and taking another swallow of coffee.

"I'm going to tell him you said that," Steve said.

Jared shrugged his shoulders. If he was lucky Jensen would punish him when he felt better.

Steve narrowed his eyes, watching Jared's face. "Never mind, you look like that would make you happy."

Jared just grinned and went back to drinking his coffee.

"Freaks," Steve mumbled under his breath.

"Oh please. You can't tell me you and Chris aren't?"

"You and me aren't what?" Chris asked stumbling in the door with his arms full of bags, Chad right behind him carrying more.

"Jesus! Did you leave anything on the shelves?" Jared asked, standing up to help.

"I got 'em. Go get the rest out of the car," Chris grunted, hefting the bags onto the counter.

When Jared got back to the kitchen, Steve was unloading the groceries, while Chris and Chad were guzzling caffeine.

"So what is it that me and Steve aren't?" Chris asked, setting his cup down reluctantly.

"Freaks," Jared replied, rooting through the bags.

"We're not?" Chris asked, arching an eyebrow and looking at Steve.

"We are so not discussing this with those two listening in," Steve answered.

"Oh thank God!" Chad exclaimed.

"Shut up, Chad!" they all three exclaimed.

"Jared if you'd take the stuff out instead of just rifling through them you could actually see what they got," Steve said, slapping Jared's hand away as he reached for another bag.

"What's the fun in that? Then I'll have to put things up," Jared complained.

Steve just rolled his eyes and pushed Jared out of his way, so he could get things put up.

"Go check on Jenny. Isn't it about time for him to have some medicine?" Chris asked.

Jared looked at his watch, and shook his head, "No, he's got about another hour before he needs his antibiotic and another two before he can take his cough medicine."

"What about that breathing treatment?" Chad piped in.

"Same time as the antibiotic, unless he's wheezing. I swear man, I'd rather have my toenails ripped out than tell him it's time for that treatment." Jared said cringing.

"Why it doesn't take but a couple of inhales? It's not like it's something he has to sit down and breathe for thirty minutes." Steve said.

"It's the side effects. It makes him jittery. The last time he did one, he complained about feeling like he was going to jump out of his skin. To make things worse, they want his intake of caffeine cut back until he's doing better," Jared explained.

"Shit, I'm glad I 'm staying with Mike," Chad said.

"You're all heart Chad," Steve snarked.

"Hell, I was thinking we were damn lucky to be staying at his old apartment." Chris confessed sheepishly, dodging the punch to the shoulder Steve aimed his way.

"You all suck you know that right?" Jared asked, flopping down in the chair and pouting.

"Oh, come on Jay, you lived with him almost a week without coffee, we figured you could do it again." Chris reasoned.

"We had instant, so we didn't have to go cold turkey, and we were otherwise occupied so it wasn't so bad," Jared whined.

"Oh jeez," Chad moaned, covering his ears with his hands.

"Chad we know you're jealous, so just shut up," Steve said, tossing a pot holder at Chad's head.

"Man, ya'll whine if I start talking about the last girl I was with. Why can't I whine about my friends getting it on," Chad complained.

"Because that's what good friends do. They listen to all the get laid stories," Jared said, grinning.

"Yeah, so why don't you want to listen to mine?"

"There is a line to listening to you talk about your sex life and being given a play by play of every little thing that took place with some chick you met at a bar," Jensen said, shuffling into the kitchen.

"Damn it! Would you PLEASE stop doing that!" Chad said, trying to mop up the coffee he'd just spilt down the front of his shirt.

Jared couldn't take his eyes off Jensen as he made his way around the table. Jensen's hair was sticking up all over his head where he'd run his fingers through it, his eyes were soft with sleep, and he had put his glasses on, not bothering with his contacts. His lips were chapped from the fever and red and swollen from his attempts to chew off the dead skin. He was still paler than Jared wanted to ever see him but it made his freckles more visible and Jared caught himself watching every breath Jensen took just to see them dance across his skin.

Jensen completely ignored Chad, stopping when he was standing beside Jared's chair. Jared reached up and pulled Jensen down into his lap, kissing the top of his head. Jensen grabbed the cup, drinking down the last few swallows of coffee.

"Hey, I didn't think you were supposed to have any coffee!" Chad exclaimed.

"I'm supposed to cut back not quit," Jensen corrected, glaring at him.

Chad held up his hands in a sign of surrender. "See Mike's place good, very good."

"Ass," Jared mumbled.

"If you're nice," Jensen whispered.

"See? Freaks," Steve asserted.

"I was talking to Chad," Jared said.

"You'd rather have Chad's, instead of mine?" Jensen asked, bottom lip poking out.

"Hey! Leave my ass out of this." Chad whined.

"Gladly," Jared said laughing.

Chris snickered into his coffee and Steve rolled his eyes.

"Mike and Tom should be over in an hour. The guys went grocery shopping and Chris is going to grill some steaks. Why don't we go ahead and get you settled in the living room, and I'll put in that new movie you wanted to watch?" Jared asked.

"What time is it?" Jensen asked, looking down at his arm, forgetting he'd left his watch in the bedroom.

"It's almost six. Why?" Jared answered, wrapping his arms around Jensen's waist and holding on just a little tighter.

"Wasn't Detective Patterson supposed to call or stop by around seven or eight? Plus I don't want to start watching something and have to stop in the middle of it. We can watch it another time."

"Oh joy," Jared groaned.

"Hey, just because you're a movie snob doesn't mean I have to be. Some of the best movies are low budget class B flicks," Jensen defended.

"I guess I should just be happy it's not foreign with dubbed English, then I'd really have to find me a new boyfriend," Jared teased.

"Yeah, you try that. See how they like you being a eunuch," Jensen huffed.

The simultaneous groans heard around the table were funny enough but Chad using the cookie plate as extra protection was even funnier, especially since he'd forgotten there were cookies still on it. Jared was giving him extremely dirty looks.

"Come on before you cause any more chaos," Jared said, lifting Jensen off his lap, and steadying him until he found his balance.

"The fireplace is lit. I'll get you that soft blanket you like, then I'll get you your medicine."

"Which medicine?" Jensen asked suspiciously.

"Your antibiotic and the breathing treatment," Jared answered, preparing himself for a fight, and Jensen didn't disappoint.

"I don't want the breathing thing," Jensen whined.

"I don't care if you want it, the doctor told you it would help you breath and break up the congestion in your chest," Jared stated firmly as he pulled Jensen into the living room.

"I'll take the antibiotics Jay, but you know I hate that Albuterol shit."

Chris was standing in the doorway, his shoulder propped against the jam, "Jensen, you're going to take exactly what the doctor told you to take, and I guarantee, if we have to, there's enough of us here to hold you down and make you."

Jared was actually relieved at the support, but he also knew backing Jensen into a corner was not a good plan. He could already see the stiffening in Jensen's posture and the rigid set to his jaw. Things were going to get out of hand pretty damn quick if he didn't do something.

"Hey Chris. Can you go get me that blue fuzzy blanket that's on the end of our bed?" Jared asked, waiting for Jensen to take a seat on the sofa.

"Sure, I'll be right back," Chris agreed. He seemed to realize that he might have pushed a little too hard this time.

"Jen, don't."

"Don't what? Give him a black eye, or don't give him a fat lip?" Jensen growled.

"He just wants to make sure you get better, and so do I. This may make you feel like shit right now but in the long run it'll be worth it, I swear," Jared pleaded.

Jensen finally relented and sat down on the couch, curling up in the corner and closing his eyes. He took a couple of deep breaths and tried to get his temper back under control.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't like feeling that way. It's like bugs are crawling all over me," Jensen sighed.

"I'm sorry. I can call Dr. Patterson and see if they can reduce the dosage we put in the thing, or if he can give you something else," Jared offered.

"He can't I already asked."

"Mike just called. He and Tom are on their way over, so I'm going to go start the grill. Here's that blanket," Chris said, handing it to Jared.

"Okay. Do you need any help?" Jared asked as he tucked the blanket around Jensen's legs, only to have him spread them out to give it some slack.

"No, I'll get Steve or Chad to be my indentured servant. You can stay here with Jenny."

"I swear, if you don't stop calling me that I'm going to cut all the strings on your guitar," Jensen threatened.

"Shit, you're fucking mean tonight," Chris pouted, heading to the kitchen before Jensen got around to cutting other things off.

Jensen gave him the finger as he walked by and then snuggled into the blanket. It was going to be a long night. Between informing the guys on the latest Kylan shit, and getting a new update from the detective, it was going to be a fun filled evening.

"I'll go get your medicine," Jared said, leaning down and kissing Jensen on the forehead.

"Oh fun," Jensen snarked.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Eric called right before they ate. He told Jared he was sending a load of get well wishes, presents and, as Eric put it, all kinds of shit over. He figured if Jensen was on strict bed rest then he would enjoy having something to do. Mike and Tom had come bearing beer and such huge appetites, Jared was beginning to feel like his crown was in danger of being usurped. They finished super, and Tom and Steve cleaned up the kitchen, while Chris finished with the grill. Chad and Mike were bickering over the candy that had arrived with boxes and boxes of fan love.

Jared was calling out the names attached to the flowers and plants while Jensen was slowly making his way through the mound of cards in his lap. Chris was still in a state of shock when he went back into the garage, mumbling about how actors were way too easily bought, to which Steve reminded him, he still had a SAG card. Jensen laughed so hard it caused a long coughing fit. Steve was the only one in the house that could call them on the actor bullshit, since he was the only one that hadn't took that little cart for a spin.

Once everyone was settled in the living room Jensen and Jared told them everything that they and Detective Patterson had talked about. Steve's face was starting to turn an unhealthy shade of red and Jensen was positive he could hear Chris grinding his teeth before they had even gotten to the part about the woman in Australia. Jensen had already filled everyone in on how he met Kylan, the fight and the subsequent stalking. Jared picked up the story when Jensen started coughing.

Tom disappeared into the kitchen, coming back with Jensen's cough syrup and a bottle of water, which Jensen took gratefully. Jared wasn't too sure how much longer Jensen would be awake once he took his medicine so he wanted to wrap up pretty soon. He might be bigger than Jensen but the man was six feet of muscle, and dead weight was virtually impossible to get off the couch.

"So anyway Jensen's not the first or the last that things got physical with, but he's the only one Kylan's put in the hospital, or at least that we know so far." Jared paused glancing over at Jensen, who was making a sour face. He wasn't sure if it was from the topic of conversation or the taste of the syrup.

"I feel a ‘but’ coming," Tom observed sitting back in his chair.

"There was a girl in Australia, her name was Alisha. No one's heard from her in three years," Jared said, voice pitched low at the gravity of the situation.

"What do you mean no one's heard anything from her?" Mike asked.

"He means this woman had the unfortunate luck to meet Kylan and start dating him. She disappeared when they were supposed to be on a weekend getaway. Kylan told the police he was called away on a job, which was substantiated by the production crew, and that he thought she was going to stay home and maybe hang out with some friends. Her job called her parents when she didn't show up from work the next week," Jensen explained.

"So what do they think happened?" Chris growled.

"The police are of the opinion that something went wrong between the two. Maybe a fight got carried away, and he killed her. They haven't found her body, and they went over her apartment and her car, but didn't find anything. So without a crime scene, they don't even have a place to start other than Kylan. There wasn't any evidence that would allow them to hold him much less charge him, but they have his passport flagged so they know if he enters the country," Jared answered, heaving a sigh.

"Fuck," Steve breathed.

"Detective Patterson is supposed to either come by later or call. Jensen still has to sign his statement and the detective is going to let us know if they've figured out where Kylan is staying," Jared explained.

"Which means that Jensen is not to be left on his own until Kylan is gone or, better yet, dead," Chris snarled.

"Hey, isn't your doctor's name Patterson?" Chad asked.

"You just heard them tell us Kylan is probably a murderer and your worried about who Jensen's doctor is?" Mike asked, incredulously.

"What? I'm confused and it's not like I can go beat the shit out of the dude. Nobody knows where he is," Chad justified.

Jared just shook his head and laughed. Chad would always be Chad.

"Yes, the detective is his brother, actually his identical twin. Confused the shit out of us too," Jensen explained.

"Well, there's not much we can do tonight. I think we all need to get some sleep and come up with a game plan tomorrow. Jared you want one of us to stay here tonight?" Steve asked.

"Nah, I think we'll be fine, the house came with a security system, so I'll set it. I just have to go find the damn code."

"All right. Well, if you need anything, give one of us a call. We can go get it, that way Jensen won't be alone," Chris ordered.

Jensen just rolled his eyes at his friend’s over protectiveness. He really was thankful to have them, but he knew before all was said and done he was going to be ready to strangle at least one if not every last man. A yawn caught him by surprise as Jared was seeing everyone out. It had been a long day even with the nap, and they still had to wait for the detective. He went back to opening the letters and cards the office had sent over, smiling at the get well wishes and the pictures that some of the younger fans had drawn.

He lifted up a particularly colorful envelope, figuring it would have another picture inside. He sliced it open and pulled out a typical get well card. Smiling at the picture of a turtle with a thermometer in it's mouth, he flipped it open only to discover several pictures and a carefully scripted list of all the things Kylan was planning on doing to him once they were reunited. Jensen hadn't even looked at the pictures, his mind still caught on the fact that Kylan had managed to invade his personal space again, even if it wasn't in person.

Jared walked back into the living room, a suggestion of watching the game in their bedroom, dying on his lips as he caught sight of Jensen's pale face and his trembling body.

"Jensen?" he asked, rushing to the couch, worry exploding through him when Jensen neither acknowledged him nor moved his eyes from the card he was holding.

"Jen, what's wrong?" Jared tried again, slowly dropping to his knees beside the sofa. He didn't want to startle Jensen. The man looked like he'd bolt at the first sudden move.

Jared looked down at the card Jensen was holding, but it was the pictures that had slid into his lap that caught Jared's attention. There were pictures of them leaving the hospital, of them arriving at the house and there were even a few showing Jared closing the blinds to their bedroom. However, the one that terrified the hell out of Jared was the picture of a young woman, tied naked to a bed, her eyes staring into the camera. Jared wasn't positive, since he'd never seen someone dead that wasn't in a casket, but he didn't think she was alive. The angle the picture had been taken was as if someone was standing over her.

Jared grabbed a tissue and quickly scooped them up, laying them on the table and covering them with the tissue. He didn't want Jensen even looking at them. The card he was holding must have been bad enough if he hadn't even noticed the pictures. Jared carefully removed the card from Jensen's hand, laying it on the table as well. He'd read it later, after he dealt with his catatonic boyfriend.

"Jensen. Baby. Come on you have to snap out of it. Hey look, at me," Jared begged, raising Jensen's chin, waiting for the other man to focus on his face.

"Jensen, talk to me damn it!" Jared's worry overriding his patience.

Jensen finally blinked, the vacant look leaving his eyes, followed swiftly by fear. He grabbed Jared's face dragging him forward and kissing him hard on the mouth. Before Jared could even react, he'd been pulled into a hug so tight he could hear his bones creaking.

Jensen wasn't stupid. He was scared, but he was scared for Jared, because the only way Kylan would be able to carry out his list was to go through Jared. He knew he was squeezing to hard, but he couldn't pull back. If he was touching Jared, then he was safe.

"Jensen we need to call the detective, and if I don't call Chris, there's going to be hell to pay," Jared gasped.

"I know, just give me a minute," Jensen said, still not letting go.

He was finally able to release his death grip several minutes later, after talking himself and his muscles into letting go. Jared was on the phone with the detective before he had even settled back on the couch. Jensen picked up the envelope like it might bite him and placed it on the table with the card, noticing for the first time the pictures that he subconsciously registered sliding into his lap but hadn't looked at. He picked up the tissue, using it to spread the photos out so he could see them all.

Jared had just hung up and was about to call Chris when he saw Jensen bolt for the bathroom, the sound of retching quickly following. He glanced over at the table and saw the pictures had been spread out.

"Shit!"

He made his way to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth from the closet. Jensen was still curled around the toilet, supper making a reappearance in a very unpleasant way. He waited until the worst seemed to have passed, handing Jensen a cup of water to rinse his mouth out.

"She was dead wasn't she?"

"I don't know, we'll give them to Detective Patterson and see what he thinks. Come on, brush your teeth, and I'll go grab you some sweats, and don't even argue. You’re shivering and the police aren't going to give a shit what you're wearing."

Jensen gave him a half hearted glare, standing so he could get to the sink. He finished up just as Jared returned with his clothes.

"Why don't you lay down until they get here, and I'll go call Chris right quick," Jared said, helping Jensen into his shirt.

"Can't we wait until tomorrow to call Chris?" Jensen begged, following Jared down the hall.

"I don't think I'd get off without a broken jaw if I did that this time."

"Fine," Jensen sighed, crawling into the bed and letting Jared pull the covers up over him.

Once he had Jensen tucked in, he called Chris, letting him know about the pictures, and the police being on their way to the house. Chris said they'd be there in ten minutes and hung up. Jared walked back into the living room to sit down on the couch. He left the pictures where they were, not wanting to disturb them anymore than they already had. His eyes fell on the card. He hadn't even thought about what must have been in it to have affected Jensen the way it had.

He used the tissue and flipped it open reading quickly through the nauseating professions of love and ownership until he came to the same list Jensen had read. It was bullet points encompassing all the ways in which Kylan intended to reclaim Jensen. Jared wasn't sure if he was angry or horrified. He finally settled on a combination of both.

Chris and Steve made it back to the house right before Detective Patterson showed up. They both made a bee line for the table, as soon as they walked in the door because they knew once the police bagged everything as evidence, they wouldn't be able to look at it. They kept their hands in their pockets, which was probably a good thing since Jared was pretty sure they both wanted to strangle someone.

The detective showed up followed closely by a gentleman from the crime unit, both arriving in unmarked cars, making Jared breathe a sigh of relief that everything might remain out of the news a little longer. Steve slipped back into the room, from checking on Jensen, just as Jared was introducing the detective. Detective Patterson shook their hands and reminded Jared to call him Garrett

"Jensen's asleep," Steve said.

"I thought he might be, between the cough medicine and the shock of this. He even emptied his stomach, put all that together, and he's probably out for the rest of the night, unless he has a nightmare," Jared acknowledged.

"Well, we're going to take these and have them analyzed, see if we can get any prints off them. How many of you have touched them?" Garrett asked.

"Just Jensen. He was opening his mail and when I came back in the room he was almost catatonic. Took me forever to get him to focus, and he hadn't even seen the pictures at that point. I used the tissue to move everything."

"Okay, I'll come back over tomorrow and get statements from you both," Garrett said.

It didn't take long for the tech to collect and bag everything and then the house was silent again. Chris and Steve left after some prompting and promises to set the alarm, telling Jared they'd be back first thing in the morning. He looked in on Jensen, who hadn't moved since he'd crawled in the bed, then he quickly found the code and set it before jumping in the shower. Jared brushed his teeth and shed his towel, padding nude into the bedroom and sliding into the bed.

He pulled Jensen into his body, taking comfort from the solid presence he was wrapped around. It didn't take long for sleep to claim him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris and Steve had obviously called the reinforcements. Jared opened the door to Tom at seven in the morning, and he knew they were serious when. at 7:30, Mike and Chad beat on the door. Those two didn't get out of bed until noon if they weren't filming. Chris and Steve made it over around eight and with breakfast, bless their souls. Jensen was still sleeping, and Jared was able to go over everything that had happened after they left without having to upset him.

Jared would never ever consider Jensen a hothouse flower that needed to be coddled, but he wanted to shield him from as much as possible. Jared knew he was over protective of people he loved, but honestly he wouldn't change, even if he could.

"So does this guy think that girl was dead?" Chad asked.

"He said she had that waxy parlor and milky color to her eyes that dead people get, plus he noticed markings around her neck. He was going to have them blow it up and see what else they could get off it," Jared answered, quickly losing his appetite.

"Well, at least they know for sure she's not wandering around with amnesia somewhere, even though that would be a hell of a lot better than dead," Chris mumbled.

"Yeah, but her family will know for sure. It would be nice if they had her remains though," Tom added.

"This just sucks! Seriously, this guy is just fucked up!" Mike exclaimed.

"I called a friend that does documentaries, see if I could find out anymore about this dick. She's supposed to get back to me later today," Chad said, pushing his plate away from him.

"Friend?" Jensen scoffed, walking up behind Chad, causing him to knock over his juice.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Chad yelled, grabbing napkins.

Jensen snickered as he walked past on his way to the fridge. Jared was laughing so hard he was crying, and Steve was beating on Chris' back where he'd almost inhaled a piece of bacon. Tom had lapsed into giggles, which had Mike grabbing his sides trying to breath.

"You know, one of these days I'm going to be armed when you do that!" Chad grumbled.

"Yes, but we all know you shoot blanks," Jensen said, batting his eyelashes at him.

"Condom dude, not blanks," Chad corrected.

"Oh God no, don't even get him started," Jared begged, wiping his eyes.

"I was just wondering what sort of friend?" Jensen asked innocently.

"The kind that's 5'10" of tight, toned ass and DD tits," Chad said, making motions with his hands to explain.

"That's what I thought," Jensen said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, just cause she's pretty doesn't mean she doesn't have a brain," Chad defended. "I mean look at you."

Jared snorted his coffee through his nose. He wasn't sure, but coffee straight to the brain might kill you. Of course, the look Jensen was shooting Chad might do it too. Everyone else, though, was laughing too hard to care that Chad might not make it back to North Carolina in one piece.

When everyone had calmed down and the kitchen had been cleaned up, they set about making plans to keep Kylan the fuck away from them. Jensen wasn't pleased with everyone putting themselves at risk, but he was outnumbered so there wasn't much he could do about it. Jared felt they had a pretty good game plan between them, and on top of that, Garrett was going to make sure that they would have an unmarked car outside, plus increased patrols through the area.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been five days since the card and photos had set everyone on edge and Jensen was sure if he didn't kill somebody today, he deserved a freaking award. He hadn't had a minute to himself, unless he was sleeping, and it was starting to wear on his nerves. There had been no more mail, no visits or phone calls, and no one could seem to find just where Kylan was. For all they knew, he could have been three countries away. They knew he wasn't though, because his passport hadn't been used, and that just pissed Jensen off even more.

Everyone had been taking turns staying at the house, and Garrett had come by several times, checking on the patrol stationed outside as well as taking their statements and keeping them informed. Eric had called and asked Jared to come in for a few of hours to do some interviews and Steve had decided to stay put, sending Chris with Jared to put Jensen's mind at ease. Ever since the card, Jensen refused to let him go anywhere alone.

Jensen had just gotten in the shower when the doorbell rang. Steve knew it wasn't one of the guys because they always used the side door and the bell was ringing at the front. He never noticed the small puddle of water he stepped in when he looked through the peak hole. There was a delivery man standing on the steps looking down at a clipboard he had in one hand. The other carried a large basket of what looked like assorted fruits.

Steve rolled his eyes, muttering about actors and their goodie bags as he turned off the alarm and reached for the doorknob, intending to sign for the item. He felt a white hot pain shoot through his body and then nothing.


	8. Chapter 8

Jared thought about calling and checking on Jensen, but he knew his boyfriend was starting to feel smothered. Jensen enjoyed being with his friends, but he also had to have his down time, when it was just him and whatever he had chosen to do in order to decompress. Three hours into the interview and photo shoot, Chris appeared at the door, worry creasing his forehead.

"Hey can you take a break?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" Jared asked, signaling that he needed a minute.

"Have you tried to call Jensen?"

"No. Why?" He responded, fear stealing its way down his spine.

"I can't get hold of Steve and Jensen's phone keeps going to voicemail. It's been like that for the last fifteen minutes. I thought maybe you'd talked to him." Chris said, running his fingers through his hair.

"Let me tell them I have to go." Jared said, already pulling off the audio equipment. "You go get the truck. I'll meet you out front."

Jared quickly explained that an emergency had come up and promised to reschedule. He exited the building, panic speeding his already long stride into overdrive.

"I called the detective," Chris said as Jared buckled his seat belt.

"What did he say?"

"He'd get dispatch to call the car and find out what was going on, then he'd give us a call back," Chris answered, accelerating around slower moving traffic, which at the moment was all of it.

"Chad and Mike were supposed to be heading over there a couple of hours ago. Did you try them?" Jared asked.

"Yeah, Steve told them to come by a little later. Jen was just getting up from a nap and talking about taking a shower, and then they were going to sit down with the guitars for a little while. Steve thought it would help calm some of Jensen's nerves. They're headed over now but we'll still probably beat them."

Jared's phone started chirping, cutting off his reply. He glanced down, praying it was Jensen, but it was Detective Patterson's number on the screen.

"Hello," Jared answered, heart in his throat.

"Jared, I'm on my way over to your house. Dispatch can't get the officer to answer. I don't want you going in before I get there. Do you understand?" Garrett's gruff voice cut across the line.

"Yeah, I understand," Jared responded.

"But it doesn't mean you're going to listen does it?" Garrett sighed.

"No, I'm sorry. If Jensen and Steve are in trouble, I'm not going to stand outside and wait for someone to show up while they're being hurt."

"I didn't think so. Just watch yourself okay?" Garrett said before hanging up.

"We'll be there in a minute. How do you want to go in?" Chris asked, tightening his grip on the wheel as he took a corner at speeds twice the posted limit. 

"I'd say front and side. The dogs were in the back yard, so I don't see anybody trying that way, unless they wanted to take them on." Jared paused, he hadn't even thought about the dogs being hurt.

Chris glanced over at Jared's silence, noticing the stricken look.

"I'm sure they're fine Jared. He's not going to make it obvious he's there. If the dogs suddenly went quiet or nuts it'd give the game away. Do you want front or side?"

"I'll go side, you go front." Jared figured if anyone got jumped it would be him since the garage had a few places to hide in.

"We should drive by the patrol car, shouldn't we?" Jared asked.

"Unless he moved from this morning, he should be on our side of the road, why?"

"Because if he's not answering his radio, I want to check on him," Jared answered, even though everything in him clambered that he find Jensen first.

Chris gave a short nod, not trusting himself to speak. He knew it was the right thing to do, but the delay made him grind his teeth together to keep from yelling in frustration.

Jared grabbed for the dashboard as Chris swung onto their street, coming to a tire screeching halt beside the police car. They could already see the slumped form of the officer behind the wheel. Jared jumped out, and gently leaned the man back. Chris was cussing a blue streak behind him, already calling for help.

"Is he alive?" Chris shouted.

Jared felt for a pulse, finally finding a slow thready tap against his fingers.

"Yeah, but he's not doing good. Tell them it's a cop and to hurry the fuck up," Jared yelled back.

Jared leaned through the window and covered the man with a blanket the best he could around the zip ties that bound his hands to the wheel. He jumped back in the truck and Chris floored it the last few feet to the driveway, Jared was out of the truck before it came to a complete stop. He entered the garage, not bothering to be quiet. figuring if Kylan were still here he would've already heard the trucks approach.

He quickly made his way to the bedroom, already knowing Jensen was gone. The house was too quiet, and the dogs were outside at the backdoor whining to be let in. The bedroom was humid where Jensen had obviously taken a shower, water still on the floor, puddles still apparent from when he'd gotten out. Jared stood looking around, trying to determine how long they'd been gone. He didn't think it could have been too long, since the floor hadn't had a chance to dry. At most he guessed, maybe, thirty minutes.

Jared was pulled out of his thoughts by frantic shouting. He rushed down the hall, skidding to a stop when he caught sight of Chris desperately searching for a pulse on Steve's still body.

"Jared! He's not breathing," Chris' voice broke.

Jared knelt down beside Steve, taking in the blue tint to his lips, and the graying parlor of his skin. He gently pushed Chris toward Steve's head.

"You breath for him, I'll do the chest compressions. Help will be here soon," Jared reassured, clearing his mind and starting the count.

Chris nodded shakily and cleared Steve's airway, refusing to think of anything but the repetition of breathing for his boyfriend.

Jared had no idea how long they had been doing CPR. He never heard Chad and Mike come in, both yelling into their phones for help. He never registered the ambulances sirens screaming outside the house, only becoming aware of the EMT's when Mike and Chad pulled him away from Steve so the professionals could take over. Jared's arms vacillated between feeling like lead weights and jello, the strain starting to make him shake all over.

Chris refused to move more than a few feet away and when they set the paddles to Steve's chest and sent the pulse of electrical current to his heart. A sound tore from Chris that Jared hoped he never heard from another human being, as long as he lived. It took another jolt from the defib unit and a shot of adrenaline to get Steve's heart beating at a rhythm where they felt comfortable enough to move him. When the ambulance pulled away, Chris was in the back, holding onto Steve's hand. Jared didn't envy the person that tried to separate them at the hospital.

Tom made it to the house just as the ambulance was leaving and he volunteered to follow it to the hospital so Chris wouldn't be alone. Mike and Chad were sitting in the living room trying to stay out of the crime scene unit's way, and at the same time, pump them for information.

"Jared."

Jared turned to look at Detective Patterson.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come look around and see if he took anything?" Garrett asked.

"Besides Jensen you mean?" Jared asked sarcastically.

"I'm sorry Jared. We underestimated him, but we'll find him, and we'll get Jensen back."

"Yeah, okay," Jared sighed deflating.

He walked back through the house, his eyes skimming over the basics. When he got to the bedroom he realized that both Jensen's glasses and contacts were gone. He spun around nearly knocking Garrett over as he rushed to the kitchen. Jared sagged with relief when he saw that Jensen's medicines were gone as well.

"What's missing Jared?"

"His glasses, contacts and all his medicine," Jared ticked off the list. "But that's good right? If Kylan took his medicine, it means he doesn't want to kill him," Jared asked hopefully.

Mike grimaced behind Garrett. He was pretty sure Kylan didn't give a damn about Jensen getting sick except for the fact it would get in the way of his fun.

Garrett didn't lie to people, but he didn't go out of his way to be callous either, and if he could soften the blow when he could he did.

"Anything that helps Jensen is a good thing," he said, after a pause, trying to word his answer carefully.

He heard the quiet release of breath behind him and knew that while Jared hadn't quite let reality sink in, his friends had no such illusions as to why Kylan had chosen to take the medicine. They also knew exactly why he'd chosen to answer Jared in the way he had, and he was certain they appreciated it, if he understood the quick pat and squeeze to his shoulder.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A moan worked its way up Jensen's throat, only to be muffled by the gag wedged into his mouth, which was still confusing to Jensen's muddled brain. His last coherent memory had been walking into the bedroom, toweling his hair dry, another slung around his waist. He'd thought he heard a noise and was turning to see if Steve needed something when his arms were pinned to his side and a foul smelling rag was placed over his mouth and nose. Everything shifted out of focus, and then he couldn't remember anything until now, and now wasn't so wonderful either. Jensen wasn't sure if it was from the rag or the combination of that and all the medicine he was on mixing together, which might be why he went down so fast too.

He tried to move his arms and legs, but they came to an abrupt stop. He hadn't been brave enough to try and open his eyes yet, the fear of nausea tilting his stomach and choking him to death on his own vomit while gagged was not an option he wanted to entertain. Chris would say it was the rock star method, to which of course Steve would remind him he sung country so what would he know about it. Jensen swallowed the lump in his throat at the thought of Steve. The only way Kylan would have gotten to him was through Steve, that realization chilled Jensen to the bone.

Jensen tried to get control of the fear threatening to overwhelm him. He needed to be able to hear what was going on around him, and he couldn't do that with his heart pounding in his ears. God he'd pay money to have Alec's X-5 senses right now.

He finally managed to crack his eyes open, only to be met with an all encompassing darkness. Jensen had never really liked the dark, and he could feel his heart start to pick up. Everything felt like it was closing in around him, suffocating him.

He started taking slow deep inhales, letting them out in long even exhales, trying to slow his heartbeat again and focus his mind, so he could concentrate on how to get himself out of this mess. Who said cheer camp wouldn't come in handy, not that he'd ever admit that out loud. After a few minutes, he was able to make out the crackle and snap of a fire but it must have been on the other side of the room, since he wasn't getting toasted on one side or the other. Jensen wrinkled his nose at the smell of gutted fish, damn, and I just took a shower too.

He strained his ears and could just make out the sound of snowmobiles buzzing in the distance, too far away, even if he weren't gagged. The longer he listened, though, he realized there were no other sounds coming from the place he was being held. There were no other movements or breathing. Either Kylan wasn't inside, or he was in another room entirely. Jensen shifted to the side, trying to see how much maneuverability he had. His wrists were cuffed around a slat in the headboard and his feet were tied at the footboard to two separate slats about a foot apart.

It was when he moved his legs to see how well they were tied that he realized he still had no clothes on, the scratchy material of the sheets and blanket catching on his skin, making him shudder in revulsion. He let out a small whimper that was lost behind the pressure of the gag. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to slow his breathing back down. It had inadvertently sped up at the realization of just how vulnerable he was. He'd almost gotten the light headed lack of oxygen feeling under control when a door slammed, shocking him so badly he jumped, nearly dislocating his shoulder.

Jensen immediately froze every movement, his breath stalling in his lungs, trying to determine where Kylan was located. He heard a thump from his left, the sound of something being set down, but nothing else. He could just barely make out the shallow sounds of breathing, but it was so low it was impossible to pinpoint where it was coming from. His neck ached from holding it so still, the urge to swing it from side to side trying to find the threat almost overwhelming, but he wouldn't give Kylan the satisfaction of showing his fear.

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy breaking you," Kylan breathed.

Jensen jerked away from the voice that was right beside him. He felt the bed dip as Kylan's weight settled beside his hip.

"You know, the first thing that drew me to you wasn't even your looks. Although, let's face it," Kylan purred, running his thumb across Jensen's bottom lip. "Those cock sucking lips and huge eyes don't hurt, do they?"

Kylan threaded his fingers through the short strands of hair and pulled as Jensen tried to yank his head away, "No, it was that spark I saw in your eyes. I knew you'd be a fighter."

Hot breath fell across Jensen's face before Kylan leaned in and bit down on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

Kylan chuckled at the growl coming from Jensen that the gag couldn't muffle.

The bed dipped even further as Kylan bent down next to Jensen's ear. "I saw it though," his voice betraying the pride, he felt in his warped accomplishment. "I knew you'd put up a fight. I've been looking for someone worthy of being mine for a long time. I've had lots of toys. They don't seem to last as long as they used to, always getting broken so easily," Kylan whispered, sliding his free hand along the naked length of Jensen's side, smiling when the man tried to twist away.

"But you baby, I've been watching you since you broke my jaw. It's time for you to learn just who you belong to and exactly what your place is." He punctuated his statement by licking along the shell of Jensen's ear and swirling his tongue inside.

Jensen tried to move his head away again, coming to a halt when Kylan's teeth clamped down on his ear lobe hard enough that a struggle would probably rip a good chunk of it off, which really wouldn't get him anywhere but hurt. He gritted his teeth while Kylan continued to touch and taste him for what felt like an eternity but was really only a few minutes. The mattress shifted again and Jensen felt knees settle on either side of him, the churning in his stomach increasing to an acidic burn.

Jensen's whole body stiffened as Kylan's weight settled on top of him, erection digging into the hard plane of Jensen's stomach as his tormenter rocked against him. Kylan's hands moved up along Jensen's bound arms, pressing them down into the bed, giving him added leverage to rut against the unmoving body beneath him. Jensen couldn't even think straight. His mind kept trying to separate from the rest of him. He knew he should be thankful that he was at least covered with a blanket, but the little voice in his head kept supplying the helpful reminder that next time he wouldn't be so lucky.

His breath hitched when he realized that Kylan was fumbling with the button to his pants, the unmistakable sound of a zipper being lowered, echoing in his ear. He tensed, waiting for the shock of cold air that would follow the blanket being pulled away, but it never came. He heard the distinct sounds of flesh on flesh and Kylan's knees tightened around his hips, a groan escaping the man hovering above him. Jensen could smell the musky scent of spilled semen and felt the wet heat slowly seeping through the blanket covering his stomach.

Kylan's breath brushed across his cheek, moving down unitl he was hovering beside Jensen's ear again. "Next time I think we'll make sure you get to participate," he threatened, the bed shifting as he moved to stand up.

Jensen's muscles seized when he was pulled onto his side as far as he would go in the restraints. Kylan placed a pillow behind his back keeping him at the odd angle, a touch to the back of his head making him jump.

"I'm going to take the gag off so you can take your medicine. I would prefer to leave it off in case you get sick, but I'll put it back on if you feel the need to make a bunch of noise, not that anyone can hear us. Do you understand?"

Jensen nodded his head, absolutely ready to agree to no noise just to get the gag off even if he was lying through his teeth and planning on making plenty of noise when the right time presented itself. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to work the stiffness out of his jaw. Kylan pushed a pill against his lips, and he opened his mouth just wide enough to allow it inside.

"Wider," Kylan demanded.

Jensen ground his teeth together before opening his mouth a fraction of an inch wider. His jaw was grabbed in brutal grip and forced open to Kylan's satisfaction. Jensen felt fingers invade his mouth, running along the ridges at the roof of his mouth and stroking along his tongue, the taste of come registering before they slid all the way back until his gag reflex took over.

"Come on Jensen, I know you can do this. Breathe through your nose."

Jensen struggled to relax the muscles in his throat, Kylans fingers going deeper until the pill cleared the back of his tongue, and he was able to swallow it. He wanted to bite down so badly, but with Kylan holding his jaw open, he didn't get the chance. He stayed quiet through his tormentor sliding his fingers in and out, mimicking what he was promising to do with his dick later. Kylan finally relented, pulling his fingers free and rubbing the saliva into Jensen's lips and face.

Jensen grunted as the pillows was pulled from behind his back, his body thumping against the bed. His body stiffened when Kylan moved the covers and he only relaxed again when Kylan finished straightening them and stepped away.

"I hope you don't need to use the bathroom, because I don't have time to take you right now. I would suggest if you do that you hold it. I won't be pleased if you have an accident before I get back. I've got some things to get for our first play date, and I'm sure you'll love them."

Jensen bit his tongue against the need to tell Kylan to fuck himself. The sooner the bastard left, the sooner he could find a way out. He heard Kylan moving around the room, a chair scraping across the floor, a drill of some sort being used. Jensen cringed at the sound of chains being dropped on the floor. He was almost happy he was blindfolded. The sound of the door opening and shutting some time later had Jensen relaxing into the bed for several minutes just listening to the quiet around him. He waited for a little while and when Kylan didn't come back and there were no noises from outside. Then, he started trying to get the blindfold off in earnest.

It took him longer than he'd hoped and quite a bit of hair loss, but he finally managed to work it loose. He figured he should be thankful it wasn't a fucking hood. Even though the sun was starting to set, the light filtering in through the small window over the bed made his eyes water. Jensen looked around, taking in what appeared to be a fishing shack. He knew there were dozens of cabins scattered along several different lakes, since he and the guys had stayed in one last spring, but during the winter most of them were empty. This place, though, must have been further back because it wasn't something that could be rented out. There were only two rooms, the other being a small bathroom from what he could see at this angle while still shackled to the bed.

Of all the things Jensen thought he'd have a chance to tell Kylan, thank you wasn't one of them, but when he looked up and saw the thin wires wrapped around each end of the bed he figured he might just have to, in a sarcastic, in your face kind of way, preferably accompanied by a few sets of knuckles and possibly an elbow. The reality of what the wires were probably put there for and what their uses were going to be made him break out in a cold sweat, but right now, they gave him a chance to get out of the cuffs and he'd be damned if he stuck around to see what Kylan had planned for them.

When the first handcuff clicked open, he stifled his shout of joy, his inner Dean telling him to hurry the fuck up, he was moving too slow. The second one came open much quicker even though it was still an awkward angle to work from and his fingers were numb from how tight the cuffs had been. Jensen scooted forward, reaching for the footboard, so he could start working on the ropes, his arm sliding in the tacky remnants of Kylan's come. He had managed to push what had happened to the back of his head, but it all came rushing back, and he leaned over the side of the bed, throwing up what little bit remained of his lunch and bile.

Once his stomach was empty, he scrubbed his arm raw with a clean section of the blanket, trying to get even the most minute trace of Kylan off his body. He knew only hot water, tons of soap and Jared could erase the imprint of Kylan on his body but at the moment this was going to have to do. Jensen started loosening the knots at his feet, the rough rope digging into skin already chafed and bleeding. When the last rope fell away, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

Jensen very quickly discovered that had been a bad idea. His feet were numb, and as the blood rushed back into them, the pins and needle stabs that accompanied it was enough to make his eyes tear. He caught himself on the side of the bed before landing in a heap on the floor, sliding back onto the end of the bed long enough to massage some feeling back into his feet. While he worked, he catalogued everything that was around him, trying to decide what he could use in his escape.

He blanched at the new decor Kylan had already added to the shacks interior. Jensen's flight instinct kicked into overdrive, he didn't really want to stay and fight. If he'd been at the top of his game, or hell, even at the middle point, he would have given Kylan a run for his money. However, between the plane crash, long hours, pneumonia and the medicine that seemed to drain him, he knew he was no match, so that meant his only option was escape and evade. Jensen was able to find a pair of socks, jeans and a flannel shirt that had seen better days shoved in the corner of a shelf over the toilet. The boots, although too small, he found under the sink along with a knife used for cleaning fish.

"One of these days he'll stop underestimating me, but until then I'll capitalize on the pompous son of a bitch's stupidity," Jensen mumbled to himself. It was nice to hear a voice in the silence, even if it was his own. It helped settle his nerves.

Jensen couldn't decide whether Kylan didn't believe he could get loose or if he wouldn't leave the shack. Either way, he was wrong. He made a quick bag out of the pillow case and piece of leftover rope that had been tossed to the side, then he shoved a canteen he'd found and filled with water into it as well as his medicine, glasses, a book of matches, some twine and a couple of packs of beef jerky. He cut off a few lengths of twine to strap the knife to his leg, using some rags he found as a buffer for the point to keep it from cutting into him.

He knew that with no map and no real provisions his chances of finding his way out were slim, but he was wiling to take those odds against the ones he'd have staying here and being Kylan's plaything. When he couldn't think of anything else that he could scavenge, he slowly opened the door, peered carefully around, and slipped silently into the shadows of trees around the clearing surrounding the shack.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris had followed the gurney until a nurse stopped in front of him, asking that he please fill out the forms at the desk. She promised as soon as she knew the condition of the patient, she'd let him know. By the time Chris had decided to pick her up and drop her on her head, Tom placed a hand on his shoulder, steering him around to the waiting room.

Tom was really beginning to hate the de ja vu feeling. He grabbed the information from the desk, handing it to Chris because he wasn't going to be able to fill this one out like he had with Jensen's. They all hung out, but outside of the basics, Tom wasn't privy to Steve's medical history and allergies. He called Mike while Chris labored through the multitude of forms, occasionally patting his shoulder or just letting his hand settle on the back of Chris' neck when he could feel the inevitable blow up of suppressed rage, and fear flowing off the man beside him.

Chris turned in the forms along with the all important power of attorney information, an important lesson that the guys had taught them several years ago, and one Chris was profoundly grateful for now. There was no doubt in his mind he'd be in jail for ripping the hospital apart if they tried to keep Steve's condition from him. He sat back down, glancing over at Tom who sat quietly as ever, the frown pulling his mouth in a downward line and his brows bunched up in concentration the only real outward signs of distress. Chris was immensely grateful that it wasn't Mike or Chad, neither man could stay quiet for more than thirty seconds, and he would hate to have to explain why the morgue had an unregistered guest.

An hour into the wait, Mike came rushing into the waiting room, several bags dangling from his arms. He dropped everything at their feet, leaned over and kissed Tom.

"Ewwwww, gross Mike," Tom said, wiping at his face.

"What? Jamie said to give you a kiss for her."

"I'm sure she didn't mean it literally."

Mike's face scrunched up in concentration for a second, before it smoothed back out, and he shrugged his shoulders and grinned.

"Oh well, you know you liked it."

Chris couldn't help but smile at the silliness. "So what's going on at the house?"

"Not a damn thing. They're taking all the samples and shit, not like we don't know what happened already," Mike complained.

"They need it for court," Tom explained.

"I'm glad you think he's going to live long enough to make it to court," Mike huffed.

Tom ignored him and Chris' grunt of approval.

"How's Steve? Have they told you anything?" Mike asked.

"Not a word, and if I don't hear something soon, they'll be calling security."

"That's not going to do Steve any good when he wakes up. They'll come talk to you as soon as they have him taken care of," Tom reassured.

Chris sighed and slumped back in his seat. "So exactly why are you here and not at the house and what's in the bags?" He asked Mike tiredly.

"Tom called and asked if I'd bring over some things for the both of you and stop by and get his computer for him. I don't know why, he didn't tell me," Mike said before Chris could ask him. "Figured I'd make him when I got here. Oh, and I stopped at the store and got those maps you wanted too." Mike answered, directing the last part at Tom.

"Now I just need somewhere to spread them out," Tom observed, rummaging through his backpack.

"Give me a minute," Mike said and scurried off.

Five minutes later, they were being led into a private waiting room. The desk nurse promising to have any information about Steve's condition directed to them. Tom plugged in his laptop while Mike spread out the maps, one of Vancouver and an overlay of all the roads. Whether they were paved or dirt, as long as they had names or numbers they were listed. This didn't, of course, include logging roads or paths cut in by folks making a quicker way to their favorite pond or fishing site but it was the closest they could get.

"So are you going to explain this now?" Chris asked.

"Well, I figured the police checked all the motels, hotels, and other odd and end places the first time Kylan made an appearance, and I bet they've already started rechecking them now that this has happened. I figure he had to have somewhere out of the way to take Jensen. It's not like he can just lug six feet of unconscious body in the front door of some place so it has to be isolated, right?" Tom explained.

"You're thinking a cabin or a rental somewhere," Mike continued Tom's line of reasoning, bending over the map looking at the lakes.

"Yeah, I mean not many people use them this time of year. It couldn't be hard to find one away from everybody where you wouldn't hear anybody in... trouble."

Mike swallowed hard, knowing the slight pause Tom had covered before settling on the word trouble was more than likely supposed to have been screams. His blood ran cold just thinking about the things that could be happening to their friend while they were sitting here discussing how to find him.

Tom brought up the rental agencies he'd bookmarked and started plotting the locations of the properties on the maps. Mike got on the phone, using the line that they were looking locations for filming and needing to verify that there was no one in the area to sell away information for publicity. Once they knew it would work he and Chris called all the agencies using the same bull shit to get the information they needed.

Tom tracked Chris' movements as they worked their way through all the rental agencies. He knew that, while having something to occupy him was helping, Steve wasn't far from his mind, noticing the frequent glances he threw at the door and the clock. When the nurse finally opened the door calling for the family of Steve Carlson, Tom thought Chris would upend the table when he stood up so fast.

"How is he?"

"He's stable. We're moving him to a room now. The doctor will be in to talk with you in just a few minutes, and then you can see him," the nurse said.

Chris dropped into his seat, cradling his head in his hands. Steve would be okay, as long as he was alive. Steve would be okay. He was a fighter.

"Hey, me and Mike are going to get out of here so the doctor can talk to you. I'm going to leave you my keys. That way, if you need something, you have a car," Tom said, setting the keys on the table as Mike packed all the maps and papers up.

"Yeah, thanks for sticking around. Let me know what's going on too."

"No problem," Tom answered.

"I mean it, I want to know. God, I can't not be here...... but Tom, if anything happens to Jensen.."

Tom just nodded. Chris didn't have to tell him. Jensen was really the center to everybody's universe. It was odd how someone so quiet and reserved could step into a room and, before the end of the day, everything revolved around them, and not in the self centered, diva, I am a God way. Jensen just had this aura that people just gravitated to him. He was kind and unassuming, funny as hell if you could ever get him to open up, and if you were lucky enough to ever act with him, it was awe inspiring. Tom had flubbed his lines just from getting caught up in watching Jensen do a particular scene and had completely forgotten to deliver his own lines.

"I swear I'll keep you up to date," Tom promised. "You know that Jensen wouldn't expect you to be anywhere but here."

"Yeah, I know. Doesn't make me feel any less like shit though."

Tom patted him on the back, "Give me a call after you see Steve okay?"

Chris nodded and held the door open as the two men left. He'd just sat back down when the door opened and a small petite woman walked through. She introduced herself as Dr. Martin, asking for his name and his relationship to the patient, verifying that he did, in fact, hold the proper credentials to not only hear but also decide medical treatment for Mr. Carlson. Once that was covered, they both took a seat at the table and Dr. Martin got right down to business.

"I'm going to tell you what's been going on so far, and then I'm going to ask you a few questions that could help us with Mr. Carlson's treatment."

Chris nodded his head, not trusting himself to ask questions at the moment.

"Mr. Carlson entered the ER with an erratic heart beat that flat lined once during the course of our treatment. We were able to shock it back into rhythm and have since been able to maintain that rhythm for the last two hours which is a very good sign. We will be keeping him here until we can determine not only what if any damage has been done to his heart but also the damage done by the oxygen depravation I was told he suffered. I understand the police think he was tasered, correct?"

"Yeah, when he went to open the door," Chris answered.

"That doesn't seem like enough of a shock to cause this many problems," she mused. "Did Mr. Carlson have a prior heart condition?"

"No, the bastard poured water under the door, so he was standing in it when he touched the door knob," Chris growled.

"Oh my! That would certainly do it. Do you have any idea how long he was unconscious before he was found?"

Chris shook his head, not trusting his voice.

"Okay, let me ask you this. What did you see when you got there? I know it's hard, but it will help, I promise."

"Steve was on the floor, his lips were blue, and his skin was a gray color." Chris stopped and took a deep breath.

"Do you remember if he was warm, or cold to the touch?" Dr. Martin asked.

"He was still fairly warm. I remember thinking he couldn't be dead when I was searching for a pulse because he wasn't cold," Chris answered, feeling like this at least had to be good news.

"That's good. It means he probably didn't go without for too long. We won't know for sure until he regains consciousness, and we can run some test, but the ones we've run so far look promising. It's my belief and with the information you've given me, it supports it, is that the shock to Mr. Carlson's heart threw it out of rhythm to the extent that it continued to slow down over time until it finally stopped. While it's not good that it stopped at all, the fact that it was a gradual and not an instantaneous halt is what I believe saved him, that and your resuscitation efforts," She explained.

"So there may not be any lasting damage?" Chris asked, hope growing quietly.

"There's a very good chance there won't be, but again until he's awake, and we can run some more test, we won't know for sure. Now how about I take you to his room so you can see him. I'm sure my telling you he's doing well is one thing, but it's nothing compared to seeing it with your own two eyes is it?"

"No, not really," Chris agreed.

"Just remember, lots of cords and monitors. He should be waking up soon but there really is no time limit we put on these things. The body knows when it's ready and will do what it wants when it wants, so try not to worry too much."

Dr. Martin opened the door and proceeded him in. She showed him the nurses button, not unlike the one Jensen had in his room and told him to press it when Steve started to wake up. Chris thanked her and sat down next to the bed, wrapping his hand around Steve's motionless one. Dr. Martin told him she'd be back around in a few hours to check on them before slipping out the door but Chris' attention was already focused solely on Steve.

Now that he could see Steve's chest move up and down with each breath, touch him with his own hands, hear the machine beep each and every time his heart beat, Chris could feel the waves of emotions start to crest and drag him under. His whole body started to shake, until he finally moved his hand for fear he'd set a machine off. The fear that had been lodged in his chest clawed its way up his throat, releasing itself in a stifled sob. He shoved the heel of his hand in his mouth, trying to be quiet. When that didn't work, he grabbed the extra pillow sitting on the chair and shoved his face in it, letting the pressure that had been building escape in gut wrenching howl.

Chris half expected the nursing staff to run in and make him leave, but either they didn't hear him, or they understood. Once he was able to get himself together, he sat back in the chair, trying to get comfortable. When that didn't work, he kicked off his shoes, climbed up onto the bed with Steve and snuggled up beside him, careful of all the wires attached to him all over the place. He didn't sleep, he couldn't afford to. Not only were his ears listening to the reassuring beep of the heart monitor, but his head was torturing him with all the things that could be happening to Jensen.


	9. Chapter 9

Tom pulled into Jared's driveway, the yellow crime scene tape still staked around the front door making his stomach lurch. The only cars still left were Jared's truck and Mike's car, both sitting where they had been parked haphazardly, partially on the lawn and the other on the street. Chad met them at the door pushing it open, so he and Mike could enter.

"How's Steve?" He asked before they could even sit.

"He's going to be okay. Where's Jared?" Tom asked, looking around.

"He's in the back, I'll go get him. No sense in you having to go through it twice," Chad said, standing.

"Hey, before you do, I want to run something by you first."

"What is it?" Chad asked, sitting down slowly.

"I want to check out some of the cabins down by that lake we planned to go to this summer," Tom started.

"Okay..... Why?" Chad asked, lost.

"Because while we were at the hospital, we did some calling around, and while there's only a couple of places that seem to have single guys renting, one of the realtors mentioned there being a couple of fishing shacks further up the trail."

"You think fucktard took Jensen to one of those?" Chad asked.

"It's not like he could take him to the Hilton," Mike grumbled.

If looks could kill, Mike would be dead at the combined glares he received.

"You going to tell Jared?" Chad ventured.

"Tell me what?" Jared asked from behind them, causing them to jump and look up at him guiltily.

"About Steve," Mike quickly spoke up.

"How is he?" Jared asked, dropping down into the recliner.

"He's going to make it. He flat lined at the hospital, but they have his heart in a steady rhythm now," Tom answered.

"Jesus Christ," Jared whispered. "How's Chris holding up?"

"Better now that he can be with Steve. He called me to tell me they won't know for sure about brain damage until he wakes up, but the doctor says it looks like he's doing really well. I still couldn't get him to stop felling guilty though," Tom said, digging his fingers into his scalp, trying to massage away the headache that was taking hold.

"What in the hell does he have to feel guilty about?" Jared asked perplexed, watching as Mike got up and walked into the kitchen.

"He's not here looking for Jensen," Mike supplied as he came back into the room, handing Tom a glass of water and a bottle of Aspirin. "You forgot your glasses again. Jamie's going to have your ass."

Tom sighed, shaking out the pills and downing them with a swallow of water.

"Yeah, well, doesn't look like I'm doing a bang up job of that myself. I don't even know where to start. I mean, if the police haven't been able to find him......" Jared trailed off, looking back and forth between the three men in front of him.

"Has the detective called?" Jared's voice rose as he sensed they were keeping something from him.

"No, nobody's called Jared, calm down. You know you would have heard the phone," Chad reassured.

"Then what's going on?"

"It might be nothing Jared. I just got to thinking that the police probably checked and rechecked all the hotels and things like that, but they may not have gotten around to cabin rentals yet. Mike, Chris and I called around while we were waiting for the doctor to come talk to us about Steve. It helped keep Chris occupied and made him feel like he was doing something for Jensen," Tom said before Jared could fuss about Chris concentrating on Steve.

Jared sighed, knowing it had probably kept Chris from ripping the hospital to pieces. "What did you find out? Jared asked, clinging to anything that looked remotely positive.

"There were a few places we were going to check out that looked promising," Mike answered.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Jared asked, standing up impatiently.

"Well, number one, we have to have supplies. Number two, it's almost dark we can't go tonight," Tom explained.

"You want me to sit here all night while Kylan has Jensen? Are you serious?" Jared growled, hands clenching in fists.

"I don't want you to have to do any of this," Tom answered calmly. "But we don't really have a choice. We can't go wandering around in the dark with no supplies and no idea of where we are. Even if we did find Jensen, we don't know what shape he'll be in. We need the basics at least, and quite honestly, I'm not leaving without some extra first aid supplies just in case.

Chad stood up and wrapped an arm around Jared's tense shoulders. "I'm not even going to pretend to know what you're going through, but I know there's no way in hell Jensen would want you out there without being prepared. You know how anal he is about that shit!"

Jared's whole body slumped under the knowledge that Chad was not only right, but he'd get his ass kicked if he pulled a stunt like that and Jensen did find out.

"Look, we can spend tonight getting the things we need together and plotting the best route to take and which places to check out first," Mike suggested, seeing a chance to direct the conversation in a more productive direction.

"We need to decide who's going too," Chad said.

"What do you mean?" Tom asked, confused.

"Detective Patterson said someone needs to be here in case Kylan or Jensen calls," Chad explained, glancing over at Jared's pale face.

"I can't sit here and wait anymore, I have to find him. I'm not going to be able to do what I did all day today tomorrow," Jared stated brokenly.

"I'll stay," Mike volunteered, glancing over at Tom.

Tom was a little shocked. He knew Mike wanted blood on this one and was passing up the most likely opportunity of ever getting it by staying behind. He glanced over at Jared and saw the relieved look that he wasn't going to have to argue or beg and decided to let it rest for now. Jared seemed content to look over the map with Chad at the moment, and if it took his mind off of what Jensen was going through for ten seconds or pushed it to the background, then he wasn't going to fuck it up.

"We're going to go ahead and start getting some of the supplies. We'll be back in a little while," Mike explained, grabbing his coat and motioning Tom to follow.

"Okay," Jared agreed distractedly.

Tom kept his mouth shut until they were both in Mike's car and pulling onto the main road.

"So do you really think it's a good idea for him to go? Especially, if we find them and not knowing how bad off Jensen is?" Tom finally caved and asked.

"No," Mike said grimly.

"Then what the hell?"

"If it was Jamie could you just sit there and do nothing?" Mike asked.

"Shit," Tom growled. He really hated when Mike used his head for something other than torturing friends and guest stars.

"Exactly, doesn't matter what you find, he's going to have to deal with it sooner or later and sometimes imagining it is far worse than the knowing," Mike stated.

"True," Tom agreed unhappily.

"What do you want to pick up first?"

"Let's get the first aid stuff together first. I have a feeling we're going to need it the most." Tom sighed, "Oh and for the record I'd be out there looking if it was you too."

"Well of course you would, who else can translate your silences into actual speech for those not used to the Welling way?" Mike teased.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you think we'll find him tomorrow?" Jared asked after an hour of pouring over the map in front of them.

"How could we not? One demon hunter, a megalomaniac, Superman and the baddest bad ass of them all," Chad asked in answer.

Jared's lips tilted in a small smile, "Yeah."

"All we can do is try Jay. If we find him, that's what we wanted, if not, we haven't hurt anything, and we've ruled out one thing and we look for something else. You know we're not going to quit until we find him Jared," Chad said as serious as he'd ever been in his life.

"Thanks," Jared said quietly, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat. He leaned back to rest his head on the chair.

"Why don't you go lay down? I'll get you up when the guys get back," Chad lied through his teeth.

If Jared went to sleep, there was no way in hell he was waking him up unless it was to tell him Jensen was on his way home alive and well.

"I can't. Every time I close my eyes, I see that picture, except it's Jensen and not that girl laying there. I'm scared if I actually go to sleep, I'll get the soundtrack to go with it," Jared confessed, running a tired hand through his hair.

"Well, at least lean the chair back. You want me to turn on the radio or the TV?" Chad asked, hoping the noise would lull Jared to sleep and maybe keep the nightmares at bay.

"No, I don't want to miss the phone. Jensen's parents are supposed to call when they get to their first lay over and Eric said he'd let me know how the suits want to handle things if we can't keep it quiet." Jared shifted in the chair so he could lie back some more. His head was pounding and his eyes were burning, whether it was from exhaustion, crying or both, he had no clue.

"How are his parents doing?"

"Honestly better than me," Jared sighed. "Jensen came by it honest, that's for sure."

"Came by what?"

"That whole ‘I can do it no matter how fucking hard or how much it hurts’ attitude."

"Well, if it's what keeps them going, then more power to them cause they're going to need it," Chad observed.

"Yeah, I know, but Chad, they didn't even know about Kylan either."

"Well, of course they didn't, Jensen didn't want to tell them. You said you thought the police would catch him."

"No, I mean they didn't know about him from before."

"You mean from when he was staying in North Carolina?" Chad asked, dumfounded.

"That's exactly what I mean. He sat in a hospital for days, dealt with the police, and still managed to do his damn job on top of it, by himself." Jared's voice broke around just the thought of Jensen sitting alone and scared. "I don't even have to ask him why, I know what he'll say."

"We all know what he'd say. He says it all the time even when he's not opening his mouth. He doesn't like to be the center of attention, but you have to remember he was younger too. He probably thought he'd done something to cause what had happened, not to mention he might have been embarrassed, ashamed maybe," Chad said, thinking out loud.

"What the hell would he be ashamed for? He didn't make the guy have a psychotic break," Jared groaned as his head rebelled against his raised voice.

"No, but maybe he thought he should have known something was up with the guy. I mean, hell, when someone pulls your chain, don't you feel stupid? Wouldn't you feel ten times worse if it was something like this and then to find out the guy was a repeat offender as well?" Chad reasoned.

"Yeah, probably, but it doesn't make it any easier when all I want to do is help, and it's like walking through a minefield with a blindfold on."

"Maybe, but I'm sure Jensen hoped the guy was gone for good. Shit, I would have been. Damned if I'd have wanted to talk about him either, and you've just really started this other side to the Jared/Jensen show. I'm sure you haven't gone over every damn person you've dated either," Chad scolded.

Jared had the grace to look ashamed. "Well no...."

"I know you're frustrated, and you're scared so that's why I'm not kicking your ass right now, but you need to get it together because when we find him, he's already going to be blaming himself."

"Do you think I'd really blame him for this?" Jared asked incredulously.

"Not when you're in a sane state of mind but I can't say that's what you're in right now. I mean, hell Jared, that same attitude you're bitching about helped keep you and him alive after the plane crash, and I'll bet you it's what's getting him through tonight as well."

Chad grimaced at the way Jared flinched at the mention of what was possibly happening to Jensen.

"You're right," Jared hung his head, "it's just sometimes I want him to trust me enough to tell me the things he keeps hidden," Jared said quietly.

"He does trust you. He's doing exactly what you try to do for him," Chad said.

Jared looked at him, confused.

"He's trying to protect you. He doesn't want you to hear about the crappy things that can happen or have happened. He wants you to be able to stay the same happy Jared that bounces around and drives people nuts with his candy and grabby hands. Jensen doesn't want you to have the secrets eating at you and burying you in guilt and shame," Chad explained.

"But I don't want him going through that either."

"He knows that, but it's already too late for some things, and he's just trying to keep it from being too late for others."

"Maybe, but I'm not a kid, and I don't want him to feel like he has to hide things from me," Jared answered grimly.

"Well then, that's a conversation you need to have when we get him home. Just remember what I said. You're my friend but I will kick your ass," Chad said, standing up and stretching.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was cold. He knew it was going to be a bitch trying to stay warm with no real protection. He'd found a small cave pushed back into the side of a cliff. It wouldn't have been more than a crevice if it weren't for the fact that it was actually protected by a fairly significant overhang. He debated for over an hour about lighting a fire, but in the end knew that if he was going to make it through the night, he was going to have to risk it.

He'd pushed himself for three hours, working his way down and out of the woods. He'd steered clear of the trials and away from the water, never sure when Kylan had planned to come back, and if he was already out looking for him. When he'd stumbled across the opening to the cave he almost cried, but figured his tear ducts had frozen over. His hands and feet were so numb, it took him forever to stumble around and collect enough brush and rocks to build a small fire.

Jensen was well aware that the chances of him coming across somewhere like this again was astronomical, which meant he had to find a way out tomorrow. The pain in his feet had started to subside, the heat from the fire warming them up slowly, but his hands, which hadn't been protected except by strips of rags, were in worse shape. He didn't think they were frostbitten, well not yet anyway, but it wouldn't be long. Some of the pain was coming from the scrapes and cuts he'd sustained grabbing hold of briars and limbs, trying to keep from falling.

The coughing had started an hour after he'd made it into the woods, the quick pace and thundering of his heart increasing his respiration until he was gasping for breath and wheezing. It'd pissed him off to have to stop and rest when the coughing threatened to take him to his knees. Jensen took his medicine, but cut the cough syrup dosage in half, hoping it would control enough of the cough but allow him to stay on his feet and moving as long as possible.

With the silence of the night came time for him to think, his first being of Jared, knowing this was hurting him was tearing Jensen in two. Then there was the absolute terror his mind would shy from every time he thought about Steve. He knew Kylan had to have gone through Steve to get to him, and that scared the ever living fuck out of him. If anything had happened to him, Jensen would never be able to forgive himself. This was why he'd kept everyone away the first time. He'd let his guard down and now his friends had paid the price.

Chris would be so devastated if he lost Steve, and Jensen didn't know if he'd be able to have a relationship with Jared knowing he'd destroyed what his best friends had had together. He'd always known a lot of his happiness depended on whether or not the people around him were happy, especially the people he cared about the most, and if he was the reason they weren't, then he'd always tried to find out why and fix it.

He wasn't sure how long he sat just looking at the fire, his mind drifting along to the point of dozing off instead of lingering on the depressing thoughts he'd been thinking. The heat of the fire and the enclosed space had lulled him into a semiconscious state, when the sounds of underbrush being disturbed brought him fully awake, a cold sweat breaking out across his skin. Jensen's heart felt like it was going to hammer its way straight out of his chest.

He inched forward, pulling the knife loose of its makeshift holder. It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust from the weak light to the complete darkness. The rustling came again, the sound coming from the left this time. Jensen slid out a little more, sticking his head around the edge of the outcropping, and sucked in a sharp breath as eyes, large brown eyes almost as wide as his had to be, stared back at him. The small deer stood frozen for a few heartbeats before dashing off in a flurry of hoofs and leaves.

"Shit," Jensen breathed, sagging backwards against the rock.

He took a couple of minutes to calm his racing heart before he scooted back into the heat of the fire. His body slumped forward as the rush of adrenaline left, leaving him shaking and weak feeling. Jensen knew there was no way he was going to be able to stay awake much longer, not with everything that had happened because his body was slowly shutting down. He grabbed a few more twigs and branches to build the fire up some more, hoping it didn't go out to quickly.

Jensen had no way of waking himself up, hypothermia and Kylan being his utmost concerns in sleeping too long. He hadn't come this far to be caught sleeping and dragged back to Kylan's new playhouse, nor was he interested in being a popsicle. He curled up in a tight ball, tucking his hands under his arms, trying to maintain as much warmth to them as possible.

Tomorrow he'd search for a way out, and then get help without Kylan finding him in the process. A shiver worked it's way through his body at just how mad Kylan must be at finding him missing and his plans derailed. He knew there was no way in hell Kylan was going to give up. It was all a matter of who made it out first.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris wasn't sure what had caused him to wake up. He lifted his head, looking around blurrily, but nothing had changed. The heart monitor still beeped a steady beat, the oxygen tube made a little hissing noise, and periodically the pressure cuff on Steve's arm would inflate and count down with his heartbeat. Chris was just laying his head back against the chair when the tiniest of noises had him shooting forward, eyes intent for any change at all in Steve's condition.

He started to think he was hallucinating when nothing seemed to be different, but just as he was slumping back, he saw the little wrinkle between Steve's brow, and then a very low moan made its way past dry, chapped lips.

"Steve," Chris whispered, smoothing his hand over the cool skin of Steve's arm to take his hand.

Another soft moan broke through the quiet and Chris found himself holding his breath as he watched the flickering of Steve's eyelashes increase. He knew he should call the nurse but he was scared if he looked away for even a second that when he looked back his boyfriend would be laying as still and silent as he had for the last several hours. Most people didn't realize that while Steve wasn't a bundle of energy like Jared, he always made noise, even if it was the little snatches of hummed lyrics Chris would catch him composing while loading the washing machine.

Chris held out through another moan, and what he thought might have been a small groan, but the whimper that came next had him pushing the button so hard the plastic creaked in his grip and he didn't let up until he was sure either half the hospital was on the way, or he'd broken it, one or the other.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm right here," he soothed, running his fingers through sweat darkened hair.

Steve seemed to settle a little but the little sounds of discomfort kept echoing in the quiet room and Chris was getting impatient with the wait. He could tell by the still restless shifting of Steve's eyelids that he was battling to get them open. The door to the room finally opened and one of the night nurses stuck her head in.

"He's starting to wake up," Chris said anxiously, before she could ask what they needed.

"Okay, let me page the doctor, and I'll be right back, just talk to him. He's going to be disoriented and in some pain. It'll help keep him calm until the doctor can get down here," she advised.

"Why the hell is he in pain?" Chris growled.

"He has to wake up in order for us to determine how much damage was done and what steps need to be taken to correct it," she explained. "We'll get it done quickly and get him comfortable as quickly as possible, I promise," she reassured, disappearing through the door before he could tell her what he thought of that plan.

Chris leaned over the bed, so he could be closer. He kept up a steady stream of nonsense, remembering to keep his voice steady and low. When Steve finally managed to slit his eyes open for a brief moment, Chris thought his heart had stopped beating. It didn't last long and blue eyes were sliding shut again, but it had happened, and that was the important thing.

He had lapsed into humming by the time the doctor came in. He wasn't sure if it was to calm him or Steve but it seemed to be helping both of them, so he refused to be embarrassed by being caught doing it. The doctor just smiled at him, ignoring the scowl he shot her.

"Mr. Carlson," Dr. Martin said as she walked up to the bed. "Can you hear me?"

Steve's head moved in her direction, and he made a sound in the back of his throat, but he didn't open his eyes.

"I'm going to listen to your breathing. This is going to be a little cold," she warned as she placed the stethoscope over first one lung, listening carefully, and then moving over to the other.

"Mr. Carlson, can you open your eyes for me?"

Steve made another noise in his throat but Chris could see his eyelids fluttering again. He held his breath. Steve was stubborn and if anyone could do what the doctor was asking it was him. He had to bite back the unexpected laugh that wanted to escape at the doctor's stunned look when Steve finally managed to get his eyelids to do his bidding. He knew the feeling every time Steve turned those bright blue eyes his way.

"Well, it's about time you stopped hiding those. No wonder everyone wanted you to wake up," she joked with him as he tried to focus on her face.

"Now I'm going to shine a light in each of your eyes real quick just to see how your pupils react," she explained, waiting for his slow nod before starting.

When she finished, the doctor pulled a tube looking device out of her pocket.

"What's that?" Chris asked, finally breaking his silence.

"This is what we're going to use to test for nerve damage," she said, pushing a little button forward. A few strands of what looked like rigid fishing line popped out and the doctor twirled it around, smiling at his puzzled expression. "Not very high tech is it?"

"No, I've got guitar string that look about the same," Chris drawled.

"Mr. Carlson, I'm going to need you to tell me when you feel me touching different places on your hands and feet. Can you do that for me?"

Steve slowly shook his head no, and the doctor frowned. Chris could tell she was trying to determine what could be affecting his speech, and honestly, he was close to a freak out himself.

"Are you thirsty?" Chris asked, noticing the way Steve's tongue kept sneaking out to lick parched lips.

The quick nod had him reaching for the pitcher of water so fast he almost knocked it over. He poured half a cup and put a straw in, and lifted Steve's head a little to help him get a better angle.

"Drink it slow or you'll get sick," Chris advised, completely forgetting he was in the room with professionals until he glanced up.

"You're absolutely right. Here we are with all the technology and we forget the basics. As soon as you've finished with your water, we'll try again," she replied.

Steve finished the cup of water and Chris laid his head back down gently, pointedly ignoring Steve's pleading look. If he drank too much too fast it'd make him sick, which would be worse than if he'd never drank anything. He knew if he looked at Steve, he'd cave, so he looked at the doctor instead and waited.

"So Mr. Carlson, are you ready to try our tickle test?" She asked, holding up the filament.

"Ste..." Steve tried but had to stop and clear his throat. "Steve not Carlson," he corrected hoarsely.

Chris leaned over with the cup and let him have a couple of sips, retrieving the straw before his boyfriend could finish it all, and ignored the grumpy look Steve shot him

"Okay, you tell me when you can feel each touch. We're going to start with your hands, and I'll end with your feet. And no peeking, I need to know where, if any, damage was done by the electrical charge you sustained."

The doctor worked methodically over each finger and toe, over palms and heels. There were only a few places that were numb, and she explained that it wasn't at all uncommon in cases like his. She told them she'd be back the next day to do another one, but she expected that most of those places would have regained their feeling by then. She ordered pain medicine, which the nurse left immediately to go get, while the doctor explained that the electrical shock had caused the muscles in Steve's body to contract so suddenly and violently the pain was a residual effect. She likened it to what someone felt after a leg cramp but over your entire body.

When she finished all her tests and questions, she informed them that as far as brain damage went, there didn't seem to be any, that Steve's answers to all the relevant name, age, date questions were right, and that his foggy recollection to what happened right before his electrocution was normal. She said it might get clearer, or it might never come back, memory was always a funny thing and not the haha sort.

Dr. Martin pulled Chris aside before she left and told him she would be calling Detective Patterson to let him know that Steve was conscious but that he'd need to wait until morning to come and speak with him due to the pain meds they had administered and Steve's patchy memory. Chris thanked her and shut the door, taking a moment to collect himself before going back to Steve's bedside. He knew it wouldn't take long for his boyfriend to start asking questions, and he'd be relying on him for the answers. They didn't lie to each other, no matter how hard those answers were sometimes, and Chris wasn't going to start now.

"Hey, how ya feeling?" he asked, straightening the blanket covering Steve's chest.

"Like three day old road kill," he rasped.

"You want some water?"

Steve nodded, sipping slowly as Chris held the cup up for him and the straw steady, so he wouldn't have to chase it.

"What happened?" Steve asked after he laid his head back.

"What do you remember?"

"We were at Jared's house right?"

"Yeah, they're living together now."

"Yeah, I remember that part," Steve reached up and rubbed his forehead. "You weren't there, were you?"

"No, I went with Jared to the set. He had some interview to do and Jensen didn't want him going alone. You stayed at the house with Jensen."

"He was taking a shower. Somebody was supposed to be coming over but Jensen was grumpy as hell. I remember thinking he needed some serious alone time." Steve's forehead wrinkled in concentration.

"Yeah, Chad and Mike, but you called them and told them to give Jensen some down time. They were going to come over later."

Steve was silent so long Chris thought he had drifted off, the pain medicine finally taking effect.

"The doorbell rang," Steve said softly.

"Front door?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, I remember thinking that was strange but there'd been deliveries all day. It was a deliveryman. I couldn't see his face because he was looking down at his clipboard. I went to open the door and then...... Nothing. I don't remember anything else," Steve's voice had started to climb and the heart monitor's tempo had started increasing.

Chris leaned over and gently grabbed Steve's face in his hands, forcing his eyes to his. "It's okay, I'm right here. I'll explain everything to you, I swear, but you have to stay calm."

Chris waited for Steve to take a deep breath and nod, the heart monitor starting to slow back down. Chris sat down on the edge of the bed, so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes when he told him about Jensen.

"I couldn't get you on the phone, and Jensen's kept going to voicemail so me and Jared came back to the house. When we got there, Jensen was gone, and you were lying on the floor. You weren't breathing....." Chris' voice broke.

Steve reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it while Chris fought for control. "We started CPR until the ambulance got there. The cop outside got hit too, not as bad as you though. The bastard poured water under the door so you were standing in it, and when you put your hand on the door knob, he hit it with the taser."

"Huh, pretty ingenious actually," Steve considered. "Where's Jensen?"

Chris knew it was coming, was surprised it'd taken this long actually. He figured between the muddled head, the drugs and the fact that he was sitting there instead of out looking for him that Steve probably thought Jensen was at home, or at worse, in his own hospital bed. Damn he didn't want to do this.

Steve knew that look anywhere, the i have something to tell you that you are so not going to like look he could hear the heart monitor start to increase and struggled to take in slow deep breathes to regulate the fear climbing up the back of his throat.

"Chris! Where the fuck is Jensen?"

"We don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" his voice rose another octave and one of the lines pulled off his chest as he struggled to sit up.

"Steve, I swear to God, if you don't lay down, I'm going to have them sedate you. I told you I'd tell you, but they're going to make me leave if you don't calm the fuck down!"

"Calm down! Calm down! How the hell am I supposed to calm down?"

Chris was giving it another minute before a nurse was in here, the heart monitor was starting to show sharp spikes on the screen and the tempo of the beats had picked up considerably. He knew he was fighting a losing battle, but he needed to get it out so that when the nurse did get in here they could at least run damage control, not still be going through the damn apocalypse.

"Jensen was gone when we got there, Steve. We don't know where he is. Kylan took him. They have all the roads cut off, so he's not leaving town with him. Detective Patterson has already checked all the hotels and bed and breakfasts. Mike, Tom and me called all the rentals and found some places to check out while we were waiting on word about you."

"So, did you check them out?" Steve asked.

"I don't know, the guys haven't called me lately?"

"What do you mean the guys haven't called you? You didn't go? Why the hell not?"

Chris just looked at him like, he had three heads. "Steve, you're in the hospital, and if you don't want to be in intensive care don't ask me that again."

Steve just glared at him. "You know what I mean. You knew I was going to make it so you didn't have to sit here and wait for me to wake up. I'd have been okay."

"Oh yeah, so that when I found Jensen, he could rip my head off and feed it to Jared's dogs for not being here. No thank you very much. I'll take my chances with you."

Steve bit his lip and looked away.

"What's really bothering you about me being here?" Chris asked, cupping Steve's chin and bringing his face back around so he could see his eyes.

"I fucked up. I should have known it was a trick. He's got Jensen and it's my fault Chris. How can you be here and not out there looking for him? You saw what he did to that girl. You know what he did to Jensen before." Steve's voice broke as a tear escaped and made it's way down his cheek. "What he said he'd do to Jensen this time."

Chris scooted closer, pulling Steve forward. "You listen to me, and you listen to me good," he growled. "It is not your fault anymore than it's mine for leaving to go with Jared or Jensen for dating him. The only person responsible for this is that bastard, and he better hope like hell that someone gets to him before me because I will kill him. Not just for what he did to Jensen, or what he might have done this time but because he hurt you."

"But Chris, I'm awake now. The doctor said everything looks good," Steve implored. He couldn't quite figure out why Chris was refusing to leave. He was almost begging and yet the man still wasn't budging.

"You don't know it, but they lost you on the table," Chris said softly. "Your heart stopped again, and they had to shock it back into rhythm. I almost lost you and I wouldn't have been there."

And that finally explained it, Chris' refusal to leave no matter what. Steve could see the fear trapped in the back of his eyes, and it scared him to see it there.

"I'm not going anywhere," Steve reassured, placing a light kiss on Chris' lips.

"You did, you left me. You weren't breathing and I couldn't."

"I won't, I swear, not until we're old and grumpy and can't play the guitar anymore," Steve promised as he lay back, pulling Chris down to lie beside him.

"We'll never be too old to not play," Chris argued softly as he felt Steve's body relaxing next to him, the pain medication finally winning out.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylan was livid. He'd planned for this day for years, only having to change the locations whenever Jensen had moved. Now when he was so close, the cops had to be crawling around, asking questions, getting in his way. They wouldn't catch him, he was too smart for that, but the delay was making him angrier by the minute. He watched as another car was stopped at the roadblock, the officer shining a light inside and then letting the driver pass.

He was going to have to find another way back to the shack. Lucky for Jensen, he always did his homework. There were several old logging roads he could take, he just had to decide which one would take him closest. He wanted to make sure the vehicle was close by just in case. The trip down and back with his party items was only supposed to take a couple of hours max, but five hours later, and thwarted at every turn, his impatience was starting to show.

He smiled to himself, thinking about the small amount of time he'd allowed himself with Jensen before he'd left, his dick hardening at the memory of rutting against the helpless body under him. He'd told Jensen he hoped he didn't have to use the bathroom before he left, knowing that he could hold it for a couple of hours. It would be uncomfortable but a first step in exerting his control. Now though, he'd been gone five and it'd be well into six or seven before he made it back. There was no way the man could have held it that long.

Kylan smiled again. He was flexible, lessons could always start with punishment first


	10. Chapter 10

Donna and Alan Ackles had moved heaven and hell to catch every flight they could to get them to Vancouver as quickly as possible. They hoped that by the time the taxi pulled up in front of Jared's house, they'd be able to wrap their arms around their son and the nightmare would be over. When an exhausted looking Chad opened the door with a finger to his lips and a gesture behind him that showed the devastation that was Jared, they knew it wasn't to be. Jared was still in the recliner, curled into a ball, his arms wrapped around Jensen's pillow, face buried so deep it was a wonder he hadn't suffocated.

"He fell asleep less than an hour ago. He's been running on nothing but adrenaline and anger for hours now," Chad whispered.

Donna nodded her head in understanding, the mother in her needing to comfort at least one child even if it was not her own. She carefully brushed Jared's bangs out of his face, the splotchy red, brilliant against his pale drawn features, broke her heart. She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before following her husband and Chad into the kitchen.

"Has there been any word?" Alan asked, southern manners stretched too thin.

"No, but we think we have some ideas. We're going to go check them out tomorrow, well today actually," Chad grimaced as he looked out the window. The sky had slowly started to lighten.

"What are the police saying?" Donna asked, moving around the kitchen and quietly pulling down things to make coffee.

"They've closed off all the roads, checked all the motels and the like, but nothing so far," Chad said grimly hating that he was the one having to relay the bad news but refusing to wake Jared and make him do it.

"So what is it you're going to check and who all is going?" Alan asked.

"Well, there are some fishing cabins up around several of the lakes that we want to check out. It's quiet up there, not real busy this time of year, and since you're here now, I guess it will be all of us, Jared, Mike, Tom and me. Chris is still at the hospital with Steve," Chad explained, running his hand through his hair.

"Why's Steve still at the hospital?" Donna asked, sitting down abruptly.

"Um...... Jared didn't tell you did he?"

"Apparently not. I'm sure he didn't want to worry us anymore than we already were," Alan reasoned. "Go ahead and tell us son."

Chad really did not want to do this. He was well aware that when given talents and virtues, tact had not been one of them.

"Well, when the asshole, sorry Mrs. Ackles, tasered Steve, it caused his heart to beat out of time until it sort of stopped, and they had to use the paddles to get it going again. So the doctors wanted to keep an eye on him just to make sure things were still going fine and Chris hasn't left his side," Chad finished in a rush, praying they didn't ask for details.

Jensen's parents seemed to be a little shell shocked, but before they were able to form a response Chad's phone vibrated on the table, causing them all to jump. Chad grabbed the phone to keep it from waking Jared, although he was pretty sure Jared wouldn't wake up for an earthquake right then. Mike's name was flashing on the display.

"Hey, what's up?" Chad asked quietly.

"Nothing, just letting you know we're going to be heading your way in another hour. Tom wants to be up at the lake by the time the sun starts hitting the sky," Mike explained.

"Yeah, go ahead and pack your stuff too."

"I thought I was staying at the house?" Mike asked confused.

"Jen's parents got here earlier than expected so we can split up now, cover more ground," Chad explained.

"Oh, that's good. How are they doing?"

"As well as can be expected, man. Give me a fifteen minute call ahead, and I'll wake Jared up. He's finally crashed and I want him to sleep as long as he can."

"Sure, no problem. Did you give him something?"

"No, it just all finally caught up with him, I think. We were sitting here talking and the next thing I know there wasn't a peep coming from him. I looked over, and he was out."

"Okay, well, let me get some shit together then, and I'll see you in a few."

Jensen's parents spent a few more minutes talking with Chad before he convinced them to try to get some rest. He showed them to the guest bedroom, assuring them he wasn't being kicked out. They only accepted when he explained he'd actually been staying with Mike. Chad promised to wake one of them before they left to go on their search. That way, someone would be up in case the phone rang.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen's sleep had been plagued by fractured nightmares of a young woman tied to a bed, eyes cloudy in death, the image quickly shifting to Jared's lifeless body laying there, making him gasp and jerk awake. He tried staying awake, knowing more nightmares would come, but his body rebelled, lulling him back under into the dark images that he refused to give power during his waking hours. This time, he was running through the woods, his heart beating frantically, gasping for air as he hurtled past trees vines tripping him and thorns digging into his flesh. All the while, he could hear the breath of another person in his ear, the sound of pursuit closing in and the chilling laughter of his name being called over and over into the darkness.

He jerked awake, gasping for air, his lungs burning and his eyelids feeling like they were on fire. His mom had said they were his early warning sign of fever. It was past time to take some medicine, so he dug through the bag, pulling it free. There were only a couple more antibiotic capsules and a half a bottle of cough syrup. Jensen shrugged, knowing there was nothing he could do at the moment but get out and hope he survived Dr. Patterson's wrath for messing up all his hard work.

Jensen unwrapped his hands and fingers, testing each one. He could feel them all and wiggle them, even if they were a little stiff. He went to work on the laces of his boots next. It took longer than usual with his fingers being uncooperative, but he finally got them loose and the boots off. His toes were still a little cold, but he could feel them. Sometime during one of his waking periods, he'd thought to put his feet on the rocks ringing the fire which had soaked up the heat and acted as a heating device.

The fire had gone out over night as expected, but the little space had managed to retain some of the heat, so while he was cold, it wasn't uncomfortable. From the way the wind was howling outside, he wasn't optimistic about his journey staying that way today. He pulled his boots back on and rewrapped his hands, making sure as much skin as possible was covered. Jensen thought about the direction he'd been heading yesterday as he repacked his bag and situated the knife back on his leg. He hadn't run across Kylan and the woods seemed to be thinning, the foliage getting less dense which usually meant signs of civilization. Of course, it was winter so that wasn't much of an indication, but he was hopeful.

Jensen poked the embers with a stick, making sure that it was completely out and that there were no hot spots that might re ignite, not that he thought it would do much damage. He was pretty sure the crevice acted as a natural barrier and any fire would go out from lack of oxygen before it could escape and catch the forest on fire. When he was sure he had everything packed back up and ready to go, he crawled out of his hiding spot, careful to make sure that no one was lurking about first.

The wind hadn't been so bad when he was on all fours crawling out of his shelter but when he stood up it was like someone was driving icicles through his body. His ears were so numb he wasn't sure they were still attached to his body and his nose, he'd long since given up trying to keep it from running, and that was just so disgusting, he didn't even want to think about it. Jensen's only thoughts were to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and listen for any signs that Kylan was catching up to him.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylan had taken one of the back roads that eventually branched off into a worn and rutted dirt path, but it brought him even with the back of the shack. He was almost giddy at the different scenarios playing out in his head. He'd found it difficult to concentrate on driving, especially with his dick throbbing in his pants. He parked the rental, wanting nothing more than to hurry inside and start reenacting the scenarios he'd been constructing for years. He knew that wasn't how he wanted things to go, though. He needed to be in control, and he couldn't do that when his dick felt like it was going to explode.

He left the car running and shifted his seat back. Once he took himself in hand, it only took a few strokes, and he was spilling across his fist. Kylan took a few minutes to get his breathing under control and clean himself up before he turned the car off and climbed out. He grabbed his purchases out of the trunk and quickly made his way to the door, excitement at finally having Jensen exactly where he wanted him after all this time spurring him forward.

Kylan pushed the door open with enough force that it hit the wall, not trying to be quiet. He wanted Jensen to know he was back. He dropped the bags to the side of the door and moved towards the lamp on the small wooden table he'd shoved in the corner. There was something not right about the quality of silence that invaded his ears. The shack was so dark he could just barely make out the bed. He quickly lit the lamp, spinning around so the light fell across empty space that should have his prize still stretched across it.

He set the lamp down, reaching into his bag, and grabbed the large spotlight he'd brought with him, moving to the bed to see if Jensen was hiding. Kylan knew it was a ridiculous, there was no real spots to hide except maybe the bathroom, but he had to look just to convince himself that Jensen had actually escaped. By the time he'd searched the small shack, he was enraged and, at the same time, a small part of him thrilled at the fight his Jenny was putting up. He knew he'd chosen the perfect one and this had proven it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Kylan spent a couple of hours searching the woods closest to the shack. He knew when he'd touched the bed that Jensen had been gone a long time, but he had to look on the off chance he hadn't been able to make it far. When he finally went back inside, he looked over the entire place and noticed where things had been disturbed. He could tell where a pair of shoes of some sort had been sitting under the sink, the prints left behind clear in the dust surrounding the spot. He could only assume there had been some kind of clothing as well since the blanket and sheets were still in the there.

The smell of vomit was strong, but he decided he'd leave that there. Once he retrieved his prize, he'd see about getting it cleaned up. Right now, though, he was going to think about the mistakes he'd made and how he'd make sure those weren't repeated. He should have paid more attention to what Jenny had been working on lately, picking handcuffs hadn't been a talent he'd attributed to the shy, quiet man he'd worked so hard to have alone and it had cost him precious time.

He smiled to himself, his blood starting to heat and pool in his groin. The punishment for an accident was nothing compared to what he could inflict for this behavior. Jensen wouldn't make it out in the woods for very long. He'd come back, and when he did, Kylan sighed, popping the button on his jeans and sliding the zipper down, he'd make sure his Jenny understood he was never to disobey again.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve had tried every time his eyes would stay open more than five minutes to get Chris to go back to Jared's. It wasn't that he didn't want Chris there, holding him and helping to keep the nightmares at bay, but he knew his boyfriend was worrying himself to death. Chris didn't do well with waiting, patience was not one of his virtues, and for him to willingly be plastered to his side, Steve wasn't even sure what that meant.

"Chris, all I'm doing is sleeping. Why don't you go back to Jared's and get some sleep in a real bed? Then you can go help them look for Jensen," Steve tried again.

"I'm not leaving. I don't sleep worth a shit when your not there, and I'm not leaving you here alone," Chris growled.

"I'm not alone, there are nurses running in and out all the time, plus there's a cop right outside the door."

"Is there a particular reason you're trying to get rid of me?"

"I'm *not* trying to get rid of you!" Steve denied, pulling Chris' face around so he would look him in the eye.

He was perplexed by Chris' stubborn refusal to budge from the hospital room. He could usually read his boyfriend pretty damn well, but the emotions rolling off his body and shadowing his eyes were so muddled, he couldn't decipher them.

"Chris please just tell me what's wrong. I know I can usually figure it out without you having to tell me but the drugs must be messing with my decoding skills."

Steve wasn't above begging at this point. All he wanted to do was fix it, but without knowing what the hell 'it' was he was going nowhere fast.

Chris took a deep breath and looked down at the bed. He'd been struggling with the overload of emotions since Steve wouldn't answer his phone. He knew most of what he was feeling was normal but there was this one flash of selfish feeling that he couldn't seem to deal with, and he wasn't sure he could tell Steve.

Steve watched Chris wage an internal struggle. He couldn't figure out what could be so bad that Chris was having such a hard time talking about it. He did know that if it ever made it out of his mouth, though, he'd need to be very careful about what he said.

Chris took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He hated talking about shit, but he wasn't finding a resolution to how he was feeling any other way, so he might as well try telling Steve and hoping he didn't hate him.

"When I found you on the floor I couldn't breath. I thought you were dead, hell, you were dead. " Chris' voice broke and Steve reached out and grabbed his hands.

"Then the ambulance came, and they worked on you the entire way in, all I could do was sit and talk to you and pray. The minute we stopped, they rushed you through the doors and all I could think was that might be the last time I saw you alive....." Chris trailed off again.

"Chris, whatever it is, just tell me," Steve begged, squeezing his hands.

"I was scared to death, and sick to my stomach, which I get. Then the next second I'm so mad at you, I just want to rip the place apart," Chris whispered.

Steve was a little shocked that Chris actually admitted to something he'd consider a betrayal but he wasn't shocked that Chris had felt that way. As a matter of fact, he'd have been surprised if he hadn't. Now, if he could just get him to talk about why and not have Chris shut down on him then things would start to get better.

"Why were you mad?" Steve asked softly.

Chris snorted and gave him a dubious look, "You were hurt."

"Yes, but that's not all is it? If that was the only reason you were mad, it wouldn't be bothering you so much."

"Why couldn't you just be one of those dumb pretty ones?" Chris moaned.

"Because you would have been bored with me after the first fuck, now answer the question," Steve responded smiling. He refused to let them get sidetracked this close to discovering Chris' problem.

"I was mad at you for getting hurt, not because you did something stupid," Chris clarified when Steve looked down guilt clearly written on his face. "I mean, because you got hurt and left me, only if for a little while. You can't leave me. You don't ever have permission to leave me. I was mad because you didn't hold on, and you left me here alone, and then I felt so damn shitty because I was mad at you and it wasn't even your fault, and I still have no idea how to make myself forget how it felt not having you." Chris stopped suddenly at a loss of words.

Steve was actually amazed Chris had spilled everything in one go. It was a measure of just how guilty he must be feeling that Steve hadn't had to pull it out of him with twenty questions.

"You know, I'd have been pretty damn mad if you left me too," Steve offered conversationally.

Chris' head popped up in disbelief.

"No, I'm serious. If you'd have left me here to live the rest of my life alone, I'd have been pretty fucking pissed off too. The guilt's just a normal response for blaming someone for something they have no control over, although I can't agree with you on that one." Steve grimaced.

"How many shipments had you signed for already?"

Steve shrugged, "I don't know about ten."

"Which door did they go to?"

"Some of them went to the side, some went to the front."

"Then how in the hell were you supposed to know that the bastard was going to be pulling a deliveryman stunt?"

"I should have been more careful," Steve argued.

"Oh wait, I think I remember someone telling me not so very long ago that guilt is a normal response for blaming someone for something they have no control over, or in your case, blaming yourself for something you had no control over. Or was that a lie to make me feel better?" Chris asked.

"You know I really hate it when you do that," Steve complained.

"Yeah well, I hate it when you scare the shit out of me, so we're even," Chris said, pushing Steve back and sliding up the bed to lay down beside him.

Steve turned his head, so he could look at his boyfriend, "You're worried I won't be here when you get back if you leave, aren't you?"

"The thought has crossed my mind," Chris confirmed.

"I'm not going anywhere," Steve said softly.

"Well then, you won't mind me sticking around to make sure," he whispered before leaning over and placing a soft kiss on Steve's lips.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mike called thirty minutes ahead, giving Chad enough time to get a pot of coffee brewed and both his and Jared's packs taken care of. He'd dug through the equipment in the garage and found one of Jared's old packs. He knew it was absolutely stupid, but he couldn't bring himself to use Jensen's. Once he'd gotten everything that needed to be done accomplished, he made his way into the living room and over to the recliner. His friend was still curled around Jensen's pillow, and it made Chad's chest ache to look at him.

"Hey, Jay, you need to wake up," Chad said nudging Jared's arm.

Jared curled in even tighter around the pillow and buried his face in it.

"Jared, come on. Mike and Tom will be here in just a few minutes," Chad tried again.

Jared's eyes slowly blinked open and his brows knit together as he tried to focus his blurry eyes on Chad. Chad saw the moment everything came rushing back and Jared realized he hadn't been dreaming the events of yesterday. He really hoped he got the opportunity to get his hands on Kylan because no one should be able to put that look on his friend’s face. 

"I'm up," Jared mumbled. "How long before they get here?"

"Mike called about fifteen minutes ago so about another fifteen. Why don't you go splash some water on your face, wake up some? I've already got our packs ready and there's coffee in the pot."

Jared struggled to his feet and started making his way down out of the living room, but he swung back around, confused at Chad's next statement.

"Oh! I forgot Jensen's parents are in the guest bedroom," Chad informed him.

"When did they get here? Did you go pick them up? I never even heard the phone ring."

"That's because it didn't. They took a cab here, and they got here a couple of hours ago."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

Chad looked at him like he was insane.

"I'm serious Chad. Why didn't you wake me up? Jen's parents must think I'm a total ass."

"Why in the hell would they think that?"

"I'm laying there asleep while Jensen is out there, God knows where," Jared's voice had gone a few octaves higher.

"Jared, they think you're a man that hasn't had any sleep in over a day, who watched a friend die and come back. They think you're the man that loves their son and finally passed out when his body couldn't take any more and it shut down on him," Chad shot back.

Jared shook his head in disgust. Chad understood why he was so upset and even why he was so frustrated, but it didn't mean he was going to sit there and listen to Jared beat himself up over something he had no reason to.

"Look, the guys are going to be here any minute. Why don't you get dressed and then wake up Mr. Ackles? They wanted us to wake one of them up when we got ready to leave," Chad suggested, running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah," Jared mumbled. He wasn't really running on all cylinders at the moment and Chad looked like road kill.

He turned to head to the bedroom, but swung around calling Chad's name.

"Yeah?" Chad asked.

"Thanks," Jared said quietly.

"You know you don't have to thank me Jay."

"Maybe not, but I want to. I know I'm being an ass."

"Well, I figure ten more years of that, and we might be even. Now get your ass ready, I don't feel like hearing Mike bitching," Chad said, heading back towards the kitchen.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared tapped lightly on the guest room door before quietly opening it and sticking his head in. Jensen's mom was curled up under the blankets sleeping, but even he could tell it was fitful at best. Alan was propped up with his back against the headboard, a laptop balanced on his knees. He motioned for Jared to give him a minute while he set everything aside and gently slid out of the bed, trying not to wake Donna. Jared smiled when she rolled into the warm spot and hugged the pillow, a move Jensen did every time Jared left the bed.

Alan looked back to see what Jared was smiling at. "Jensen is very much like his mother," he said, closing the door as the moved into the hallway.

"I'm sure he's a lot like both of you," Jared answered, swallowing thickly.

He hated to think what it must feel like for Jensen's parents to not know where their child was, not once, but twice. Jared honestly had no idea how they were even functioning. He hadn't been able to keep it together when Harley had run off when they'd been in the park, and it'd taken three hours to find him. He couldn't even imagine what it would feel like if it was his child, it was Jensen, and that was torture enough.

"Are ya'll getting ready to leave?" Alan asked.

"Soon, the guys are on their way over here right now. What were you looking at online?" Jared asked. His curiosity getting the better of him, since nothing he'd tried had been able to keep his mind off of the situation.

"Oh, well Donna was wandering if anything had leaked yet. I promised her I would check, but nothing seems to have made it past Kripke and the detective you've been working with," Alan assured when Jared paled.

"Good, Jensen will have a fit if they find out."

"He's never really liked to talk about his personal life, not even when he was young. I think it came from when he was trying to find out who he was and being scared to tell anyone," Alan stated sadly.

"We've never really talked about it in detail, not that at least," Jared said thoughtfully.

"No, and if he has his way, you probably won't. He's always internalized, definitely something he got from me, unfortunately not a good thing to pass on. Have you talked about what you're going to do about your relationship?"

Jared was a little nervous. They were crossing into dangerous territory, and to be honest, he had no idea how to answer. This was the first time he'd seen the Ackles since he and Jensen had gotten together and he had no idea what they thought of it. "We're not hiding it, but we're not going to run out and hold a press conference either. Half the fans think we're in a relationship as it is and the other half think I can't hold a conversation without being a goof, which I guess is fair because, most of the time, I don't, so when it comes out, I don't think it will be that big of a shock."

"Good, you don't need to start a relationship living a lie. It's stressful enough keeping one healthy without trying to hide it as well. I realize this isn't the best time for this talk but once Jensen is home, I don't know that we'll have the time for it, so I wanted to get it in there while I could."

Jared couldn't even hide the relief that Alan saying ‘when Jensen came home’ instead of ‘if Jensen came home’ filled him with. He was a grown man and these weren't his parents, but he'd needed someone to tell him it was going to be okay, that Jensen was going to be okay, and be back with them, with him.

"Go ahead and get ready. I'm going to get some things, and then I'll get set up in the living room. That way, Donna might get a little bit of sleep," Alan said, squeezing Jared's shoulder and disappearing through the door.

Mike and Tom showed up a few minutes later, bringing breakfast with them. Alan sat at the table with them as they ate and listened as they went over their plans for the day again. Once breakfast was finished, Tom started another pot of coffee, so they could fill their thermoses, and Mike loaded the rest of their supplies while Chad and Jared finished getting ready.

Alan promised to keep them updated if he got any calls and Jared promised to do the same if they found anything. He gave Alan Detective Patterson's numbers in case he needed them.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It only took them an hour to get to the first cluster of cabins once they got on the road. Tom and Mike had discussed what they thought would be the better pairing to split up into, finally deciding to send Jared with Mike, and Tom kept Chad with him.

The two groups set off in opposite directions with an agreement to use the walkie talkies they all carried only if they found Jensen or Kylan, not that were looking for Kylan, but odds were they'd be crossing paths.

"So exactly why did Mike pull Jared duty?" Chad asked as soon as they were out of hearing range.

Tom shrugged. "We just thought if someone had to be the bad guy, it shouldn't have to be his best friend. You need to be his support system."

"I don't know that I could have been the bad guy anyway. Honestly, if I get the chance, I don't know if I won't react the same way," Chad stated grimly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Tom agreed quietly.

Mike and Jared stopped at every cabin marked on their half of the map. They checked to make sure the empty ones were actually vacant and the ones that were occupied didn't have Kylan in them. They made up whatever stories fit their need at the time to keep the occupant from feeling threatened. Jared was sure Jensen would get a kick out of the Sam/Dean irony of the situation. Two hours later, they met Chad and Tom back at the SUV, both of them having come up empty. They piled back into the vehicle and headed toward the next stop.

Tom had told Chad on the way back to meeting place that he was more optimistic about the next cluster of cabins since this was where the fishing shacks he'd been told about were located. He was fairly positive that if Kylan had taken Jensen anywhere out here, it would be to one of them, but he wasn't willing to run the risk of missing something by not checking the other places out on the way to this one.

Thirty minutes later, Tom dropped Jared and Mike off at the beginning of the trail along the west side of the lake at a small snowmobile rental agency. All the cabins faced the lake on the east and west side with the fishing shacks being pushed all the way to the back and at the foot of a large cliff face. It was roughly thirty miles if you walked it, which was why there was a rental shop at the road, and why Jared and Mike were getting to drive the open torpedo's as Jensen called them.

"You do realize that Jensen is going to kill you for setting those two loose on those things, don't you?" Chad asked.

"Maybe he won't find out," Tom gave voice to wishful thinking.

Chad snorted. "Since when has Jared ever been able to keep his mouth shut?"

"Promise me Mike does not get to speak at my funeral. Better yet, don't even give me one. Donate my body to science," Tom moaned.

They crawled out of the truck about three miles from the first shack. They'd decided to stop far enough back that they couldn't be seen and that, hopefully, their arrival wouldn't be heard. They trekked the rest of the way in silence, not wanting to forewarn anyone of their presence. Chad turned the walkie talkie down to the lowest setting in case they got feedback from someone else, he kept it just high enough to hear if Jared or Mike needed help.

The first shack was empty, and it looked like no one had been there in years. The next cabin was a mile up the trial, and as they closed the distance, they could tell this one just might be the one they'd been looking for. There was a truck parked close to the side of the house, a feat that Tom would love to know how the owner had accomplished, and there was smoke curling up from the chimney.

"You think this one is it," Chad asked softly.

"It's the best one we've had so far. I mean it's too damn cold to be fishing and this place ain't the Ritz," Tom answered.

"How do you want to do this? You want to both go to the door, or you want me to go around the back?" Chad asked.

"This one gives me the creeps," Tom said as he pulled Chad to the side so they were shadowed by the trees. "I'll go to the door you go around the back. The last one didn't have a back door but this one might.

"If he's in there. What are you going to do?" Chad questioned, his eyes never leaving the shack.

"Whatever it takes."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylan woke with a start, the sun from the small window streaming across his face. He'd spent the rest of the night setting up the room so that when he'd found Jensen, he could begin the fine art of pain and punishment.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

His plan had been to stay awake and start searching as soon as it was light enough to see where to put his feet, but the nights spent staking out the house Jensen was staying in had left him exhausted, and when he'd sat down to rest for a few minutes, he'd obviously fallen asleep.

Kylan pulled on his boots, grabbed the taser and the knife, slipping it into its sheath. He shrugged into his coat and slid the taser into the pocket before pulling on his gloves. He'd just made it to the door when he caught the faint sound of footsteps on the porch.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was positive he was heading in the right direction. He was even sure he'd heard at least one, maybe more, snowmobiles in the distance, but the problem was, it had started snowing again, and he didn't know if he'd make it to help before his body gave out. He'd welcomed the burning pain every muscle in his body seemed to shout, the searing burn that shot through his chest every time he breathed and the cough that had been getting steadily worse over the course of the morning, but now all he felt was numb. He knew he was putting one foot in front of the other because he was still moving forward, but he couldn't feel it, he couldn't really feel anything but exhaustion.

He'd stumbled and fallen so many times that the clothes he was wearing were soaked through before it had started snowing and there were several more holes in them than there had been when he started. Of course, the same could be said for his hands and knees if he thought about it, but the only thing he could really focus on was moving because that was the only way he was going to get back to Jared. He had to know that Jared and the rest of his friends were all right.

Jensen glanced up to try and pinpoint where the last place he'd heard the buzzing sounds coming from and missed seeing the root his foot got caught on, pitching him forward. His body hit the ground hard, forcing the air out of his lungs. He thought his head was swimming from the impact but, in fact, he was sliding down an incline. He was so tired that every attempt he made at catching something to slow his descent was seconds off and he'd already passed the object before his hands obeyed his command to grab for it.

When he finally came to a stop, he couldn't find the energy to look and see where he'd ended up. He must have hit his head at some point, though, because no matter what he did, the buzzing in his head intensified. He knew if he didn't get up, he'd freeze to death, but no matter how much he screamed inside his head to move, his body wouldn't obey. Everything started to blur around the edges and slowly started to fade. Even the buzzing sounded like it was coming from under miles of water.

"I'm sorry Jared," he whispered through cracked bleeding lips.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tom had just made it to the porch when the door was thrown open.

"I knew you'd come back, Jenny."

Tom didn't even have time to think. His fist flashed forward, knocking the man backwards as it connected with his cheek. Kylan face showed surprise that not only was it not Jensen but that someone else had found his hideout. However, it only took a second for him to straighten and pull back his arm, preparing to throw his own punch. Unfortunately for him, Tom hadn't wasted time, and the second punch connected with solid force. The sound of bones breaking could just barely be heard over the cursing.

Kylan stumbled backwards, holding one hand covering his face, and the other groping for a wall to support himself. Tom didn't much care for the fact that he wasn't unconscious, a problem he took care of with a right to Kylan's jaw. The man dropped to the floor, blood pooling around his face from his nose. He was on his side so Tom wasn't too worried about him choking to death on his own blood, not that he really gave a shit but he wasn't interested in going to jail for it either.

Chad came sliding to a stop in the doorway, mouth falling open at the sight of Kylan on the floor.

"Man, what the fuck happened?"

"Shit if I know, he opened the door, and I hit him. Didn't seem prudent to give him time to do any talking," Tom answered nonchalantly.

"Is Jensen in there?" Chad asked, trying to see around Tom.

"I don't think so, the bastard said something about him coming back when he threw the door open. I think Jensen got away from him."

"Well, good for him!" Chad exclaimed.

"Not really, now we have no idea where he is or what shape he's in, and it just started snowing again." Tom growled at the sky.

They both looked out at the woods, shuddering at the possibilities of Jensen being lost in them.

"I'm going to go check out his truck, see if I can find something to tie him up with," Tom advised grimly.

"Okay, I'll watch this piece of trash until you get back. Hey, don't touch the truck with your hands. You don't want to mess up any evidence," Chad hollered so Tom could hear him.

Chad shut the door to the shack and looked down at Kylan's unconscious body. The man's nose looked like it might stop bleeding soon, and it had already started to swell. He might have accidentally kicked him as he moved further into the room to double check that Jensen was indeed not there.

The smell hit him first. Someone had been sick because the unmistakable smell of vomit clung to everything. Chad could see the bathroom from where he was standing and there was nothing in there to indicate that was where it originated. He did see some items hanging on the wall, but without proper light, he couldn't make out what it was, and he wasn't about to leave Kylan unattended. His eyes tracked to the fireplace and the embers that were just barely glowing. They'd need to bring in some wood if they were going to be here much longer. It was going to get cold quick with the snow starting.

Chad heard a low moan, and when he glanced over, Kylan's eyelashes were fluttering. He stalked back to where the man was lying and watched as he twitched a little, still not back in the land of the living yet. Chad leaned down and relieved him of the knife he could see strapped to his belt and then went through both pockets of his coat, not even trying to be gentle. He grabbed the taser and flung it across the floor, well out of reach just in case he lost the battle and gave into the desire to use it on Kylan.

He stood back up and waited until Kylan's eyes opened and the man was looking up at him, groggy and disoriented.

"Where's Jensen at?" Chad growled.

Kylan just looked up at him as a smirk spreading across his face.

Chad pulled back his booted foot and drove it into Kylan's side, a smile playing across his lips at the gasp of pain it caused.

"Where's Jensen?" he asked again.

"I got tired of playing with him," Kylan wheezed.

Chad knew the man was lying but it didn't stop him from delivering another solid kick to the same spot.

"I'm not going to ask you again. Next time, I'll just keep kicking you until you tell me or your ribs break and puncture your lung. I hear it's a pretty painful way to die."

"Fuck you!" Kylan spat out between gasps for air.

"No, fuck you," Chad said, calmly kicking three more times.

He watched as the man curled in on himself, trying to protect his body from the next blow. Chad moved a little further into the room so he could see what, if anything, had happened in there. The sight that met him made him want to heave, but he didn't have the luxury of relaxing his guard. He forced his eyes to the bed, seeing the cuffs, ropes, and the blanket on the floor. He wasn't sure why, but he was positive he didn't want to take a closer look at it, although he knew he had to.

He pulled his attention back to Kylan, moving closer until he could see his face.

"Where's Jensen?"

Kylan looked at him and grinned a sadistic smirk that Chad was going to have fun whipping off his face.

When he pulled back and landed the next three kicks, he made sure they were aimed much lower.

"Shit Chad! What the hell's going on?" Tom asked sharply when he walked back inside with several lengths of rope and another set of handcuffs.

"Oh well, Kylan here woke up and decided he didn't feel like telling us where Jensen was. I was just trying to change his mind," Chad said, grinning down at the man crying in front of him.

"Did he tell you?"

"Nope, but that's because he doesn't know. Isn't that right fucktard," Chad said, nudging Kylan with his foot.

Kylan did nothing more than cry and moan. Tom took that as his cue to start tying on the restraints.

Chad had to yank the man's hands away from his crotch in order to cuff them behind his back so what if his knee might have accidentally slipped and hit him where it was a little bit sore now. Tom just shook his head and kept working on his feet. They used rope on Kylan's wrists as well. Not trusting that he didn't have tricks up his sleeve to get out of cuffs, Chad suggested they attach the rope from his hands to his feet to make it even harder in case he tried to do a Houdini.

Chad helped Tom lift Kylan onto his shoulder and waited while he was dumped in the trunk. The temperature had dropped at least another ten degrees and Tom wrapped two sleeping bags around Kylan to make sure he didn't freeze, although he really wanted to smother the bastard with them instead. Chad decided to investigate while Tom was taking out the trash and contacting the detective which meant he probably would have to walk a good three miles to do it. Tom said he'd contact Mike and Jared too, which was why putting Kylan in the trunk was a much better idea than leaving him where Jared was sure to get his hands on him.

He went straight to the bed, praying he'd be able to put his mind at rest. The cuffs were still hanging off the head boards, and he could see where there were small pieces of wire running along the frame to the top and bottom. Chad followed the wires until they lead him to the other side of the bed where a small controller set wired to a battery. He swallowed thickly at the implications. He knew exactly what it was supposed to be used for, but from the looks of the bed, that hadn't happened.

He'd seen enough and read enough to know that bodies under duress, especially from that type, tended to lose control of bowels and that hadn't happened. Chad moved closer and he could see a piece of wire pulled loose. He figured it must have been how Jensen was able to pick the locks and get his hands free before moving on to the ropes at the foot board. He moved back around the bed, trying to decide what had happened next. His eyes landing on the blanket, he nudged it with his foot and saw the small puddle of vomit, most of it having been soaked up by the blanket.

Chad's breath stuttered to a halt when he saw the unmistakable stains. He glanced up when Tom walked back in his face must have telegraphed his distress.

"Is that what I think it is?" Tom asked, slowly making his way towards the bed.

"Yeah," Chad whispered hoarsely.

"Fuck!" Tom exclaimed, running his hands through his hair. He glanced at the bed, his brow furrowing at the wires he saw. " What the hell were those for?"

"Electric shock therapy. It's connected to a battery and a controller on the other side," Chad answered gruffly. "Jensen used the wires to pick the cuffs, then got his feet loose."

"Not soon enough."

"Maybe not, but it could have been worse," Chad motioned at the rest of the setup.

Tom paled as he looked at the chair he'd been avoiding since he'd walked into the room. It had been moved to the back of the cabin and bolted to the floor. There were leather straps attached to the arms and legs as well as straps that would go around the chest and thighs to hold a person in place. The ceiling had an extra piece of wood that had been added to it, coming off of the support beam. Kylan had drilled holes in it and bolted chains that hung down a few feet with shackles at the end. The same had been done on the floor. There was even an extra set of restraints set into the wall with a band that would close around the occupant's throat.

"How do you know he didn't get to use any of this?"

"No blood." Chad said shortly.

"So, what's that got to do with anything?"

"Jensen would have fought. There would be blood on something, the chair or the restraints. There isn't, the bastard never got the chance to use them. I'll bet he got Jensen here and went out to finish getting his toys, which by the way I haven't checked that black bag over there and don't intend to, and Jensen got away while he was gone."

"God, I hope you're right. It's bad enough knowing that happened," Tom gestured vaguely towards the bed.

"Yeah, well, we don't know exactly what happened so let's not jump to conclusions, and yes, I do realize I just said that. Did you get hold of the detective and Jared?"

"Finally, I had to walk all the way to the truck to get a signal. Detective Patterson said he'd be up here in a under thirty minutes, and he's bringing help to look for Jensen. He said something about dogs, and he was calling an ambulance as well."

"What? For that fucker?" Chad jerked his head in the direction of where Kylan lay in the trunk.

"No, for when they find Jensen. I didn't bother to tell him about Kylan's little mishap, and he didn't ask," Tom responded.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The engine of the snowmobile was whining under the stress of the throttle being opened up and left there. Mike was having a hard time keeping up and he was afraid Jared was going to kill himself getting to where Tom and Chad were. He'd gotten the call from Tom, and before he could even finish the short conversation, Jared was on the snowmobile and headed up the trail. Thankfully, both Chad and Tom were waiting out front when they got there to stop him from barreling inside and destroying everything in sight.

"Jared, you have to calm down. If you tear everything up, they'll have no evidence," Chad reasoned.

"I don't think they need that much evidence, not with the kidnapping and the assault on Steve," Jared argued as he tried to get past them.

"You are not going in there until you calm down, and we can prepare you for what you're going to see," Tom said, yanking on Jared's coat until he spun around to face them.

"Listen to them Jared," Mike said as he walked up to the group. "Jensen's not in there and, honestly, I'd prefer you not go in there at all, but if you need to then stop and listen to them." Mike said, placing a hand on Jared's arm and squeezing.

Jared's shoulders slumped. He leaned against the side of the shack and waited for someone to start talking.

"When we got here, Kylan opened the door thinking I was Jensen coming back. He got a fist to the face for his troubles. Chad never got anything out of him, but we're pretty damn positive he has no clue where Jensen is. Jensen's time as Dean served him well, and he was able to pick the lock on the cuffs." Tom stopped when he got a small smile out of Jared. Unfortunately, he knew it wouldn't be there long.

"There are some things in there that are going to upset you, but you can't touch them. Just know that he didn't get to use them on Jensen. They were set up after he got away, so if you have to go in there, remember that," Chad finished.

Mike had no clue what was in there, but he wasn't looking forward to finding out, especially when he noticed just how pale his friends were. He knew Jared was going to go in, there was no way he couldn't, and Mike knew he would be right there beside him, if only to keep him from messing things up or falling apart. When Jared started to make his way to the door, both Tom and Chad shook their heads. They knew he'd go in even thought they wanted to protect him.

Mike slammed into Jared's back when he came to a complete stop, a choked off noise making its way free before the man could stop it. Mike moved around him and saw the chair and the chains. He tried to pull Jared back out the way they'd come, but Jared was having none of it. He shoved trembling hands into his pockets to keep from ripping the chains from the ceiling and using them to break everything in the room. He moved closer to the bed, noticing the blanket on the floor. The wires immediately caught his eye, and he looked up at Tom.

"What are those for?"

"We think he was going to use electric shock. There's a battery on the other side, but he never got the chance," Chad reassured.

 

Jared swallowed and went back to tracing the wires with his eyes. "He used the wire to pick the cuffs?"

"Looks that way," Tom agreed.

Jared stepped back and looked down at the floor.

"He got sick, but he hasn't been eating much," he stated sadly.

The sharp intake of breath told Tom and Chad that he'd spotted what they were hoping he'd miss.

"Son of a bitch!" Jared whirled around, heading towards the door.

"What's wrong Jay?" Mike asked confused.

Tom motioned for him to be quiet for a second.

"Jared, we don't know what happened," Chad tried.

"The hell I don't! You don't think I know what that is? Where the fuck is he? I'm going to kill him!" Jared pushed past Chad and out the door heading to the only place Kylan could be.

"What the hell is going on?" Mike asked.

Chad motioned towards the blanket and then bolted after Tom who was already trying to keep Jared from ripping the trunk apart to get to Kylan.

Mike made his way cautiously across the room, his nose wrinkling as the smell got stronger the closer he got. He looked down at the blanket and the realization of what he was seeing was enough to turn his stomach and have him fleeing the room to throw up himself. He'd just made it out the door when a large truck pulled up and the detective climbed out while Jared was still trying to rip the trunk open with his bare hands.

Tom tried to explain to Garrett exactly what had happened and why Jared was in the state he was in but the detective just held up his hand and nodded his head. He walked slowly up to Jared, coming in from the side so he could see who it was.

"Jared, I need you to stop and listen to me for a minute," Garrett said in a calm steady voice.

Jared didn't seem to register anything but the desire to rip Kylan limb from limb.

"Jared!" Garrett's voice cracked across the air, startling them all, and causing Jared to pause in his systematic destruction of the trunk.

"I need you to listen to me. Chad is going to take my truck, and you're going to go to Vancouver General Hospital."

"Why?" Jared asked, his voice hoarse from where he'd been yelling and screaming at Kylan through the trunk.

"Jensen stumbled out of the woods ten miles the other side of the lake. There were some kids up there snowmobiling. They found him. The ambulance is on the way to the hospital right now.


	11. Chapter 11

"He's alive?"

"Yes, he's alive, but I'm not going to lie to you, he's not in good shape. I haven't seen him, I was on my way here, but I've called Devon, he's going to meet the ambulance at the hospital. You need to be there, but you need to be calm when you get there. Do you understand?"

Jared shook his head, the adrenaline leaving his body and causing his whole frame to shake. His hands throbbed and his throat ached but all he could think about was getting to Jensen.

"Get them to look at his hands," Garrett said to Chad as he handed him the keys.

"How are you going to get back?" Mike asked.

"We've got a crew on the way up here to take care of this place and that ambulance to transport this piece of shit back to the city." Garrett punctuated his words by slamming his hand on the trunk.

"Tom, can you stay and tell me what happened? I'll get the ambulance to take you in with them, since they're going to the same hospital. You can ride up front so you don't get the urge to shoot his veins full of air."

"Sure, let me just get Jared on his way, and then I'll walk you through it. Here's the key for the trunk," Tom said, throwing him the set.

Tom shut the door behind Jared, waiting for Chad to start the truck before he motioned for Mike to roll his window down.

"Yeah?"

"Once you get a clear signal, see if you can get hold of Chris. Let him know they're coming in with Jensen. Maybe he can be down there when they bring him in. That way, he can see a familiar face. Then call his parents and tell them he's on the way to the hospital, let them know what happened."

"No problem." Mike leaned forward, dropping his voice. "Get the detective in there. Let him look everything over. He may want to call his brother, have him check Jensen for certain injuries," he said quietly.

Tom glanced back towards the front seat, but Chad was talking to Jared quietly as he quickly wrapped some bandages around his hands to slow the bleeding from the numerous cuts he was sporting.

"Yeah, let me go take care of that now. Give me a call when you know something. I'll be there as soon as we finish here."

Tom watched, turning and heading back only when the truck disappeared around the corner. Garrett had just slammed the trunk closed again, shaking his head and pocketing the keys.

"So, how about walk me through what happened from beginning to end," the detective requested when he saw Tom headed his way.

"Sure, but I need you to see some things first," Tom answered as he walked past Garrett and headed inside the shack.

"You know, you really shouldn't be in here...." Garrett trailed off as he got his first look inside. "Son of a bitch," he growled.

Tom watched as he made his way around the room, careful of where he stepped, making sure to disturb as little as possible. When the detective moved to the bed and followed the wires around to the other side Tom could see the flinch from where he was standing. Garrett moved back around the bed, stopping at the blanket and dried vomit. He used the toe of his boot to straighten the blanket out some. Tom knew the minute the detective saw the semen staining the fabric by the way his jaw clenched as he reached for the phone in his pocket and brushed past to get somewhere with a better signal.

Garrett was hanging up when Tom found him a few minutes later. He stood waiting for the detective to make his way back over to the vehicle where he was leaning.

"Who'd you call?" He asked when Garrett was a few feet away.

Garrett looked down at the trunk and angled his head to the side. Tom looked down, understanding why the man didn't want to talk where he was at. He pushed off, making sure he put some power behind it so the whole vehicle rocked back and forth, a grim smile crossed his face at the small groan he heard from within.

"I called Devon. The ambulance is ten minutes out. The last report in was that Jensen was in and out of consciousness, so I told Devon if he was coherent enough, to ask him otherwise to check him out," Garrett answered without going into detail, knowing that Tom would understand.

"So what do you want to know?" Tom asked, slumping down on a large rock that was sitting by a stand of trees.

"Walk me through what happened when you got here. Oh, and how did you know to come here anyway?"

"Didn't know, to be honest with you, yesterday while we were waiting for word on Steve, I took in a bunch of maps, and we narrowed down a search grid of spots that would be good places to hide out. I figured you guys would have checked the obvious places like motels, bed and breakfasts and things, and would eventually get around to this, but we sort of know the area since we come here and camp."

"You've been here before?"

"Well, no, not here specifically, but at another lake that has cabins. Of course, we use tents, and we stay in the woods when we come, but it's the same general thing, you know. Anyway, we called around and found out which ones were rented out and if any were to single guys....."

"How the hell did you manage to get somebody to tell you shit like that?" Garrett asked, shit, he was a detective, and he couldn't get past I need to ask you some questions before the door was slamming in his face.

"Oh, well, that was Mike. He started off with he was looking for new sites to film a movie but he was trying to keep it all hush, hush, and he needed to know if there were going to be a lot of people in the area, blah blah, blah. It worked so we all went with it. Hell, we're all actors. It's not that hard to wing it. One of the calls, the lady told us about the fishing shacks. She said they didn't rent them out, but they were used sporadically, just not usually this time of year. I figured, if it was me, this is where I'd go. It's further back, nobody would have a record of me being here, and there shouldn't be any company coming this time of year."

"This the first place you check out?" Garrett asked, making notes as they talked.

"No, second actually. The other place is about fifteen miles or so back towards town." Tom sighed, scrubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"I know it's difficult to talk about, but the sooner we get done, the faster I can get you out of here."

"It's not that. It's just… we should have gotten here sooner."

"Tom, what you guys did is just....... Well, I don't even have words for it really, but beating yourself up for what you can't control isn't going to help Jensen, or Jared for that matter."

"Yeah, well anyway," Tom said, lowering his head, refusing to look at the detective. "Me and Chad dropped Jared and Mike off at the office to rent snowmobiles so they could get to meet us once they finished. We parked back a ways and walked in that way if someone was here they wouldn't hear us coming."

Tom stopped when Garrett's phone started to ring and waited for him to finish his conversation.

"The crime scene techs and another detective should be here in about fifteen minutes. They said the ambulance is about five minutes behind them. It's started snowing again so it's slowed them down some," Garrett explained, pocketing his phone. "Gives us enough time to finish up here so we'll be ready to go when the ambulance is."

"Good, Mike can't be trusted to stay out of trouble for too long," Tom said, smiling. "We knew before we rounded the curve someone was here. We could see and smell the smoke. The closer we got, we could make out footprints, and then we saw the damn truck pulled up by the side there." He motioned to Kylan's rental.

"So how did he end up looking like he went ten rounds with Ray 'Boom Boom' Mancini?"

Tom couldn't help the snort that escaped before he composed himself.

"He must have heard me as soon as I hit the step because the door was pulled open and he was saying something about knowing I'd come back. He must have thought I was Jensen. I didn't even think about it, just swung first. When he didn't go down and was coming around with his own punch, I hit him again. I think I hit him one more time after that. I'm not sure, I was just trying to get him to go down."

"That's fine Tom. I just need to know what happened. Where was Chad when all this happened?"

"He'd gone around the other way. We weren't sure if there was another door. None of the other shacks had one, but we didn't want to leave it to chance. By the time I had Kylan on the ground, he'd made it back around."

"What happened after that?"

"Chad watched him while I went to find something to tie him up with. We didn't want to use anything in here, and I didn't really want to use anything he had out here, but we had to use something so....."

"You did good. Did you touch anything when you came in the room?"

Tom sat and thought about it for a minute. "No, I think the only things we touched were door knobs, maybe the door frames but none of *that*," Tom nodded his head toward the shack.

"Okay, so what did you do once you got back inside?"

"Tied him up and took him outside dumped him in the trunk and covered him up. I called you and then I called Jared and Mike."

"So how intense did the conversation with Kylan and Chad get?"

Tom wasn't really surprised the detective knew there was more to Kylan's physical condition than his fists and a drop in the trunk.

"When I got back inside, Chad said Kylan had come too, and he'd asked him where Jensen was. He said the bastard wouldn't tell him, but by then he'd decided Kylan didn't really know and he was just trying to wind us up. I'm pretty sure he got in a few good kicks, I didn't see where, but I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to guess."

Garrett winced and nodded in agreement, "Is there anything else you noticed while you were in there?"

"No, I think that's everything, other than we don't think he got to use most of the stuff that was in there."

"Why do you say that?"

"Jensen would have fought. There's no sign of it. We didn't see any blood or sign of him struggling."

Garrett looked back at the shack, hoping Tom was right. The sight that had met him when he walked in was something out of a nightmare, and if he lived to be a hundred, he hoped he never saw something like that again. He could hear the sirens in the distance and knew that they would be able to leave soon. He really wanted to get to the hospital and get a statement from Jensen. He just hoped the man was in a condition to give him one.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris had been prepared for a fight when he rounded the corner to the ambulance bay, but Dr. Patterson just gave him a calm look and went back to explaining what he wanted to happen as soon as the ambulance pulled in with Jensen. Chris was almost disappointed. He'd gotten the call from Mike telling them that Kylan was in custody and that Jensen had gotten away on his own. He'd been elated until Mike told him their friend had been outside in the elements all night with minimal gear and wasn't in good shape from what he'd been told.

Steve had asked him why the fuck he was still standing there, and told him to take his ass down to the emergency room, which was exactly where he was not waiting for Jensen to be brought in. He heard Dr. Patterson's instructions on hypothermia and prior pneumonia, embracing the fact that his friend was still alive, if not in the best health. Dr. Patterson excused himself from the group and headed in his direction.

"You can relax. I'm not going to ask you to leave as long as stay out of the way and let me take care of Jensen," he said.

"I don't plan on getting in the way of anybody. I just need to see that he's okay," Chris answered, some of the tension leaving his frame. He couldn't help the desire to tell the doctor that he would take care of his friend but he knew he wasn't the equipped to do so.

"I wish I could tell you that was the case, but Garrett called, and I think you need to be prepared..." he trailed off.

"Prepared for what?" Chris asked, a chill running down his spine. He wasn't stupid, he knew Kylan had been with Jensen for hours, but he couldn't bring himself to think about what his friend may have suffered.

"That things may not be okay?"

"What do you mean by that exactly?" Chris growled.

"Jensen was outside overnight in freezing temperatures. As far as we know, with very little clothing to keep him warm, no food, maybe no water, and he'd already been sick. His immune system was already compromised from before. We have no idea what this person gave him or how much and....." Dr. Patterson paused to study Chris for a minute.

"And?"

"And Garrett said the place he was kept was something he hoped he never saw again as long as he lived. I've never heard my brother sound like that, so I don't know what to expect and Garrett never got the opportunity to see Jensen, so he couldn't tell me either. I just want you to be ready because he's going to need you to be strong. I'm letting you stay because I think right now he's going to need a familiar face if he's conscious. I take it Jared won't be here until after we take Jensen to the back so you'll be the first person he sees."

"I'll be fine. You just take care of Jensen," Chris promised, listening carefully. He was positive he'd heard the faint sounds of a siren.

"That should be them. It's going to be another minute or two so let me tell you this, I'm going to have to ask him some questions that are going to be uncomfortable and he may not want to answer them but I have to know in order to treat him properly."

"What kinds of questions?" Chris asked perplexed, only half his attention on the conversation, the other half on the ambulance he could just barely make out coming down the road, siren wailing. When the doctor didn't answer him right away, he pulled his attention back and tried to focus on what he was being told.

"I'm going to have to find out what Kylan did to him, physically. I have to know because if he's hurt, it can't be left untreated."

It took a few seconds for the doctor's meaning to sink in, but when it did, Chris knew all the color had just drained from his face. He reached out a hand to brace it on the wall beside him for support. It had been there the whole time, in the back of his head, the thought that they'd be too late. He'd done a damn good job of keeping it there too, but he couldn't afford to hide from the possibility and risk Jensen trying to protect him instead of him protecting Jensen.

"I'll do what needs doing, just make sure you do the same," he said, stepping back so the medical personal could get the doors opened to the ambulance as it screeched to a halt.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Did you get up with him?" Chad asked Mike, glancing over at Jared's silent form.

"Yeah, and I got up with Mr. Ackles too they should beat us there the way the snow's coming down," Mike answered.

"Jared, when we get to the hospital I'm going to let you and Mike off at the door, so I can go park this thing." Chad glanced over at Jared again when there was still no sound coming from his friend.

Jared wasn't meant to be still, nor silent for that matter. Chad caught Mike's worried gaze in the mirror, shaking his head at the mess that one man had been able to make.

Mike scooted up in his seat and leaned between the console as much as possible. It wasn't a particularly wise move with the weather the way it was, but they needed Jared to focus on what was going to happen once they got to the hospital.

"Jared," Mike said, nudging him, waiting for a reaction that still didn't come.

"Jared!" Mike raised his voice and pinched Jared's arm.

Jared jerked his arm away and finally turned his head, focusing glassy eyes on Mike.

"Are you back with us now?" Mike asked.

Jared glanced around at the passing scenery, or what you could see past the thick white flakes sticking to the windows. He looked over at Chad who darted a look back before focusing back on the road and then swung his gaze back to Mike.

Mike was pleased to see some of the glassy sheen of shock wearing off and reality, no matter how painful, starting to seep back in.

"Where are we?"

"About twenty minutes from the hospital if it doesn't get any worse," Chad answered, jaw clenching as the truck's back tires skid a little on the slick surface.

"Okay. Has Jensen gotten to the hospital yet?"

"I called Chris. He's supposed to meet them when they get there. I haven't heard back from him yet," Mike reassured.

Jared hissed through clenched teeth as he tried to get his cell phone out of his coat pocket.

Mike reached out and grabbed his arm. "What are you trying to do?"

"I need to call his parents and let them know."

"I've already done it. Chad is going to drop us off at the door when we get to the hospital. We're going to walk in there, nice and calm, and see if we can get some information and get someone to look at your hands."

"Shouldn't Chris know something when we get there, and I don't need my hands looked at, I need Jensen to be all right," Jared stated stubbornly.

"Chris may know what's going on by the time we get there, but I have a feeling we're going to have to wait so you're going to have those hands looked at while we're doing it," Mike answered, refusing to back down. "Do you think Jensen's going to be happy when he sees the state your hands are in?"

Mike's phone rang, cutting Jared off before he could argue some more. By the time he'd hung up, Jared had resumed his silence, lost in his worry over Jensen, the throbbing of his hands, and the need to rip Kylan apart still thrumming through his body.

"Tom says they should be pulling out in about fifteen minutes. I told him we hadn't heard from Chris yet, and he said Garrett called his brother and made sure that Chris would be able to see Jensen as soon as he got there," Mike informed the two men in the front.

"Great, lets hope, they don't get stuck coming in. The snow’s coming down even harder and the road's shit to drive on even with this thing rigged out for it," Chad complained, thumping the wheel of the truck.

"Well, please don't wreck it. I don't think Garrett would be too happy with us," Mike intoned, as he patted Jared on the back. He didn't try to get Jared to talk this time. There was only so much interaction he expected with so much unknown about Jensen's condition. He settled back into the seat, listening to Chad curse the weather and watch the windshield wipers try to keep up with the thick white blanket that was descending rapidly from the heavens.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't anymore. He was positive he heard voices talking to him, but they were so far away and he was so tired. It was like he was drifting, everything feeling icy cold and numb at the same time. For some reason that didn't seem like a good thing, but he couldn't hold on to the thought long enough to figure out why.

He really wished Jared were here. He was always warm, and he'd make that damn alarm clock shut the fuck up too. Jensen frowned as the alarm kept getting louder. Maybe he was out with the dogs. He was just about to roll over when the shrill sound mercifully stopped and a door slammed. Jared must not have liked the alarm either.

"Jay?"

"Hey, it's gonna be all right man. The ambulance is here and they're going to take you to the hospital."

Jensen was so confused. Nothing was making any sense. The voice didn't belong to Jared, too young to begin with and scared too. Jensen felt like he should do something to fix that but his body didn't seem to want to follow his commands when he tried to reach out and show that it was okay. He'd been trying forever to open his eyes, but it felt like they were weighted down with cement blocks.

Why was he so tired? Where was Jared and why was there an ambulance?

Someone was talking to him, but he couldn't focus on what they were saying, all he could hear was the jack rabbit of his heart. The realization that he had no idea what was going on or where Jared was, sending adrenaline through his system, but with his body refusing to cooperate, it had nowhere to go but spike his internal systems higher.

He felt hands shifting his body to the side and something hard under him as he was rolled back over and then the whole world moved up, and he thought he was going to be sick. A small moan escaped even though he was trying to be quiet, that way maybe he could find out where Jared was. He hadn’t heard Jared’s voice or heard anyone speak his name, and that scared him even more. His body jolted as he was moved into what he guessed was the ambulance since he still hadn't managed to open his eyes.

The sudden warmth was almost too much, his chilled skin feeling like it was on fire where the ambulance was so warm inside. He felt several blankets being wrapped around him and both of his arms tucked underneath. Jensen heard the person that had been talking to him in a low voice the whole time tell someone he wasn't going to be able to find a vein until he could get a body part warm enough that they weren't restricted anymore.

He must have floated away for a little while but a pinch on his hand roused him and this time he was able to open his eyes just a little, everything blurry and bright, a guy was leaning over him and his heart sped up until he remembered where he was. The attendant started explaining what was happening as soon as he realized that his patient was awake, which Jensen was grateful for. The pinch had been the IV they'd been trying to get into him, since they'd picked him up and Jensen could feel it slowly spreading through his veins, the solution was warmed to help elevate his body temperature from the inside at an even pace.

The attendant kept talking quietly but Jensen kept losing whatever he was saying in the shrill blast of the siren and the constant tangle of his own sluggish thoughts, not that he got to far with them as he kept dropping off and startling back awake. He'd tried to ask several times where Jared was but either the attendant didn't know, or he wasn't making himself clear. He had a feeling it was the later since his lips and tongue still felt like he'd had a trip to the dentist. The next time he came to, the siren was quiet but there were more voices and the cold air rushed back in when someone opened the doors.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris thought he had prepared himself to see Jensen. He honestly hadn't thought anything could be worse than seeing Steve lying on the floor not breathing. However, when the ambulance door swung open and the stretcher cleared the doorway, the sight of his friend was pushing a close tie in worst things ever witnessed.

"Jesus Christ," he breathed, stepping back to avoid the flurry of activity around his friend.

What little he could see of Jensen's skin was a cross between a pale gray and a startling shade of blue. There were lines hanging everywhere and it seemed attached to every available square inch of body Jensen had to offer around the mounds of blankets they had wrapped around him. Chris tried to pay attention to what the medical personal were saying, but all he could focus on was the labored rise and fall of Jensen's chest and the fluttering of his eyelashes.

Chris could see assorted cuts and scrapes along the bits of arms that peeked out, but he couldn't tell just how badly his friend was injured under all the layers. The livid bruises around Jensen's neck and jaw, though, were very evident and Chris could make out each distinct finger shape in the bruise. He was still trying to battle down the desperate need to hurl chairs and break bones when Jensen's eyes blinked open, looking panicked and lost.

He pushed his way between two nurses, ignoring their attempts at keeping him back.

"Jensen. Hey, it's me. You're at the hospital," Chris said softly, reaching out and gently guiding Jensen's face around until he focused his attention on him.

Chris felt some of the tension in Jensen's body ease as recognition took its place.

"Steve?" Jensen croaked past cracked and bleeding lips.

"Steve's fine."

"Kylan said....." Jensen rasped before a deep racking cough shook the whole stretcher as he fought to breathe.

"Jensen! Steve's fine. He's waiting inside," Chris stated firmly, grimacing at the wet sounds coming from each breath his friend struggled to take.

"Chris, we need to move him to an examination room. You can come in for a few minutes, but once we start the exam, you're going to have to go to the waiting room," Dr. Patterson said as the medical team started pushing the stretcher toward the doors.

"Wait," Jensen groaned as he reached out to grasp Chris' arm. "Where's Jared?"

Chris reached down, pulling Jensen's hand free and wrapping his fingers around his friend’s dirt encrusted ones.

"He's fine. He's on his way here. The guys were up at the lakes looking for you."

He felt the stiffening in Jensen's whole body even before the hand that he was holding squeezed his in a death grip.

"Kylan's there Chris. He can't go there." Jensen struggled to sit up against the hands pressing him back down.

"Jensen!" Chris nearly shouted, trying to regain the attention of his friend who, even in his weakened condition, was making it difficult to restrain.

"He'll kill him Chris. You can't let him go there," Jensen begged as he fell back on the stretcher, another round of coughing silencing his pleas and leaving him breathless.

"Kylan can't hurt anyone. The police have him, and Jared will be here just as soon as they can get here," Chris said, taking the opportunity to make Jensen listen. He pushed the wet, matted hair off skin that was still too cold, watching as understanding slowly weaved its way through his friend’s fevered brain.

The medical staff had started moving the stretcher again and when Chris looked up, they had made it to one of the examination rooms and Dr. Patterson was barking orders at every available person and some that were just in the general vicinity. He stepped back to get out of the way, but he stayed just to the side so that Jensen could still see him and he could still hear what the doctor was saying as well as what his friend’s answers were.

Dr. Patterson had his patient moved from the stretcher to the bed before he even started asking questions, not wanting to have to interrupt what might be a difficult conversation to do so later.

"Jensen, I'm going to take a look at you in a few minutes, but I need you to answer some questions for me as best as you can. If you don't remember something, tell me. If there's a reason you can't remember, let me know that as well. Some of the questions I'm going to ask you are personal and may be embarrassing, but it's important I know the answers so I can treat you. Is it all right if Chris stays during this part?"

Jensen nodded his head and glanced over to where his friend was standing.

"I promise not to get arrested," Chris swore, knowing that Jensen was only worried about him hearing the answers because he was afraid of how angry it would make him.

"Were you hit on the head or drugged when you were taken from your house?"

"Rag over my face, kinda sweet smelling," Jensen rasped, tracking Chris' movements as he grabbed a cup of ice chips a nurse had set off to the side.

Chris plucked one out and pushed it between his lips, the cool wetness seeping inside, chasing away some of the dry bitterness that clung to his tongue.

"I forget that every time don't I?" Dr. Patterson asked, watching Chris feed the ice chip to his patient. "I swear, it's a sign you need to stop coming to see me."

"Don't much like the trip myself," Jensen confessed before he started coughing again.

"Did you lose consciousness at any other time during your ordeal?"

"There at the end when I was too tired to walk any further," Jensen answered, trying to take shallow breaths.

"All right, I'm only going to ask you a couple of more questions depending on your answers, and then we'll get started."

Jensen didn't know what it was the doctor wanted to ask him, but he had a feeling he wasn't going to like it if the look on the man's face and the glances at Chris were any indication.

"These are the difficult questions Jensen, and I need you to be honest with me no matter what," Dr. Patterson instructed, waiting for his patient to nod.

"Did Kylan force you to do anything or did he do anything to you that we would need to treat specifically?"

Jensen knew he looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights. He also knew the longer he took to answer, the more assumption the doctor and, worse yet, Chris would be making. He could literally feel his friend vibrating from his spot a few feet away. Problem was, he wasn't really sure how to answer the question.

"Um......"

"Jensen, whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but I need to know if you were hurt so that we can take care of you."

Jensen looked over at Chris and took a deep breath, never taking his eyes off the other man. The doctor wasn't going to be the problem. Getting Chris to listen was going to be the issue.

"He didn't get the chance to do much of anything. He was only there for a little while, and I got away while he went out for the rest of his toys."

"Exactly what does *much of anything* mean Jensen?" Chris asked, pushing the words out like they hurt him.

Jensen figured unclenching his jaw probably hurt worse since it was more than likely locked that way permanently. Thankfully, the doctor let things go the way they were figuring he'd get his answers without having to get between two bullheaded southern boys.

"It means he got himself off without my help, but...." Jensen swung his eyes back to the doctor.

"What do you mean but?" Chris growled.

"If you'd let me finish, I'd tell you," Jensen sighed wearily.

"When he gave me my pill, he had his fingers half way down my throat and when I got loose, I forgot all about the mess he left behind on the blankets, and as you can see, I have plenty of open wounds. I have no idea where he's been or what he's been doing so whatever tests you can think of to run, you run 'em," he finished finally, running out of steam.

Dr. Patterson set down his clipboard and started pulling on his gloves, which was Chris signal to clear out, but before he left, he had to make sure Jensen realized he wasn't to blame for anything and no one was angry with him. There was absolutely no reason to think anyone should be, but Chris knew Jensen only too well, and he knew his friend would be blaming himself for everything that had happened.

He moved over to the bed and leaned down until his forehead was resting on Jensen's. "You done good son. You done good."

Jensen couldn't get anything past the lump in his throat, so he just grabbed hold of Chris' shirt with his free hand and held on until he thought he could let go without Chris seeing how badly he didn't want to.

"Chris, why don't you go talk to Jensen's parents while I take a look at what damage he's managed this time, and I'll be out to talk to everyone in a little while." Dr. Patterson suggested when Chris finally straightened back up and took a steadying breath.

Chris nodded and quietly left the room to go in search of Jensen's parents and then to let Steve and the guys know what was going on.

Dr. Patterson watched his patient’s whole body collapse in on itself as soon as the door clicked shut.

"Was it worth it?" he asked, pulling items out he'd need.

"Hell yes," Jensen affirmed, barely above a whisper.

"You know they don't expect you to be strong all the time you know," the doctor stated as he started peeling away the blankets and a nurse materialized at his side.

"You been talking to your brother?" Jensen asked, trying for levity.

"Nah, I remember you from the last visit, but Garrett's been telling tales too."

"Figured this way Chris could keep Jared from tearing up the ER when he got here," Jensen gasped out through a choking cough. "Maybe," he finished, falling back onto the bed.

"Hmmm..... maybe," the doctor agreed.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris pulled his phone out as soon as the door closed behind him. He was supposed to call when the ambulance showed up, but he'd been talking to Devon and then he'd seen Jensen, and nothing else had mattered after that.

"Bout fucking time!"

"Hello to you too, precious," Chris greeted Mike.

"Do you have a clue what it's like being in a vehicle with a eerily quiet Jared?" Mike hissed.

"No, but I'm assuming it's not a good thing."

"No shit Sherlock, it's creepy as fuck! Now tell me what's going on."

"Where are ya'll at?"

"About five to ten minutes out. Did the ambulance just get there?" Mike asked, sounding confused.

"No, I was talking to the doctor, and then I was with Jensen and I figured Jared would want me there rather than on the phone."

"I'm sure, so how is he?"

Chris heard Jared ask something and then the phone was being shuffled around from the sounds of it.

"Chris?"

"Yeah, Jay, it's me."

"Is he okay? God just tell me he's okay!"

"He was conscious when they brought him in, talking and coherent, which are all good signs. He doesn't look the best in the world, and he sounds like shit, but he's strong man." Chris swallowed at the chocked off sound coming from the line.

"Did he say if...."

"He didn't. Jensen didn't wait around to give him the chance," Chris cut him off, knowing exactly what Jared was worried about.

"Oh, thank God." Jared's voice came through the line in a heavy sigh. "You know I wouldn't have cared right? It wouldn't have changed how I feel about him. I just didn't want him to have to go through that."

"I know Jared. Mike said it was bad." Chris assured.

"It was worse than bad, I think I may have nightmares for the rest of my life bad."

"Get him to tell you. He's not going to want to, but he needs to or it's going to eat at him."

"Yeah, I know. Have you seen his parents?"

"Nope, headed there right now. I'll see you when you get here okay man?"

"Yeah," Jared agreed. "Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Chris was listening to dead air before he could tell Jared there wasn't a reason to thank him, so he closed his phone, rounding the corner to the private waiting room he'd been told Jensen's parents were in. He came to an abrupt halt when he saw Steve sitting with the Ackles, his eyes flicked to the wheelchair sitting in the corner but other than that, there was no indication that his boyfriend was here as a patient.

"Exactly what are you doing out of your room and your bed for that matter?" he asked as he pushed the door open, zeroing in on Steve.

"You were right," Donna said to Steve, grinning.

"I always am when it comes to Chris," Steve answered but never took his eyes off Chris.

"Yes, and he tries to avoid answering the question as well." Chris said still waiting for an answer.

"I'm sitting here waiting for you to tell me how Jensen is, just like everyone else. I told them they could either get me down here and let me wait with everyone else and monitor me, or I would sign myself out. They didn't like the sign myself out part so the nice nurse pushed me down here and promised to come back to poke and prod."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared's feet hit the pavement before the truck had even stopped rolling, a feat Mike was still cursing him for as he tried to unravel himself from his seat belt and exit the truck at the same time. He'd known he wouldn't be able to pull the handle of the truck using his wrapped up hands, so he'd wound his scarf around the catch so all he had to do was yank when the time was right. Chad had tried to grab him but all he'd gotten was his fingertips around the edge of his coat, not enough to slow him down much less stop him. The policeman at the front door waiting with the nurse, however, did.

"Mr. Padalecki?" the policeman inquired.

"Yes," Jared answered, heart in his throat.

"Detective Patterson asked me to meet you. I'm to escort you to an examination room and have your hands looked at."

"My hands are fine. I need to find out about my boyfriend," Jared said as he went to push past the officer.

"Sir, I was told you would say that. Mr. Ackles is being taken care of right now, and once this nice nurse here gets you in a room, I'll go and get Mr. Kane," the officer read consulting his notes. "I'm supposed to make sure he sees you right away," the officer finished.

Mike had managed to make it to the door to hear the last part and breathed a sigh of relief. He'd had no idea how he was going to reign in six foot four of rampaging Padalecki.

"That sounds like a great plan. Lead the way Miss Simmons," Mike said cheerfully as he squinted to read the nurses name tag, ignoring Jared's scowl.

The officer shot Mike an appreciative look and waited for them to follow the nurse as he brought up the rear.

Nurse Simmons showed them into an examination room and started taking Jared's history, since it was obvious he wouldn't be writing it out himself, while Mike made himself useful by playing with all the loose objects around the room. The officer that had met them at the door waited a minute to make sure Jared wasn't going to bolt for the exit as soon as he turned his back, and then disappeared down the twisting hallways to find the man he hoped was getting baby sitting duty.

Ten minutes and forty-two seconds later, Chris pushed open the doors to Jared's room and stalled in the doorway. " What the fuck?"

The doctor that was cleaning the split skin and inspecting the swollen joints and tissues, barely glanced up while Jared just clenched his jaw and got that stubborn look Chris knew meant bad news.

"Did someone forget to tell me something?"

"No." Mike and Jared said at the same time, neither one really wanting to be on the receiving end of a Kane ass chewing. They'd seen enough of them aimed at Steve and Jensen not to want their share.

"Well then obviously I'm hallucinating the damage to Jared's hands then.

"They're not that bad," Jared mumbled, refusing to look at Chris.

"We're ready to take you to X-ray, Mr. Padalecki," Nurse Simmons said as she tried to get around Chris who was still blocking the doorway.

Jared and Mike both groaned at the nurses timing, but Jared could have sworn the doctor stifled a snicker before he patted his knee and stood up.

"Oh, it's not as bad as it looks, huh," Chris mimicked.

"I'm going to go find Chad and see if I can get some coffee," Mike edged toward the door.

"I'll talk to you later," Chris glared at Mike. "You on the other hand," he pinned Jared with an icy blue gaze, "I'll be waiting right here when you come back."

"Wonderful," Jared muttered as he shot Mike a pleading look.

"Sorry, dude, I need my ass intact for filming." Mike escaped through the door, but not before he heard Jared calling him a coward on his way out.

Jared had hoped the thirty minute wait for his X-ray's to be done would put a damper on Chris' ire, but as soon as he walked into the room and was met with the same icy stare, he knew he'd been deluding himself. 

"So, how about you tell me what happened while we wait for the doctor to come back," Chris suggested after Jared scooted back onto the exam table.

"Nothing to tell," Jared grunted as he slung his arm across his eyes to block the overhead light.

The click sounded loud in the room but the blessed dimming of the lights boring into Jared's head was a relief. "How about we try again, and you tell me the truth this time." Chris' voice was deceptively calm and a lot closer.

Jared peeked out from under his arm to see Chris standing beside the bed, arms crossed and looking like the Rock of Gibraltar. " How the hell does Steve put up with you man?" He asked tiredly.

"I don't know what you mean. I'm a fucking joy to be around. Now spill."

"Chris you don't have a clue," Jared stopped and swallowed past the bile that tried to force its way up just remembering what the room had looked like.

"Then tell me. When I said you needed to get Jensen to talk, that didn't mean for you to bottle it up in his place."

"I lost it. I took one look at that room and what was in it, and I lost it." 

"So you did that on Kylan's face?" Chris nodded at his hands.

"No," Jared chocked on a cross between a laugh and a sob. "I did this on his rental car."

Chris pulled his chair up to the bed and sat down. "Why would you take it out on the car?"

"Because Tom had locked him in the trunk, and I was trying to get to him." Jared grimaced at the look Chris gave him.

"I know you think you're a tank, and quite honestly you're the size of one, but there are limits man," Chris said, reaching up and patting his arm.

"I didn't think about it. I just saw red, literally saw red. People talk about it and I've always thought it was a load of shit, but it was like something else just took over. Chris that room, there was shackles and chains......" Jared trailed off, closing his eyes trying to will back the tears that were threatening.

"I'm not going to even pretend to know what seeing that was like, and by the time I hear it from the rest of the guys, I'm going to have to see the evidence pictures if I can get Garrett to show them to me, but Jensen got away. He's strong, Jared, and he got away, and he's here now, so we have to make sure we're strong for him now because he's not in good shape."

Jared looked at him sharply. "I thought you said he was okay."

"I said he was conscious and talking, but you know him, as well as I do."

"He was faking it?" Jared asked, sitting up.

"He was keeping up the act, so we wouldn't worry so much. He forgets sometimes I'm an actor too. Just because I spend a lot of my time recording doesn't mean I can't spot it, even when he's as great as he is."

"Shit! Why's he got to be so fucking stubborn?"

"Huh, wonder why? It's not like we're not surrounded by that," Chris snarked.

"No, I mean. Why does he hate for people to worry about him? It's like, he can worry about everybody else, but we shouldn't do the same for him," Jared growled, frustrated.

"Maybe he's just like the rest of us, Jared, and doesn't want the people he loves hurting. Would you really want him to be any other way?"

"No," Jared acknowledged grudgingly. "Doesn't mean I want him to be hurting either."

"I know," Chris sighed wearily, leaning back in the chair. "Neither do I."

Chris sat with Jared until the doctor came back, which felt like an eternity, but was only about twenty minutes. The doctor informed them that there were two small hairline fractures to Jared's left hand that would be treated by putting him in a soft cast. His right had no breaks only the few cuts, split knuckles, and the swelling that would go down with time and the anti-inflamitory's that they would be prescribing.

The nurse was just finishing up fitting Jared's hand into the soft cast when Dr. Patterson pushed open the door and motioned Jared to stay sitting. He pulled up the chair Chris had vacated in search of coffee and information if Steve's escape from his room and it would cause him any physical damage. 

"How is he?" Jared asked anxiously, ignoring the nurse as she finished setting the straps in place.

"I'm not going to lie to you. He's in pretty bad shape, but if I've learned nothing else since meeting Jensen, he's a fighter." Devon stated.

"How bad is bad?"

"He's in the middle of a relapse, and I'm afraid if we can't get it under control quickly, it's going to reach critical proportions. He's running a fever, not as high as the one he presented with when you brought him in the first time, but high enough with him still having been on the antibiotics, it's very concerning. Garrett's filled me in on what the room looked like, and from what I can tell, the only damage done to him physically while he was with Kylan looks to have happened from the restraints that were used." Devon paused, knowing Jared would need reassurance.

"He was conscious when he came in right? You talked to him?"

"Yes, he was conscious and coherent. I asked him Jared, he said he got loose while his kidnapper was gone, and that he never chance to hurt him that way. Jensen does have abrasions from the restraints and it looks like he took a few tumbles trying to work his way out of the woods. There's also some bruising around his face and neck that I felt like you needed to know about before you see him."

"When can I see him?" Jared asked quickly.

"The nurses are moving him up to ICU." Devon held up his hand. " Right now, that's where I want him. The condition he's in, it could deteriorate quickly and I want him monitored at all times."

"I'm not leaving him," Jared stated through clenched teeth.

"I had no doubt. I'm going to show you up there in a few minutes and let them know that you have clearance to stay as long as you cooperate and stay out of the way. I'll go down and let everyone else know what I've told you after I've gotten you settled in with him. That way, you can have a few minutes on your own together. There's only so much I can tell you until we see how he responds to the new medicine. He's probably not going to be awake very much. Between the stress of his abduction and escape, his health and the treatment, I wouldn't expect him to wake up anytime soon," Devon warned.

"I understand. Can we go now?" Jared asked impaitently.

Devon led Jared down back hallways, and took a staff elevator before they stopped in front of the ICU doors.

"Are you ready?" Devon asked.

"I just need to see Jensen." Jared answered, knowing that even if it didn't make sense, the doctor would understand what he meant.

Devon nodded, pushing open the doors and walking past several glass enclosed rooms until he came to the one in the corner. The curtains were pulled around the bed so Jensen was still hidden from view but Jared could feel his presence in the room. It was a link that neither questioned, just accepted, like they did with everything else that made them JensenandJared.

"Remember, he's attached to a lot of machines, even more than last time," Devon said, quietly trying to prepare Jared for the shock awaiting him.

Jared nodded, taking a deep breath, not trusting himself to speak. He followed Devon in and the door closed behind them with a muted swish. The room was unnaturally quiet except for the steady hum of the machines and the echoing thrum of Jensen's heart beat, the only sign so far that he was even in the room. Devon pulled back a portion of the curtain and waited for Jared to move past him, waiting patiently as he gets his first glimpse of Jensen in more than 48 hours.

Jared had fixed the picture of walking into the room after Jensen had collapsed in his mind, hoping it would ready him for what he would see. He'd been sadly mistaken.

There were so many lines attached to Jensen, they had clipped several back to keep them from getting tangled. Both hands had IV's running to them and there was an oxygen mask still covering his nose and mouth. He was so pale, Jared thought the starched white sheets of the hospital bed actually had more color. He realized he was wrong when he made his way closer to the bed and he could see the dark bruising around Jensen's neck and jaw, the red scrapes and cuts along his arms and face. Jensen's wrists were wrapped in white gauze but Jared could imagine the raw inflamed skin it was hiding.

A nurse made her way out of the bathroom and to the other side of the bed, setting down a basin and dipping a cloth into it. Jared only then realizing that there was still dirt and dried blood dotted over Jensen's pale skin.

Jared reached out to towards the nurse as if to take the cloth from her hand.

"Can I.... Please?" His voice cracked around the request.

Devon nodded at the nurse, and she handed the cloth over and left quietly.

"Just be careful of the lines," he instructed before he left to inform the rest of Jensen's friends and family of his condition.

Jared nodded, never taking his eyes off Jensen. He moved to the bed and pulled the tray with the water closer, dipping the cloth in and ringing the excess water out. Jared started at Jensen's forehead and very carefully wiped away the dirt that was still smudged along the side of his face. He had no idea how long he worked to clean up every little speck of dirt and spot of shed blood but when he finished, he'd emptied the basin twice and worked all the way down to the tips of Jensen's fingers and back again.

He combed his fingers through the short spikes of hair, loosening the small knots of tangles that were twisted together with debris from the woods. Jensen would hate the gritty feel of all the dirt in his hair and Jared wished he could wash it somehow but there was no way to do it, so he continued to work his way through each section, leaning down every few minutes to place a kiss somewhere on Jensen's face. He couldn't seem to stop touching, the need to feel Jensen under his hands and lips to know he was alive and here a deep abiding ache that only the five senses would soothe.


	12. Chapter 12

Jared had just finished smoothing down the blankets and tucking them in around Jensen's battered body gently when he heard the whoosh and slide of the door. Seconds later, the curtain was pulled aside so Dr. Patterson could usher Jensen's parents into their son's room. Jared was certain that no amount of warning could prepare Jensen’s parents for having to see their child attached to dozens of lines and tubes, with bruises painting every available surface like a macabre canvas. He watched Alan place his arm around Donna's shoulders as she reached out, grasping his hand, a gasp slipping from her lips before she could stifle it. They made their way to the bed, Donna carefully taking Jensen's hand in his and squeezing softly.

Dr. Patterson motioned Jared to the side giving the Ackles a few minutes of privacy with their son.

"I've explained everything to his parents," Devon assured quietly. "I've also told the staff that you will be staying as long as Jensen is here and that there may be up to two other people in the room with you as long as there's not a problem. It's an extremely rare provision, so don't make me regret it," he stated seriously.

"You won't, and thank you."

"I'm doing what's best for my patient, Jared. Anyone with eyes can see the difference having you with him does. Just remember, when you talk to him, try to stay upbeat and positive. I know it can be difficult, but he's got a hard battle ahead of him."

"You really think he can hear me?"

"There's no doubt in my mind if anyone can hear you, it's Jensen," Devon said, giving Jared's arm a reassuring squeeze before he left the room. 

Jared watched the Ackles as they catalogued each scrape and bruise, the same as he had, until he finally had to excuse himself before he couldn't breath past the blockage that had formed in the back of his throat. He made his way to the ICU waiting room where Alan had told him their friends were waiting. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The front wall was glass but with blinds, so if the families wanted privacy, they could draw them, but they had been left open, so they could see when Jared or the Ackles came back. Garrett told them that Devon had taken Jared straight to the ICU from the emergency room and a nurse had come and collected the Ackles twenty minutes ago. 

Tom, Mike and Chad had dozed off not long after the nurse left with Jensen's parents, having gotten little to no sleep over the last several days. Steve was upstairs getting a final checkup so he could be released, which is where Chris would have been if Steve hadn't threatened to throw a tantrum of epic proportions, wanting him to wait for word on Jensen's condition. Chris had finally relented when Steve promised he'd only have himself released if the doctor was 100% okay with it. He wasn't a patient person and not knowing how badly Jensen was hurt was about to drive him insane. He hadn't needed to be a doctor to know it was bad. Even if he'd never set eyes on Jensen, just listening to him trying to breathe would have told him how serious it was.

Chris leaned forward, propped his elbows on his knees, and dropped his head forward, running his fingers through his hair only to grip the strands tight. He felt like pulling them out, the stress making his neck ache and his head throb. He couldn't help but think about earlier when Garrett had shown up and pulled first Mike and then Chad into another waiting room. Tom had told him the detective was getting their initial statements recorded. That way, they wouldn't have to leave the hospital and go to the police station. He told Chris he'd already given his on the way in.

They had gone to grab a cup of coffee and on their way back Chris found an empty room, pulled Tom into it and shut the door. He pressed his forehead against the cool surface, closed his eyes, and took several deep breaths. When he felt he had a firm enough grip on his rampaging emotions, he pushed away from the door, straightening his back and squaring his shoulders. Tom hadn't made a sound, and if Chris didn't know the man was in the room, he'd have sworn he was alone. Tom had pressed his back to the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor, knees bent up, his arms hanging over them, and his head bowed as if the weight his alter ego carried around were on his shoulders instead.

Chris made his way over and slid down the to mirror Tom's position, sitting propped against the wall.

"Tell me," he demanded quietly.

"Garrett's going to have the statements ready later," Tom tried.

"It's not the same reading it. I need you to tell me," Chris said, resting his hand on Tom's neck.

"Yeah, I know," Tom sighed, bringing his head up so he could look Chris in the eye.

"Just remember, once you know, you can't unknow," Tom stated grimly.

"It can't be any worse than what I've been imagining," Chris said, dropping his hand back into his lap.

"Don't bet on it. Where do you want me to start?"

"Wherever, I just.... have to know Tom. Steve and I, we weren't there for him the first time. Didn't even have a fucking clue, and I did a real bang up job this time. I just need to know." Chris' voice cracked and he swallowed thickly.

"All right," Tom sighed again, leaning his head back against the wall and straightening his legs out. He crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes for a minute. He thought not seeing how Chris was reacting to what he said would be easier, but the slide show that rolled as soon as his eyes slipped shut convinced him, he'd take his chance with them wide open.

"Chad and me, we knew someone was there before got real close. We could see the smoke and then when we came around the corner, the shack was kind of obscured by the trees until you rounded it," Tom explained. 

Chris waited quietly for Tom to start again. He knew his friend was just trying to organize his thoughts and distance himself from the emotions so he could continue. He didn't have to wait long when Tom cleared his throat and started again.

"There were prints in the snow and when we made it to the side there was an SUV, so we knew it was a pretty safe bet that whoever it was, was still in there. I told Chad to go around the other side just in case there was more than one way in and I went the other." Tom paused a second his face tightening with anger.

"He must have been leaving, going to look for Jensen or something. I didn't even have time to think he was right there in my face. I just hit him, and when he didn't go down, I just kept hitting him until he did."

"What makes you think he was going to look for Jensen?" Chris asked, wishing he'd been the one busting his knuckles on Kylan's face.

"I was quiet when I went to the door, and I hadn't even gotten both feet on the porch when the door swung open and he came bursting out of it. He was pulling his coat on, and he thought it was Jensen coming back. I can't even remember what he said to make me think that, just something about knowing Jensen would come back or words similar to it. As if Jensen would willingly come back," Tom scoffed.

"So where does Chad come in?" 

Tom laughed a little, "I left him with Kylan while I went looking for some rope. We didn't want to use anything that was in the room, so I was looking outside. When I came back in, Kylan was a little worse off than when I left him."

"Did Chad tell you what happened?" Chris asked, not putting it past the bastard to try and get away.

Tom smiled and shook his head a little, "Chad was just being Chad," he said by way of explanation.

"That leaves a lot of ground man. How about narrow it down some?" Chris groaned.

"Chad said he asked Kylan where Jensen was and Kylan wouldn't tell him. I told him Kylan didn't know that's why he wasn't talking. I asked him why the asshole looked a little worse than he did when I left and he said he may have tripped a few times and quite possibly made some boot contact while doing it. He wanted to know why I didn't think Kylan knew where Jensen was, and I told him about Kylan thinking I was Jensen and that seemed to satisfy him. Of course, after we got a better look at the room, Chad decided a few more well placed and precise reminders were due, and I wasn't inclined to stop him."

"Garrett got pictures right?" Chris asked, thumping his head against the wall.

"Yeah, and the crime unit was taking more when we left. He said he always took some, so he could refer back to them when he's writing up his initial impressions, or he wants to double check placement before the crime unit gets theirs developed.

"Can you tell me about the room?" Chris asked, knowing it was a lot to ask, but he needed to be prepared before he saw the pictures.

Tom raised his head, looking him in the eyes. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"No, but I need to know. I need to be there for Jensen, plus Jared saw it and Steve's gonna want to see those pictures no matter what I say so I need to be ready to be there for both of them too. You guys saw it first hand and I know that's something the four of you will have to deal with together because it's going to be much different seeing it in print than physically seeing it."

Tom nodded his head before leaning his head back against the wall again and staring up at the ceiling.

"It was like a scene out of a horror movie, except it was set up for a sexual sadist, not a homicidal one, although I'm sure it would have ended that way once he finished playing," Tom stated grimly. "There were metal cuffs at the headboard, some set in the middle, some on either side, but there were ropes at the bottom. I'm thinking, that way, he'd have more flexibility in restraining and moving......." Tom paused. He couldn't say victim because Jensen was not a victim, and just thinking Jensen's name was enough to give Tom a picture in his head of his friend being hurt.

Chris seemed to understand the problem because he leaned back and closed his eyes, "I get it, keep going."

Tom let out a shaky breath. "Anyway, there were these thin wires running along the top and the bottom of the bed, so I followed them around the other side. There was a battery sitting there with everything he needed or electric shock treatment. Bastard even had a battery charger in case he needed more juice."

He looked over at Chris as he finished the last sentence and watched what little color still remaining in his face drained away. He expected Chris to tell him to stop but the man just pressed his lips together and nodded his head for Tom to continue.

"There was a chair bolted to the floor, with straps to keep the person still, and there were shackles hanging from the ceiling. He'd even bolted heavy duty chains and metal cuffs into the wall, spaced out at different spots, and there were restraints for the neck, chest and thighs. He'd either been planning this for a while, or he'd been practicing. Honestly, I'd say a combination of the two," Tom finished.

"Was there anything else?" Chris asked, praying there wasn't. He didn't know how many more pictures he could keep in his head, but his imagination had been bad. The not knowing had nearly killed him, and truly, it wasn't worse, really, but now he had an actual accounting of items to overlay Jensen's battered body into even though he knew his friend hadn't been subjected to any of them. At least, he was 99% positive Jensen hadn't gotten that past him."

"Just the blanket," Tom said so quietly Chris actually had to lean over to hear him.

"The blanket?"

"There was a blanket on the floor. Jensen had gotten sick at some point. It's what made me take a second look. There were...."

"There were what?"

"Stains," Tom said harshly. 

"What kind of stains? Blood stains?"

"No, semen stains," Tom said between gritted teeth.

"Oh," Chris answered vaguely.

Tom stared at him like he'd grown an extra head. "Oh! That's all you've got?"

"I forgot you weren't with the other three. Jensen said Kylan got himself off, but he didn't do anything to him. I guess he used the blanket. Maybe to clean up? I don't know."

"Oh, thank God. I didn't want to bring it up while his parents were in the room...." Tom trailed off.

They had talked for a little longer, Tom telling him how he'd decided the trunk was the safest place for Kylan, knowing that once Jared realized, not only was Jensen not there, but saw the state the room was in, that he would lose it. Chris felt that he'd probably kept Jared from being arrested for murder, not that he'd have blamed him, but neither Jensen nor Jared would have benefited from it. Tom mentioned he would have missed the chance of dropping Kylan like a sack of shit too, and he'd taken a perverted sense of pleasure in putting some heft into the release.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared stopped in a bathroom around the corner from the waiting room, locking the door behind him and leaning his back against the cool metal. His hands were throbbing in time with his head, but he'd refused to take any pain medicine, wanting to be awake in case Jensen needed him. He pushed off the door making his way to the sink, not at all surprised when met with the disaster that was his reflection. There were dark circles under his eyes that looked like bruises, his skin was pale under the ever present Sam tan, and there were splatters of blood littering his forehead and cheeks. Jared was amazed security hadn't tried to take him into custody.

He tore off several strips of paper towels and ran them under the faucet with the fingers of his bandaged hand. Jared huffed a breath as he used the tips of his fingers to try and push out the extra water, attempting to keep the bandages around his hand dry. When he'd gotten as much water out as he could using that method, he cleaned his face and neck, wiping away the blood, sweat and grime that clung to his skin. He pulled off a few more towels to dry off and then ran his fingers through his hair, pushing the knots apart, and trying to calm the emotions still surging through his body.

Jared left the bathroom, making his way to where their friends were waiting for news on Jensen. When he looked into the room, Tom and Mike were leaned back, feet kicked up on the table in front of them, sleeping. Chad was curled up on a set of chairs, head propped up on his jacket, also sleeping. Chris was leaning forward, hands buried in his hair, looking about how Jared was feeling. Jared pushed the door open quietly but Chris' head jerked up, his eyes seeking out the person entering. 

"Hey," Jared said, sliding into the seat next to him.

"How you holding up?"

Jared just shook his head. He really couldn't concentrate on anything but Jensen right now.

"Should we wake them up?" Chris asked, nodding to the three sleeping men.

"No, they haven't slept in..." Jared glanced down at his watch. "Over thirty six hours. They need it. You can give them an update or whoever's out here can do it when they wake up."

"How is he?" 

"Honestly, not good. He's in the middle of a relapse. He hasn’t regained consciousness and his fever is starting to rise again." Jared sighed, leaning forward massaging his temples as best he could with his bandaged hands.

"What did the doctor say?"

"He said that all they could do was keep watching him. He's so worried because Jensen shouldn't be as bad as he is when he was still taking his medicine through everything. Devon said I could stay as long as I wanted to and that there could be two other people in the room, so we shouldn't have a hard time rotating everyone in order to see him, but he said to make sure everyone stayed positive when they talked to him."

Chris nodded his head slowly. "His parents in there now?"

"Yeah, I had to take a break.... I couldn't watch them....." Jared fought for words.

"You couldn't see them going through the same thing you are?"

"Yeah," Jared answered quietly. "It's easier for me to feel it than it is for me to watch his parents do the same. Does that make any sense?"

"Strangely enough, it does." Chris sat back, sighing. "Are they going to call Josh and Mack?"

"I don't know. If it were up to Jensen, hell no, he'd have a fit, but I think they need to be here. It's not my call, though."

"When is the doctor going to be seeing him again?"

"Devon said he was going to do a third of his rounds and then come check back. He didn't want to wait on a progress report until he finished all his rounds, so maybe in another hour or so," Jared said, consulting his watch again. "He switched Jensen's medicine to a more aggressive antibiotic and he's hoping to see an improvement."

"Would he see one this soon?"

"The hell if I know. He was spouting shit like spectrum and families and units, the man might as well have been talking Latin." Jared snorted, "Of course, most medicine is in Latin, isn't it."

"Can't get away from it, can ya'll?" Chris asked.

"Doesn't look like it," Jared agreed. "Hey, how's Steve doing?"

"He's upstairs trying to get sprung as we speak." 

"Really? Is that a good idea?"

"He seems to think so. I made him promise me he wouldn't check himself out unless he got permission from Dr. Martin," Chris said.

"You didn't think it was wise to make sure he didn't try to plead his case to the doctor by batting his baby blues at her?" 

"I figure, if anything happens, we'll be in the best place for it to go wrong. Besides, he was about to throw a fit because he wanted me to stay and wait for someone to let us know about Jensen."

Jared looked at Chris, the slumped shoulders and the defeated tilt to his jaw. "You realize none of this is your fault right?"

Chris was interrupted by Alan sticking his head in the door. He told them he was going to step outside and call Josh and Mackenzie while Donna was still with Jensen. Jared stood to head back upstairs with Chris, promising to follow as soon as Steve came back. Steve waved the discharge papers in the air before Chris could ask.

"Did anyone come down?" Steve asked quietly.

"Jared just left," Chris answered hoarsely. 

He helped Steve wake the others up and then filled them all in on the latest update. Once everyone had asked questions and been given whatever answers they had available Chris managed to talk them all except Steve into going home for food, showers, and an actual eight hours of sleep in a bed. He promised to call if there was any change in Jensen's condition, and he listened to them making a set of shifts to take care of Sadie and Harley with a fond smile.

Steve pulled up a chair after everyone had gone and looked at Chris' drawn face.

"Now, how about you tell me what the guys told you while I was upstairs."

"You sure you don't want to wait a little while before I tell you that?" Chris' voice took on a pleading tone.

"I know it's not going to be easy to tell me, but unless you just don't think you can right now, I'd prefer to find it out now," Steve said, determinedly pulling his hair back away from his face and wrapping a rubber band around it.

Chris sighed a long exhausted breath before recounting everything Tom, Jared, and Garrett had told him over the last few hours. Steve's face was pale and his mouth was set in a grim line when Chris finally finished detailing everything he could remember.

"Where is this piece of shit now?" Steve growled.

Chris blinked for a second, thinking back over Garrett's conversation, trying to think if the man ever said specifically. "I don't know," he said slowly. "I haven't seen Garrett in a couple of hours a least, not since before I talked to Tom. Wouldn't he be in jail?"

"Not if he has the amount of injuries you described," Steve reasoned. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's not here somewhere. Didn't Tom say he was transported by ambulance?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think too much about it afterwards. I was too worried about Jensen and then Jared came in with his hands all tore up. Is there a reason you wanted to know where he is?" Chris asked, watching Steve closely.

"I just wanted to make sure there's no way he can get to Jensen again," Steve answered, a shiver through his body at the thought.

"You know he's not going to get near you again either," Chris promised, pulling Steve closer and tipping his chin up so he could see his boyfriends eyes. "He'd be dead before he gets within ten feet of you." 

Steve gave a small smile and leaned into the touch, he closed his eyes, just breathing in the comforting scent of familiarity. "Do you think we could see Jensen?"

Chris smiled, running his knuckles over Steve's cheek. "Jared said the doctor is letting him stay in the room plus have two more people visit so I think we can worm our way in there somewhere."

They passed Jensen's parents in the hallway and the nurse at the desk signed them in. She told them they could stay until the doctor made his rounds then they'd have to come out while he was examining the patient. They could go back in or the next set of visitors, either one would be allowed in.

Steve came to an abrupt stop as he crossed the threshold of Jensen's room, causing Chris to run into his back. Jared was sitting beside the bed one of Jensen's hands held in his, and he looked up with blood shot eyes to see who had entered. Chris had told him Jensen looked bad when he came in, and he remembered, not too long ago, how his friend looked laying in a bed similar to this, but he hadn't expected this at all.

He started moving on autopilot, one hand reaching out to take Jensen's and the other grabbing the chair behind him to bring it closer so he could sit down. He could hear the heart monitor and the oxygen hissing and sighing, knew in his head that Jensen was alive, but the man in front of him was so pale and still that, until he could actually feel the pulse beating under too thin skin and see his chest rising and falling with each breath, he couldn't trust it.

Steve took in each scrape, cut and bruise as he listened to the wet wheezing sounds as Jensen struggled to breath.

"Jesus Christ, Jensen," Steve whispered.

Steve looked back at Chris to see if he was the only one shocked by how awful Jensen looked. He knew Chris had said bad, but he didn't think even he'd meant this bad. The fear he saw in the blue eyes pinned to the still form of their friend was the only answer he needed. Steve swung his gaze back to Jensen and then over to Jared who had been see-sawing his attention between all of them.

"Kylan do all this?" He asked quietly.

"Figuratively or literally?" Jared growled.

Steve just held his glare again for the anger to ebb away. He felt Chris tense beside him, but he wasn't sure if it was from Jared's tone of voice or the mounds of blame they were silently heaping on themselves.

Jared deflated, falling back in his chair, but not far enough to release Jensen's hand. "A lot of it, but some he got getting away. The doctor said most of the cuts and scrapes, especially to his hands were done from briars and rocks, probably trying to stay on his feet," Jared answered gruffly.

No one said anything for a few minutes and they each knew they were picturing the struggle Jensen had gone through to find his way out and to relative safety. Steve looked back at Jensen's hand, turning it over to inspect the torn edges of scrapes and cuts. He didn't see any thorns and there was a thin layer of ointment covering the worst rips in the fragile flesh.

"It took the nurse an hour to get them all out." Jared’s voice broke the stillness, answering Steve's question before he could ask.

"How high is his fever?" Chris finally spoke up. He had been watching the beads of sweat form on Jensen's forehead and slowly tracked their way down his temple. 

Jared stood, picking up a cloth that had been hanging on the railing. "It's still hovering at 104.8 degrees. The nurse that was in a few minutes ago was going to page Dr. Patterson when she left. She said the medicine they gave Jensen right after he came in should have been having some effect by now." 

He dipped the cloth into a basin of water sitting on the table beside the bed, wringing the excess water out before gently running it over Jensen's forehead and cheeks. He felt Chris and Steve watching him but didn't bother to look up. He continued to bathe Jensen's face, praying that the medicine would start to work and bring the fever down before things got any worse.

"Have they called Josh and Mackenzie?" Steve asked as he watched Jared cared for their friend.

"I think that's what they're doing now. Donna said something about getting a hotel room too, so they're closer to the hospital," Jared answered. 

They sat, talking quietly with each other, Steve holding Jensen's hand while Chris kept his resting on Steve's back. Jared continued to bathe Jensen's face with cool water, hoping it brought some measure of comfort, even if he wasn't sure how much Jensen was actually suffering. Chris and Steve excused themselves when the doctor appeared thirty minutes later and Chris took the opportunity to book a hotel room and call Chad, asking him to pick up their bags and bring them the next time he came to the hospital.

Steve tried to protest but Chris put his foot down and told him he could either rest at the hotel, or he could check back into the hospital because his discharge papers clearly stated no stress and plenty of rest. Since there wasn't anything Chris could do about the stress, he was going to make damn sure Steve got some rest and in a proper bed, whether the man appreciated it or not.

Jared watched as Devon examined Jensen, making notations on his chart and frowning the whole time. He already knew the news wasn't going to be good, but seeing it so plainly written all over the doctor's face made his heart pound. When Devon finally finished his exam, he sent the nurse scurrying off to find the drugs he'd requested while he pulled up a chair and sat down, waiting for Jared to take the other one. Jared sat when he couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't interested in having it sugar coated. He just needed to know how bad it was, and what they needed to do to fix it. 

"Devon just tell me. I know it's not good. He's burning up, and he sounds like he's drowning." His voice was strained.

"You're right. He is, and it does. The antibiotics I had him on should have been making some kind of dent in the fever at least, but it's actually gone up instead. I'm going to double the dosage of steroids to try and reduce the mucus in his lungs and put him on not only a different antibiotic but a muscle relaxant to ease the restriction in his chest some. I'm hoping if he's not struggling so hard to breath, then his body can start to fight off the infection."

"If that doesn't work, what then?" Jared eased back in the chair, scrubbing his hands over his face.

"Then I'm going to recommend a drug induced coma to give his body time to fight back on its own with our help. As it is now if something doesn't change soon then we run the risk of his body shutting down on its own. I don't want it to go that far if I can help it, causes to much strain on a persons organs."

Jared nodded as Devon told him everything. He heard every word, understood it even, but the picture the doctor was painting shot a fear so cold and deep into bones, he didn't think he'd ever be warm again.

"Jared, I realize his parents are here, but you have his power of attorney." 

Jared knew it, used it not too very long ago to get the information he needed when Jensen was here before, but he hadn't even thought about it, not with Jensen's parents being here.

"You hadn't thought about it had you?"

"No," he whispered.

"Look, I'm not going to presume to tell you what to do in your situation, but I know you all love him. I'll give you my expert opinion, and then I'll give you my gut reaction okay, but it's going to be up to the three of you to talk it over and come to a decision. However, there might be a time that you have to step up and make one without the talk if we don't have the luxury of time on our side, understand?"

Jared nodded again, not trusting himself to speak. He didn't care what it took. If it was going to make Jensen better then they'd try it, parents be damned, and they could hate him for eternity as far as he was concerned. He was aware he was being a bit melodramatic, and thankfully, it was only in his head, but at the moment, he felt like he was about to come apart at the seams, so he felt a little bit entitled.

Over the next several hours, their friends took turns visiting. Everyone tried at least once to get Jared to go to the cafeteria or just to walk down the hall and get some air and stretch his legs, all of which he refused. As the day slowly faded into night again, the guys left to get some rest, and Alan went to meet Josh and Mack’s plane. Donna had taken to wandering the halls to stretch her legs and an excuse to bring food back to the room in an effort to get Jared to eat something. 

He'd appreciated it, but he didn't have an appetite, and he knew the lack of it was scaring everyone around him. He was brought back from his thoughts by the monitor charting Jensen's heartbeat. Jared had become accustomed to the pattern of the soft blips each pump set off and this was not the normal pattern. He leaned forward to get a better look at the display, blinking gritty eyes fogged by exhaustion, watching as the beat climbed and then plunged quickly. As he reached for the nurses call button, several of the machines started screeching a panic alert. 

Jared lunged for the button and watched in horror as Jensen's body convulsed. He fell backwards, pushing the button at the same time two nurses rushed in, followed quickly by more. Someone removed the button from his hand and gently led him out of the room as he tried to see Jensen before the curtain was pulled shut. Donna found him sitting on the floor outside the door, head in his hands.

"What's happened?" Her voice trembled as she knelt down in front of him.

Jared lifted red rimmed eyes to stare at her. 

"I don't know," he whispered hoarsely. "His heart rate went up and then way down and everything just started going off." 

He left out the part where Jensen arched off the bed, arms striking out, his body going rigid and then tossing itself around like a rag doll. He couldn't get the picture out of his head, and he didn't want Donna to even imagine it. 

"How long have they been in there?"

"I'm not sure. Feels like forever," he mumbled, dropping his head back into his hands. "Dr. Patterson got here about ten minutes ago, though. I would have called you, but I think I dropped my cell phone in the room and I couldn't remember your number." 

"It's fine, Jared, I couldn't have done anything if I'd have known. We'll have to leave it up to the professionals. How about we get off the floor. It's starting to make my joints ache," Donna said as she stood, holding out her hand.

Jared looked up at the offered hand and attempted a smile, taking her hand, but using his other to push himself up. 

"Are you going to call Jensen's dad?" He asked as they walked to the set of chairs in the hallway.

She glanced down at her watch, "No, he can't do anything but get upset, and I don't want him getting into an accident. They should be on their way here by now, and I don't want them being any more anxious than what they already are trying to get here."

"It's going to be a bad shock, though, when they do get here," Jared said sadly.

"Honey, it was going to be a shock for them to see their brother like that anyway," she said, patting his knee. "That piece of trash better be glad he's not walking around where Josh could get to him because I'm afraid we'd be finding out if justifiable homicide is a good defense in Canada."

"It's not," Jared answered sheepishly.

"You looked it up?" Donna asked curiously.

"I was exploring my options."

"I'll have to remember to tell Jensen that when he wakes up," she said, smiling.

Jared was eternally grateful she had said when and not if. Now if the doctor would just come out and give them some news on what was going on then he might be able to keep the water he'd been drinking down. He'd hoped they'd have some information before the rest of Jensen's family showed up, but ten minutes later when the elevator doors slid open and hurried footsteps rounded the corner, Jared met the worried eyes of Jensen's brother.

Josh's eyes flicked from his to the room. He hesitated and then looked back at Jared. His dad must have told him what room Jensen was in. Jared watched as Josh looked past him to his mom and then behind him to where Alan and Mack were eating up the distance between them. He looked back at the room one more time and Jared watched the almost physical battle he waged with himself to turn and head in their direction.

"Mom, Jared. What's going on?"

Donna slid over so Josh could sit down with her, but he just shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. Jared swallowed the lump in his throat at how very similar Jensen and Josh's body language actually was. Jensen had joked more than once that his parents couldn't tell them apart in the dark or a ball cap. Jared thought that was stretching it a little. There was no mistaking they were brothers, and they had the same body build really, but other than that, Jared had never really noticed any other similarities. Of course, he was probably biased, he didn't think anyone could come close to Jensen. However, watching Josh exhibit some of the exact same hand and facial gestures, not to mention the way he paced when he was frustrated and angry, it was downright eerie.

Jensen's dad had followed Josh while Mack slid into the seat next to her mom. Alan stood next to Josh, waiting for someone to explain why everyone was outside the room. Donna looked over at Jared, giving him the silent go ahead he assumed since he'd been in the room when everything went to hell.

"We don't really know. Donna went to get some food, and I was sitting with Jensen when his monitors started to go off and everyone started rushing in. The doctor went in about twenty minutes ago but no one's told us what's going on," Jared finished, watching Josh swing his body back around in the direction of his brother’s room.

Mack stifled a sob, burying her head in her mom's shoulder, and Alan placed his hand on Josh's shoulder. Jared could tell from the tense line of his body he was doing everything he could not to shrug it off and march himself down the hall and into Jensen's room. Luckily, the doors slid open and Dr. Patterson emerged looking like he hadn't slept any more than Jared had. Truth be told, Jared didn't think he had, he knew Devon hadn't left the hospital since Jensen had been admitted. He introduced the doctor to Jensen's brother and sister and then waited for Devon to tell him what had happened and how Jensen was doing.

"I know you're all anxious to see Jensen, and as soon as I finish updating everyone then we'll let you in but I need for you all to understand what's happened and what we're doing." He waited for everyone to nod and then he leaned back in the chair Josh had pulled up for him.

"Jensen's body has been struggling to fight the infection that's been attacking it but in his weekend condition he's losing ground quickly. I spoke with Jared earlier about a course of treatment if we were presented with a worst case scenario and he gave me his permission to proceed if that time came. Unfortunately, we've hit that time, and I've already started the steps to take some of the stress off Jensen." Dr. Patterson paused to see if anyone had any question.

Jared took the opportunity to see how everyone had taken the news that he was making the decisions. Jared's parents didn't seem to be affected, their sole focus on their son's well being and casting worried looks at Mack. Jared wasn't sure, but he thought Jensen may have told them about the POA. Mack looked like she was still walking the fine line between jet lag and shock. He wasn't even sure she registered anything that didn't have Jensen's specific condition attached to it.

Josh, on the other hand was clearly surprised. He didn't necessarily seem mad, upset was probably a better description, but under the circumstances who wouldn't be. Jared didn't think he'd be any happier after he found out about the convulsions either, but he needed to ask the doctor what had caused them. However, before he could say anything, Donna was asking what was being done to help her son.

"Mrs. Ackles when I spoke to Jared earlier, I explained some things to him. Did he pass this information along?"

When both Donna and Alan nodded Devon continued, "As I told Jared, Jensen is fighting so hard, it's draining what little bit of energy reserves he has and making all his other organs work twice, maybe three times as hard. The monitors started going off because his body is trying to shut down and give him the rest he needs to keep fighting, but his body needs those organs to stay functioning at the same time. Think of it like a computer. It's trying to go off line and reboot to clear itself of a virus, and while a computer can just go through the restart function, a human body needs help to get those organs and systems going again and working correctly."

Devon waited to make sure everyone was keeping up. He worked hard not to speak technical jargon when talking to patients and families or the few occasions where he'd had to, the law enforcement community. He didn't always succeed, but he was getting better at it. Garrett had gotten tired of trying to understand him one afternoon at lunch and had started talking in police department code. He'd been so confused and frustrated trying to figure out what his twin was saying for the first time in.... ever, that the lesson had stuck.

"Why did he have the convulsions?" Jared finally asked, seeing no other way around it but to just blurt it out.

Devon paused as the question drew reaction from the members of Jensen's family that hadn't been present earlier. "His fever spiked, and it's not uncommon for the body to exhibit convulsions when this happens."

"How high is his fever," Josh asked.

Devon looked over at the man that had to be Jensen's brother. "We've gotten it back down to 104 but it shot up past 105. I've changed his dosage of antibiotic and put him on more fluids since he's sweating them out faster than we can keep them in right now. However, what I wanted to prepare you for, and what I had spoken with Jared about was that we have placed Jensen in an induced coma to give his body time to rest and heal. He's hooked to a ventilator to take the pressures off his lungs which are already overtaxed due to the pneumonia."

No one seemed particularly shocked by the situation but Devon knew once they saw Jensen hooked to the extra machines, and he'd already been attached to a fair few, that the reality of the situation would set in.

"You can bring him out of it right?" Mackenzie spoke for the first time.

"Yes, when his body has had time to rest, and we see an improvement in his condition, we'll start weaning him off the medicine that's keeping him in the coma," Devon reassured her. "Does anyone else have any questions?"

When there were none forthcoming, he stood up. "I'm going to let everyone in for fifteen minutes, and then we need to go back to the rotation we have set up. Jared do you want to show them in or would you like me to?"

Jared wasn't honestly sure he'd be able to handle seeing Jensen with a tube down his throat anymore than the rest of them, but he'd at least gotten a good visual during the beginning of the second season to brace himself with. "I'll take them."

Everyone followed Jared into the room. He hadn't even noticed the nurses and other medical staff leaving when they'd been talking to Devon. The room though was quiet except for the machines monitoring and breathing for Jensen. All the extra equipment Jared had seen hauled in and out had either been removed or put away. He pulled the curtain back slowly, afraid to look, but needing to see Jensen at the same time. He could hear Mack crying softly behind him, and he stepped aside so Jensen's parents and sister could get to the bed.

Josh stood, taking in the damage done to his brother, and turned and walked out of the room. Jared glanced over at Alan who nodded so he followed Josh out into the hallway. He found him with his head against the wall, taking deep breaths in, and letting them out slowly. Jared thought he might be trying to keep from breaking down, but when Josh looked his way, he could see that wasn't the case at all.

"They've got him right?"

"Got who?" Jared asked.

"The guy that did that. Dad didn't say much about what happened, just that the guy was caught. I didn't get the whole story because Mack was a wreck, but I'm going to want to hear all of it. For now, though, I'll settle for you telling me again they got him."

"Yeah, they got him, and I'll tell you the whole story whenever you’re ready."

"Okay, let's get back in there then. I'm going to try and get mom and dad to take Mack to the hotel and get some sleep. They're going to need it. There's no way she's going to stay by herself, and I don't think they'll want her to anyway."

It took some convincing, but after a half an hour of debate, Jensen's parents left with Mack, promising to be back bright and early in the morning with breakfast. Jared and Josh both promised to call if anything changed after Jared spent a few minutes trying to locate his cell which he'd left on the sink in the bathroom. He still couldn't figure out why it was there, but given his lack of sleep, he was lucky he hadn't found it in the trash. The nurses had pushed in two reclining chairs after they'd both been caught dozing, and almost fell out of the hard plastic ones when the nurse had given them a heart attack on her routine rounds. Jared's legs still stuck out over the end which made Josh snort, but they were a hell of a lot more comfortable than the torture devices they'd been in earlier.

Sometime through the night when neither one of them could sleep more than thirty minutes in a stretch, Jared told Josh everything that had happened from the first phone call from Kylan to just before he arrived at the hospital. Josh listened, only asking questions twice, but when Jared finished talking, Josh asked him if he knew how Jensen met Kylan. Jared wasn't sure it was really his story to tell, but he needed to talk about everything that had happened and Josh needed answers, so he decided it was better than Jensen's parents having to explain it when they hadn't known at the time either.

Josh shook his head sadly when Jared told him how his brother had met Kylan and the end result of their relationship. He did smile though when Jared told him Jensen kicked his ass, although it was tempered by the fact that he'd almost been sexually assaulted.

"He's always been quiet," Josh said softly. "I used to try to get him to do more things until I realized he was so damn shy, and then I would try to include him in things that I knew he'd never do on his own. I guess it worked some, I mean, he liked sports, was on several teams, but he still stayed in his shell even when people around him didn't realize it. He always was good at hiding what he didn't want you to see."

"Is there a reason he thinks he has to do everything himself?" Jared asked.

Josh snorted, "Other than the complete control freak in him, I don't know maybe. We weren't anymore competitive than any other set of siblings, brothers, especially. Sometimes, I think it's still him not wanting to speak up, not wanting to be the center of attention, or being the cause of any trouble. I could always tell when he was keeping a secret by looking at him, but it's impossible over the phone. I just can't tell if he's holding something back."

"I've gotten better at it, but I have to watch his eyes. Sometimes, him being so damn good at the acting thing sucks." Jared complained.

"Yeah, well, I've had a few years more to practice," Josh said, squirming around in the chair, trying to find a more comfortable position. "So why did the doctor ask you about Jensen's treatment instead of mom and dad?"

Jared leaned up and looked over at Josh, who looked back at him curiously and just waited.

"I have power of attorney over Jensen's medical decisions, just like he has over mine. I think your parents know, they didn't seem surprised anyway. I told my parents right after I changed mine."

"Is this a new thing? I mean, since ya'll started seeing each other?"

"No, actually it happened right after I broke my hand in that bar fight. Eric had been grumbling about red tape and Jensen got to thinking about what would happen if something serious happened while all the decision makers were so far away. He asked me if I'd be comfortable with him giving me POA if anything happened, and he couldn't speak for himself. I asked him to give me a few days to think about it."

"Why'd you want to think about it?"

"I wanted to see what it entailed, and if he was going to do it, I thought it might be a good idea for me to do the same. It wasn't like I had anyone up here either, but I wanted time to check it out. I could have just asked him for his research and saved myself the time because when I told him that, yeah, I would if he'd do the same for me, he pulled out this thick folder of stuff and started going through it."

Josh laughed, "Sounds like him. Never could just do something without thinking it to death."

"Well, it doesn't happen often, but he does have his spontaneous moments. Of course, we probably wouldn't have made it out of the plane crash if he hadn't been as prepared as he was," Jared reminded.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm his brother. I have to give him grief about something.... or actually pretty much anything."

Jared could hear the smile in his voice as he pulled the blanket up to his chin and drifted off.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning nurse showed up at 7:15 and Jared watched her with blurry eyes go about the business of checking Jensen's vitals and replacing the I.V.'s of fluids. When he asked about Jensen's fever, she told him it was holding steady at 104, but that it hadn't shot up overnight which was a good sign. Josh sat up beside him, scrubbing his face with his hand, trying to wake up.

"What time do you think your parents will come back?"

"I'm not sure. It was so late when they left. I'd say around nine maybe, why?"

"The nurse said there were visitors outside and there can only be two people in here at a time plus me which is why she let me know. I was just wondering if it was maybe your parents."

"She didn't say who they were?"

"No, I'm going to go see who it is. If it's some of the guys, they need to be told what happened anyway," Jared said, slipping his shoes on and stretching as he stood up.

"Okay, I'm going to hit the bathroom, and then I'm going to head downstairs and see if I can find a toothbrush. I didn't think to grab my overnight case before they left last night."

"Hey, if you find something open, grab me one too. I think I have fuzz growing on my tongue," Jared requested as he headed out the door, laughing at the disgusted face Josh made as he left.

Jared rounded the doorway and made his way to the waiting room to see who was there. He was hoping, really hoping, it was Chad or Michael, maybe even Tom, but when he opened the door, his suspicions were confirmed that it was, in fact, Steve and Chris. Jared did not want to have to explain what was going on with Jensen, but he realized he had little choice. There was no way he couldn't let them see their friend and he sure as hell wouldn't have them go in unprepared for what had happened after they left last night.

"Hey guys," Jared said, tiredly sitting down in the chair across from them.

"What's wrong?" Chris asked immediately.

Sometimes, Jared wondered if Chris was psychic. The man had the most disconcerting ability to know when things weren't as you wanted them to appear, and it was freaky as shit. Made playing poker with him an exercise in hell too.

Jared sighed and leaned back in the chair. "After Alan left to go pick up Josh and Mack at the airport, Jensen's fever spiked, and he started convulsing."

"What the fuck!" Chris exclaimed.

"Chris, let him finish," Steve replied calmly, reaching out and placing a hand on Chris' arm.

Jared could see the storm brewing in Steve's eyes, but Jared knew he was trying to keep Chris together. The knowledge was a painful echo of how Jensen always grounded him when he was bouncing around, and when Jensen needed to be pulled out of Dean's or his own head space Jared was there to do the same for him.

"Earlier, when Devon made his last rounds for the night, he warned me that Jensen’s body was wearing down, that decisions might have to be made if anything else happened or if Jensen didn’t start to improve soon." I was sitting there and his heart monitor shot up and then plummeted. After that, all of his monitors just started going off all at once. Anyway, when they finally go him stabilized, Devon came out and talked to us."

"Jared just cut to the chase tell us how Jensen is," Steve said as he smoothed his hand from Chris' elbow to wrist trying to keep him calm.

"Devon had to put him in an induced coma to give his body time to heal. He said that Jensen was fighting so hard his organs were over exerting themselves, and they were shutting down from the stress. He's on a ventilator. It's doing the breathing for him." Jared slumped down in his chair, taking a shaky breath.

Chris didn't say anything, just stood up and paced back and forth. They both watched him for a minute before Jared stood and asked if they wanted to go visit now or wait a few more minutes.

Steve looked at Chris and waited for him to turn pained blue eyes in his direction. "We can go now. Who’s in there with him now?"

"Josh, but he's going to run downstairs while you're in there," Jared said.

They stopped at the nurses station so Jared could let them know that Chris and Steve were going in and that Josh would be coming out as soon as they got back to the room. No one had been willing to leave Jensen on his own at any time except when Jared had been made to leave when everything had gone off. Josh stood up as they entered the room, and Chris pulled him into a hug, neither speaking.

Steve just stood back with Jared, letting the two give each other silent support. He always forgot that Chris had known Josh when he lived in Texas. He knew they had all hung out together when they were growing up, but it never failed to jolt him. Jensen was one of those people that fit in to whatever crowd he was with at the time. He could relate to kids ten years younger or men twenty years his senior. Josh glanced over and gave them a weak smile. He met Steve halfway, giving him a similar welcome and then promised to be back in a little while.

Chris was already standing by Jensen's bed, rubbing his hand over the blankets, smoothing the non-existent creases. He hadn't thought his friend could look any worse than he had the night before, but the tube running down Jensen's throat and the artificial breaths pushing his chest to rise and fall was a grim reminder that again he was very wrong. Chris let Steve pull him down into one of the chairs, and he listened as Jared told Steve about the reports through the night the nurses had given them.

When Josh came back, Chris kissed Steve on the forehead and told him he was going to step outside and get some air while they stayed with Jensen, and he'd let him know when he was back. Steve looked worried but gave in when Chris promised to bring coffee back for everyone.

Chris had talked to Detective Patterson the night before, Steve’s unanswered question about Kylan’s whereabouts still nagging at him. Garrett was reluctant to say anything, worried that he would do something stupid. After Chris explained that Steve was having nightmares and knowing where Kylan was might help, Garrett relented. The detective told Chris that he was at the hospital under 24 hour guard, but they were expecting to move him to a jail cell the following afternoon.

Chris asked Garrett if he'd let him know when that was finished so he could reassure Steve as well as Jared and Jensen when he woke up. He hadn't lied about the nightmares. He’d watched Steve toss and turn for the past two days anytime he fell asleep. If he hadn't mentioned he was having his own night terrors, well, that wasn't really a lie was it?

The conversation played back out in Chris' head as he grabbed a white coat off the back of someone's chair and snagged a stethoscope and chart off a desk. He grabbed a couple of bottles and syringes off a cart as he walked past it and quickly made his way down a floor, stopping at the first nurses station he saw requesting the room number for Kylan Barclay. Once he had the room number, he took a moment to compose himself. He was an actor he could pull this off.

Chris smoothed his hair back into a tie, straightened his back, and adopted an air of belonging before he shortened his stride to crisp, economical movements. He came to a stop in front of a policeman sitting beside Kylan’s room. His name tag read Officer Jackson.

"Something I can do for you doctor?" The man asked, standing up and blocking his way.

"Just need to check in on the patient. Make sure we have his chart updated and his medical orders in place before he's released," Chris lied through his teeth. Tension zinged through his body as he waited. "Wouldn't want anything to keep his discharge from going smoothly."

"No, we wouldn't want that," the officer agreed as he gave Chris an appraising look.

Chris held his breath as the officer looked him over.

"Give me a yell if he gives you any problems," Officer Jackson said as he stepped to the side.

"I'll do that," Chris smiled, relaxing a fraction as he pushed the door open and stepping through.

He stood just inside the room as the door swung closed behind him. Chris didn't bother locking it. If Jackson wanted in, the lock wouldn't stop him. He took the opportunity to observe the man that had made their lives a living hell over the last few days. Kylan was lying on his side, his wrist cuffed to the bed. There was a pillow propped behind his back to give him support for his broken ribs and sore shoulder where it had been dislocated.

Chris wanted to rip him apart.

He approached the bed quietly, not wanting to wake Kylan until he was ready too. He carefully removed the nurses call button and placed it on the table out of reach before setting out the syringes and needles.

When he was ready, he grabbed the pillow support and yanked it from behind Kylan, a grim smile of pleasure spreading across his face at the pained gasp that escaped the animal as he fell backwards.

"What the hell?" Kylan wheezed through the pain.

"Oh, I'm sure you can figure that out all on your own," Chris said as he paced around the head of the bed just out of direct eye sight.

"Who the fuck are you and what do you want?"

Chris stepped around the side of the bed so Kylan could see him. "I think you know exactly who I am, and I'm sure you can guess what I want. Don't bother looking for the call button. You can't reach it. As for yelling for the nice policeman, well, let's just say the nice officer thinks I'm a doctor, said something about grabbing a coffee while I was in here with you. I told him to go right ahead, I wouldn't dare leave you unattended."

"You won't get away with it!"

"I won't get away with what? What do you think I'm going to do to you Kylan? Maybe you think I'm going to torture you the way you had planned for Jensen," Chris mused, running his fingers over the different needles and picking up each bottle of drugs.

"Or maybe you think I'm going to go for a more charged experience," Chris flipped the switch on the defibrillator hanging from the wall.

Kylan tried to move further back on the bed, only to come up short when the handcuff wouldn't let him get very far. He watched Chris with wild eyes as he picked up a needle and flicked the top off, drawing back the plunger and filling the cylinder with air.

"Maybe I'll just shoot your veins full of air and watch the bubbles make their way to your heart," Chris smiled, approaching the bed.

"Please don't," Kylan begged.

"Is that what Jensen said? Is that what that poor girl said?" Chris growled, bending down to get in Kylan's face.

"On second thought, I know Jensen didn't beg. I bet that pissed you off didn't it?" Chris taunted. "Not as pissed off as coming back and finding he'd gotten away, though. You were going to make him do everything your perverted little mind had dreamed up, weren't you, but he fucked you over and got himself out before you could have playtime. How mad did that make you?"

Kylan's nostrils flared as Chris' taunts hit dead on each time. Chris could tell he'd started to recover from the shock of waking up and finding one of Jensen's friends in his room. He couldn't hold back the smirk as Kylan struggled to find a position that was more comfortable, finally giving up, grimacing at the pain the awkward angle had on his ribs and shoulder.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Jensen's mine! He's always been mine," Kylan boasted.

"Jensen hasn't ever been anyone's. He's not property. He hasn't had anything to do with you for years. The man had to get a restraining order and leave the damn country just to get rid of you. Which part of that sounds like he wants anything to do with you?" Chris growled, disgusted.

"You don't understand! We have a very unique relationship," Kylan spat out. "Jensen needs me to control him. He runs, I chase. That's how he likes it, but it was time for him to stay still. That's one of the lessons he has to learn."

"Unique my ass, you freak! You drugged him, transported him to a cabin and assaulted him! That's not a relationship that’s fucking kidnapping!

"Like I said, you wouldn't understand, and your friends interrupted before Jensen could find his way back and we could finish our lesson."

Chris ground his teeth together. He'd been clenching his fists together so tight that he'd lost the feeling in them. He slowly opened and closed them, flexing his fingers to return the circulation and to give himself time to calm down.

"I think the only lesson that's going to be learned is how quickly they can put your ass away." Chris leaned down and grabbed the front of Kylan's hospital gown in his fist. "What you did to Jensen was bad enough, but what you did to Steve...." he trailed off.

Chris could see traces of fear and uncertainty sneaking into Kylan's eyes even as he kept a calm facade.

"There's enough insulin over there to send you into a diabetic coma, and I want to do it so bad I can taste it, but there's two reasons I'm going to leave this room without making you a pin cushion."

Kylan's eyes flicked from the bottles back to Chris' face, inches from his own.

"I refuse to give Jensen any reason to feel guilty, and we both know that if I did anything to you, I'd find my ass in a world of trouble. Jensen being who he is wouldn't blame you. No, he would blame himself, and I'm not going to give him the bullets to go in the gun. Best of all, though, is I have the thing you want most, someone that loves me and I'm not leaving him, not for a piece of shit like you." Chris pulled back, patting Kylan’s chest, putting a little more force behind it than strictly necessary smiling at the grimace that crossed Kylans face.

"Now, don't think that you're going to get away without a parting gift from me," Chris said as he gathered up the vials and needles. "No, I'm going to make sure that whatever prison you go to, wherever you are, I'm going to know about it.

Chris stopped in front of the bed so he could look Kylan in the eye. "See here's the thing about prison, and I'm sure you know a fair bit about it too, but they have a system there. The big boys now, they're going to fight over you, with all that dark hair and those eyes, and we're not even talking about that toned body. Yeah, you're going to make someone a real pretty prison bitch, but see, if you know the right people, give them the right incentive, they don't mind sharing they're bitch around the yard."

Chris smiled as he watched the color drain from Kylan's face. "I got to tell you I do pretty good for myself, got some things coming up, and well, I think I can afford to spread some incentive around. Did Jensen ever tell you just how good I am at the things that mean the most to me?"

Chris turned as he reached the door, "No? Well, I'm sure you'll find that out first hand, because Kylan, I will be spreading that incentive around."


	13. Chapter 13

Chris exited the room, anger still running through his blood, but there was also a measure of satisfaction. The guard was standing a few feet away at the nurse's station. He approached as Chris shut the door behind him.

"Everything check out all right?" The man asked, stopping at his post beside the door.

"Yep, he'll be ready to roll as soon as his transport gets here," Chris answered, shoving his hands in pockets of his coat, turning to go back to Jensen's room.

"That's great to hear," the guard smiled.

Chris was two steps away when the guard spoke again.

"Mr. Kane."

Chris' heart stopped in his chest. He turned around slowly expecting to see a gun barrel pointed his direction.

"My wife really enjoyed the job you did on Angel," the guard said with a quick wink.

Chris released the breath he'd been holding. A small smile lifted his lips.

"Tell her thank you for me," he responded, making sure the man knew he was thanking him as well.

"I'll pass it along," the man assured, leaning back against the wall to finish his shift.

Chris made his way to the elevator, pulling the coat off as soon as the doors closed. He left the syringes and vials in the pocket, figuring some poor overworked intern would think they stuck shit in their coat again. He knew sleep deprivation would muddle anyone's brain after awhile. He shot over to the cafeteria to grab the coffees and was just getting off the elevator when Josh stepped into the hallway. Chris met him halfway, pausing to give Josh his cup.

"So you want to tell me why it took you almost an hour to get the coffee?" Josh asked mildly as he took a sip.

"They were pretty busy man," Chris lied.

"Really? That's funny, because Mike just came by a few minutes ago, said he and Tom had stopped in there to eat, and they were in and out in under thirty." Josh continued conversationally.

"That's strange. Maybe they just timed it right," Chris mumbled, refusing to give up on his story.

"Cut the bullshit Chris," Josh growled. "What the hell did you do?"

"Nothing you weren't planning on doing yourself," Chris challenged.

Josh watched Chris shift from foot to foot. "Just tell me what you did, so I know how bad it's going to be," a grim expression settled on his face.

"He's not dead unfortunately," Chris snarked.

"Well then you controlled yourself better than what I would have."

"You have a wife and kid to think about! Not to mention what Jensen would do if you went to jail because of that bastard."

"Yeah and you have Steve to think about. Who, by the way is sitting in the room with Mike and Tom, worried about why you're not back yet," Josh fumed, taking a step closer to Chris, "and do you really think Jensen would be any happier if it were you in jail instead of me?"

"Which is exactly why that piece of shit is still alive," Chris hissed, getting in Josh's face. "I'm not going to make him feel any more guilty than I know he will."

"Then tell me what you did, because I don't want to have to lie when he wakes up. He'll know it if I do."

"I just had a talk with him. No big deal," Chris answered, shrugging.

"Threatened him, you mean," Josh stated, frowning.

"No, more like a promise," Chris clarified.

"What kind of promise?" Josh questioned.

"I made it clear that no matter where he was sent, the inmates in his block would have plenty of reasons to make him their poster boy of pain." The smile on Chris' face was disturbing enough to have Josh taking a step back.

"So, you're planning on what? Making sure they have smokes and extra snacks in their care packages?"

Chris shrugged again." Whatever it takes man."

Josh sighed. He figured he should just be happy that Chris hadn't killed the fucker. Not that he, himself didn't hold the same desire to watch the bastard die a painfully slow, bloody death, because he wanted that in the worst way. He just knew what it would do to his brother if either of them did it.

"I'll let Steve know you're back and have his coffee. You'd better be prepared, though, because he's going to want to know the same thing I did," Joshua warned, grabbing his and Jared's coffee and headed back to the room, leaving Chris to trail behind him.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

It was several hours later that Jared was alone in the room with Jensen. Usually, there was at least one other person keeping watch with him. Dr. Patterson had told him that Jensen's fever had dropped almost a whole degree and that his lungs sounded a little better. Devon explained that if he continued to improve, they would start weaning Jensen off the medicine that was keeping him in the coma in couple of days. He'd told Jared that once off the medicine, it would still probably take at least two days for Jensen to wake up.

Jared sat by the bed, running his fingers through Jensen's hair, drifting in a hazy sort of consciousness. His only thoughts were of the man lying quietly as the machines beeped their steady rhythm. He'd been talking off and on to Jensen just like everyone that came to visit, and when they weren't talking to him, there was always some form of conversation going on around them. Jared made sure that if it did get quiet that he was always touching Jensen, so he'd know he wasn't alone.

"You know, if you wanted to sleep in this badly, you didn't have to go to such extremes," Jared said quietly. He smiled, thinking of the earful he'd hear if Jensen could tell him what he thought of Jared's opinion.

"You have to keep getting better," Jared continued, his voice raspy from use. "Devon said if you did, you could wake up soon. I miss being able to see you looking at me when I talk to you, and I'm not sure how much more I can take of hearing my own voice and not hearing you answer back," Jared confided, the lump in his throat making him swallow in order to finish his sentence.

Jared clasped Jensen's hand in his, bringing it to his lips. He kissed each knuckle, and down the side of Jensen's lax hand. Jared didn't even try to wipe away the tears he could feel making a slow slide down his cheeks. He rested his head beside Jensen's hip and pulled his hand up and placed his boyfriend’s limp hand on his own head, threading both their fingers through his hair.

"You're not allowed to give up," he whispered brokenly. "You're a fighter, so fight, damn it," Jared choked into the bedding.

He knew he wasn't being fair, knew that Jensen had fought and was still fighting for his life, but he couldn't help it. Just the thought of Jensen not being there, not being able to talk with him or touch him made Jared's heart ache so much it was a physical pain.

"Please don't leave me," Jared begged softly, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs as he finally let go of the tight reign of control he'd had on his fears.

Steve backed out of the door quietly, knocking into a startled Chris, shaking his head before Chris could voice an objection.

Chris got a glimpse of Jared, head resting on the bed, before Steve turned and pushed him into the hallway.

"Why'd you do that?" Chris asked, confused.

"Because Jared needed some time alone with Jensen."

When Chris continued to stare at him in bewilderment, waiting for more, Steve rolled his eyes.

"It's all finally hitting him," Steve explained, exasperated.

Chris stood there for a minute and then understanding flashed across his face, "Oh, OH!"

"Exactly."

"Shouldn't we make sure he's okay?" Chris asked worriedly, trying to see into the room around the blinds.

"No, I think he needs this time alone with Jensen to cope with everything that's happened. We both know he's not going to be okay until Jensen is," Steve responded gravely.

"Yeah," Chris agreed, reaching over and placing his hand over Steve's heart. "I can understand that," he said quietly.

\--------------------------------------

Two days passed slowly, every hour seeming to drag and bleed into the next. Devon had been happy with Jensen's progress on his last visit. He'd told Jared the fever was down to 101 and Jensen's lungs were much clearer. He warned that even with the improvements, Jensen still had an extended recovery ahead of him. Jared had been relieved that Devon was encouraged enough with the changes to start reducing the medicine keeping Jensen asleep.

The doctor reminded him it could still several days before Jensen woke up, but that it would be the body’s natural response to trauma and not the medicine holding him in sleep. A conversation that Jared had to keep reminding himself of as the first day slipped away and the second was on its way to the same.

Jared hadn't left the hospital once since Jensen had been admitted, and he didn't plan on leaving it without Jensen. Chad had tried to get him to go home and shower, maybe even eat something besides cafeteria food. He'd even tried to guilt him into leaving using Sadie and Harley, but even the dogs couldn't get Jared to budge, of course it didn't help that Jared knew that everyone was taking care of his babies and they weren't suffering.

Chad had finally resorted to bringing Jared a bag with clothes and toiletries, while Mike and Tom brought food that they knew Jared had a hard time refusing, hoping he'd eat more than a couple of bites. He hadn't even realized how much weight Jared had lost until Tom mentioned it because he was there every day and the other two only made it every other one, since they were taking care of things on the outside. The news had somehow leaked that Jensen was hospitalized and the guys had been fielding the calls and news reporters, trying to keep it to a dull roar.

Thankfully, no one knew why he was there yet, and if they were really lucky, no one would find out for a while. Jared wasn't naive enough to think someone wouldn't eventually figure it out, but he could always hope.

Chad showed up at his usual time, everyone having made a schedule so that there wasn't an overlap in visits, forcing someone to stay in the waiting room. The time frames also gave Jensen's family time to rest and left plenty of people to do food runs on their way in.

"How's he doing?" Chad asked as he met Mack in the hallway.

"Which one? Jensen's color is better, I think, and his breathing sounds less congested than it did a couple of days ago. Jared, on the other hand..." she trailed off.

"I know," Chad sighed. "He's the color of 200 year old paper," he mumbled referring to the jaundiced parlor his friend's tan had faded to and the brittle posture Jared seemed to hold his body in.

"I don't think he's been further than the cafeteria to get mom a drink," Mackenzie stated, worry weaving through her voice.

"I've tried to get him to go outside just to get some fresh air. Hell, even the doctor has threatened to ban him, but he wouldn't budge and Doc. Patterson didn't stand a chance, and he knows it," Chad confided.

"We were talking earlier and I think he feels guilty, but it's the most ridiculous thing I can imagine."

"Did he tell you he felt guilty?" Chad asked, scowling at the notion.

"No, it was just some of the comments he made, and I tried to tell him without coming right out and saying that none of it was his fault."

"Why didn't you want to just tell him straight out?"

"Because if I was just reading things into it, I didn't want him to think I was blaming him by bringing it up," Mack stated tiredly.

"Good call," Chad agreed. "I don't think you misread him though. I've been listening to some of the things he's said, and between Jensen and his dogs, which he hasn't mentioned, but I've seen his face when I tell him how they're doing, I just don't know what to do to convince him he's not to blame," Chad said quietly.

"We'll just have to keep reminding him he's not," Mack said firmly. "At least until Jensen wakes up and can talk some sense into him."

"He still hasn’t woken up?" Chad asked.

"No, but the doctor said he's out of the coma and just in a normal sleep pattern now, so it, hopefully, won't be long."

They stood and talked for a little longer until Josh showed up to run Mack back to the hotel, having rented a car to keep from taking a cab fifty times a day.

Chad braced himself before entering the room. He despised seeing his friend the way he'd been over the last several days.

"Hey," Chad greeted, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed.

"Hey," Jared answered quietly, his eyes flicking up to meet Chad's for a second before returning to Jensen.

"How's he doing?" Chad asked, even though he'd already gotten a report. He felt it was necessary to engage Jared in conversation when at all possible. His friend was living inside his head way too much when he wasn't talking to Jensen.

"Better, fever is still coming down and Devon said his chest sounds clearer," Jared responded, running his hand over Jensen's arm.

Chad watched as Jared picked up a tube of ointment and carefully applied the gel to the raw and abraded skin around Jensen's wrist, his fingers gently massaging the ointment into the pale flesh.

He felt like a voyeur watching Jared care for each wrist and then move to Jensen's ankles. The act was so intimate, he found himself holding his breath, afraid he'd shatter something that couldn't be put back together. Only when Jared finished and was leaning back in his chair with Jensen's hand in his did Chad feel it was okay to speak.

"How are you holding up?"

Jared looked over at him confused.

"What do you mean? I'm fine. It's Jensen we need to worry about," he answered, returning his attention to the man on the bed.

"Really? Because I'm sure if you were to get on a set of scales you've lost a good ten pounds, if not more."

"I'm fine, I've....." Jared started but Chad just kept talking over him until he gave up.

"I know you haven't been sleeping, and I realize you're worried," Chad continued, ignoring Jared's scowl. "However, some of it’s pure stubbornness."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jared huffed.

"Bull shit, you don't," Chad growled. "They gave you pain medicine for that broken hand, and I've yet to see you take one!"

"Doesn't mean I haven't. You're not here all the time," Jared argued.

"All right then, let me see the bottle. We'll see how many are left," Chad spat back, calling his friend's bluff.

Jared deflated in front of him. "Fine, I haven't taken any."

"Why the hell not?" Chad bit out.

"I didn't want to be unconscious in case something happened, and now I have to make sure I can function in case Jensen wakes up and needs me."

"Do you think he needs to wake up and see you like this?" Chad asked, waving his hand at Jared's appearance. "You've lost weight, and you don't just have bags under your eyes, you have the seven piece ensemble. When was the last time you brushed your hair? You need to shave again because I know it's been at least three days since your face has seen a razor.

"What if he wakes up while I'm in the other room? I can't not be here when he wakes up," Jared hissed.

"Why? Do you think he's going to believe for one minute you weren't here? That you didn't stay glued to his side 24/7? You know as well as I do Jensen knows you better than that," Chad shot back, exasperated. 

"I need to be here when he wakes up," Jared said softly.

"Why's he not waking up Chad? He's supposed to be waking up," Jared whispered brokenly.

Chad leaned forward in his chair, drawing Jared's attention away from Jensen for a moment.

"He will, Jared. The doctor already told you he's making his way back. Didn't Dr. Patterson tell you he was in a normal sleep pattern, that he wasn't in the induced coma anymore?"

"Yes, but he's still not awake," Jared accused.

Chad knew Jared had listened to everything the doctor had said, but he was also aware of Jared's need for time limits, especially on important things. As unorganized and spontaneous as the man appeared, he really wasn't. His mornings typically consisted of running with the dogs, weights, waking Jensen, a shower, waking Jensen, grabbing coffee and a piece of fruit, waking Jensen and going to work. His nightly ritual was pretty much the same minus the weights and waking Jensen.

Jared absolutely had to know when he needed to be somewhere and how long was the longest it would last. If not, he felt out of sorts and totally scatter-brained, a feeling he didn't like. Not knowing when Jensen was supposed to wake up had to be driving him insane. Chad wasn't surprised he'd latched onto the two days Dr. Patterson started with, and it was now firmly implanted in Jared's mind that Jensen was to wake up then and nothing else would do. Although, he was fairly sure earlier wouldn't have hurt Jared's feelings at all.

"Jared the doctor told you roughly two days. It was an estimate, he told you that. He said every patient was different. It could be sooner, or it could take longer. Jensen had already been sick before all this mess happened. It's no wonder his body needs the extra time to heal."

"I know. It's just I need him to wake up so I know he's really getting better. Devon can tell me looks better, and sounds better, that his fever is down, but until he opens his eyes and is responding. *I* don't know that's he's improving," Jared explained, slumping back in his chair exhausted.

"I understand, but if his body still needs the rest then it's a good thing if he keeps getting it. I realize it doesn't help your peace of mind, but in the long run, he'll be better off for it."

"Yeah, I know," Jared grudgingly agreed. "Doesn't make it any easier," he pouted.

"Go take a shower, a long one. Then shave that shit off your face. You know I'm the only one that can pull off that rugged look," Chad ordered.

"A small smile pulled at Jared's lips. "Dude, you can't grow one of these," he said, stroking the scruff that was well on its way to a beard. You always look like someone started a patchwork quilt and left half the patches off your face when you try."

"Get your ass in that bathroom," Chad growled, throwing a plastic cup at his friend’s head. "I think I'm beginning to like Jensen more than you." 

Jared laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. He clutched his chest, backing his way toward the bathroom, "I'm wounded man."

"You're going to see wounded if you don't disappear for at least thirty minutes," Chad threatened, smiling.

When Chad was sure Jared was actually in the shower, he pulled his chair closer so he could speak without being heard if someone walked in. He took in the bruises littering Jensen's wrists, arms and neck, the colors changing from the deep blue/black and purple to sickly green and yellow around the edges. Chad shook his head, trying to clear the images of what Jensen must have gone through while he's been at Kylan's mercy, or lack thereof, as the case was.

"Hey, man, I know you're tired, and you've got a damn good reason to be, but Jared's falling apart out here. He really needs you to wake up," Chad said quietly. "You know how I am about Jared, so I'm not above using the guilt trip. You don't even have to stay awake but a minute, just long enough for him to know you're coming back," Chad bargained.

He squeezed Jensen's arm gently and sat back in the chair. He could have sworn he saw Jensen's eyelashes flutter. When ten minutes of staring didn't elicit any movement, he decided he'd been wishing so hard he'd make himself see things.

\-------------------------------------------------

Jared glanced at his watch as he shifted in his chair, trying to get comfortable. Dr. Patterson had dropped by sometime around midnight and removed the ventilator and feeding tubes. He'd been at the hospital later than expected, due to a pile up on one of the bridges. Devon told Jared he wasn't coming in until later the next day, so he wanted to remove the tube just in case Jensen chose to wake up before he came back in.

Jared's eyes drifted to Jensen's still form, happy that he could see his face now that he was breathing unassisted. He caught himself watching Jensen's chest rise and fall, holding his own breath, waiting for each and everyone. Jared shifted again, trying to decide if it was even worth going back to sleep at four in the morning. Chad had made him take a half a pill for pain when he'd refused to take a whole one and he'd found it was just enough to take the edge off without knocking him out or leaving him so muddled he couldn't function.

He finally sighed, throwing back the blankets and deciding not to bother. Jared knew the nurses would be by in an hour or so to take Jensen's vitals and change out his IV bags. He made a quick trip to the bathroom to take care of his bladder’s urgent request of relief and to run a brush over his teeth and hair. When he was finished, he pulled a chair closer to the bed and grabbed the ointment off the stand.

Jared had begged the nurses to let him take over the three time daily application of antibiotic ointment to Jensen's wrists and ankles. The nurses had checked with Dr. Patterson, and upon his approval, handed over the tube and showed him how to apply it. They still checked the abrasions on each visit, praising Jared on the care and attention he gave his boyfriend.

Jared didn't think he was doing anything that anyone with a loved one in the hospital wouldn't do. He was just happy they allowed him to help. It made him feel as if he were doing something to help Jensen since he'd failed so spectacularly at protecting him. Jared was working on Jensen's left ankle when he was positive he felt his foot try to twitch away. Under normal circumstances he couldn't touch Jensen's legs from the knees down unless they were in the middle of sex because he was so ticklish, a condition Jared took advantage of at any and every opportunity.

He paused in his ministrations and pulled his hands away, glancing up at Jensen to see if he was awake and then back down to his foot. When his boyfriend stayed stubbornly silent in sleep, he moved to Jensen's right ankle, starting the process of applying and gently massaging the medicine in when he felt the twitch again. Jared noticed his shirt was brushing against the bottom of Jensen's foot when he worked, making him wonder if Jensen was starting to wake up by responding to the ticklish stimuli.

He finished the right ankle and set the tube aside, trying to decide how to proceed. Jared kept waiting for some sign that Jensen was waking, but he didn't see so much as a flutter of lashes. Throwing caution to the wind, not that what he was about to hurt Jensen, he slid his index finger from the heel of Jensen's foot to the ball in a just barely there touch. The reaction was instantaneous, as Jensen tried to pull his foot away in a weak jerk.

Jared couldn't believe how ecstatic he was at such a small gesture, but he could feel his heart stutter and he was sure if anyone walked into the room and witnessed the grin on his face they'd think he was manic. He moved the chair back to the head of the bed wanting to be close so Jensen could see him when he woke up and not be afraid. Jared thought about paging a nurse but rejected the idea just as quickly. Jensen hadn't actually woken up so there wasn't anything they could do. They'd tell him to keep an eye out for changes and call them when he decided to rejoin his friends and family.

He leaned over placing, a kiss on Jensen's forehead, he settled back and picked up the book he'd started reading aloud to Jensen a couple of days ago when he'd gotten tired of hearing his own monologue.

Jared had noticed he was even thinking out loud just so he could have something for Jensen to hear. He'd been reading over an hour when the hair on his neck stood on end. He glanced at the door to see if anyone had come in without him knowing it, but no one was there so he went back to the story. He read for another few minutes, the sensation of being watched starting to make him wonder if the room was haunted, an observation that would have Jensen raising that damn eyebrow at him.

"You don't like my eyebrow?" a raspy voice questioned.

Jared jerked so hard in his chair he nearly toppled over.

"Jesus! Don't do that, you're only supposed to do that to Chad!" Jared gasped, trying to calm his heartbeat.

He realized that Jensen was awake, not only awake, but talking to him the same instant he uttered the last syllable.

"Oh my God, you're awake!" How do you feel? Do you need anything? Shit! I've got to page the nurse." Jared rattled off.

Jensen waited patiently until Jared paused to take a breath. "Jared?"

"Yeah sorry," Jared apologized sheepishly when he realized he was babbling incessantly.

"Are you all right?" Jensen asked worriedly.

He'd noted the cast on Jared's hand all the way up the wrist and the broken and swollen flesh along the knuckles of his other.

Jared sat back speechless for a minute. He shouldn't really have been surprised that Jensen's first question was about his well being. He just couldn't get past the reality of Jensen laying in a hospital bed and asking if Jared was okay.

He shook his head, a grin pulling at his lips, "You're supposed to be answering that for me," Jared informed him.

"Sorry, I couldn't keep up with all the questions you asked," Jensen rasped, a small smile gracing his lips.

"Here, let me get you some water. It'll help your throat." Jared grabbed the pitcher and poured some into a cup, holding the straw so Jensen could take a few sips. He wiped up the small amount that spilled because of the way the bed was reclined, but he didn't dare touch anything until Jensen had been checked, which reminded him he still hadn't called the nurse. He pushed the call button, setting the cup down so he could take Jensen's hand in his.

Jensen took his time studying Jared as he was informing the nurse that Jensen was awake. Besides the cast and contusions on his on his hands, there were dark bruises under his eyes from lack of sleep. He noted that Jared's clothes were wrinkled and seemed to hang on him, not fitting as well as Jensen remembered.

"Jared, are you really okay? He didn't hurt you did he?" Jensen asked, fear starting to seep through his consciousness.

Jared was stunned by the question but the rapid increase of Jensen's heart monitor had him rushing to answer.

"No, baby he didn't hurt me, I never even got a chance to see him. I promise, he didn't hurt me except by taking you." Jared reassured.

He noticed Jensen's eyes flicker to his hands and back to his face, the questions clear in their green depths.

"I didn't get near him. Tom dumped him in the trunk and wouldn't give me the keys. I may have been a little zealous in my attempts to get in there to him." Jared glossed over the attack he'd carried out on the trunk. He should have known Jensen wouldn't let it rest there.

"How did you break your hand doing that?" He asked, clearing his throat again when it became too scratchy to push words through without doing so wincing at the pain it caused.

Jared grabbed the cup and let Jensen take a few more sips, running his fingers through Jensen's hair after he set the cup aside.

"I tried to rip the trunk apart with no tools." Jared mumbled, dropping his eyes to stare at the bed.

Jensen paled at the damage Jared had done to himself because of him.

"Please don't do that again," Jensen whispered.

Jared looked confused, "Do what?"

"Hurt yourself because of me."

Jared didn't get the chance to argue the point, because one of the nurses had entered the room. She took Jensen's vitals, asked if questions to determine how lucid he was and if his memory were affected by the ordeal he'd endured. She informed them that Dr. Patterson had been paged, and that she would let them know when he called. Jensen asked if he could have his bed raised some and was given the okay. Jared gave the bed small adjustments until Jensen told him where he was the most comfortable.

Jared was relieved when the nurse finally left, and he could address Jensen's last comment. He shifted his chair around so he was as close to the bed as he could get without crawling into it with Jensen. He wanted to make sure he could see Jensen's face and Jensen could see his, no matter how much he tried to hide.

"I didn't get hurt because of you. It was no one's fault but Kylan's, absolutely no part of this was yours. Plus, I was the one that decided to use my bare hands on the trunk. You're not responsible for my actions, only I'm responsible for that, and I made that choice." He stated, keeping his eyes pinned to Jensen's.

"Maybe, but I made the choice to see him in the first place, and it led to all of this," Jensen said sadly, waving his hand weakly between the two of them.

"You also made the choice to leave the relationship, it was his to continue to purse it, and in the manner he did. Even after legal intervention for all the good it did." Jared pointed out passionately.

Jensen sighed, leaning back into the pillow closing his eyes for a minute. Jared noticed a small smile turning up the corners of Jensen's mouth.

"What's so amusing?" he asked.

Jensen opened his eyes to look at Jared. "I was just thinking that Dean was smarter. He at least used a crow bar instead of his hands."

"Ass," Jared growled, but there was a grin stretched across his face.

If Jensen was finding humor in the situation, maybe things wouldn't be as hard to deal with after all.

"Seriously though are you sure you're okay?" Jensen questioned yet again.

"I'm fine Jensen." Jared assured, smoothing his hand through Jensen's hair. He relaxed a little more when Jensen leaned into the touch.

"Hey, why don't you get some rest while I call your family and let them know you're awake," Jared suggested softly.

"Are they here?" Jensen blinked his eyes, trying to stay awake.

"No, they're at a hotel about ten minutes away."

"Oh, wake me up when they get here?" Jensen asked.

Jared was thankful that Jensen fell asleep before he could answer. He didn't want to lie, because there was no way he was going to wake Jensen up when he obviously still needed the rest. He slipped out the door so he could make the call, but stayed right by the door so he could hear if Jensen needed him. Jared knew whoever answered the phone was going to be worried, phone calls before six in the morning usually never meant good things.

"Jared?" Josh asked, worry coloring his query.

"Yeah."

"What's wrong? Is Jensen all right? Did something happen?"

Jared could tell Josh was moving around as he spoke, probably trying to find his wallet and keys. He knew how Jensen felt now when he rattled off non stop.

"Jensen's fine," Jared reassured. "He woke up a little while ago, I just wanted ya'll to know before you got here."

Josh let out a huge sigh and Jared could imagine him flopping back into a chair.

"Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me!" Josh finally exclaimed.

"Sorry, I just thought you would want to know."

"No, it's fine, I did, it's just when the phone rings like that you're hoping for the best but expecting the worst. You know?" Josh explained.

"Yeah," Jared nodded even though no one could see him.

"Is he still awake? Can I talk to him? Wait! Has he still got the tube in?"

"No, no and no," Jared answered each question in turn. He fell back asleep right before I came out here to call you. I think the pain medicine they have him on is still working through his system. Dr. Patterson took the tubes out late last night, or maybe it was early this morning," Jared mused as he tried to remember. "Anyway, he can talk but his throat is still really sore from the tube, or it could be from the bruising, more than likely a little of both.

"Don't remind me," Josh growled. "Damn good thing the bastard is sitting in a jail cell right now, instead of where I can get to him."

"Didn't you just yell at Chris for that a couple of days ago?" Jared asked.

"I was still worried about Jen being okay. I didn't have time to be worried about what he was doing as long as I knew the police had him. Now that Jensen's awake, I can concentrate on making that piece of shit pay."

"I don't think I can deal with thinking about him until I get Jensen home and healed," Jared confided.

Josh hummed in understanding, "I'm going to wake everyone up so we can get over there. I'll see you in a few."

Jared agreed, hanging up and returning to Jensen's room to settle into a chair and wait. He felt like he could finally take a deep breath without the weight of fear pressing down on him. Jared knew Jensen wasn't anywhere near well, but just having him awake and talking felt like the greatest victory of all time.

Dr. Patterson showed up a little while later and spoke to the nurse and Jared a few minutes before he tried to rouse Jensen. It took a few tries, but Jensen finally blinked his eyes open. He could see the confusion clouding Jensen's eyes before reality caught up with him. Jared watched Jensen's frantic search around the room until his eyes landed on him and reassured himself all was as he remembered it from his previous jaunt into consciousness. Jared saw how Jensen's body relaxed when he found what he'd been seeking and the willingness to focus on the doctor once he'd calmed.

"Jensen, how are you feeling?" Devon asked as he took Jensen's pulse.

"A little worse for wear actually." Jensen answered hoarsely.

"I'm glad you've decided to rejoin us," the doctor said. "It's much easier to do my job when the patient can tell me what's bothering them," he said grinning.

"Yeah, well, I'd hate to make your job too hard, and Jared would have been calling me lazy before long," Jensen answered, pushing himself up in the bed a little.

"Hey," Jared protested.

"Don't let him pick on you too much." Devon responded, winking.

Jared sat back, crossing his arms and pouting. He didn't mind playing the part of the offended party, not when he could see Jensen's eyes spark with mischief. Jared couldn't maintain the pout for long though, his mouth turning up at the corners.

Devon checked all of Jensen's vitals then went over each injury with him, making sure he knew what each were and at what point in the healing process they were. Jensen acknowledged that his ribs were still giving him a good bit of trouble and his throat was sore, but that he only remembered bits and pieces of his time in the ER.

Devon explained it wasn't unusual to lose pieces of time even when you held complete conversations. The trauma he'd endured could cause periods of memory loss, as well as remembering things out of sequence. He told them both that he thought Jensen would get most if not all of it back over time, but sometimes the memory may be foggy or almost like it had happened in a dream, or in this case a nightmare. Devon suggested that Jensen keep a notebook handy so he could write things down as he remembered them.

"Why would he need to write them down?" Jared asked, confused at the odd suggestion. He glanced at Jensen who seemed at a loss as well.

"There's actually two reasons, the first being recording what you remember helps purge it somewhat from your brain, even if doesn't help you forget. It's like talking about an issue instead of holding it in to fester. Sometimes you may not be ready to talk to someone about it but still need to get rid of it in some way. The other reason is Garrett is going to need whatever you can give him, and it needs to be as accurate as possible when the case goes to trail."

Jensen blanched at the thought of having to go to court, but there was no way in hell he was going to let Kylan get away with the things he'd done.

Jared stood up as soon as he saw what little color Jensen had drain away. He squeezed the hand he was holding and was relieved to feel Jensen squeeze back briefly in return. Jensen nodded his head in understanding, stiffening his resolve even as Jared felt the fine tremors under his hand.

"I'll do whatever I need to, to make sure he can't hurt anyone else," Jensen stated somberly.

"I know you will," Devon patted his shoulder. "I'm sure your family is in the waiting room by now so I'll go let them know we're through, and I'll call Garrett and let him know you’re awake.

"Okay," Jensen agreed yawning, exhaustion starting to creep up on him.

"I'll be back this afternoon to talk about tubes you're still hooked up to," Devon said before he left the room.

Jensen blushed at the reminder that machines had been taking care of almost all his bodily functions.

"Damn, I haven't had to have one of these since I was a kid," Jensen grimaced at the thought of having the catheter removed.

"Good times," Jared snarked.

"Shut up," Jensen shot back weakly, blushing again.

The doors swished open before Jared could offer a response, and Jensen's parents came into the room.

Jared leaned over and kissed Jensen on the forehead. "I'm going to give you some time with your parents."

"You don't have to leave," Jensen said, grabbing Jared's arm.

"I'm not leaving, I'm just going to the waiting room to call the guys and let them know you're awake," Jared explained, rubbing the hand Jensen had wrapped in his sleeve.

He waited until Jensen relaxed and let his hand fall to the bed before he straightened up and moved away so Alan could get closer to his son. He smiled as he made his way to the waiting room, relieved that he finally had something good to report for a change. He waved at Josh and Mackenzie as he waited for someone at the house to pick up. Steve answered the phone right before it would have clicked over to voicemail. He had been in the shower and Chris was still asleep. Jared told him the good news and could literally hear the weight lifting off the other man’s shoulders, Steve promised to tell Chris as soon as he hung up and wanted to know if Jared needed him to call the other guys.

Jared refused the offer since he knew once Steve woke Chris up and told him, Chris would be pushing them out the door to get to the hospital. He made the call to Chad next and asked him to bring a few things that would make Jensen more comfortable while he was at the hospital. He called Tom and Mike, who both promised to be there later in the morning after they took care of the gifts that had been piling up at the CW offices. They had been going through everything to make sure there was nothing in them that would upset Jensen in any way.

When Jared made it back to the room, Josh and Mackenzie had taken their parents’ place and were visiting with their brother. Jared watched from the doorway for a few minutes, smiling when Mac threatened to braid Jensen's hair in his sleep if he ever decided it would be fun to scare her to death again. He waited a few more minutes, not wanting to interrupt the time Jensen spent with his family, but when Jensen looked towards the door searching, his body relaxing when he caught sight of Jared, he moved into the room.

Jared stayed in the room through all the visits. Chris and Steve showed up no long after Jensen's family, and they stayed for an hour, promising to come back sometime that night. Tom and Mike showed up around noon, Mike all excited about the tons of chocolate that Jensen had waiting at the house when he got home. Jared had a feeling they'd be seeing a lot of him until all the goodies were gone, not that he really minded, it'd be one more person to duck Jensen's frustration when he started feeling well enough to complain about the restrictions he'd be living under until cleared by the doctor.

Jensen fell asleep shortly after everyone left and Dr. Patterson made a return visit eliciting a promise from Jensen that if he gave the clearance to remove the catheter that he wouldn't try a trip to the bathroom without assistance. Jared shouldn't have been so happy to see Jensen meekly agree, but if it meant one less thing to worry about then he was all for it. Devon told them that Garrett would be by some time that afternoon and it might be a good idea to get some sleep while they could since both had yawned through his entire visit. He informed them they were starting to give him a complex, between the not wanting to visit and the yawning he felt like a poor host.

Jensen just rolled his eyes and snorted, but he smiled, which made Jared happy. He didn't know how Jensen could be as okay with things as he was, and he was worried that everything was going to come crashing down on top of them before long. Jared knew there was nothing he could do but be there when the inevitable reality of the past week sunk in and support Jensen in any way he could. Jensen was displeased that Jared refused to crawl in the bed with him, but quieted down when Jared pulled his chair alongside the bed, dropped the railing, and lowered the bed so it was closer to the chair's height. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it put them close enough that Jensen could feel Jared beside him, and he drifted off to sleep with Jared close behind him.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Jared had been awake for about twenty minutes and Jensen had just woken up when Garrett came by around three in the afternoon. Jared had told everyone that visited the detective was coming later that day so no one asked Jensen about the particulars of what happened. None of them wanted him to have to relive the memories more than necessary, Jared included. As much as he'd like to have asked before Garrett had gotten there, he wasn't sure he could hear it twice, much less put Jensen through it.

Garrett shook both their hands being careful of Jared's injuries and Jensen's IVs. He took a seat and pulled out a small recorder which he set on the hospital tray and a notebook he kept in his lap.

"Jensen, I'm going to record our interview if you don't mind," Garrett said, waiting for Jensen's okay before moving on. "I'm still going to take notes while we talk, but this keeps me from having to come back and see you too many times," he explained.

"Okay," Jensen acknowledged, trying to get comfortable.

Jared stood and adjusted the bed to a better angle and then helped rearrange the pillows behind Jensen's back to support his body and take pressure off his injuries.

"Jared, you can talk, but try not to issue any threats seeing as I'm taping this, and they'd be mighty hard to ignore with it being recorded for posterity," Garrett requested, smiling at Jared's scowl.

"I'll do my best, but I'm not promising anything." Jared growled.

Garrett nodded his head in understanding. "Jensen how are you feeling? Think you're up to this?"

"I feel like week old road kill, but it's better than I was earlier," he confessed, looking at Jared's stiff posture. "Let's just get it over with."

Garrett picked up the recorder and recited his name, the date and time, who he was interviewing, and who was present at the time. Once that was done, he set the recorder back on the hospital tray and asked Jared and Jensen both to acknowledge they knew the interview was being taped.

"Jensen, I want you to start off with what you were doing the afternoon of the 10th," Garrett requested.

Jensen cleared his throat, thinking back, "I'd just gotten out of the shower. Jared and Chris were at the set and the guys were supposed to come over but Steve called them and asked them to come later." Jensen paused and cleared his throat again.

Jared handed him the cup of water, wrapping his hand around Jensen's to steady it. Jensen took a couple of sips before relinquishing his hold so Jared could set it aside.

"Everyone had been at the house so much, not that I don't love them, but I wasn't allowed to go out," Jensen cut his eyes in Jared's direction who just smiled back and blew him a kiss. "I was starting to go stir crazy, it felt like the walls were closing in around me every time someone else stopped by. So Steve and I were going to play some guitar and just relax for a little while."

"I remember getting out and drying off on the way into the bedroom. I didn't take my clothes in because steam from the shower always makes them feel damp," Jensen explained.

"I was drying my hair, and I heard a noise and thought Steve had come in, but when I went to turn someone put a rag over my face."

"Can you remember what it smelled like?" Garrett asked, making a notation in his book.

Jensen closed his eyes casting back in his memory for the answer. "It was sweet smelling. You know that smell when it's so sweet it makes you sick to your stomach?" He waited for confirmation that Garrett understood. When the detective nodded, [he] Jensen continued.

"I took a deep breath right to start with because it scared me, by the time I realized what was happening and tried not to breath, whatever was on the rag was making me dizzy and lightheaded."

"Taking a deep breath is an automatic reaction when someone's startled. It's the bodies' way of gearing up for an attack or a surprise," Garrett explained.

"Sort of like when you hit the water you automatically take a breath and hold it?" Jared asked.

"Exactly, it's a built in defense mechanism. Unfortunately, it sometimes does the opposite of what it's meant to do, like your getting a huge whiff of what was probably chloroform. Can you tell me what happened next?" Garrett asked.

"I'm not sure... I remember thinking I needed to fight, but I can't remember if I actually did. Everything went black pretty soon after that I think."

"Do you remember being transported at all?"

"No, I didn't wake up until I was at that place," Jensen answered.

"The hunting shack?" Garrett asked for clarification.

"Is that what it was?" Jensen asked.

Jared could feel Jensen's whole body tense, and it pissed him off that he couldn't do a damn thing to help. Jensen squeezed his hand and smiled when Jared brought his eyes up from their clasped hands to look at him. Jared swore Jensen could read his mind most times, but in all honesty, he pretty much knew what was going through Jensen's head just by watching his eyes. Jared squeezed back gently, stroking his thumb along Jensen's knuckles.

"When you woke up were you restrained?'

"Yeah, but I was a little muddled to start off with so it took me a few minutes to figure it out. I didn't try to open my eyes right away because I was feeling so nauseous and there was a gag in my mouth, so I was trying not to throw up. I didn't know I was cuffed until I tried to move my arm."

"Your hands were cuffed?" Garrett asked, glancing at Jared.

Jared was angry. He knew Garrett had to ask the questions, and God only knew what court was going to be like, but he didn't understand why the detective had to ask ones he already knew the answers to.

"I have to ask, even if I know, because I need your statement in your own words, and I know it's hard to go through it all again. If there were another way, I can promise you every detective in the world would have been using it. For instance, if the person changed bindings or moved you from place to place these are important facts that help us obtain evidence," the detective explained.

Jensen nodded his head in understanding and the explanation made sense to Jared, but it didn't make him any happier that Jensen had to relive every little thing he'd been put through.

"You feel like continuing?" Garrett asked.

"Yeah, let's keep going." Jensen said, leaning into Jared.

"Okay. Was the person there when you woke up?"

"No, I stayed quiet at first, trying to figure out if someone was there with me, but the only thing I could hear besides my heart trying to break my rib cage was the fire. When I tried to move, that's when I realized I still didn't have any clothes on."

"Can you tell me how you were restrained?"

"My hands were cuffed above my head through a slat in the headboard, but my feet were tied with rope a little bit apart. I remember trying to decide which one hurt the most, the metal digging into my wrists or the ropes scraping the skin off my ankles."

"Did the person come back at anytime when you were still at the shack?"

"Yes," Jensen said softly.

"Take all the time you need, but I need to know what happened."

"I pretended I was still unconscious, but he knew I was awake." Jensen's voice wavered.

Jared forced himself to stay quiet even though the need to yell was about to make his head explode.

"Did you know who the person was?"

"It was Kylan. He started talking to me, and then he sat down on the bed and started to touch my face. I tried to move away from him, but I couldn't get far. He was telling me why he picked me, and how he was going to make sure I understood my place. He crawled on top of me. I couldn't see him, but I could feel the weight on my legs." Jensen stopped and cleared his throat, trying to prepare himself for the rest of what he had to tell. He glanced at Jared trying to gauge how he was feeling.

Jared could feel Jensen's eyes on him, and he refused to give his boyfriend anything else to worry about. He leaned into Jensen's body, offering silent support, making sure to look Jensen in the eyes until he was ready to continue.

"When he put his full weight on me, I couldn't breath. The only thing I could think about was that I was happy the blanket was between us because I if he touched me skin to skin, I was going to throw up and the gag was still in my mouth. I wasn't really surprised when he started rubbing against me and at some point he leaned up, so he could finish himself off." Jensen's voice cracked but he couldn't stop now, he had to get it all out so he wouldn't have to think about it for a little while.

"I don't really know what happened for a minute or two because I was trying not to be sick, between him and the rocking motion, I thought I was going to lose it. He finally took the gag off after that though, so I could take my pill. He propped a pillow under my back so I was sort of leaning to the side. It was apparently too much to ask for water because he just pushed the pill down my throat, told me he knew I could take it that way, I was good at it after all." Jensen stopped to clear his throat again, partly due to the pain, the rest to the huge ball of disgust lodged right behind his Adams apple.

He was pretty sure he heard Jared growl, but when he looked over, Jared was patiently waiting with the cup of water, holding the straw in place so it wouldn't dance around the cup. Jensen didn't think Jared could get anymore tense without setting off tremors that would register on the Richter scale, but so far he hadn't erupted.

Garrett waited until Jensen had finished drinking before continuing. "Did he take the blindfold off at any point?"

"No, he wanted me to hear what he was doing, but he didn't want me to see it right then. I don't know, maybe he thought it would be the ultimate surprise, or he thought it would scare me more to hear and not be able to see what was going on. I heard him moving furniture, and I heard some drilling and chains hitting the floor and clinking around. I had already made up my mind if he left me alone long enough I was going to get the hell out, no matter where out was."

"So, he did leave you at some point?"

"Yeah, he said he had some more things to get so my training," Jensen made air quotes, "would be done properly this time."

"After he left what did you do?"

"I waited a little while to make sure he was really gone and not just standing somewhere watching me, and then I started trying to get the blindfold off. It took me a little while, but once that was off, I could see that there wasn't really any hiding places for him to be in so that helped. There were wires running along the headboard, I'm not really sure for what..." Jensen stopped as a distressed noise escaped Jared.

Jared shook his head and motioned for Jensen to continue, not wanting to interrupt and drag the questioning out any longer than it had to be. He'd talk to Jensen afterwards unless Garrett saw fit to explain.

Jensen continued to watch him with a worried look but started where he left off. "I used them to pick the cuffs. I've never been so happy to be playing a delinquent in my entire life. I'd have made Dean proud." He smiled when Jared chocked back a shocked laugh, knowing he'd eased some of the tension in Jared's frame.

"Once I got the ropes off, it took me a few minutes to get the circulation going again. I kept thinking he was going to come back before I could get out of there."

"Jensen, we found vomit beside the bed. Can you tell me who was sick and what happened?"

"It was me," Jensen answered in a small voice. "I forgot about the mess he'd made earlier on the blanket and when I was trying to get my feet loose, it touched my arm..." he trailed off not sure what to say. "I kind of lost it," Jensen finished weakly.

"I'm sure anyone in that position would do the same," the detective said. "Can you tell me where you got the clothes from? Were they Mr. Barclay's or were they some he'd brought with him?"

"I don't think so, everything was scattered around the shack. The boots were under the sink in what passed for a bathroom and the clothes were on a shelf. I found the knife under the sink too, and I made a sad holder to strap it to my leg."

"So, Mr. Barclay didn't come back before you could leave?"

"No, once I found everything I could, I got the hell out."

"Jensen, can you tell me what was in the room when you finally got the blindfold off?"

"You mean the room itself, or what he'd put in there?" Jensen asked, not sure if he understood what the detective was asking.

"Whatever looked like didn't fit into the cabin's normal use I guess." Garrett asked, trying not to lead with the question.

"Well, not that I ever saw it any other way, but I don't think a chair bolted to the floor with chains as an accessory was part of the owner’s plan when he brought his catch there, but I could be wrong," Jensen quipped, trying to break the tension.

Jared snorted beside him and Jensen could tell he really wasn't happy with the situation being made light of, but he appreciated the attempt in spite of himself.

"All right, there's going to be some pictures I need you to look at just so we're clear on what you saw, and what he added later but we can do that another day. I think you've had enough for our first interview and I have most of what I need so I'm going to get out of here and let you rest. I'm going to talk with the D.A. and see if there's anything else he thinks he'll need before I set up our next appointment," Garrett told them, standing and turning off the tape before collecting the rest of his stuff.

He wished them both well and told them if they had any questions, or Jensen remembered something, to give him a call. Jared already had his card, so he made his exit, leaving Jensen to quietly watch as Jared ground his teeth.

"I know it's not okay, but I made it. I'm still here," Jensen said softly.

"You have no idea how much I love you do you?" Jared said, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on Jensen's forehead, the tip of his nose, and then finally a soft brush of lips, sliding together.

"I think I have an idea. The thought of you kept me going," Jensen said, snuggling down into the covers. "Every time I thought I couldn't get up, or it got so cold all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and go to sleep, I would think about getting to you, and it kept me moving."

Jared choked on the effort not to break down and cry. He wanted to know what Jensen had done after he got away. There was two days not accounted for, and he needed to know what Jensen had been through.

"Can you tell me how you made it down and to the other side of the lake?" Jared asked, sliding onto the bed and pulling Jensen carefully into his arms.

"There's not all that much to tell really. I just kept walking. I tried to avoid any roads, whether they were true roads or just trails. I wasn't sure how much time I had between me leaving and him coming back."

"Where did you spend the night? It was freezing and you didn't have a coat. How did you survive?" Jared asked, putting his chin on top of Jensen's head, content to feel every breath Jensen took, every vibration rumbling through his body as he spoke.

"There was a crevice with an overhang. It was just big enough for me to make a small fire and curl up around it," Jensen murmured.

"How did you break your ribs? You didn't say anything about him hitting or kicking you."

"I think he was a little rough getting me in and out, because I was sore all over, but I fell and hit some trees going down one time. I probably did it then." Jensen laughed a little.

"What?" Jared asked.

"When I was in that hole, I thought Kylan had found me. I heard something moving around outside, and I was worried about the fire leading him to me, but I knew I wouldn't survive the night without it."

"But it wasn't him was it?" Jared asked, tightening his arms a little, but careful of Jensen's battered body.

"No, it was a deer. I'm not sure who was more scared, me or it. I'll confess, though, I was scared shitless and I didn't have a way out so I think I won." Jensen said through a yawn.

"Jared?"

"Yeah?"

"How did I get from there to here?"

"You don't remember?" Jared asked, surprised.

"Not really, I remember falling several times and laying there telling myself I had to get up, get to you. The last time I fell, that was it, I tried to get up and nothing would move. I heard someone talking to me and then being moved. I'm assuming there was an ambulance, seems like I remember the siren."

"You fell out on a snowmobile track. There were some kids out that way, and they found you, scared them to death, but they got you help and one of them stayed with you the entire time. They covered you with their coats until help got there and the one that stayed said he talked to you while he was waiting for them to get back."

"I'd like to meet them. Did Garrett get their names?"

Jared snorted, "I'm sure he did. I don't think much gets past him. Do you remember talking to Chris and Dr. Patterson when you first came in?"

"Yeah, mostly. I was worried about Steve because Kylan said he was dead. Chris swore he was fine, but I knew he was leaving things out." Jensen's voice had that edge to it that proceeded the famous Ackles interrogation.

"I'll tell you after your nap. You've seen him and talked to him right? So you know he's okay," Jared soothed.

"Okay, but I want to know after," Jensen qualified. "Chris said you were up there with Kylan, and I freaked. I remember I told Devon what happened. Chris was really mad but he said I did good." Jensen mumbled around another yawn.

Jared smiled, rubbing his cheek over Jensen's hair. "You did real good," he whispered listening to Jensen's even breathing and thanking God he still had this, that it hadn't been taken away.


	14. Chapter 14

Jared had been chagrinned to realize Chad had been right and the first night Jensen was conscious he'd had a fit when Jared had left the bathroom without putting his shirt on first. Jensen was shocked at how much weight Jared had lost in such a short amount of time, and he'd been far from pleased at the discovery, needless to say he took steps to correct the problem immediately.

He had made Chris and Steve take Jared to the closest restaurant, not fast food he'd railed, an honest to God sit down and take your time restaurant and feed him. He'd told all three of them, he wanted to see the bill when they got back, because he didn't trust any of them. Chad had been hiding outside the door giggling and obviously not quietly since Jared had lifted his head from his dressing down long enough to glare at his friend and stick his tongue out on the way past. Chad had just waved them goodbye and flounced into the room to keep the fire breathing dragon company. Jensen hadn't been all that happy with him either for letting Jared's health suffer, but calmed down when he was told that the only way Chad had been able to get Jared to eat at all was to bring food to the hospital because Jared wouldn't leave.

Chad had made the decision to leave a few days later when he was positive Jensen was well enough to continue bullying Jared into taking care of himself. Jensen had finally talked Josh and Mack into going back home a week after he came out of the coma. Jensen had argued that Mack had missed too much school already and Josh's vacation wouldn't last forever.

He'd spent the better part of three weeks in the hospital recuperating from his injuries, and trying to get Chris and Steve to go home and take care of each other. Jensen knew they needed some time alone to reconnect without the stress of everything that had gone on. Jensen's heart monitor had sped up so much when Jared had finally told him about Steve's electrocution and his short time with no pulse that the alarms had gone off and sent everyone into a panic.

Jensen's parents had actually been easier, they'd left a couple of weeks after his release when they were positive he was settled and Jared was able to take care of himself as well as Jensen. Chris and Steve had been the hardest to get to go home. Well, Chris had, Steve had been willing to give Jensen the space he needed but Chris had dug his heels in and refused to be budged. Jensen had finally made a deal with Chris that if his next doctor's appointment went well that he and Steve would head home.

He knew that Chris had dealt with what he could at the time, but the rest had been pushed aside until he felt he was in a safe place to let it out. While being away from the hospital and in his friend’s home was a safe place, Jensen understood that Chris wouldn't truly let go until Steve, and he were alone. Which was why he was sure Steve agreed to the deal before Chris could even open his mouth. They both could tell the lid that Chris had been keeping on his anger and fears was about to blow.

The taxi had picked them up two weeks ago to deliver them to the airport and Jensen had shut the door with a relieved sigh. He'd called them four days later to make sure they had both been taking care of each other and that they were okay. Which brought him to the here and now. He'd waited as long as he was going to wait, and now he was taking matters into his own hands.

Jensen was frustrated, and he was going to remedy that situation tonight!

Jared was out doing Jared things, Jensen hated shopping as a rule, but he hated window shopping with a passion. Why anyone wanted to go store to store just to look was beyond him and anytime Jared got that gleam in his eye, Jensen would hide behind a book or script and beg off, not that Jared would allow him out of the house right now anyway. He'd had to promise to keep the phone on his person at all times and not do anything the doctor had made him swear not to do until he was cleared. Jensen knew the only reason Jared relented then and left him on his own was that they were both in some severe need of alone time. As much as they loved each other and enjoyed spending time together. A month and a half of almost non-stop togetherness was enough to grate on anyone's nerves.

Jensen had called Mike and asked him to pick up the dogs, ensuring Jared couldn't use walking or feeding them as an excuse to dodge Jensen and his plans for the evening. Tom had dropped off a bag of groceries that Jensen had requested and Jared wouldn't be home for a while, so he had plenty of time to get everything ready. While he worked, he tried to decide the best way to get what he wanted. Jared had thwarted every attempt at sex Jensen had tried, and if he didn't know Jared better he'd have thought that it had to do with Kylan's assault. In his weak moments he wondered if maybe he shouldn't dirty Jared by being with him again, but every time that thought assailed him, Jared would do something so sweet it made it difficult to swallow around the lump in his throat.

The no sex thing was seriously driving him nuts, though. There'd been no sex of any kind, no rutting, no blow jobs, hell, there'd been no hand jobs, unless it was his own hand when Jared had been asleep or gone. Nothing, and he'd had enough, thank you very much. The lack of sex had stemmed from the doctor making the grave mistake on the day he'd been released of ordering him not to do anything strenuous for a month. Jared took it upon himself to interpret that meant sex as well, and if Jensen were in the mood to think logically, sex with Jared was the definition of strenuous.

However, he was too fucking horny to be logical when he felt fine, except for the constant hard on and throbbing in his balls whenever Jared was near him. He was pretty damn positive the doctor hadn't meant sex and if he had, well, that was just too damn bad because he was going to be having some tonight, and it wasn't going to be with himself.

Jensen finished getting things set upstairs and quickly moved to the kitchen to get supper going. He'd had the steaks marinating, so he got the salad ready and the baked potatoes in the oven while he was waiting for the grill to heat up. He'd put them on once Jared called to tell him he was on the way home, a habit he'd gotten into in the days after the kidnapping, not that Jared hadn't been considerate before but now he never missed calling ahead. Jensen thought it was as much to reassure himself that everything was fine in his absence as it was to reassure Jensen that he wouldn't be late.

Thirty minutes later, as Jensen sat at the table drinking a cup of coffee he was only able to sneak when Jared was out, the phone rang. Jared told him he'd be home in less than a half an hour, and to decide what he wanted to watch later tonight. Jensen didn't bother telling him the only thing he planned on seeing tonight was personalized porn.

He was just removing the rolla when he heard Jared’s car pulled into the drive. Jensen almost dropped the tea pitcher when Jared skid into the kitchen, his face creased with confusion, sniffing the air like a dog on the scent of a chase.

"What are you doing?" Jared asked, concern creeping into his words.

"Making supper," Jensen answered, stating the obvious.

"I can see and smell that," Jared retorted, exasperated. "I guess I should have asked, why are you cooking supper?"

"Because I'm tired of takeout, and I wanted to," Jensen explained mildly. He refused to get angry, even if Jared was an overbearing Neanderthal when he was worried.

"Okay, but I could have cooked when I got home."

"Something always sets off the fire alarm when you cook."

"It does not!" Jared exclaimed, outraged.

Jensen just stared at him until Jared caved.

"It's not every time," he pointed out petulantly.

"Waving the pot holder in front of the alarm to keep it quiet doesn't count," Jensen said, grinning at Jared's pout.

"Fine, but when suppers over I'll clean up while you go relax in the bath."

Jensen turned around so Jared couldn't see the triumphant grin on his face.

"Only if you take one with me," Jensen responded, turning back around to hand Jared the plate of potatoes so he could carry the steaks to the table, and waited for an answer.

Jared stared at Jensen, trying to decipher what exactly was going on. He had a feeling he was being manipulated, but he couldn't figure out to what purpose. Jensen had obviously already gotten his way concerning supper, and he knew if he opened the dishwasher, Jensen's favorite coffee cup would be in the rack. He was well aware of his boyfriend's tendency to sneak coffee when he was out, but at least it kept the stimulants to a minimum if he didn't let on that he knew.

Jared was positive if he confronted Jensen on his stolen caffeine fix then the stubborn man would figure there was no reason to sneak and just pick back up his ten cup a day habit. Jared had been trying to get him to cut back a long time before the attack, but he wasn't going to waste the opportunity that had presented itself, when the doctor had ordered Jensen to lay off the massive quantities of stimulant he typically ingested.

Jensen sat down to wait patiently as he watched Jared try to figure out what was going on. He remained patient, refusing to give anything away that would bring his plans to a halt.

Jared narrowed his eyes a second before he smiled. "Sure, if you'll sit here and rest while I take care of the dishes and the grill."

"I don't mind watching you work," Jensen answered, smiling when Jared rolled his eyes.

Jared kept the conversation flowing as usual, they talked about Mac making up her school work and Megan's new boyfriend. The one Jared was threatening to take the shotgun home to scare with. The dinner was so normal Jensen could almost believe the last several months hadn't happened at all. Unfortuantely Jensen had never been able to lie to himself even when it would have been a lot more pleasant.

Jensen true to his word sat and watched Jared clean up the kitchen and then head outside. Jared made him jump when he stuck his head back in the door ten seconds later.

"Where're the kids?" He asked, confused and feeling a little guilty that he'd been so preoccupied with Jensen overdoing it that he hadn't even realized the dogs were missing.

"Mike picked them up, said he was going to hang out with Tom and figured they could play with their doggy friends." Jensen breezed through the lie, trying hard not to twitch under Jared's scrutiny.

"Okay. Do I need to pick them up tomorrow or is he bringing them back by?" Jared asked, still a little perplexed.

"He said he'd call. He didn't know if he was going to stay over or come back this way tonight."

"All right," Jared shrugged and said cheerfully before disappearing out the door again.

Jensen breathed a sigh of relief at dodging that bullet. He'd hoped Jared would just assume the dogs were upstairs and not ask questions, but he hadn't held his breath. He took the opportunity to start the bath water and light some of Jared's candles. He had no idea where the man kept buying them from, but every time he turned around, there was a new on in the house.

He stripped down and grabbed the shower gel and sponge, rolling his eyes and promising himself to pick on Jared some more for his girly bathing supplies. Jensen sank down into the hot water, sighing as the ache in his bones eased. He didn't know if it was a residual effect of the cold he'd endured, or if it was psychological, but he couldn't seem to stay warm.

The cold would settle in his bones and make his teeth chatter. Jared had caught him with the electric blanket turned on high when he'd fallen asleep one afternoon and had nagged until Jensen finally told him about being cold all the time. After that, Jared had made sure the thermostat was set a little higher and that Jensen always had socks on. He also kept making hot tea, which Jensen despised but drank anyway. He knew Jared was trying to help, and if he took the time to make it then Jensen was going to drink it and smile doing it.

Jared climbed the stairs, pulling his shirt off as he went. He was profoundly grateful that when he'd bought the house, he'd had the bathroom remodeled and had the biggest bathtub he could find installed. Jared still thought Jensen was up to something, but he was never going to say no to a bath together, a fact that made them late on more than one occasion, but he was not going to think about it or he'd have to jerk off before he got in the tub. Abstinence was definitely not fun, but he didn't want Jensen overdoing it so he was going to keep his hand to himself no matter how hard that was.

He entered the bathroom to the sent of mulberry and flickering candlelight, shocking him into silence for a second. Jensen was laying at the back of the tub and looked like he had no intentions of moving. Jared shivered at the picture of wet shimmering skin. He quickly finished removing his clothes and stepped in, settling himself between Jensen's spread legs. He felt a little off center being in the front since he usually took the back. He loved having Jensen lay back and rest his weight on his chest, loved being able to wrap his arms around the lightly tanned freckled body and run his hands over the warm, wet skin.

Jared was suddenly very happy that he was sitting in the front, otherwise he'd have difficulty hiding his growing hard on since it would have been stabbing Jensen in the back, and that wouldn't get him anywhere but trouble. He'd kept a running mantra in his head for the past two weeks that the absence of sex was not going to kill him, and it was for Jensen's well being. His head and heart listened exceptionally well, but his damn libido was giving him hell.

Jensen bit his lip, trying to stifle the laugh that bubbled in his chest when Jared moved his hands into his lap. He knew Jared was just as frustrated as he was. The only problem was Jared was just as stubborn too. That worked in their favor most of the time, but when they were on opposite sides of a viewpoint, it made things that much harder, pun completely intended.

Jensen plucked the gel and sponge off the tray, working up a lather. He started with Jared's neck, working down his back in slow circles, using his free hand to slick through the soap and massage hard muscles and taut skin. Jared moaned and leaned forward to make it easier to reach more of his back. Jensen rinsed the soap off and placed a kiss at the top of Jared's spine before pulling him back to rest against his chest.

He soaped up the sponge again and set to work on each arm, settling each one gently in the water and rinsing what was left. Jensen smiled at the low moans that slipped past Jared's lips every time he stroked along a particularly sensitive spot. He paid special attention to Jared's nipples, sliding the edge of the sponge around and around, grazing the pebbled flesh with firm and then barely there pressure. Jensen leaned forward just enough that he could nuzzle behind Jared's ear and blow cool air down the length of his body, watching intently as the dark pink nub puckered even more.

Somewhere in the back of Jared's mind was the thought that he should be taking care of Jensen, but he couldn't make himself move. The molasses thick desire pooling in his veins and weighing down limbs left him basking in the erotic stimulation. He groaned low in the back of his throat when Jensen pushed his hands away from his cock and placed a sharp nip to his ear.

"Mine," Jensen mouthed into his neck.

Jared whimpered, leaning his head back on Jensen's shoulder, and dropping his hands down to grip Jensen's thighs. Jensen lathered the sponge again, working it across Jared's abs and stomach. He smiled into the wet heat of Jared's shoulder when his hand slid past the water line and his fingers skimmed lightly along the hair trailing from navel to the base of Jared's cock.

Jared's hips thrust up, seeking friction. He'd given up trying to stifle his moans when he'd resorted to panting to keep from coming. Jared couldn't think past the blood rushing in his veins and the throbbing between his legs.

Jensen kept his fingers loose as he stroked up and down Jared's length, the water slicking the movement over silky heat. Jensen dropped the sponge he didn't even realize he was still gripping and slid his hand along Jared's thigh and down the crease. His fingers tip toed along the quivering muscles and under until he could stroke the satiny weight of Jared's balls, rolling them gently in the palm of his hand.

Jensen smiled when Jared groaned and rolled his head from side to side. He nipped at the taut line of flesh, sucking a mark into the top of Jared's shoulder, biting down over the bruising area. Jensen slid his tongue along the indention his teeth had left and kissed the sting away.

"Jensen," Jared gasped. "Please......"

"Please what? What do you need Jared?" Jensen whispered in his ear.

Jared moved his hand to cover Jensen's slowly stroking fist and tightened their grips, speeding up the motion and gasping when Jensen's hand slid from his balls, stroking along the tender flesh behind them. He could hear the water sloshing against the side of the tub as he writhed at the pleasure spiraling through his body, his breath coming quick and shallow before his eyes slammed shut, and he gritted his teeth. His hips stuttered and his body tried to fold in on itself as his orgasm ripped through him, shooting milky white into the soapy water.

Jensen trapped Jared against him with an arm around his chest to keep him from drowning when his body bowed forward. He loosened his grip but continued to stroke Jared through the aftershocks, letting go only when he heard the choked little moan Jared always made when stimulation became too much.

It took Jared several minutes to calm his racing heart and catch his breath, the thrum of release still weighing down his body. He could feel Jensen's heart jack hammering against his back and the hard length of cock nestled between their bodies. Jared smiled faintly at finally having figured out what Jensen was up to, provided several minutes late, and he'd fallen for it. There was no way he'd leave Jensen needing him and not give him what he was asking for, but they'd be doing it on his terms now. He had no intention of letting Jensen get hurt ever again, even if the stubborn fool thought he was fine.

Jared stood, twisting so he could pull Jensen up with him, covering his mouth with his own. He slid his hands down Jensen's back, moving him to the edge of the tub before stepping out and lifting Jensen over the side. Jensen's squeak of surprise lost in the greedy battle of dueling tongues and clashing teeth. Jared walked them backwards through the bathroom and into the bedroom, water sliding off their bodies and leaving small puddles on the floor behind them.

He felt Jensen hit the bed with the backs of his legs, and he moved his arm around Jensen's back to control their descent onto the sheets below, sliding them forward until Jensen's head was resting on the pillows. Jared pushed to his elbows and looked down at his boyfriend's flushed face, bright green eyes staring back and a small smirk twisting up one corner of his mouth.

"You think you're so smart don't you?" Jared asked, dipping his head to lick the droplets of water sliding down Jensen's neck onto his shoulder.

"Hmm..." Jensen hummed, rolling his head to the side to give Jared better access.

Jared sucked a bruise on the fragile skin covering Jensen's neck, licking over his mark, excitement coursing through his blood at the shiver that racked Jensen's body. He pulled himself away from the tempting curve of Jensen's shoulder to cup his chin in his hand and look at heavy, lidded eyes.

"You won that round, but we're doing everything else my way," Jared growled, leaning down and sucking Jensen's bottom lip between his teeth, worrying the swollen flesh until Jensen bucked up against him.

Jared grabbed his hip, pressing him to the bed and stilling his motions. "No, if you want this then you're going to lay still and let me do it. I'm not going to let you push yourself too far."

"Jared....." Jensen whined.

"No. You can either agree with the terms, or I'm going to crawl off this bed and go take a very cold shower," Jared declared, watching the war of desire and irritation play across Jensen's face. He relaxed when desire won because he didn't know if he actually had the will power to get up and walk away.

Jensen relaxed under him, giving Jared his answer even without the verbal confirmation. "I can still touch though, right?" Jensen asked quietly.

Jared smiled down at the pout tugging at Jensen's features. "Yes, you can touch. You can even kiss, but you can't do your usual calisthenics the way you normally do," Jared said, kissing the tip of his nose.

"Fine," Jensen sighed, throwing his arms wide in a 'have at it' gesture.

Jared knew he was smiling his 'shit eating' grin as Jensen called it, but he really couldn't help it. He'd missed the physical connection they had through sex, and he wanted to give Jensen what he needed as badly as he wanted to protect him. He pushed Jensen's hair off his forehead, placing a kiss there before he did the same to each eyelid, repeating the kiss to the tip of Jensen's nose and then finally slanting his mouth over the eager one below him.

Jensen moaned into the wet heat of Jared and threaded his fingers through silky hair, pulling a little to hear Jared's answering groan. He mapped a path with his fingers down the hard muscled breadth of Jared's shoulders and back to a trim waist and tight ass, dipping a finger into the crease and rubbing lightly across the clenching hole that was hidden there.

Jared rolled his hips up into the pressure of Jensen's finger, moaning when he felt the burn of being breached. He tongued along the shell of Jensen's ear and followed the maze of cartilage dipping in to swirl around and around. He was prepared for Jensen's hips to automatically surge upward, and held them down, moving to nip at an ear lobe before repeating the process to the other, stealing kisses in between.

Jared smiled as Jensen whimpered. He'd been amazed at how sensitive Jensen was to any touch, but his ears and the base of his spine seemed to be the most sensitive, bringing an almost animalistic submit or fight reflex to the fore. Normally, Jared would enjoy the fight version, but tonight he wanted to love Jensen and he wasn't going to let the stubborn fool overdo it.

He paid special attention to the spot between shoulder and neck, nuzzling the line of freckles that were scattered along Jensen's shoulder, sucking red splotches along the way to keep the brown speckles company. Jared slid further down, licking around a puckered nipple, pulling it into his mouth and flicking his tongue over the tip again and again. He set teeth to either side, worrying the nub back and forth, Jensen's whimpers spurring him on.

Jared applied more pressure to Jensen's hips when he bucked violently, his body quivering as Jared sent mixed signals of pleasure and pain shooting to every nerve ending. Jared took his time until Jensen was panting for breath, but he listened carefully for any wheezing, prepared to slow things down if he needed to. He slowly made his way over each rib, licking and biting a path to the perfect little belly button that Jared loved to worship.

He lavished extra attention on the skin around the small hole, nipping along the edges and licking into the center, giving Jensen time to catch his breath and slow his heartbeat a little. Once Jared could hear him breathing a little easier he slid further down, taking the fine golden hairs between his teeth, tugging a path all the way down. Jensen's cock slid against his chin, smearing precome, his stubble rubbing across the leaking slit and ripping a groan from Jensen's throat.

Jared spread Jensen's legs wider so he had better access to run his tongue along the crease between leg and hip, making sure to give the same attention to both sides. He ignored the hard cock bobbing next to his cheek, spinning out the pleasure and tension just that little bit longer. Jensen surged forward, nearly knocking Jared off the bed when he ran the flat of his tongue along Jensen's pulsing length, pausing to delve into the leaking slit with the tip of his tongue, continuing down the other side to complete the journey.

Jensen's whimpers had him repeating the same pattern several more times until he moved lower, shouldering Jensen's legs up and further apart, wrapping his arms around the upper part of his thighs and lifting to help support the weight. He licked the smooth skin drawn tight with desire, sucking the heavy weight of Jensen's balls into his mouth, and eliciting a hoarse scream from the man above him. Jared laved attention on both, saliva dripping down into the crease of Jensen's ass.

Jared grabbed the lube, slicking the cool liquid over his fingers. He teased along the tight muscle circling the puckered hole over and over until Jensen tried to shove his hips down to force the penetration but Jared held tight with the one arm he still had wrapped around Jensen's thigh.

"Jared! I swear to....." Jensen was cut off mid growl when Jared finally pushed his finger past the initial resistance and deep inside.

"I told you, I'm in control tonight, and you're just going to have to learn patience," Jared replied serenely, never taking his eyes off the sight of his finger disappearing inside Jensen's body. Jensen's only response was a gasp as Jared slid another finger alongside the first, stroking them in and out and going deeper with each push, searching for the spot hidden within that would send electricity shooting through his boyfriend’s body.

Jared nuzzled the inside of Jensen's thigh, sucking a mark into the skin as he pushed a third finger in, working Jensen open so he would only feel pleasure when Jared finally slid home.

"Jared please," Jensen begged, trying to push down again only to be stopped by Jared's weight keeping him still.

Jared looked up in time to catch Jensen reaching for his leaking cock, but catching his wrist before his hand could reach its destination.

"No touching," Jared ordered.

"Jared..." Jensen gasped, his back arching off the bed when Jared hit his prostate dead on and continued to rub across it.

"Hmmm," Jared hummed as he dipped his head back down, hoisting Jensen's leg further up so he could run his tongue along the stretched ring his fingers were working open. He pushed his tongue between his fingers, relishing the single unique taste that only Jensen possessed. Jared knew he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer, his dick had long since filled and was now making itself known to the point of pain.

Jensen gave a disgruntled growl when Jared removed his fingers but let out a little sigh as Jared continued to fuck his tongue in and out of Jensen's body. When he felt like they were both at a breaking point, he slid back up Jensen's body, catching his mouth in a sloppy kiss. Jared moaned as Jensen gripped his hair and pulled him further down, deepening the kiss and leaving them both gasping for air.

Jared eased down onto the bed, never breaking their kiss, until he gently turned Jensen on his side, pulling his back against his chest.

"Jared, what are you doing?" Jensen asked confused, trying to turn around so he could see what was wrong.

"Nothing's wrong, I promise. We're doing this my way remember?" Jared whispered in Jensen's ear.

He ran his hand along the line of Jensen's shoulder, down his arm and over his hip, hooking the bend of Jensen's knee in his hand and pushing forward, making room for his own body in the space left behind.

"Take your hand and hold yourself open," Jared breathed into the ear he'd been licking.

Jensen whimpered but did as he was told, sliding his hand over his hip and gripping the right side of his ass and pulling, leaving himself open for Jared to take.

"Don't move your hand, keep it right there," Jared whispered as he slid his cock up and down the crease of Jensen's ass, groaning when the head caught on the stretched rim of Jensen's hole.

With one hand supporting his head and the other holding Jensen's leg, it took a couple of choreographed shifts to get just the right angle, but when the head of his cock finally breached Jensen, they both moaned long and loud. Jared kept pushing forward, inch by slow inch, until he was buried balls deep, stilling just to relish the feel of Jensen's body surrounding and gripping him tight. Jensen shifted back with his hips, letting Jared know he was ready for more, leaving Jared to get control, so he could last more than two seconds, which would be entirely embarrassing, since he'd already come once in the last hour and Jensen still hadn't.

He pulled back until only the head of his cock, was held inside the tight grip of Jensen's ass, holding him wide open before sliding back in just as slowly as he'd entered, angling so could hit the bundle of nerves he was aiming for. Jared knew he'd gotten it right on the third thrust when Jensen chocked on a gasp and tried to move his hand to grab his cock.

"No, keep your hand right where it is," Jared said between pants for breath, his thrusts increasing in speed and power.

"Jared, I need..." Jensen started to plead only to be cut off by a particularly hard hit to his prostate.

"I know, baby," Jared groaned, grabbing the headboard to anchor himself, not realizing Jensen's hand was already there until they overlapped.

Jared could tell Jensen was almost to the breaking point, his whole body was shaking and there were going to be bruises where he was griping his ass so hard. Jared pushed Jensen's leg up just a little further, his cock sliding a little bit deeper, and Jensen was coming apart, untouched, shooting streaks of white across his chest and chin.

Jensen's head fell back to rest on Jared's shoulder as he pushed for his own release. The quiet moans every time his cock hit Jensen's prostate and the weak trickle of come still oozing from Jensen spent dick had him coming faster than he'd expected and with a force that surprised him after he'd already come once that night. The aftershocks still rolling through Jensen's body milked the last drops from Jared, leaving him spent and shaking.

He nuzzled the space behind Jensen's ear, smiling tiredly at the shudder that went through the other man's body. Jared pried both their hands off the headboard, their arms dropping to the mattress, flexing his fingers to return the circulation and feeling. He gently slid Jensen's leg into a more comfortable position, and shook his hand slightly to relieve the cramp that was trying to twist his fingers. It took him a minute to realize that Jensen still had his hand right where Jared had told him to keep it.

"Jensen."

"Hmm...." was the sleepy reply.

"Baby, you can let go now," Jared said softly, coaxing Jensen's stiff fingers into releasing the firm flesh he was still gripping.

"Um kay." Jensen's groggy reply barely reached Jared's ears.

When Jensen didn't move, Jared reached out and gently lifted each finger until Jensen's grip loosened. He pulled the hand he was holding to his mouth, littering kisses across each knuckle. Jared thought Jensen had fallen asleep but when he shifted back a little to slide slowly from Jensen's body, his boyfriend grunted in displeasure, flailing backwards with his hand trying to keep Jared close. Jared smiled, sliding closer so he could wrap his body around Jensen's.

*************************************************************************

Several hours later, Jared woke to Jensen leaning over him and watching him sleep.

"Hey," Jensen whispered.

"Hey."

"Thank you." Jensen leaned forward, dropping a light kiss on waiting lips.

"For what?"

"For taking care of me."

Jared shifted his head on the pillow so he could get a better look at Jensen's face. "You don't have to thank me for that. I love you. Of course I'm going to take care of you."

"I know. I love you too, but sometimes I feel like saying it. I don't want to take you for granted," Jensen answered, dropping back down to lay beside Jared.

"Jensen, I've never felt that way." Jared rested his forehead against Jensen's.

"Okay, but is it all right if I still tell you?"

"If you need to." Jared waited a few seconds, watching Jensen carefully. "What's going on Jen?"

"Nothing."

"We can do this all night, you know I'm not going to give in until you tell me."

Jensen gave a small smile. Jared was nothing if not persistent. It's not that he didn't want to talk to Jared, he just really didn't know how without possibly hurting him.

"I know," Jensen sighed. "I just don't know how to say it without it coming out wrong."

"Don't worry about what I think. You need to talk about whatever's bothering you, and I want to know," Jared reassured.

"It's just...." Jensen trailed off. "Sometimes when I think about what happened, before, and now I wonder if it's me. If it's something I did or who I am, if maybe I'm damaged somehow, and then I think about you."

Jared had to bite his tongue not to yell that there wasn't anything wrong with Jensen, that he hadn't done anything, but he knew that Jensen needed to finish what he'd started before Jared could refute the guilt he could feel pouring off the man in front of him.

"What about me?"

"You're you," Jensen said with a sad smile. "You're kind, and patient. You put up with me, and... you're just you." Jensen stalled out as if there was no other way to explain it.

Jared waited. He knew Jensen sometimes had a hard time putting his feelings into words, making them fit into the pattern he wanted.

"It's just sometimes when I think of what's touched me, who's touched me, that I feel dirty, and I don't want it to rub off on you," Jensen hurried to finish the sentence, as if he knew Jared was just waiting to protest.

"Jensen." Jared reached out, pulling Jensen closer. "You know that's not true, right?" Jared asked, a little terrified of the answer he'd receive.

"I guess, I mean, I know you don't feel that way. I swear I know," Jensen rushed to reassure Jared.

"Is that why you haven't said anything? You thought I would be upset?" Jared asked.

"Some of it. You're mad aren't you?" Jensen's voice held resignation.

"No, I'm not mad." Jared moved so he could lift Jensen's chin, putting them eye to eye. "I'm upset you've been worrying about this for so long. I'm upset that you even have to deal with this in the first place. I'm not mad at you, and I understand why you feel the way you do, but you shouldn't."

"Nothing that happened," Jared paused, making sure Jensen was really listening. "Nothing that happened was your fault. You didn't know Kylan was a nut when you started dating him. You even ended it. He was the one that stalked you, took you and hurt you. You didn't do anything that would make him think you were receptive to his advances. You did everything you could do to stop it. There's no reason you should feel guilty for anything."

Jensen nodded, not really knowing what to say, and not sure he could say anything with the lump lodge firmly in his throat.

"As for feeling dirty, the therapist said it was normal to feel that way. She said it would get better over time. We just had to keep working through it. I know that's hard sometimes, but you're not dirty and you certainly aren't going to soil me," Jared responded seriously.

He really wanted to joke and say he'd been far from innocent when they'd gotten together, but that's not what Jensen needed right now. There were times to lighten a situation but this wasn't one of them. Jensen's fears and worries were never going to be a joking matter no matter how unrealistic or absurd they seemed to the people who loved him. They weren't absurd to the man feeling them.

"I love you Jensen, and even if that piece of trash had done worse, you still wouldn't be dirty. You're always going to Jensen, the shy, awkward, beautiful man that I love and nothing is ever going to change that." Jared kissed the top of Jensen's forehead, relaxing as he felt the tension start to seep out of the body he was holding to so tight.

"I'm not beautiful." Jensen's denial was muffled by the skin of Jared's neck.

"I call you awkward and you want to grumble about the beautiful part?" Jared chuckled.

"I am awkward," Jensen shrugged, still not moving his face from its hiding place.

"You're beautiful too, inside and out," Jared argued, grinning when he felt Jensen smile against his skin.

He knew it was going to take time to work through everything that had happened, but they had all the time in the world. He wasn't going anywhere, and Jensen would figure that out sooner or later.

"Jared."

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."


End file.
